Author Topic: Last Rights  (Read 1517 times)

Stonewall

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Last Rights
« on: July 23, 2008, 07:08:35 PM »
After seven months, seven deaths, a website change, and countless reviews, we've finally reached the end of the road. I'm sorry to see the story wrap up, but I'm glad that I was along for the ride. I thank all of the writers and Tara for creating a very intriguing, interesting, and enjoyable adventure. And with that, I present my last thoughts on our Redventurers.

Peter

“…And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you’re going to fall
Tell them a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
And call Alice, when she was just small…”

It’s hard to give last thoughts on Peter, because I never got the chance to have first thoughts; the first and only post was very fast paced, and we didn’t actually get to see much of the rabbit, who of course was also the first to die. It’s a great pity, because I saw great potential for him to take on a leading role. But alas, what happened happened, and we may never know the true potential that Peter might have had.

Shelby “Modi” Twotongue

“…Don’t question why she needs to be so free
She’ll tell you it’s the only way to be
She just can’t be chained
To a life where nothing’s gained
And nothing’s lost
At such a cost…”

While Shelby, like Peter, only posted once pre-demise, there was a definite personality there, and a sense of character that came through very strongly. Given her temperament, it would have been interesting to see who she sided with ultimately, in the end. I’ll confess that the sarcastic tendency of the stoat got on my nerves, and I fear that she may have lapsed into heavy angst (as seen in her death post), and yet I can’t help but feel curious, really, what Shelby would have been capable of, because I believe that ultimately, Shelby was voted off due to her solitary post count, and not through any lack of talent.

Harold Drybank

“Adventure seeker on an empty street
Just an alley creeper light on his feet
Young fighter screaming with not time for doubt
With the pain and anger, can’t see a way out
‘It’s not much I’m asking’ I heard him say
‘Gotta find me a future, move out of my way…’”

He might not have been around very long, but frankly, I think Harold was one of my favourites in the story. You had a great mixture of comedic effect and seriousness, with great potential for development. With larger than life villains on the island, I would have loved to have seen Harold undergo a transition to full hero. It was a pity that the vole never had a chance to go through any great interaction with any of the other character; he had a brief chat with Peter, a vendetta against Ashira, but I would have greatly loved to have seen him get a gander of Ulrick, being polar opposites as they are regarding the hero business, not to mention getting his reaction to the Big Evil. Sadly, like Shelby, I believe you got dinged on not posting in week three, and you were taken out far too quickly.

Anton Clayworth

“Good sense, innocence, cripplin’ mankind
Dead Kings, many things, I can’t define
Occasions, persuasions, clutter your mind
Incense and Peppermints, the color of time
Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothing to lose…”

I believe Anton had the distinct disadvantage of not being around at the beginning, as his integration into the story after it had begun meant that he had to become almost a secondary character in order to enter the plot without disrupting the flow. That is a pity, because I believe with his aristocratic background, he could have easily be seen as big a power figure as Silus. He definitely was a villainous figure with the cannibalism factor, and I liked how you dealt with Sableclaw, but I found that Anton never really interacted enough with the other characters to become essential to the plot; for a while he seemed almost like an expendable thug of sorts. Ultimately, there was a lot of potential for Anton to come out in shine, but unfortunately he was overpowered by the others, and kind of fell to the side.

Ashira


“…You’re the right kind of sinner to unleash my inner fantasy
The invincible winner, and you know that you were born to be
You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don’t you mess around with me
You’re a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker
Don’t you mess around, no, no, no!”

Words cannot begin to describe how much I enjoyed Ashira. Her presence alone was enough to impose a threatening atmosphere, so well was she portrayed. She and Silus were the perfect duo of villains, with the weasel doing the plotting and the ferret doing the on field action. Most of all, (and this goes for all the evil entries) I thank you for creating an evil villainess. Unlike in Redventure 3, in which the evil characters were very much painfully un-evil, you had no problems with Ashira being the antagonist, and it worked incredibly well. Ashira was definitely one of my favorites, and I still can’t quite understand why she went out so early.

Silus Delmore

“…The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs the show
He’s licking his lips
He’s ready to win
On the hunt tonight
For love at first sting…”


You walked a fine line as an arm chair villain, but I think it worked out well. Obviously, Silus was more prone to plotting than to doing, but he did it in such a cool, calculating, business like matter that I never find myself growing tired of it. I liked how you managed to become the central power figure on the island without “god-moding,” but rather through rational means; it gave Silus a more realistically evil feeling. The only semi complaint I had was that I wished you had done more with his otter ghost; she popped up once or twice, but I never felt she was used as much as she could have been. All the same, I thought Silus was a very good villain, and was very memorable indeed.

Tassle Riverswift

“…In the end it comes down to you thinking
And there’s really nobody to blame
When it feels like your ship is sinking
And you’re too tired to play the game
Nobody’s coming to help you
You’ll just have to stand up alone
And dig in your heels and see how it feels
To raise a little hell of your own…”

AS far as characters go, I think Tassle was the most developed and grown by the end. At the beginning, when we meet her in the cell, she’s all for taking chances, incredibly optimistic about success, and tries her hardest to make plans to help everyone. But things just keep going downhill for her, from her capture by the rats to the death of her friends to the betrayal of Ulrick and Silus; and after it all, Tassle seems to have had enough of chances and grand schemes, and just wants to save her friends. Her death post, I thought, was very effective, as it symbolizes the last of the true power figures going down, and yet she still maintains a heroicness about it that makes it memorable. 

Brooga Delfan

“…And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last…”

There quite simply is no way to put into words how much Brooga impressed me, but I’ll try. At the beginning of the contest, there was a discussion about the roles of female characters in these stories, and I said that the kind of female character that I admired the most wasn’t one who kicked the baddies around, or one who simply one upped everyone in everything, but one who could be strong by character alone; one who didn’t necessarily fight the villain’s directly, but was every bit a strong presence as the one who did. The moment that made it all worth it was when Brooga stopped Tassle from getting herself killed, because it displayed that strength of character and that Brooga is very much a sturdy female character. Secondly, major credit is due to you if for nothing else than not only choosing to write a mole, but writing an entertaining mole at that. Moles are often overlooked by writers because they’re not the most physically attractive, or their accents are hard to write, or they can’t be the cunning warriors everyone loves. But you took this cast away role and you made it your own, moulded it into the enjoyably optimistic Brooga, and came in third with it. My hat is off to you, Brooga.

Cricket Argyll

“The day I was born, the nurses all gathered ‘round
To gaze in wide wonder at the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up, said “Leave this one alone.”
She could tell right away that I was bad to the bone…”

It amuses me, in retrospect, that when I first read Cricket’s top thirty application, that I shuddered, convinced that I would dislike her; because how could a child be an interesting character, right? And as weeks went by, I not only did enjoy Cricket, I eagerly looked forward to each new post by the malicious rat-maid. You always kept me on my toes, never quite knowing what Cricket was going to next. I thought there was no way you could top her attempt to drown the slaves, and then you blow me away by having her order the mass execution of the crew. She was such a unique character, like Brooga, because you did something that, to my knowledge, no one else had really tried. You took a gamble by throwing against the norm, and not only did it work, it won you the well earned rank of second in this Redventure. Congratulations!

Ulrick Hammerpaw

“…Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spat it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way…”

Whether he wanted to be or not, Ulrick is the hero of the story now, make no mistake. What made the badger such a good addition was that you knew how to keep him balanced perfectly: adding in his selfishness without over indulging in self pity; giving a reason for his sullen attitude without pouring out angst; making him the muscle and tough guy, but not having him mindlessly beating everything he saw. He was so wonderfully complex that you couldn’t help but enjoy him. And like the others in the top three, it was a different take on what could have been an archetype character; the idea of a selfish badger who quite simply didn’t want to be the big hero was a fantastic notion. I was never a big believer in neutral characters before reading this, but Ulrick made a believer out of me that there can be enjoyable grey characters. You, sir, are number one for a reason, and I applaud you

I am the game, and I want to play

Brooga Delfan

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2008, 01:43:31 AM »
Aww, thanks, Stonewall. You've no idea how much your words mean to me. Made my night. Or morning, rather, as I've been stupid and stayed up incredibly late. But that doesn't matter, really, as it would've made my whole day anyways. *grin*
Bo hurr.

Anton Clayworth

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2008, 11:51:00 AM »
Thank you for that final review, Stonewall. Plastered a silly grin on my face for at least a minute. By the way, did you write all those clever, little rhymes?

Silus

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2008, 01:56:26 PM »
Stonewall, I'm very thankful for your reviews and glad that you enjoyed my character.  Silus was my experiment of sorts:  my first evil character, my first post-immaturity (for myself in terms of cliches, god-moding, deux ex machina, etc.) character, and I regret that circumstances led me to resign because with Silus, I never had a clear goal in mind and as each week developed I surprised myself.  Kelsey's death happened literally as I wrote it, and I had some ideas for him to grow and #### a bit (including with his otter), but life's life and Silus had to die.  I still haven't decided if Silus was sane or not :D (more that he was).  Perhaps my biggest relief was that I managed to write posts that received criticism on the character more so than the actual writing style.  I hated my writing style before this, and this contest was an experiment with that as well, and although I saw no one shouting for joy over, I think the mob with pitchforks didn't notice it either.





Business advice:  a bird in paw is not worth two in the bush; the held bird should be dead, the bushed two should be dying.

Cricket Argyll

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2008, 04:02:10 PM »
Stonewall, I think your sentiments about Cricket are similar to mine. Cricket was my least favorite of the apps I sent in. I didn't even vote for her in the 30.XD In the first week I was convinced I was going to be the first voted out and I continued to think I would be voted out next up until Week 3 when I had Cricket sabotage the raft with one of the audience favorites, Tassle. Instead of the backlash I expected, there was praise. I have come to enjoy writing Cricket over the several months and I suppose the bratty ratty will always hold a place in my heart, even if she doesn't care. Thanks so much for sticking with us through the good times and bad, Stonewall. You're the best sort of audience member we could ever hope for! n_n

Oh, and Anton, those're song lyrics. I absolutely love that Cricket's theme is "Bad to the Bone". *evil grin*
« Last Edit: July 24, 2008, 04:04:08 PM by Cricket Argyll »
*crickets chirruping*

Stonewall

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2008, 07:30:11 PM »

Thank you for that final review, Stonewall. Plastered a silly grin on my face for at least a minute. By the way, did you write all those clever, little rhymes?
Sadly, no. They're each taken from a differeent song. Early on in the contest, I wanted to match a song to each character, and I finally got the chance to use them. Incase you're interested, here are the tunes I chose

Peter: White Rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane
Shelby: Ruby Tuesday, by the Rolling Stones
Harold: I Want it All, by Queen
Anton: Incense and Peppermint, by Strawberry Alarm Clock
Ashira: Heartbreaker, by Pat Benatar
Silus: Rock You Like  A Hurricane, by the Scorpions
Tassle: Raise a Little Hell, by Trooper
Brooga: Stairway to Heaven, by Led Zeppelin
Cricket: Bad to the Bone, by George Thorogood
Ulrick: My Way, by Frank Sinatra
« Last Edit: July 24, 2008, 07:37:17 PM by Stonewall »
I am the game, and I want to play

Silus

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2008, 10:54:08 PM »
Ha ha ha!  I was matched with one of the best rock songs ever!  *listens to it*
Business advice:  a bird in paw is not worth two in the bush; the held bird should be dead, the bushed two should be dying.

Ulrick Hammerpaw

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2008, 01:08:45 AM »
Stonewall, thanks so much for those closing thoughts! You've also given me a large grin (something I think my work colleagues are about to ask me about... :P )

I'd like to say well done to all the authors, because I don't think we had a weak cahracter amoung them. Sure some fell by the wayside early on, but the characters were there. I personally don't think Ulrick would have been half as fun to write without those other great characters to bounce off of!

Also, good choice for his song!

*hums*
Avatar character portraits:

The Baron (Terrouge) by Geo Holms
Vladimir Ullyanov (Vulpine Imperium) by Therin
Ulrick Hammerpaw (RedVenture 4) by Cricket
Sootpaws (Midnight Mossflower) by Lady Tara Starblade
Hector Fotheringdale (Questors Bold V) by Kyrahlynn

Ashira

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #8 on: July 25, 2008, 04:58:51 PM »
I think I may be a little late, but thanks for the kinds words Stonewall.  I'm so happy that I was able to help make the story that much more enjoyable.  You were a great and faithful reviewer.  It was a pleasure to write for yours, and everyone else's, entertainment.

I thought I had recognized Ashira's lyrics.  And I was right.

Anton Clayworth

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Re: Last Rights
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2008, 09:41:21 PM »
Ah, what an awesome song. It really does fit him.  ;D