Careful With That Axe, Eugene.

[Rath the Whirlwind]

?I can help.?

The cook, a rotund ferret, glared.  ?Aye, ?m sure y?can,? he quipped, looking the warrior up and down.

Rath peered past the hostile chef into the hut, inhaling the tantalizing odors exhaled from within.  Every second or so, he could catch a blink of a weasel running about inside.  There was its tail, as it scurried out of sight, and then again he caught a glimpse of a tray of something steaming clutched in rag-wrapped paws.

?Well.? The rounder ferret simply sniffed.  ?If I need anything chopped to pieces, then I?ll let you know.?  With that, he pivoted and waddled back into the hut.  Immediately, there was the sound of pottery shattering and the rest was all but drowned out by the cook?s yelling at his assistant.  Could he do anything right?  Just what was he good for, anyway?

Rath drew back, the jealousy bubbling inside from earlier all but dissipating.  ?Huh, wouldn?t wanna work for that ?un anyway,? he murmured, trudging away.

Rath spotted a coconut palm a fair distance from the main activity of their oasis and plunked himself down on the sand beneath.  Leaning against the trunk, the ferret watched the comings and goings of their new camp.

It was infuriating; he was doing those fools a favor by offering to assist them, and he was tired of being talked down to like a novice.  He narrowed his good eye at the hut that had been dubbed the infirmary, and growled.  See if I ever try ?n help them again. He knew everything there was to know about slicing a beast to bits, so he'd imagined it would only be a short step to sewing them up again.  But there was nothing for it and he was left to himself, bored and nursing a grudge against at least everything ever.

Realizing how thirsty he was, the ferret levered himself to his paws with his axe and was about to walk off when he remembered something.  Scanning the area around him, he then removed the small drawstring pouch from his bag and inspected it with a wary eye.

Keane?s Balm. It wasn?t as if there was anything better for him to do, and he was beginning to grow curious about the stuff.

Opening the bag, the ferret took a tentative sniff and his head jerked back instinctively.  ?Phaw!?  It wasn?t what he would call a bad scent, but very strong.  It overpowered his nostrils and very quickly moved on to deal a finishing blow to his sinuses, eventually leaving him rubbing at his left eye.

Rath paused, muscles stiff with apprehension.  Nothing.  Drawing the pouch closed, he attached it to his belt once more and padded off to find some water.

As the pool drew into sight, the ferret grew more and more aware of his own heart underneath his fur, thrumming against his ribs like a caged bird.  Blinking, the ferret glanced around him and saw that everything was surrounded in a fiery corona, a halo of brilliant color all shifting and shimmering and beckoning and exciting! And the smells!  The ferret inhaled and shivered at the influx of scents, foreign and magnificent, that he had never thought to pay attention to before.

?allo!  Wotcher doin?, Scars??

Rath practically jumped a foot in the air.  He whipped around, nearly tripping over his axe in the process, to see the female stoat he had helped earlier staring inquisitively at him.  He waved a shaking paw.  ?Oh, hi!  Revel!  Doing?  Oh, just gettin? some water,? he gushed, previous words trampled over in the rush of new ones escaping his mouth.  And then he noticed he was still waving and put his paw down.   

?Oh, aye,? the stoat raised a curious whiskerbrow.  ?I could use some water m'self.  Noggin 'urts somethin? awful. No thanks to that babblin' birdsong 'og."  The stoat suddenly looked over her shoulder, as if her words might have summoned the skeletal hedgehog. Satisfied that nothing of the sort had happened, she grinned at Rath. ?And it looks to me as if yer...?  She blinked, suddenly looking beyond Rath to somewhere behind him.  ?Fancy! Lookit that!?

Rath turned, although it was really more leap than necessary.  ?What what??

?Over there!  ?neath that tree.?

The ferret?s eyes followed the length of Revel?s arm out into the distance like an arrow until it came to rest quivering on? ?A coconut?? Had he been more lucid, the ferret probably would have been happy he hadn?t still been resting beneath the tree, but the large, fuzzy fruit was too compelling for anything else to possibly matter.  He?d heard about them from sailors and corsairs passing through town, and eyed the ones in the market covetously, but until this moment had never had the chance to even hold one.

The stoat scratched her head. ?Ain?t never eaten one of those afore.  Wunner if'n it tastes better'n it looks??

The ferret shivered with an almost unbearable giddiness that twisted his insides.  A particularly toothy smile etched a path across his face.  ?Well, why don?t we find out??

--

Several moments later and the two mustelids were resting a safe distance from the tree, spattered from ears to tail with bits of shell, coconut milk, and fruit, and dooking madly.

?Wikky-shivers, mate!? The stoat giggled, licking bits of the stuff from her claw-tips.  ?That was a good strike there!?

The ferret chuffed, trying to figure out whether the tingling in his paws was from excitement or reverberation from the diabolic strokes needed to split such a monstrous husk. ?Nearly as good as splittin? a beast?s head.?

?Oh, aye!?  Revel?s eyes were wide with sincerity.  ?You gotta strike it just so, though, or it won?t work right.?

?You gets a good swing,? Rath?s eye slit as he pantomimed the action.  ?And then you crack the skull wide open; Chirack!?  He nearly saw the exclamation turn to a bloody mist and if he tried, he could even inhale the musky scent.  It looked as if Revel could as well, judging by her expression.

The stoat clapped her paws with glee.  ?Yes, yes!  And then th'brains are ready for eatin?!?

?Yes!?  Rath?s mind caught up.  ?Wait, what??

?Oh, well,? Revel sifted a pawful of sand through her claws as she explained.  ?They?re not just ready yet, of course.  You gotta cook ?em just right, otherwise it?s all mucky."

Rath blinked.  And then blinked some more.  He quirked his head, trying to figure out what was so wrong with that statement when it struck him.  ?? I ain?t never had brain afore.  Is it good??

The stoat offered the sagest of nods.  "Hm. I like th'meat parts better, really. But then, I only 'ad it once and I made it mucky by accident. I got sent away afore I could try 'is parents."

?Oh,? Rath murmured, tracing an 'x' in the sand before looking up, his good eye berry-bright.  ?What say we try to make it proper tonight, then?  With one o? th?slaves, I mean.?  He snorted.  ?Ain?t like they?re useful fer anything else now there?s nothing to row.?

Now it was the stoat?s turn to blink.  And then she smiled a smile that would have probably frightened off all but the most courageous of fighters.  ?Oooh!  That?d be lovely.  Only??  paws on her hips, Revel took on a serious tone.  ?I?ve gotta be th?one cookin?.  An' we ought to take one of th'ones that doesn't think."  She sighed, popping a bit of fruit into her mouth.  ?Only, now I don't know which sorts can think an' which sorts don't... stupid Pine confused me. Maybe an otter?"

The ferret opened his mouth when a shout from further away caught his attention.  Rath blinked, flicking a chunk of coconut from his whiskers as he stood up to see who was calling him.  A weasel waved him over.  ?Oy!  Cap?n wants yer for a scoutin? party, ferret!  Quick, now!?

Rath bristled; he was rather getting tired of being ordered about.  But at least he had something to do.  Hefting the axe over one shoulder, he nodded to the stoat still seated on the ground before running off.

--

The effects of the balm wore off soon after the patrol began.  It was as if a heavy fog lifted, and with it was a relief and a vague sort of longing that lingered for a moment only to vanish, leaving Rath clear of mind and focused on his mission.  The ferret moved his head this way and that to get a perfect picture of his surroundings.  On one side of the camp was desert, but as the group moved around the other end he could hear the booming battle cry of a waterfall as it rushed to attack the boulders below in a never-ending test of strength.

Just as the party was about to make it back to camp, they noticed movement coming from the waterfall.  Stepping forward, the warrior gripped his axe.  Perhaps it was that lizard, Medjool?  He?d heard about that beast, but had never actually seen one of his kind before.

The figures came into view and Rath bristled.  Of all the beasts he?d expected to find in this desert?

He shook his head.  He hadn?t been expecting anybeast at all, so although the woodlanders were bothersome, it wasn?t really any more surprising than anything else.

The ferret didn?t know what to make of the situation.  It was a tattered, sorry looking band of beasts that stood there, staring at the corsairs, and yet, their first move was to rush in and attack.  Amidst the consternation, Rath loped across the sand toward a ragged looking squirrel and hare, a growl building in his throat.  The ferret snorted looking down at the bedraggled creatures, who drew their weapons; mere kindling.  ?I don?t know who you lot are,? he rumbled, hefting his axe. ?But get in the way and I?ll kill you.?

?Och, ye big lummox!? The squirrel waved his own weapon, an annoying grin planted on his face.  ?Ye?ll regret challengin? Captain??

With alarming speed, a mouse with a bushy tail that didn?t fit her at all bounded forward and set herself in between Rath and the woodlanders, effectively cutting off the squirrel mid-boast.  ?Sailpaw, Giddy; get out of here,? she growled.  The maid looked half-drowned, and yet she glared up at the larger creature in front of her.

This time, there was no bandying of taunts or threats. The mouse-creature?s stood with her weight shifted and her face devoid of fear as she looked up at her enemy, scanning him.  So.  A little warrior. The ferret turned his head and returned the courtesy, but only for a moment.

With a fearsome growl, the larger warrior launched himself forward.  His paws tread the sand with ease, and for a moment he saw the background shift and morph into the fighting pit with its glorious crowd and blood-spattered walls.  And there, standing before him, was just another low-life trying to make a name for herself.

To her credit, the mouse-beast stayed her ground, paw hovering just above a sheath at her side.  Rath allowed himself a rare grin as he swept his axe, and he could already hear the wondrous crack that knee bones made when they splintered just so.

At the last possible moment, the mouse rolled out of harm?s way, landing on all fours in the sand.  Momentum sent Rath roaring past, and he just managed to whip around and fend off a thrust from the mouse?s dirk, snarling as he beat the smaller weapon aside with the edge of his axe.

The mouse attempted pushing back against the axe blade, and Rath sneered at the pitiful attempt.  Suddenly, the smaller combatant dropped down, forcing Rath to stagger, and giving the mouse ample time to slash at his footpaw.  The larger warrior grunted and sliced downward, but the mouse had darted to his right, beyond his field of vision, and he barely managed to parry a glancing blow to his side.  Swinging the blade in a countering arc, he caught the mouse in the left arm, and brought the axe down in a chopping swipe as she winced.  The strike only managed to sheer a clump of fur from the mouse?s tail and Rath snarled; it had appeared further away.

All across the sands, the battle raged.  Rath drove in like his namesake, slashing, slicing, and sweeping with dizzying speed, but the strange mouse creature was faster still, jumping about in the most infuriating manner.  With every blow, the ferret imagined the ways in which his foe would die, each more gruesome than the last: Sliced clean through. She dodged, falling into the sand. Stomach split open. She jumped backward, landing nimbly.  Beheaded. Another dodge.  And another.

His eye narrowed to a sheer slit, the ferret bulled in with a vicious swing and this time, the mouse didn't manage to avoid the blast.  She screamed, and light glinted off the blade of her dirk as it flew through the air before burying itself in the sand.  Rath, eyes alight with fevered glee, tripped his opponent with an expert flick of the axe, and then kicked her when she was down, leaving the mouse sobbing for breath.

Just as the ferret raised his axe for a fatal blow, the smaller warrior snatched a pawful of sand and flung it at her enemy's face.   

The axe blade made a piff as it fell harmlessly into the sand.  Its owner howled and staggered about, rubbing at his eye.  Engulfed in agony, the ferret barely noticed the combined war cries and the pounding of a larger number of paws against the sand.  Forcing the eye open, he saw through bleary vision that the only traces of his combatant were spots of blood flecked about the sand in the opposite direction; she?d fled.

Rath snarled. Bloody, ?Gates-blasted coward!

His attention was captured by the new group of beasts who had poured into the clearing.  A one-eyed mouse appeared to be at the head, with a mole at her side.  The ferret picked up his axe and turned to the beasts at his side, remembering that he wasn?t the only one there after all.

?Try ?n hold them back!?  Captain Matukhana roared.  And Rath was only too glad to oblige.

He had been cheated out of his victory by one woodlander, and he would give the rest of them no quarter.