Blindness

[Rousseau]

"Leave it up to me."
---
Rousseau had never been a beast to deny the opportunity of having a full night?s rest, and so, when Alan ordered her to catch up on needed sleep, the rattess naturally leapt at the chance drifting into unconsciousness. For once though, she lay in her bed in the dark, staring at the ceiling and listening to the soft snoring of Mirdros close by, unable to slumber. For the first hour she tossed and turned under the blankets, trying to shut out the screams of the wounded beasts from the battle.  

But now, as the second hour passed, she lay motionless and thought of Willump. The weasel could have been in a group just a few yards away and, yet, Alan had stopped her.  Rousseau at first cursed the mink?s name but, as the minutes ticked by, she realized that he had saved her life, as well as any prisoner she might have rescued alone.  Had he not intervened, she and the other newly-freed prisoners would have quickly been routed by the enemy, and, instead of her saving her friend, he would have died.  

Mirdros, lying upon a bed made out of piled up clothing, snored gently and mumbled things in his sleep. Rousseau had been pleased to learn that the child was devoid of scratches or scrapes, especially having been under Clutus? care. The rattess admired him.  Even though he was being held as a prisoner and was away from his father, the youngster still had no trouble staying strong in the situation, sleeping so soundly as if he were still in his tribe?s camp.  And yet she, a grown adult, sat wide awake, scared as if she were the one being held prisoner.

?Vulpuz knows we?ll get another chance!?

Rousseau hadn?t thought much of it, but she knew that that was the first moment that she had actually trusted Alan with anything he had said.  She knew the mink was right.  And when she got what he promised, she would repay Morleo the only way she knew how.

Smiling, she yawned. Mirdros? soft breathing was finally taking its toll on the corsair, and her eyelid slowly slid closed.  

-.-.-

?I?m bored.?

?Get over it.? Rousseau said, dabbing her paintbrush lightly onto a sheet of canvas.  The rattess smiled.  For the last five days, she had had trouble both simply getting the opportunity of putting brush to canvas but also having any sort of idea as to what she wanted to paint.  In the end, the rattess believed it was just a good night?s rest that she needed to clear her head and get some work done.

The particular image she was making now was of the forest glade at the end of Rexim?s tunnel.  

?What are you doing?? Mirdros asked, trying to glance over her shoulder.

?Paintin?.?

?Can I try??

?No.?

The child crossed his arms and pouted. ?But??

Knowing it was pointless to argue with a child, Rousseau sighed.  She beckoned with her paw for Mirdros to come to her.  She dipped her brush lightly into an olive mixture she had made with a grey and green.  She gave it to the tiny rat. ?Alright, hold it carefully at the end of it, like this.? She demonstrated with her paw. ?An? I want ya t? make little lines right here fer the grass.  See how I did it right ?ere??

Mirdros nodded and grasped the brush at the end how she had instructed.  He lightly added a small, ivory line where she pointed to.  There wasn?t much harm in letting the child add some of the less detailed blades of grass at the bank of the river, Rousseau decided.  The odds of him messing anything up were unlikely.

?Not bad,? Rousseau said.

Mirdros grinned, adding a second line near the first he had made.

?Ya like that??

The child nodded, adding a third and fourth.

Rousseau looked around until she found her sketchbook, ripping out one of its blank yellowed pages.  She grabbed a short pencil off of her easel and handed it and the blank page to Mirdros.

?That should entertain ya fer a bit. Drawin?s only sort o? different from paintin?. Now go sit down an? shut up, will ya?? Rousseau said.  

Mirdros happily padded over back to his perch on her bed and began pondering what he would create on the blank page.

Rousseau turned back to her work and finished what Mirdros started.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

?Door?s unlocked. Wot d? ya want, featherbag?? Rousseau called. ?I?m busy.?

The comment earned her a harrumph from the avian. ?The door.?

Rousseau sighed and put her brush into a tin of water, remembering the issues he had with doors, and opened it for the bird. ?Aye??

?I wish to speak with you, Rousseau,? he said, hobbling in and shoving his way through the mass of clutter on the floor.  

The rattess waved her paw for him to continue.

?I am much concerned for your safety, Rousseau,? the owl started, ruffling his burnt breast feathers. ?As much as it pains me to say, I believe I speak the truth when I say you have a tendency to act rather careless and rash in certain situations.?

Rousseau blinked. ?Wot d? ya mean??

?I?ve overheard from some of the soldiers that you managed to rescue some of your crewbeasts and I believe that was foolish of you.?

?Alright, if leavin? my beasts t? die is smart, I?d gladly be a fool, Clutus,? Rousseau replied.

?Not what I meant in the slightest.  I applaud you in your success, but the act of it was simply idiotic,? Clutus clarified. ?What if you had brought attention to yourself or stayed for too long? You would not have just caused your own demise but also that of Alan?s. This moronic decision could have very well cost us our mission and I?m worried for your safety.?

Rousseau thought for a moment and narrowed her gaze. ?Are ya actually worried about me?  Or are ya jest worried ya won?t get yer bloody paintin?s if I die?? she spat.  The more he talked, the more the beast reminded her of King Reginald. ?If yer still expectin? those paintin?s then yer the one with a foolish notion! I?ve got more important things t? do than paint a portrait o? the ?great an? magnificent? Clutus.?

?Exactly. And yet, you?re painting pictures of meadows by the river. If you?re going to waste time, why don?t you waste it on something more worthy of your talents??

Rousseau took a glance out the window. ?Go find someplace high an? practice yer flyin?.? She turned to Mirdros. ?By now yer sure t? be hungry. Here?s yer chance if ya want some lunch.?

?Don?t avoid the subject.  Please, Rousseau.? The rattess felt the bird?s wing touch her shoulder as if he were trying to grasp it. ?I?m worried that if another battle erupts soon, your impulsiveness will lead to your death.  Rousseau, I don?t wish for you to die is all.?

Rousseau drew her sword and pointed it at where the rattess speculated was Clutus? neck. ?I kin take care o? myself, I already ?ave fer a while, so ya don?t need t? watch over me like yer me mum.?

?I?m just curious, Rousseau. If you can take care of yourself so well, how did your eye come to be in that condition??

Rousseau was silent.

?I?ll reiterate, what happened to your eye??

The haunting image of a knife tearing through the jelly-like flesh of her eye came to her head, blood spilling out from the wound like a river.  She blinked, reminding herself that it wasn?t real. ?I made a mistake is all. One I won?t make again,? Rousseau answered. She turned back to Mirdros who stared back at her blankly. ?Ya hungry or what??

He nodded. Grabbing up his paper and pencil the child got up from his perch and followed after the rattess.

?I?ll be seein? ya, Clutus,? Rousseau said, leaving the bird behind her.

-.-.-

Rousseau walked slowly, as to match pace with Mirdros, down the corridors of Castle Kotir.  After getting the rat child fed without any sort of threats against him from other beasts, the rattess figured that the general war craze had died down from the early morning battle.  Still, she moved carefully through the halls with her paw resting on the hilt of her cutlass, just in case some lunatic rushed from a corner and tried to gut him with a spear.

The rattess had thought about leaving him with Calder for the time being, but decided against it, telling the cook instead to try and find the remaining members of her crew who weren?t dead or unable to fight and summon them all to the great hall.  Rousseau walked quietly, the only sounds being the constant thrumming of her and Mirdros? paws against the smooth sandstone.  This was the moment she had been waiting for.  Her crew rescued, it was time to find a way to convince her crew that she could be a good leader if they would only follow her and trust her.

She sighed.

Again, it was easier said than done, but the rattess hoped that with her rescue of the prisoners it would at least give her some credibility.

Rousseau arrived at the great hall sullenly.  Pushing her way through the opened double doors, she looked around her.  The huge room looked almost completely different when it wasn?t plagued by the clashing colors of maiden?s ballroom gowns and a surge of beasts crowding it.  The place was rather magnificent in her opinion, with the red and black colors of Kotir, intermingled with shining gold, decorating the ceiling and stone columns.  Torches hung along the walls, giving the room a pale orange glaw that cast black shadows across the spotless white tablecloths.  And in the center of it all was her crew, tapping their footpaws impatiently as they waited.

Rousseau turned to Mirdros. ?Go find someplace t? sit, an? be quiet.  Ya got that paper I gave ya??

He nodded.

?Good.  That should keep ya occupied.  This hopefully won?t take long.? Rousseau left the child?s side and moved to where her crew waited, sliding in among them.

?Took ya long enough.?

?Aye, Cal said ya wanted t? talk t? us, but ya don?t seem t? be in no hurry.?

Rousseau ignored the comments, leaning against a round table where everybeast could see her.  Silently, she counted each beast.  Twenty-four she counted. ?Cal, were there any deaths??

?None, Rouss,? the cook answered.

The rattess both praised and cursed her luck.  She had almost wished a few had simply so sh wouldn?t have to speak to as many. ?Good,? she said. ?Now I assume ya all might be wonderin? why I called you all t? audience with me.?

?Most of us don?t bally well care,? a fox said.

?Shut up, Garrow,? Aryll?s voice sounded from the crowd.

?Well,? Rousseau continued, ignoring them, ?I?ve called you all here because?? She paused, thinking over her words.  What could she possibly say that would change their opinions of her?  It was like painting. Just as she had to think of the right color to balance a scene, she had to choose the right words. ?Ya know, I haven?t been the best captain, an? before anybeast agrees with me, I?ll jest go ahead an? say, aye, yer right.  In fact, luck is the only reason we?ve made it this far with me leadin?. We landed on the coast o? Mossflower because Will had luckily brought a compass.  We made it t? Kotir because I met a really annoyin? owl.  An? in the end, I didn?t do my work, an? nearly ruined my chance o? actually getting? an alliance set up because I was too busy trampin? through forests, kitnappin? kits, an? startin? wars.?

?So, what?cher sayin? is it?s all yer fault??

?Aye, it?s exactly wot I?m sayin?,? Rousseau answered. ?I?m lazy, incompetent, an ?as  others have pointed out t? me- impulsive.  Ya deserve a better captain than me, an?, although I don?t know how much it means now, fer that I apologize.?

Rousseau took a breath and recollected her thoughts. ?All that I want from ya is t? give me a second chance, t? give me another try at this captain thing.  I ain?t askin? fer a clean slate or fer ya t? ferget the mistakes I?ve made, I?m jest askin? that ya trust me.?

?Ha! Trust ya? Ya jest said everythin?s yer fault!?

?Aye, wot Garrow said!?

?Aye!?

Rousseau sighed.

?Aye, but, she rescued us,? Aryll argued. ?She came back an? saved us.?

?Aye she did, after she abandoned the rest of her crew in the middle of a battle! I?m afraid t? trust ?er.  I?m afraid o? what she?s gonna do next!?

?Aye, had she not even captured that rat whelp, we wouldn?t be in this situation!? somebeast agreed.

Garrow turned around and glared at Mirdros. ?Aye, he ain?t even any use t? us.  It?s not like we can get any information out of ?im.  We should just gut ?im!? The fox made to draw his sword.

The blade of Rousseau?s cutlass was pressed against the vulpine?s neck in an instant. ?That child is the only thing keepin? everybeast in this castle alive.  If ya even try an? lay a claw on ?im, I?ll personally have ya locked in the library with Kovari.? The rattess lowered her blade. ?Am I clear??

Garrow nodded. The fox harrumphed as somebeast else tried to speak. ?Why kin?t ya just step down from yer job an? give it t? somebeast else, like Aryll??

Rousseau thought for a moment. ?Ya know, I?ve had a habit o? hidin? in my cabin fer a while now, runnin? away from the things I don?t wanna do, the beasts I don?t wanna see.  I like t? run an? hide from everybeast because I?m too scared t? actually trust ?em, because the last time I trusted somebast, they said they cared about me.  The feelin? wasn?t mutual though an? when I said no, the beast put a dagger in me eye.

?The point is though, is that I was scared o? leadin? beasts, afraid t? trust any of ?em, afraid o? wot they actually thought o? me.  I told myself that I didn?t care wot anybeast said, but it was a lie.  An? so I ran an? hid, paintin? whatever I felt at the time.  But, ya know, I?m sick an? tired o? runnin? away! An? if I jest pawed over the position t? somebeast willy nilly, I?d be no more than a coward!

?I?m trustin? you beasts,? she finished. ?Kin ya do the same fer me? I want t? save Will. I kin?t do it without ya.?

There was a moment of silence among the crewbeasts, each waiting for another to come forward and say their decision.

?I will,? Calder said first. ?If only t? make ya stop cryin?. I can?t stand t? see a girl cry.?

Rousseau wiped her eye. ?Thank ya, Cal.?

Aryll was next. ?Aye, same.?

?Me too!?

?Sure, why not??

?Aye, I?ll give ya a chance!?

Rousseau was silent as each beast agreed one after the other.  She tried to hold it back, but another tear slid down her left cheek.

Garrow was silent.

?Garrow?? Rousseau asked. She paused before finishing. ?If ya won?t do it fer me, will ya do it fer Will??

Silence reigned for what seemed like an eternity as each beast awaited the fox?s answer. Each heartbeat felt like a hammer pounding against Rousseau?s chest, until finally-

?What are yer orders???

Rousseau smiled.

??captain.?