Ho! Ho! To the Bottle I Go!

[Vanessa]

 For an ottermaid whose sleep could usually be compared to that of a very heavy log, the fact that Nessa was still tossing and turning under her thick sheet in the hours following midnight was rather unusual. Perhaps it was the aftereffect of her perilous fishing expedition earlier that evening. Maybe it was the tense emotional mood that seemed to dominate the camp after the cat?s unexpected outburst and Cookie?s, no Risk?s, departure. Or maybe it was just the hard lumps of rock sticking into her back.

She didn?t quite know what to make of it all- exhausted from her swim and from crafting the makeshift pine branch shelters that now covered the small band from the worst of the cold wind, she found herself unable to react to the barrage of new facts and emotions. And yet her mind seemed unable to rest, humming like a jar full of flies, each thought buzzing around without ever merging into a coherent idea. Nessa hated it.

    Rolling silently upright, the ottermaid clutched her sheet around her for warmth and slipped out of the shelter she was sharing with Zevka and Poko into the bitingly cold night. A lump stood several paces away from the camp, illuminated by a small lantern. Gashrock.

?Cap?n Noona sent me tae take o?er the watch.?

Lying was so convenient sometimes- no bothersome questions or comments. The rattess underneath the pile of heavy blankets merely blinked and nodded.

??Bout time summone showed up.?

As Gashrock stumped off to the nearest shelter, Nessa snuggled deep inside the blankets, inhaled deeply, and extinguished the lantern with a small breath. Much better. The crisp mountain air brought her sense awake and calmed the ceaseless hum of her thoughts.

        Nyika saw (or thought she saw) ghosts. Cookie was the famous assassin that even she?d heard about in every tavern she?d ever frequented. It set her mind reeling. She?d liked Cookie, more or less. And Poko... whatever had happened between the three jills to suddenly explode into such enmity and violence, Nessa hoped she could find a way to mend it. She was just starting to consider all three of them as friends, though Zevka was by far her closest confidante and Poko felt more like the younger sister she?d never had.

      Then there was the matter of their as-yet-unclear destination. In Yew, Carrigul was always present in underlying gossip and dark tales, but its menace often faded into the mundane. Now it was real, a deadly place as close to them as Yew was far, filled with enemies. But suddenly, Nessa knew: she didn?t want to go back to Yew. She didn?t want to return to her old life of duties and rebellion without having accomplished something that would prove her worth undoubtedly to everyone. She wanted to go to Carrigul. To see a real vermin town. She wouldn't leave Zevka to go on alone if Noonahootin decided to return to Yew. After all, what tied her to her hometown now? The Guard? Because of their silly system and rules, she was forced to follow meekly while Istvan strutted about giving orders. And to add insult to injury, he was useless to the point where he needed her to save him whenever things got dangerous! No, there was nothing tying her to them. Your father....

A soft crunching sound suddenly alerted Nessa to the large feathery bulk approaching from behind her. Drat. She?d be in trouble again, if Gashrock had told Noonahootin that he had ordered her to take over the watch.

?You don?t seem to be keeping a very effective watch, Guardsbeast.?

Indeed, lost in her ruminations, Nessa?s eyes were rather more fixated on the ground besides her than at the surrounding area. But in no mood for reprimands, the ottermaid only snorted irritably without even glancing up at her captain. A single flat question slipped from her lips.

?Why??

?Why what??

If she?d been looking at Noonahootin, Nessa would have seen a rather irritated owl waiting expectantly for her to resume proper protocol.

"Why in the name o' crags did ye have to put that no-good, freakish.... oaf in command?" The heated words slipped out of her mouth like daggers.

Noonahootin scratched his neck with one talon.

"Ah. You are, of course, referring to Corporal Istvan."

Nessa simply glared.


?Aye."

"Well, he's of higher rank. I would have thought that obvious.? The owl chortled, his laughter a low series of ominous, hollow sounding hoots. It was very much unlike the lightly smiling owl, whose huge eyes were friendly and not starring at her intensely as they could. ?Istvan is a Corporal, you are a Guardsbeast. He used to be a Guardsbeast...when he was just older than you.?

She?d had enough. Nessa stood up straight in the snow, her eyes fairly smoldering at her officer.

"Nae, it's nae obvious tae me! He's nae a part o' the Guard! He doesnae want tae protect anyone, all he wants is tae sacrifice us tae his deity! An' he cannae even swim! Ah wager he couldnae fight like a Guard either!
Why didnae ye choose someone who kin do somethin' other than ramble about a hallucination who wants our blood! Why didnae ye choose..."
She trailed off, slowly becoming aware of just how much of her thoughts she was revealing to the owl. But she'd gone too far to back off now.

His unsettling amber eyes cast her a quick glance but flickered away. The owl shook his head, leaning back stiffly and sighing.

?Corporal Istvan obeys orders. He doesn't cause too much trouble with the civilians, and his dedication to the job is along the lines of remarkably firm. He served very well during the Bread Riots, as you may or may not remember. You had quite a lot to drink that evening, as I recall...? The owl trailed off, chuckling fondly at an old memory. He turned back to her shuffling along the ground awkwardly.

?Guardsbeast, Istvan is dependable. He is responsible, and has proven himself before.?

The owl's laughter seemed to burn a path to Nessa's heart, his well-intentioned words sinking into her core like so many arrows. Wasn't it what everyone thought of her? Irresponsible, lazy, addle-brained, a drunkard. And yet....

"Then why didnae ye give me a chance to prove mahself? You ne?er do, none o? ye! Ah ken what ye all think o? me, but Ah can lead! Ah can fight fer the Guard! Ah?m no? a daft brute who's loyalty doesnae even belong tae ye! Ye jus? ne?er give me a chance!"

Noonahootin peered at Vanessa then, squinting his eyes as though trying to find a spiderweb in darkness. He sat back, sighing, and reached up with two curved talons to curl the long feathers that flowed out from around his beak.

?The road had just collapsed. Beasts were dead and dying everywhere, and I couldn't find any of our own. Istvan was the first Yew Guard I had encountered in what seemed like ages, Vanessa,? the owl said quietly.

?If you had been standing side by side with Istvan when I found him, my decision would not have changed,? he said, slowly and carefully.  ?Istvan has no family, nor friends really. He had a head on his shoulders, though, and I very much doubt you would have. He leads with his mind-?

Vanessa huffed, rolling her eyes skyward

?-while you lead with your heart. To do that requires qualities you do not possess as of now. Charisma, dependability, sensitiveness... Otherwise, beasts fall from you like leaves in an autumn wind.?

The ottermaid stayed silent but her eyes still shone defiantly at the owl captain. He sighed again.

?Vanessa, ?Dear girl, you must recall that I served with your father? We donned the blue cloaks for many years side by side; many of those years were before you were born. I had been bred from stock well suited for warfare, and tamed by altruistic intentions. Your father did not have my natural gentility, but he had raw charisma and a true heart.?

The owl took a breath, and blinked one eye before the other. He shifted his wings as if reluctant, but raised his face to the moon and very firmly planted his feet. 

?The day he died, I had been flying out ahead of a tracking party, searching for an assassin whom your father had stopped from murdering Lord Aster. I came back after finishing my rounds and?? the owl swallowed lightly, blinking. ?Well, he was dying, ambushed by a gang of stoats who the assassin had paid off?the only one of the troupe left breathing. Good fellow, strong buck of a beast he was. He had this resilience about him; always made you throw one more punch, haha?.?

The owl blinked, obviously realizing that he was rambling. He cleared his throat, making a gesture as though he had been about to put his wing around the otter maid, but then thought better of it, settling to pat her shoulder lightly.
?His last words were about you, Vanessa. He asked me to keep an eye on you, and I swore I would. I told him I?d keep you on track. I have failed him so far.?

?What?s that supposed tae mean?? Vanessa spat, baring her teeth angrily at the slight. Her captain?s voice took a turn and suddenly became very snappy and competitive.

?It means, Guardsbeast, that I have clearly been negligent. You?re angry that I trusted Corporal Istvan more than you? You should be; you?re being outclassed by someone you think is a daft brute whose loyalty doesn?t even belong to me! When your father was your age, he was already a lieutenant. I should have been pushing you all these years, but instead I?ve simply let you to your own devices. You lost your ambitions when your father passed away. You used to be so eager to please him, so delightfully proud to serve in the blue alongside your pa. You?ve been destined to be a Guard your whole life, Miss Fern. Your father was the greatest soldier of our time, and had all the pluck it took to groom you to follow in his paw prints?and, one day he hoped, become Commander-in-Chief. I should have been doing more to keep you in line. If only I had kept at you, like when you were young and learning how to track, do you remember? You were on such a good path before he died??

A wave of emotions, too mixed and powerful for her to control, surged up inside Nessa, flooding her entire being. To her utter mortification, she felt hot tears running down her cheeks like rivulets.

?Stop! Leave me alone!?

?But-?

?Go away! GO 'WAY!?

Sobbing heavily, the ottermaid sprinted off into the night.

For protection against further attacks from the moles, the survivors had made camp on a large shelf of rock not far from the ice patch. It was away from trees, situated between the moutainside and a small cliff that continued down the mountain- but most importantly, the solid granite below them was foolproof armor against the tunneling guerrillas.

There, between the cliff edge and camp, Nessa lay huddled in a small natural hollow in the mountainside. Her head buried in her paws, she didn?t see the figure approaching until the lantern light fell on her face.

?Nessa??

At the marten?s low tone, Nessa glanced up, trying to muster a smile for her friend.

?Couldnae sleep either, Zevka??

The other jill set down her lantern.

?Mmmm. You alright? You haven?t been crying, have you??

Angrily, Nessa tried to dash away the tears frozen on her fur. Zevka smiled.

?I brought you something I?ve been saving since my foraging with Risk. Thought it might cheer you up.?

There was a familiar clinking sound and Nessa whirled around, unable to believe her eyes. There in Zevka?s outstretched paws, four flasks full of liquid lay gleaming and sparkling in the lantern light.

?Mead??

Zevka grinned.

?The very best.?

There was no need for further words. Nessa grabbed the marten in a bone-crushing hug, almost knocking the flasks from her paws. Zevka chuckled.

?Careful! Don?t want to break them, do we??

The ottermaid grinned back just as gleefully.

?Aye, we certainly don?t!?

They spread the blanket on the snowy rock and suddenly, it was just like the first time they?d met, back when Zevka and Mekad ran a small tavern at Yew and Nessa was a frequent visitor. Just the two of them, alternately chatting and drinking until the wee hours when everyone had left and Nessa?s officers had given up on locating her.
Apparently, Zevka was thinking the same.

?Ah, I?ve missed our fun times, Ness. We mustn't drink too much though- this is in the middle of enemy territory.?

The ottermaid nodded absentmindedly, more focused on uncorking the bottle than on her friend?s words.

The first sip tasted like divine nectar.

?Jings! Ne?er tasted better. Iffen we e?er get oot o? these blasted mountains, Zevka, Ah owe ye one.?

?Eh, you?d have done the same for me, aye? Why did that owl want to talk to you anyway??

Her good mood suddenly evaporating, Nessa took a slightly larger gulp then was necessary and stared at the sloshing liquid.

?Guard business. Here.?

The flask switched paws and the marten took a long pull.

?It was about Istvan, wasn?t it? You did seem pretty peeved at him.?

Glad to turn her mind away from leadership, responsibility, and her father, Nessa unburdened her opinion of the Corporal, cheering up greatly as she did so.

?Huh, how he even got in the Guard, Ah?ll ne?er know. An? noo he?s even turned the Cap?n tae his side. Two-faced snake that he is. No, that?s tae mild fer the mud-hearted, fork-tongued, blood-stained hypocrite. ?

?How about a self-righteous prick? He certainly is.?

The discussion was cut short as Nyika unexpectedly appeared in the small circle of lantern light. Without a word, the young wildcat crossed over, sat down, and took the bottle from besides Nessa.

Zevka glared at the wildcat; she clearly had not forgotten their earlier confrontation.

"Hey, Nyika, why don't you go find a haunted house to exorcise or something? I don't usually drink with beasts who pick on kits who just lost both parents." The marteness winced. "And get the stuffing beat out of me in the process." She snatched the bottle back and took a pull of it. "'Gates, but that ferret can throw a punch."

Nyika sighed. "Can I have a drink, please?"

Zevka moved the bottle farther out of reach. "No! I really-"

Nessa held her aching head in two paws and appealed to Zevka.

?Och, leave ?er off fer a bit, Zevka. Ah?m gettin? a headache an? Ah haven?t even started tae drink. Ye can all resume yer talks tomorer.?

Zevka looked at Nessa, looked at the bottle, and then shrugged as she passed it to Nyika

The ottermaid stopped, looking on in admiration and no little concern as the cat downed half her bottle in a single go.

?Jings! Where?d ye learn tae drink like that, lassie??

Nyika exhaled a deep breath and hiccoughed. ?I?ve had practice.?

An empty bottle later and Nessa abruptly got up, announcing to nobeast in particular.

"Ah'm starvin'."

She marched off unsteadily towards the camp, her intoxicated mind focused only on food. What luck! The food bag was just at the edge of the nearest shelter where Istvan was snoring like a bullfrog besides the bullfrog in question. Heaving the bag over her shoulder and marching back to their makeshift drinking ground was the work of a few minutes and Nessa was soon alternatively snacking on dried fish and sloshing down mead. Apparently, Nyika and Zevka had been at it while she had been gone- two bottles now lay empty and the third one was only a quarter full.

?Sae, frae what Ah gather yer some kinda seer, eh Nyika??

The wildcat stared solemnly at the mead swirling at the bottom of her flask, looking rather like a gypsy reading tea leaves.

?I shee dead beashts.?

She let the words hang mysteriously for a second then waved her paws in a spooky manner. "Oooh!"
The wildcat giggled, and her humor was contagious. Nessa found herself giggling right alongside with her.

"So Nyika, wot drags ye all th' way out here?"

Nyika nodded to the pine marten, who was in the middle of taking a swig.

"Aye, but ye must have been doing summat before et all."

"Oh." Nyika paused, thinking. "I guesh you could say I'm on a path t' enlightenment."

Nessa frowned. "Wot d'ye mean bah that?"

"Well, I left my tribe to find myshelf."

"It wasnae 'cause of a lad, was it?" Nessa teased.

Nyika's face flushed.

"Oooh!" Nessa crowed. "Tell us aboot him! Was he strapping?"

"No." Nyika grinned. "He was just ... a fox."

"A fox? Give me a guid otterlad any day of the week, me mum allus said!"

Zevka had taken interest as she started to uncork the fourth bottle.

"Ha! I wonder - hic!- Nessa, how many jacks are pining away at their windowsills while you're out here??

Blast that marten! She was holding the bottle just far enough so Nessa couldn?t reach it, waiting for an answer to her question.

?Er... None that Ah kin think of. Ah gave ?em all sae much bruises they ran away. Haha...?

She sighed with relief as Zevka passed the flask over- the marten however, wasn?t finished. She was doing a passable imitation of a starstruck male.

"Oh Nessa...come back to me, mah sweet! My life withoot ye is like...like hotroot soup without shrimp...or...an unkeelhauled bowspirit!"
 
Nessa winced and blushed simultaneously.

Zevka fluttered her eyelashes at the otter. "Tonight, mah heart is growin' lahk a big frog's gullet! Yer eyes are like--"

?Ah?ll talk, Ah?ll talk! Just put a cork in that ridiculous gibberish!?

Nessa took another swallow first to fortify herself, feeling it slide like liquid fire down her throat.

?Weel, if ye must know... Ah did spend a wee bit o? time with one fellow- name o? Chan Blackrudder. Ridiculous name, iffen ye ask me, his rudder was brown as treebark. Dinnae last long though. Got himself arrested... bah the Guard.?

Zevka winced. "Grah. Although I guess he didn't get enough love as a kit, if his parents didn't even get his name right. Hic, hic!"

?Mmmm. Weel noo, what aboot all the bonny lads pinin? for their pine, hmmm??

Her tone was challenging- this was when the tables were turned.

Scat, the look on Zevka?s face said rather clearly.
"Well, uh...I mean, I've been very busy! And, and I haven't even been in town that long, you know! But I'll get right on that, uh, soon! At least here I don't have to ask every pine marten I meet if he's related to me!""

Taking advantage of the fact that Zevka had forgotten about her bottle, Nessa swigged again.
You?ve ne?er gotten sae drunk before, Nessa, stop et now. Ye need yer wits aboot ye!  The small inner voice was whispering again. She drowned it in a quaff of alcohol and leaned back into the pleasant humming. This was payback time.

?Oooooh, aye, Ah forgot aboot Mekad. Mah ap'ogies.?

Zevka suddenly looked downright murderous- Nyika only swayed, looking vaguely puzzled.

?Zevka?s friend??

?Friend? Why, that would be Zevka?s bonny han?shome wildcat, Mekad! Grew oop together, went tae school taegether, ?tis quite romantic really!?

?Ah, yesh.?

The wildcat nodded with a smile and turned back to her flagon; Nessa was about to continue extrapolating on the subject when she found herself in a rather neat headlock.

?Don?t you dare say another word!?

The humming had entirely taken over her brain, thoughts fleeing like wisps of clouds. Lazily, she flopped forward, flipping the marten over her head and unto the ground. Grinning like a lunatic, Nessa spread both paws in a wrestler?s grip.

?Yer on!?

Seconds later, the marten and the otter had both arms locked together, swaying this way and that around the wildcat who seemed utterly fascinated by the display. Somehow both beasts' balance felt flawless as they staggered, wobbled, and lurched their way around the lantern, unable to throw the other to the ground. Nessa giggled. It was amazing really, like they were locked in a dance in which it was was impossible to fall.

?Zevka, we?re flooooating! Haha- Ooopmh!?

Both beasts lay flat on their backs on the rocky ground. The world seemed to spin, revolving around the half-full flagon that had conveniently fallen besides the ottermaid?s paw. She downed the remainder in a single gulp and the warmth spread through completely. She watched herself stumble upright like her body wasn?t her own anymore, observing passively as the otter below started on a loud and utterly incoherent rendition of a past tavern fight, her only audience a glazed-eyed marten and a tipsy wildcat.

?Sae, the saucy blighter wuz callin? me names, ye ken? Sae Ah gave ?im a braw slap tae remember me bah. Then Ah punch ?im! Like so!?

Nessa kept watching, utterly detached, as her body attacked the closest thing at hand- the large, bulky food sack.


?An? then ?e had the nerve tae tae grab me kilt! An? ye know wot Ah did??

The otter grabbed the sack with both paws, lifting it off the ground, her eyes completely glazed over.

?Ah grabbed ?im- like this- an? threw ?im, straight oot the window!?

Loose and relaxed from all the alcohol, Nessa?s body acted like a spring as she flipped on her back, sending the bag flying overhead with the impetus of all four paws. It disappeared down the nearby cliff face and Nessa waved stupidly at it. 


?G?bye!?

There was sudden dead silence.

Far below, the small group?s only food supply bounced off the cliff, spilling dried fish and travel rations everywhere, as it rolled off a much steeper mountain slope and disappeared into the darkness far below.

Nessa fainted.