Social Darwinism

[Cricket Argyll]

?Well, something of a pickle we?re in here,? Jonas sighed as the silence after Meanystripe?s arrival stretched to an uncomfortable length.

?You have a gift for understatement, vermin,? the badger observed quietly.

?Oh, Daddy,? Dyera finally spoke coherently. ?It was terrible! They kept making me eat dead rats. I?ve gotten so fat! What will the Marquis? son think of me n--?

?Boohoo!? Cricket stuck out her tongue. ?What some stuffy noble thinks o?yer figure?s the least o?yer worries, princess.? The young rat was still more than a little shaken after the encounter with the wolves and the Devourer, but being able to pick on a creature even weaker than herself calmed her. At least?at least I ain?t a jibberin? mess. An? I got t?bite that smoosh-faced fox with the bow! Chah! Teach her t?point that thing at me.

Mother was a fierce fighter, but Cricket?s size and speed only frustrated the wolf?s attempts to hit her. Meanystripe had encountered the same problem. It was easy enough to break the child once one caught hold of her, but the catching was the problem.

?Bo hurr,? Brooga?s eyes brimmed with tears, but the mole would not let them fall. ?Miz Tassle an? Maister Roger be gone. Taked boi that gurt evil sea beastie. We?m ?ave t?be strong an? send it back to ee depths fer thurr sakes.?

?Yes,? Jonas agreed, ?and it would be troublesome to have it destroy our rescue ship.?

?What?! There really is one comin??? Cricket demanded.

?Hmph. Typical,? Ulrick muttered. ?You didn?t bother telling her, I see.?

?I don?t tell the help every little detail, Mr. Hammerpaw,? the marten replied. ?It only complicates matters. But yes, Ms. Argyll, there is a ship coming and if my calculations are right, it should be arriving sometime within the next week. Perhaps even sooner if the winds are fair and the seas fine.

?I am not certain the extent of this creature?s territory, though, so the ship may be in danger even now. We must destroy it or rescue will most assuredly be forsaken by the Empire, no matter what my father wishes. Two lost ships are not worth the price of one beast?s head.?

?Hurr, ?ow c?n we destroy ee beastie, though?? Brooga wondered aloud. ?It seems almost impossible t?Oi.?

?I?ve an idea about that,? Jonas stroked the fur on his chin thoughtfully. ?I read about such a creature not long before setting forth on this voyage. I wanted to familiarize myself with sea myths and beasts of legend should anything happen. There were numerous accounts of a creature called ?Kraken? in these waters. A great squid that devoured whole ships and their crews. There was one story?and a ?story? it was, certainly, with all the fantastic nonsense added, told of one crew that was able to fend off the beast by targeting its eyes with arrows and other long-range weapons. Behind the eyes, it is said the creature?s brain may be found and they are the only soft spots on the thing?s thick hide.?

?Where are the eyes, though, Daddy? I didn?t see any when it was attacking us.? Cheh?neither did I, come t?think o?it. In all the confusion, though, the rat had not been paying particular attention to anything save the massive tentacles waving all over the place.

?Ay, there?s the rub, my dear one!? the marten nodded. ?The eyes are located just behind the tentacles on the beast?s long body. So, one must overcome the fangs of the snake before striking off its head, as it were.?

?Then it?s impossible t?kill it,? Cricket sulked.

?You give up easily, vermin,? Meanystripe rumbled.

?At least I try in the first place,? the little rat shot back.

?What was that?!? Dyera squeaked.

Discussion and arguments were forgotten when there was a sudden skittering of rocks down the corridor. The five beasts moved as one. Cricket drew Cookie?s ladle, Ulrick drew himself up, Brooga raised her digging claws and the two pine martens moved to the side of the cavern where the trio of fighters backed up to protect them. Jist what we need?! Cricket growled. One battle was fine for a day. Two was manageable. Three was pushing it. This would make number five by the ratmaid?s count if whatever it was happened to be hostile. They really did not have time for this sort of thing, either. The rescue ship could be arriving any day now and the nasty fish monster had to be dealt with if they wanted that vessel to survive.

?Daddy, I?m scared,? Dyera whimpered. Cricket kicked backward and was rewarded with the feel of a leg and a satisfying yelp.

?Tell yer brat t?shut her fat gob, Doc!? the young vermin hissed without looking back.

?You vile little creature!? Dyera began. ?Where do you get off--?

?Please be quiet, my dear one,? Jonas sighed. Cricket could hear the annoyance in the doctor?s voice and knew it was directed at herself and not Dyera. Let him be mad! The git knew that silence was better than gold in this situation, so why get soft when the simpering princess decided to run her mouth? Cheh! And that would teach him to get uppity.

A tense few seconds passed, as the scuffling drew near, then Brooga gave a small gasp and Cricket narrowed her eyes, trying to see farther into the darkness. ?Ee ratses be hurr. Oi wonder woi,? the molemaid sighed and put down her claws.

?Rats?? And there they were, emerging from the shadows like troublesome wraiths. Whacky and the five ?healthy? islanders approached their group, one of them leading the blind Seer. ?Hey! What?cha doin? here?? Cricket demanded quietly, placing Cookie?s ladle back in her belt. No one objected to the child?s taking the lead with the vile natives. She had a...relationship with them, however twisted.

?Come to warn,? Wakeeha stated, her face a mask of bandages making her all the more fearsome to look at. ?Big Evil--?

?Big Evil is dead,? Ulrick?s voice was curiously flat. What in all the seas did happen back with that white smoosh-faced fox? ?At least most of them. Now we have that monster to deal with, so quit bothering us, vermin.?

The Seer?s head turned in the badger?s direction and Cricket felt a thrill run through her body making her fur stand on edge. Meanystripe, too, was bristling, baring his teeth, perhaps unconsciously. ?Stripedog speak Truth, but Wakeeha sense one left. Worst of all Big Evils.? She shivered and the child had a strong urge to hit her before she could continue her prophesizing. Nothing good ever came of it for the remnants of the Black Brine?s crew, it seemed.

?And now face King of Seas that steal Wakeeha?s soul long ago.?

?Steal ?ee soul?? Broo-haha?s brows knit together as her miniscule brain tried to work this out. Chii, figures a dirt-digger wouldn?t get it. ??Ow c?n that be, Miz Wakee?a??

?Tch! Ya woodlanders don?t know nothin? ?bout sellin? yer souls, d?ya?? the young vermin rolled her eyes. ?S?obvious Whacky sold hers t?that monster fer her powers. Stupid??

?You?re a mean little thing, aren?t you.? It was a statement, not a question. Cricket turned to look back at Dyera with a smirk.

?I?m a vermin, princess.?

?Wot c?n ee tell us ?bout ee King o?Seas, Miz Wakee?a,? Brooga pressed on, ignoring the slight and ensuing argument. ?We think we know wot we c?n do, but anythin? t?elp be welcome. Ee moight even be able t?get off?n ee oisland if?n ee ?elp us get rid o?ee turrible beastie.?

?Wakeeha see death still,? the Seer began twitching like a dibbun who had just eaten an entire sugar plum cake by himself. ?Blood pouring?turn waters red. Three remain as Wakeeha say, but cannot tell if still True. Much darkness and no light. A scream! Not scream by creature of this world. And Wakeeha dead. Island deserted to death birds for 20 seasons?then one return. Return and rule over land of death??

?There?? everybeast save Wakeeha jerked when Jonas? uneasy voice whispered, ?there are five, not three. Your prophecies are false. There isn?t?isn?t any sort of real power like Seeing. It?s just parlor tricks and nonsense.?

?When Wakeeha See and speak Truth to raft beasts, six alive,? the old rat raised the paw not occupied with her staff. She unfurled three of her claws with excruciating slowness.

Pop. Crack. Crick.

?Three left.? Her smile was worst than the noises with which her aging body spoke.

?Quit-quit jabberin?, Whacky,? Cricket ordered, hoping her voice was not nearly as high as it sounded in her own ears. ?Either tell us how t?kill that great ugly fish or get goin?.?

The Seer cocked her head to one side. ?We leave as Chirruping Rat say, but tell Wakeeha where Obligo. We find Chief for guidance. Wakeeha no longer command.?

Brooga and Ulrick exchanged a look over Cricket?s head. What would happen when the islanders found out they were leaderless? The badger balled his paws into fists and the mole braced herself.

?Your chief is dead,? Ulrick growled. ?Now be gone, vermin, or you?ll join him.?

?Obligo dead?? one of the islanders stared in disbelief. ?We not have shaman or chief?!?

?Ya ain?t got those, but ya got a queen!? Cricket puffed herself up and stepped forward. Chah! I knew they?d come crawlin? t?me. Stupid Obli-whats-it! Got hisself killed. Chiihii!

?Miz Cricket! Be ee careful,? Broo-haha warned.

?Shut up, Broo-haha,? the child scoffed. ?Obli-whats-it?s dead an? I beat Whacky, so I?m queen. Ya don?t unnerstand polly-ticks like I do.?

Both Ulrick and Jonas snorted in disgust. ?If that?s politics, Ms. Argyll?? the pine marten began.

?Then I?m a merry little Sparra,? the badger rumbled.

?Stripedog and Bookworm say Truth.? If Wakeeha still had eyes, Cricket was certain she would be rolling them now. ?Chirruping Rat is fool child. Not fit to lead tribe.?

?Stop. Callin?. Me. That.? The ratmaid marched up to Wakeeha and grabbed the front of her ragged shirt. Once more, it became clear that the island rats were well armed. I don?t care! Let ?em pose like that ?til they?re statues.

?Now ya listen t?me, Whacky?all o?ya!? Cricket threw a glare back at those she deigned to think of as ?minions?. ?I know ya think I?m jist some little brat who doesn?t know anything ?cept how t?be a nuisance. Yes! That?s me a lot o?the time, but I ain?t a stupid creature. I know what?s what an? how t?be clever an? smart, too. Maybe I don?t talk s?nice or read well or write or any o? that stuff that makes beasts respect ya without thinkin?. But I can think an? fight an? win! An? I?ll tell ya this much, Whacky:

?Maybe what I said earlier ain?t exac?ly how polly-ticks work, but I know, when yer on some Fates fersaken hunk o?rock, the rule goes that ?might makes right?. Obli-whats-it?s yer chief, so he was the strongest, then you would be in charge ?cause yer second strongest, Whacky, but I beat ya. That means I?m stronger. That means I?m in charge o?ya fer whatever that?s worth. Don?t ya go mouthin? off. Jist ?cause I?m young don?t mean I?m incopy?encompit??

?Incompetent?? Jonas raised an eyebrow.

?Right! I ain?t incompetent?Or a hippo-crab. I?m a rat and queen!? Somehow Whacky managed to look confused without a face.

?Is you done?? the Seer queried after a tense moment of silence.

?Tch!? Now they?re jist gonna run away. Brainless excuses fer walkin? skellytons. Cricket released her and stepped back, folding her arms across her chest petulantly.

?Wakeeha see she is?make mistake.?

?About what? Your prophecies?? Meanystripe sounded almost anxious. Almost.

?Chirrup?Queen is young,? the old islander acknowledged grudgingly. ?Wakeeha take this as ?foolish? and is True, yes, but Queen say Truth, also. She is strongest. Wakeeha follow Queen, but Wakeeha does not speak for tribe??

?Aye. Follow Queen,? one of the others piped up. Then in quick succession, the last of the Terramort rats decided.

?We listen to Queen!? Whacky held out her deformed staff. It was bent at odd angles and covered in shells, dried seaweed and gull?s feathers, but it was strong wood stolen from the tides. Cricket took the abomination to the craft of woodworking. Mine. Not Whacky?s. Not Cookie?s. Mine.

?Well, as touching as this moment is, Your Highness,? Jonas mocked, ?we have other things to attend to, or have you let your new ?power? swell your head so much as to have forgotten? Now, back to the Kraken--!?

?Don?t talk t?me like that, Doc,? Cricket snarled, whipping open the staff and directing the hidden dirk?s blade at the marten.

?You forget, Ms. Argyll," the marten began coolly, "I am the ticket--?

?You gotta be alive, not all in one piece, Doc,? the rat child cut him off. They went silent and glared at each other.

?Stop it! Both o?ee!? Broo-haha broke in, pushing Cricket?s paw away. The little vermin was tempted to slash the molemaid for her insolence, but sheathed the blade instead. Broo-haha was more useful undamaged in any fight that might come. Jist like Meanystripe. Cheh?have t?hold off killin? him, too.

?I?m tried of standing around and talking,? Ulrick grumbled irritably. His voice was different. The dispassionate badger they knew and loathed was?changing. What?s goin? on? ?We have ourselves. We have these rats now. Let?s be off to do something useful.?

?We must have a plan!? Jonas protested. ?Otherwise we?ll all die needlessly. Or?you will, at least.?

?Coward??

?Miz Cricket!?

?Tch??

?Coward? Perhaps,? Jonas admitted and Dyera made a strangled sound of disagreement. ?Fool, however? Not at all. Patience is a virtue, Mr. Hammerpaw. Perhaps you might learn some of it from Ms. Delfan.?

?Hmph!?

?Foine,? Brooga -- Ruddy Ms. Goody-Twoshoes, is more like it! -- held up a paw. ?A plan. Maister ?Ammerpaw is a good attacker, along with ee ratses. Miz Cricket an? Oi?ll distract ee gurt evil beastie woile they attack ee oies.?

?And if there should be trouble with this very simple and obvious plan, Ms. Delfan?? Jonas queried skeptically.

?Then Oi hope ee?ll ?elp us?n, zurr,? the molemaid stared directly at the pine marten. ?Because it bain?t a pleasant thing t?live all boi yurrselves, Oi think.?

?Daddy! I?m still so scared,? Dyera mumbled. ?I don?t want to be stuck here. Isn?t there more we can do than just watch??

?There is,? Meanystripe agreed without hesitation. ?Be more bait.?

?Eek! I don?t want to do that, you great brute!? the girl whined. ?And what use would we be if Daddy died? You?d never get off this island even if you beat that-that?thing.?

?I think I got somethin? fer ya t?do,? Cricket interjected.

?And is it as clever as Mr. Hammerpaw?s idea, Ms. Argyll?? Jonas sighed.

?Cleverer,? the rat stated bluntly. ?Now lis?en??