I Have Not Yet Begun to Fight

[Vasily Izhets]

Above Vasily, people died.

Below him, sharks waited.

And there he was, in the middle.

Crouched behind a flimsy barricade of barrels and crates, the cat hugged his knees as screams and crashes reverberated through the otherwise empty hold. He had a distinct feeling that his life was stuck in some kind of cycle, endlessly repeating the same events until he made the heroic choice and died with his companions.

?Haha, that?s got to be a lie,? he choked out. ?Not like I matter enough for the universe to have it out for me specifically.?

Twice within a season is too much to be explained as just a coincidence.

?I took up with pirates, what was I supposed to expect??

So then what, am I admitting I?m suicidal?

?Did I really think I could succeed??

Did I think my death would matter to her?

?So what?!? Vasily sobbed, burying his face in the crook of his arm. ?All this has proved is that I wouldn?t be able to do anything when the time came! I?m still a useless coward, still hiding behind better beasts??

Then there came a mighty roar, and the Silver Maiden shuddered under a tremendous impact. The hull buckled, then gave, and the sea eagerly rushed in to claim the new space. The ship began to list right, and the noise above him took on a new, more frantic edge.

Vasily?s tail did its best imitation of a featherduster, but the dampness around his legs was definitely only from the water. The cat put a paw to his chest, trying and failing to distinguish the individual beats of his heart. ?What??

There was no one around to finish the question, so he left it hanging in the air as he scrambled over the fallen crates and barrels towards the exit.

It looked like his cowardice had won again; he was going to live until he found a better reason not to.

***

It wasn?t the first time Vasily had seen beasts fighting desperately amid the burning ruins of his workplace, but it was by far the worst. Pirate and woodlander corpses littered the deck around the paws of their living comrades, who hacked viciously at each other in a horrific dance of slaughter. At the forefront stood an immense armored titan, effortlessly flinging beasts left and right as weapons bounced harmlessly off its armor. Eerily lit by the fire that had crept across most of the deck and up the sails, it looked like a mad painter?s vision of Hellgates.

Vasily slapped a paw over his mouth to suppress the vomit, failed, and voided the remnants of a fine tuna from his stomach. Nothing could have prepared him for this; the hold was suddenly looking much more attractive.

But he dismissed that thought as a bad joke, and cast about for a friendly face. He found only Vera, holding an unconscious hare like a shield and flanked by a seemingly comatose weasel. She would have to do.

?Oy! Vera!? he called, struggling to make his voice heard over the din as he picked his way through the chaos of the deck.

?You know how to get those life boats down, right?? she asked as he drew up, almost tripping on the stunned weasel in the process.

Vasily leaned over and peered at the beast. A sobbing moan escaped the weasel as he pawed almost desperately at the multicolored, patchwork hat atop his head. Vasily recognized it as belonging to the one-time poisoner Tooley.

?What in ?Gates name happened to him??

?I don?t know; as soon as the sails went up his eyes just glazed over.?

Well, I can certainly understand that. ?What should we do with him??

?Leave him!?

?Hey, hey, hey, you can?t honestly be saying??

Vera narrowed her eyes. ?What?s the problem??

Vasily hesitated. How could he explain to Vera, with her gaze full of horrors, the nausea that welled up when he remembered every face that would never move again, the accusation and hatred that their expressions bespoke, the unspoken question he could never answer?

So he didn?t. ?We? we could carry him, right??

?Carry him if you want, but I?m getting out of here!?

True to her word, Vera was already heading out with furry armor in paw. Vasily hesitated, then rushed after her and shouldered part of the load himself.

Because Vera was right.

Of course she was right.

Some things were important.

Vasily wasn?t going to sleep well for a while.

The combined strength of the quartermaster and cook dragged their shield across the deck in short order, and entirely unmolested. The sight of one of their own with Vera?s kitchen knife pressed to his throat gave the woodlander forces pause, and they seemed too disorganized to mount any kind of rescue mission. A few meaningful gestures on the vixen?s part scattered those directly in front of the lifeboat, and as they closed to within a few meters of freedom Vasily felt his heart begin to lift.

And then a long-eared shape popped out of the boat, bow drawn and arrow at the ready. "Um, so... that's my friend. Please, uh.... don't hurt him. Please. Okay?"
   
The uniform-less hare?s babbling seemed a good deal less intimidating than his weapon, and Vasily chanced a step forward, his free paw raised. ?Now, let?s be rational about this-?

"Hey! Don't mess with me. Really. There's, um... poison on these arrows. So, even if I just nick you, you're... like, dead. Yeah. Got it?"

Through the dim, flickering light provided by the remnants of the Maiden Vasily could make out something glistening on the point of the arrow. Even if the poison was a bluff, the arrow was real and it was definitely angled more towards him than his companion. The cat screwed his eyes shut. This whole situation was absurd.

Vera looked over her shoulder. ?They?re coming this way, Vasily! Handle it!?

?What the hell do you want?!? he shouted at the bow-wielding hare, voice cracking from the smoke and stress. ?You trying to be a martyr or something??

The beast gave a nervous chuckle. ?Haha, well, um... no, nothing like that yet. It's more like, uh... these boats take two to lower, and... Atlas is crazy. And I don't want to die. And, uh... I don't want my friend to either."

The cat stood still for a second, processing what this hare had just given him. Then he turned to Vera. ?You heard him! Drag that lump of fur in here now, we?ve just gained another rower!?

?He?s the enemy! Are you insane??

?No, I entirely sympathize with his reasoning!? he replied, already in the boat and tugging at ropes. ?Does Ciera Ancora mean so much to you that you feel differently??

That did it, at least. The hare?s body landed next to Vasily, followed shortly by a vixen. He motioned to the conscious one, who released his rope in unison with the cat.

With both of its restraints free, the boat hurtled on badly-greased hinges towards the heaving surface of the ocean. Above them, shower of javelins flew over the railing, cutting the air where Vasily?s head had been a moment before.

The impact jarred everybeast from their seat, and they lay among cut ropes and loose oars for a second until a loud crash from above announced that part of the Silver Maiden?s mast had finally given up the fight against fire and gravity. Vasily jerked up and grabbed an oar, intending to put some distance between himself and the flaming wreck that used to be his place of employment.

But he paused, causing Vera to prod him with a paddle. ?What are you doing? We need to move!?

Vasily ignored her, and leaned over the edge of the boat and squinted off into the distance. No, it wasn?t just his mind playing tricks on him; some strange lights danced off in the fog behind the woodlander ship, and they were growing brighter by the second. A dim memory surfaced, of an old stoat warning three young cats to beware of will-o?-the-wisps when they ventured out into the forest at night.

??Tell me, Vera, do you believe in ghosts??