Goldenheart

[Thrayjen]

For two days his belly ached and grumbled in discontent but hunger would not stay him. Dawn rose above the Crater?s bulwarks and with it, Thrayjen emerged from the punishment cells and marched straight to the training yard.

A pawful of gladiators set up the equipment, dummies and wooden weapons. A single trainer directed the slaves; at first, Thrayjen was excited to see the ferret, but his sable coat and his smirk betrayed him. It wasn?t Blue, merely a rival. 

Thrayjen paused, contemplating visiting Plockette at the bar, but he shook his head and looked up towards the wooden barricade separating the training ground from the archery range.

The rat made his way across the Crater, navigating the halls and the ground floor with ease of practise until the short walk ended at a door. Thrayjen pushed it aside.

The stretched yard was just as empty as the rest of the complex save for a single beast, and the stoat?s presence reached and filled the air with thick tension. With his back turned to the rat, Aldridge battled with an unwieldy tripod. Thrayjen watched as every time Aldridge attempted to place a heavy stuffed target into the grooves, the tripod would snap shut and collapse.

The third time it happened, Aldridge tried to grab the tripod as it fell, but the target in his arms overbalanced him and it ended in a cloud of dust and a frustrated curse.

?May I help??

Aldridge froze, muscles visibly bunching beneath his shirt. As he hauled himself up, he afforded the rat a sidelong glare and walked swiftly down the fairway towards his workshop.

?Please wait.?

Aldridge ignored him and Thrayjen dashed forward to catch the stoat before he could lock himself away in his shop.

?I need to speak with you, please!?

The door shut behind the stoat.

?Aldridge!? Thrayjen yelled, cupping his paws around his maw. ?Aldridge, please, I want to apologize! I?m trying to??

The rat lowered his paws, grunting disappointedly. Scream all he like, he knew the stoat wasn?t listening. While Thrayjen kept hope and regret for company, Aldridge no doubt stewed in his anger for the two days since Thrayjen?s assault. Such a waste of precious time required stubbornness to remedy, and Thrayjen was determined that Aldridge hear his apologies.

?I can wait here all day, you know!? Thrayjen called out again.

No reply was awarded and so Thrayjen did as he promised, and waited.

Morning edged on and became sticky. Thrayjen tucked himself underneath the workshop?s awning, the cooler shade offering some comfort where no other could be found. He did not know how much time passed before another beast entered the archery range.

The Pearl Dawn shined like her namesake, the sun reflecting off her white curls and casting a glow about her form.. Her eyes sought his and he quickly looked away, both unwilling and unable to meet her gaze. The sound of her footsteps approaching would not allow him to ignore her.

?You missed breakfast.?

Such a simple phrase sounded so denouncing. Thrayjen winced, wondering if he had imagined her accusing tone. He glanced up to see her blank stare and her relaxed posture. She carried a small satchel filled with nuts and dried fruits, held slightly out towards him as though in offering.

?I?? He struggled, mouthing silent words that didn?t seem to fit. ?I had more important things to do.?

?Searching out your trainer,? Rinam said. ?Searching out your friend.?

?I don?t know if ?friend? is the right word anymore but, yes.?

?To make amends.?

Thrayjen nodded. Rinam moved closer, nodding to the food in her paws.

?Impatience festers on an empty stomach.?

The rat accepted the bag, sharing a faint smile with the mouse as he raised a pawful of nuts to his mouth.

?Quicker when amendment is needed,? Rinam added, and knocked very loudly on the workshop door.

?Go away!?

?We will not,? Rinam answered the stoat?s muffled voice. The sound of a chair being shoved back, of heavy pawsteps; the door opened.

Aldridge looked out at them with a deeply furrowed brow, his scowl contemptuous against Thrayjen?s reluctant frown.

?Out with it.?

Thrayjen swallowed his mouthful of breakfast and cleared his throat. He stood straight, determinedly meeting the stoat?s eyes.

?I?m so sorry, Aldridge,? Thrayjen began in earnest. ?Whether you believe me or not, I?m so sorry for what happened. That wasn?t?I didn?t go there intending to fight you, and I know?I know how utterly ridiculous it was to accuse you of sabotaging me. That?that wasn?t me that day.?

Aldridge rolled his eyes and Thrayjen paused, licked his lips.

?I mean to say, that wasn?t who I am, who I?ve struggled to be since I fled Muskroarka. Something?horrible took hold of me. Something I thought I had locked away?but I was hurting, and angry, and I let it out again.?

His words sped with every breath until his lungs drained, and still he tried to talk. Rinam placed a paw upon his arm. A simple gesture, yet the physical support she lent inspired calmness in his racing heart. 

?I don?t want to be the Blackwhiskers, Aldridge. Rinam. I don?t want to be that monster anymore, but it?s getting so hard to fight it all back when I?m fighting everything else here. I?m sorry for what I let happen. I?m so sorry. If I never have an opportunity to speak to you again, please know that. Know that I wish I could take everything back. I know I can?t, and there?s so much hurt I?ve caused, but I?m trying, Aldridge. I?m trying every day to reign in the anger that haunts me, to remember everything I?ve done that?s caused suffering and remember that I must be better than that. For Helix?for Verna?and everyone else.?

Thrayjen sucked in a sharp breath, setting his jaw and bracing himself as though struck. Aldridge?s face had not changed, his flickering eyes emotionless and unreadable.

?Everything I?ve done, I?ve done for them. Every secret I?ve kept, every time I called Nire my master, I?ve done it for them. And I was wrong to do so. So, so wrong?and I was wrong not to tell you who I was. I didn?t trust you.? A harsh laugh escaped the rat. ?I didn?t trust you?and so I never came to you for help. I thought you?d turn your back on me, reveal my titles and my past and I thought you?d stop me from ever seeing my family.?

?I?m sorry,? Thrayjen repeated. ?I?ve been stupid, and I?m sorry, and I?ll go now."

The rat began to turn away but Rinam?s paw tightened its grip on his arm. He paused, looking from her to the stoat that backed out of his doorway.

?Come in,? Aldridge said quietly. While it was not relief that washed over Thrayjen, a sense of hope found him, and he stepped through the threshold.

The familiar musk of the bowyer?s shed was comforting, the scents of tea and cut wood homely. A white mouse stoked the small morning fire that burned in the hearth, looking up only when Aldridge addressed her.

?Aera, this is the one I told you about.?

The mouse looked up and wiped her sooty paws upon her apron. Thrayjen tried to smile and failed. She scrunched her nose, clearly unimpressed.

?Good morning,? Thrayjen tried. ?It?s?it?s really nice to meet you.?

?I?m sure,? Aera said shortly.

?Would you put the kettle on, please?? Aldridge asked from across the room, standing by a door Thrayjen had not seen open before. Another room and another door lay beyond, the stoat angled towards the darkened area. ?He needs to see.?

?Of course he does. Prince of the South who?s slaughtered thousands, who snaps at a word from the wildcat and performs our worst nightmares with a snarl. Oh, but Aldridge likes him, so let?s bring him into the fold! You told me yourself, Uncle. Nobeast ever made peace with the Blackwhiskers and lived to tell the tale. ? Aera muttered through clenched teeth, eyeing the rat sidelong. Aldridge smiled at her.

?And yet here, and now, there?s no Blackwhiskers in this room.?

As Aldridge stepped into the adjacent room, Rinam quickly guided Thrayjen past Aera. Another door lead into a musty, dark tunnel and together, they followed the stoat deep underground. The stoat turned down corridor after corridor until Thrayjen lost track of the turns, until finally they walked by a curious mechanical contraption and through another door that Aldridge held open for them.

Candles dimly lit up the room and cooling censers of tea masked the faint remnants of sweat and waste. A single chair sat unoccupied by a table, upon which lay the prone form of an unconscious vole. Thrayjen recognized her as the scribe that used to wander the halls, always scribbling away in her book. She was the one who guided him through Rinam to the hogbabes, who watched and observed and written the world down. He owed her his gratitude and silently tugged his ear in respect for the fading beast.

Aldridge lit a lantern and hung it from a hook on the ceiling. Immediately the room brightened and the rafter beams no longer cast deep shadows over Adeen?s peaceful face. The blanket that was carefully tucked around the vole could no longer hide her ribs. She likely would never wake up, yet Aldridge still strived to keep her heart beating. Thrayjen looked to Aldridge in sympathetic understanding as the stoat positioned himself beneath a thick lintel.

Sigils, much like Thrayjen?s kraken, were etched into the wood. The pattern of encircled shapes and symbols leapt forth in the light and Thrayjen stepped back to study the markings. A hammer and anvil, a loaf of bread and baker?s hat, a snake entwined around a staff... a bow and arrow. The rat looked at Aldridge, realizing for the first time he no longer stood in a shop but a monument of freedom and hope.

?These are the Marks of Madder Barrow,? Aldridge began, pointing at each symbol. ?Ulrich. Aera. Luthier. This one is mine. They were given to a beast to acknowledge the skills they offered Madder Barrow. What a beast did to help the village would be honoured with these brands. The marks are sacred to me, Thrayjen.?

?They?re beautiful,? Rinam quietly said, releasing Thrayjen?s arm and turning to see each mark.

?They are,? Thrayjen agreed. ?But I don?t understand. These marks are important to you. Sacred, you said. Why are you showing me them?

?I struggled for years to earn mine,? the stoat continued, ?It was a battle. A hard fight. Seasons spent wallowing in self-pity and drowning myself in whatever grog I drudged up had broken me even before I arrived in Madder Barrow.?

?Then my mother decided enough was enough.?

Aldridge turned to his apprentice, standing with her arms crossed as she leaned against the doorway. He smiled, his eyes brightening.

?Aye. She wouldn?t let me suffer anymore. She refused to watch as I slowly died from misery, and so she offered me her help. I hadn?t asked her to. She simply offered me her paw and pulled me up when I found the strength to take it.?

Aldridge slowly lowered himself into the chair, gently pressing the back of his paw to Adeen?s cheek. He frowned, closing his eyes as he tenderly stroked the spiked fur of her brow back.

?There?s a storm coming, Thrayjen,? the stoat pressed on. ?I don?t know how big or how violent it?s going to be, but it?s on its way.?

?I know,? Thrayjen slowly said. With a cautious tone, he added, ?Trainer Hapley.?

Aldridge nodded.

?Miss Kali.?

The stoat?s lips curved upwards and again he nodded.

?Don?t.?

Aldridge cocked his head to the side but remained expectantly still.

?It?s not just the Crater,? Thrayjen pressed. ?The slaves, the volunteers, the beasts who make their living here, the town. The whole town of Northvale was built up from a few shacks because of the Crater. Even if Nire was beaten, if every slave cast of their chains, what then? Nire will take more slaves and ruin more lives. If Nire dies, then another beast will take his kingdom for themselves. Aldridge...Rinam??

Thrayjen shook his head. He studied the Barrow marks, slowly tracing the bowyer?s symbol with a claw.

?There?s no way to fix this,? the rat finished sadly. ?I?ve seen this before.?

The stoat shook his head, mumbling until his words became pronounced and strong.

?Yes,? Aldridge said, ?Yes, that?s exactly it. I don?t want to topple the Crater, or raze Northvale, or destroy anything but the way of life here.?

Thrayjen?s ears flickered. ?Eh??

?Fix it. I want to fix what?s accepted. I want to change the hearts and minds of every beast in Northvale. I want to rise against the oppression and the pain, and I want to build a better way. Evil can give way to good, Thrayjen. It can.? Aldridge paused and flashed a rare smile. ?I?ve seen it before.?

Hope, Kali had said, was what one made it, and Aldridge was filled with hope. Beside him, Rinam beamed and made her delicate paw gestures, and even Aera offered Thrayjen a grin as the rat turned to study the Barrow marks again.

He deserves it.

Aldrige earned his place, earned his mark, his friends...Father?s respect, even. I earned nothing. I just ran. Ran until I no longer trekked blood everywhere I went.

?It isn?t always about blood,? Rinam interjected. ?Words win where blades will not. The Rapscallion kingdom tried time and again to bring my tribe to heel. They wanted nothing of the beasts above for the gold beneath.?

?We gave up,? Thrayjen said. ?They gave up.?

?And the beasts of peace and paper came from Southsward to take your place. They won us with their words, their law and order.?

Rinam took Adeen?s paw between her own.

?It isn?t always about blood. I did not shed a drop, yet I was betrayed and sold like a lowly crop. My father?? A paw sign. A moment of silence. ?When he died, the town looked to me for guidance. When they came for us, I knew that violence would only beget violence, and so I stayed my paws. I let them take me, and my brethren?those who learned from my example, some of them survived.?

The mouse?s voice grew hard. She placed Adeen?s paw beside the prone vole and stepped back. ?But sometimes blood must be paid, prince. Knowing when to stop is what separates us from our ?Master?.?

?The other day, I couldn?t help myself. With Padoha?I just couldn?t help myself! I felt?such rage?? Thrayjen grimaced. ?I don?t know if I can fight that rage back anymore. The Crater?I?m losing this fight.

?Like a king who leads a country,? Rinam began, ?You must control your passions for the greater good.?

A warrior and a dancer?

Thrayjen looked hard at Rinam, brow creased, eyes unblinking as he studied the mouse. She was born to lead and inspire. Born to dance circles around those so-called masters and their evil, to honour her tribe and calm the tides of war that brewed on the horizon. With her at his side, with Aldridge?s dreams of change and redemption, he found hope.

In the dawning light that consumed him, an overlooked detail emerged; Nire spared Thrayjen from the lash and from execution, instead simply leaving him to cool his paws in a cell. What if the lynx still favoured him? What possibilities had he missed in the cellars, lost to misery and discouragement? If he still held Nire?s esteem, if he could gain it back?

The rat?s eyes hardened. He turned back to Aldridge, and smiled widely.

?I like ?change?,? Thrayjen said, chuckling at the words that he never thought would come out of his mouth. ?I want to fix things with you. I want your help?and I want to help.?