Rascal's Heroes

[Rascal]

Here goes my guess for who these people are and what category they belong too. And of course, their pitch. More will come later.

Antonia St. Myra the Assassin - "My name is Antonia Saint Myra... the third. You killed my roommate's second cousin's hairdresser twice removed. Prepare to die."

Bane Redflank the Seafarer - Arrr, Bane Redflank be a terrible fox pirate scourge of the six and a half seas! He got his name from his inability to grow a beard. All who question this logic walk the plank!

Bronn the Berserker - When his mercenary overlords asked Bronn the Barbarian what the best things in life are, he answered: " To crush your enemies, see woodlanders driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their maidens!"

[Rascal]

If only because everyone and their grandmother have already tossed their hat into reviewing the top thirty, I'm going to join in on the fun. I'm not one to be left behind, blast it!

Rather than focus on what I like, or didn't like, I'm going for how well your character will mesh with other characters. I'm going to tackle this from the assumption that you got into the story and focus on potential roles I can see you filling and potential hurdles you will encounter.

My review will be more mechanical, based on writing tropes rather than the story you actually weave and what your character actually does. We already have plenty of people who are reviewing that angle of the contest quite well.

There will be two parts beyond the complimentary pitch.

Potential Role: Story-wise, who are you based on the 600 words you gave us to read. Beyond the title role.
Hurdle: Mechanically, what will you need to overcome to survive in the contest


As always, art is in the eye of the beholder. Writing is a form of art. I could be wrong, I could be right, I could be batting out to left field. Feel free to agree or disagree, I just hope you enjoy the reviews :D

The Duelist

[spoiler]Elliot: Old, fat, also not right-handed, Elliot sword fights three hares for the price of one.

Role: The Wise Old Mentor

Given that the author seems to have really taken to heart the duel part of the duelist category, we are not given much motivation as to why Elliot will join the story. On the other hand, we don't have many constraints either. Regardless, Elliot seems to be very good at what he does, which is stabbing things with a sword. He also isn't very spry anymore, being 'fat and old'. I don't see him being the heavy hitter knocking down swaths of enemies but the guy who has their back.

Experienced and mature (older) characters can easily slip into the role of mentor for another character. The great thing about The Wise Old Dude characters is that they are completely neutral to other characters can easily mix with any cast member, even other Wise Old Dudes without stepping on anyone toes. So make friends! All the friends!

Hurdle Wise Old Mentors die

Mentor figures tend to... die, a lot in fiction. Not always, but your character will certainly meet a nasty fate if he ends up sidelined into a secondary character just there to stab things or propel others into grander plots. Elliots best hope for survival is to have a reason for readers to root for him beyond 'being an old dude who can sword fight... and maybe a diet.


Fiyero: Every one now! Noooooooo ooooooone fights like Fiyero, no one talks like Fiyero, no one ... oh, someone actually does... at that other tavern. Under a different name... how awkward.

Role: Han Solo

Fiyero is the perfect tomcat. Loud, in your face, and not afraid to jump on the table even though they have been told a hundred times not to! I see him swashbuckling up and down the story like the lovable rogue that he is.

Hurdle: There can only be one

Like immortals of old, there really is only room for one lovable rouge. You need a straight man to play off of, someone more normal-ish to really compare your antics too. If there is another lovable rogue in the story then you need to show how you are different from the get-go, or you will be soon locked in a duel for each others head...

Maut: Never mess with a man's attack stoat.

Role: Lord Kikuchiyo

Who the heck is Kikuchiyo? Kikuchiyo is from seven samurai, which this story is a loose adaptation of. He was the loud, crude guy in the film who pretended to be a samurai, but was really good at killing bandits. Basically he was That Guy. You know That Guy. He's the jerk with a heart of fool's gold. He's the guy in the party who ended up burning down the orphanage, because the orphanage ended up actually being a den of mimics posing as, well... you get the idea.

I have to admit, I'm not entirely sure why I feel Kikuchiyo fits for Maut. Maybe it's because he is just such a chill guy who has no qualms with his (possibly) dubious past but seems to secretly long for companionship. But he also seems a bit crazy.

Kikuchiyo was brash to the point the other characters hated his guts, but he got the job done and he did it well. You would make a great Kikuchiyo, doing the things that need to be done even if they are not pretty.

They pair up best with people who absolutely don't get along with them.

Hurdle: Playing a Kikuchiyo is HARD

This is one of the more fun roles of a story, it is also one of the harder to maintain. Like most roles, there is only room for one Kikuchiyo. Maut also needs more than to simply grow in character, but also have other characters grow around him and come to accept him as a fellow warrior. Kikuchiyo spent the first act earning the other characters respect and really began to shine when he finally earned it.[/spoiler]

The Berserker
The Schemer

[spoiler]
Elsabeth van Riften: A fallen lordling is exiled to the far reaches of the world... possibly again.

Role: Moist von Lipwig

I always love 'odd man out' characters. When the GM introduces the party of seasoned, grizzled adventurers together at the tavern, you are the player who rolls up with a used car salesman. It may seem out of place to have a fat-bellied accountant traveling into the heart of danger but in reality, you will have no trouble standing out among the warriors by your side.

The odd man out can pair up with anyone but works best with someone who can challenge their wits or intellect.

Moist von Lipwig is a reference to a Terry Pratchet Novel. Moist is a con man forced to get the postal system up and running again for a traditional fantasy setting. He has 0 combat skills and has to rely on his silver tongue to win the day.

Hurdle: You are the support role.

The downside of being the teams 'face' character is that other people are going to be doing all the epic fight scenes. Everybody will love you, but the Viking warrior next to you just slaughtered an army while carrying a battle-ax in his TEETH. It can be hard to compete with the 'awesome' factor and easily pushed into a support role.

The good news is that you are probably going to be the most relatable character. Your character is going to be the most 'normal' person in the room. Normal can be a powerful tool for helping the audience identify with you because they too, in reality, are normal people.

And everyone loves a good 'brain over brawns' story.

Lucan Spurned by stories of Martin the warrior, a teenage mouse leaves the Abby in search of his own greatness.

Role: Eager Young Space Cadet

The title says it all really. You are the eager young warrior in search of adventure. You are here to provide a sense of childhood innocence ... that will be almost instantly shattered the first time you see someone get maimed in actual combat. It's a fine start for the classic hero's journey and follows the style of Redwall quite well.

The Eager Young Space Cadet can pair up well with anyone. You can find a mentor in one of the aged warriors, a bad influence in one of the thieves, assassins or brigands, or you can team up with other Eager Young Space Cadets to form a club of young beasts thrown into the chaos of battle, as long as you show quickly how you are different from them.

Hurdle: You're an Eager Young Space Cadet

The hardest part of the story is going to be including yourself in the story in a believable way. By modern-day standards, you are a kid. By medieval standards, a young man.

Not the seasoned warrior the characters are hoping to recruit.

How you write other people's characters is going to be the challenge, making it believable why a team of mercenaries, heroes, or even villains, let an inexperienced mouse tag along into battle will be a bit of a tight rope to walk. Don't push hard enough in the beginning and the audience can get annoyed but push too hard and the audience will start to lose their suspense of disbelief.

It will be hard, but not impossible. Make your characters journey to becoming a hero well-paced and believable and the audience will adore you.

Merrill You will be visited by the ghost of alchemy past...

Role: Rush (from Stargate Universe)

Mad Scientist would be too easy, and also a profession rather than a role. No, Merrill is the deadpan snarker of the story. She's going to be the smartest person in the room, the person coming up with all sorts of plans for the defense of Nest and all of them will involve explosives. Making her ideas heard however will be an uphill battle, for intelligence without tact will often come across as arrogance, making her clash with those also in charge of leading our band of heroes.

And there is where all that wonderful social drama will make the audience want to read more.

Deadpan snarker characters play best around leadership characters, but never as a leader themselves. They need someone to clash with who is their equal, but not in the same field of study. In short, they need a rival to compete with.

Hurdle: People wanted to punch Rush in the face.

And they did.

A lot.

There is a bit of a balancing act to writing a character like Merril beyond the generic and already well known. The main challenge is knowing when to have her ideas work, and when to have them blow up in her face. And when they explode, they really need to royally explode in ways with consequences felt by even other cast members.

[/spoiler]
The Hunter


The Seafarer
The Guardian
The Marksman
The Brigand
The Assassin
[spoiler]
Brother Hawthorn:  A mouse takes care of his patient until he finds out the insurance won't cover his expenses. Honestly, given the bill the hedgehog would likely get, this was probably a favor.

Role: Honestly, the scariest person in the room.

Beware the nice ones. They go about their day with a smile and a nod, offering you tea and sage advice.

Then someone presses their Ax Murder Button and now you have multiple bodies to clean up across the floor, side kicked through the wall, and even tossed into the ceiling fan.

Ok, ok, so Hawthorn could easily be the team healer or wise old mentor but that would have been too easy. Regardless of what kind of assassin he is, Hawthorn will continue to charm us with his charming British gentlemen attitude while we wait with bated breath for him to finally go full ninja on someone.

A very neutral character can pair well with anyone.

Hurdle: Making the mysterious orders relevant to the story.

I'm a firm believer in 'waste not, want not' in stories. I do not like wasted details. If a gun is shown on the fireplace in act one, it better be used before the end of the story.
Same with backstories. Hawthorn get's a letter, and kills someone because of it, either because he was order to do so or because the hedgehog was just an unfortunate loose end to take care of on his way out the door.

Someone sent him that letter. The audience wants to know who, making that 'who' relevant while you are trapped inside a city under siege is a potential roadblock. Either it's going to be a situation used in the start of the story to propel Hawthorn into danger, or it will hang over his head like a knife until it comes back to haunt him and the cast members he happens to be around when it does.

Robin Merriweather: Murder She Committed

Role: Yzma, the Emperor's New Groove

It's hard to say why Robin wants her soon to be husband dead, but poisoning people isn't generally a nice-person thing to do. So I'm assuming Robin is not a nice person, especially with how stab happy she seems to be.

She also doesn't strike me to be a front line fighter (unless she is secretly a ninja, like Hawthorn) so feel free to embrace the B team. Find your place among the schemers and plotters or the stealthy backstabbing folk, letting others do all the heavy lifting while you come up with creative alternatives to defeat the Sun Eater.

And be sure to pair up with people who are morally challenged by the thought of literally backstabbing people.

Hurdle: The Red Mage, the one who had access to all the spells except the ones that actually mattered.

Like most roles, finding your place in the story requires balance, especially when you play the backup DPS to the party. Making Robin too skilled at combat will put her into competition with the team's heavy-hitting characters. Making Robin too sly will pit her against other sly, witty and plotting type characters.

She will need to find a very 'Robin' Niche to fill or else she will find herself at a very different banquet... with the Sun Eater.

Siobhan, Codename: The Mantis: I am the darkness that stalks the night. I am the shadow that knows your dark deeds. I am... The Mantis!

Role: Darkwing Duck of Death

Dexter would have worked too for a role. You have a righteous goal to fill, to rid the world of violence... through MOAR violence. The other cast members won't understand it but it will cause all sorts of wonderful moments of drama that the audience will gobble up with delight.

Also, you are going to be doing a lot of stealth missions. That's just a fact of life but I think you already know that. ;)

Be sure to bring lots of stab-able cast members along the way. Keep the potential recruits to your cause close, those who your character would normally stab even closer.

Hurdle: You have to kill a cast member.

There are just too many potential characters in the cast that fit the criteria Siobhan would normally target. Mercenaries, backstabbers, thieves, murderers. Chances are high that one of them is going to cross a line and need to be dealt with.

This is wonderful plot material.

And also potentially dangerous if you have to stab a crowd favorite, or if the consequences of attacking another character are downplayed or up played in the wrong way.

[/spoiler]
The Wildcard

[spoiler]

Rynn So you had a bad day, you taken one down, you punch your friend just turn it around~

Role: Pesto the Goodfeather (animaniacs) or Kora (Avatar)

A strong female lead taking her firsts steps onto the hero's journey armed with a mean left cross and the temperament of a honey badger. Rynn will leave us with no shortage of interesting moments spurned from the conflict created by her uncontrollable anger.

This character will work well with someone to contrast her personality or someone that has clean up after her messes.

Hurdle: Don't forget consequences.

Nothing you don't already know going into the contest with a beserker. The category practically calls for your character to overextend themselves in some way and cause trouble for everyone involved. And then learning from them to rely on more than her anger to carry her through problems.

But that's around 6 problem. Surviving until then requires a certain kind of build-up. The audience knows it's coming so you can prepare an epic way to subvert our expectations or you can play on it and focus on making the audience dread when it finally happens.

It's not her wild rage that makes a beserker interesting, it's what they lose when they give in to it.


Seamus Blackquill: A young raven learns how to babysit while in the crows nest. He would be a schemer if he were not on a boat, methinks.

Role: Un-eager Young Space Cadet

And you thought moving out of your mom's basement was hard. Like all the other young pups potentially in the story, Seamus is on the classic hero's journey, except he really rather wouldn't be. He would like to be back where he really belongs, somewhere safe away from all this adventuring nonsense. Who can't relate with having no control over your life?

Pairs well with his polar opposite, or with a Wise or Grizzled Mentor but can really work well with anyone.

Hurdle: "I wonder if Daffy will remember he can fly?" ~ Bugs Bunny, as he watched Daffy fall off a cliff to his death.

The hardest part of writing your character will be coming up with reasons for him to not just fly away when things get tough. I do not recommend getting too injured to move though, as that would mean you would be too injured to fight and spend the rest of the story stuck in the infirm. Then the hard part will be coming up with an epic death scene while stuck in the infirm away from all the action.

Your character will need something to fight for, eventually, beyond survival, greed, or other more selfish desires. One that does not change the core character of Seamus.

Zandir Firesage:

Role: Fish out of water

I just have to say, I will laugh if the Nest's reaction to the great Burden is 'WHY ARE YOU BRINGING US MORE TROUBLE.' Otherwise, this character seems like he has the potential to be a true Lawful Good (or lawfull neutral) character. Regardless if he is a knight in shining armor, he's motivated by the need of his people and his culture other than the Nest and is already on a quest. It will help your character stand out among the other mercenaries, schemers and swashbuckling duelists. Be sure to play it up to the max.

This character needs a rival, an equal who challenges his moral compass.
Hurdle: Don't summon a bigger side quest

Don't let the sealed can of evil define your story. It's important to your character, and may even play an important part in the story later on, but remember to let the personality of the person who guards it shine through in the end.

[/spoiler]