Tea with Vera

[Vera Silvertooth]

Greetings and welcome to Tea with Vera. Pull up a chair and pour yourself a cup. Honey? Cream? I take both in mine, of course.

I've wanted to do reviews for a long time, mainly because it is something at which I'm not very good. I can write rough drafts with great speed, but slowing down, analyzing elements, and figuring out the logistics of a story...

Well, that's my weakness.

But I'm learning, and that's part of what this is all about. I hope you learn something as well.

I will be using something called a PACTS Sentence, a technique I credit to author and teacher Holly Lisle. Every scene and story should be able to be broken down into the 5 elements of the Sentence. I will break down the PACTS for each application, automatically assuming the application's character as Protagonist, and then try to sum up each story into an (hopefully) interesting 30-word-or-less sentence. There may be some additional commentary as well.

If you want to know more about PACTS, check below the cut.

Just to keep things random, I've rolled a 10-sided die to determine in what order I'll review the categories.

Be a dear, top off my tea, and I'll get right into it.

[spoiler]
If you've ever talked to me on Skype, Discord, or in real life, I have probably told you about my online writing teacher. Outside of Mossflower Odyssey III's cast, Holly Lisle has made the biggest difference in my writing career.

If you want more details about PACTS, I highly recommend checking out Holly Lisle's podcast and classes. The PACTS sentence is covered in great deal in the How to Write Short Stories class (among others) and many, many free podcast episodes.

A short warning, there is explicit language used in the podcast episodes, so avoid those if it's a problem for you.


Links:
How to Write Short Stories by Holly Lisle (affiliate link)http://hollyswritingclasses.com/aff_tools/Elise13785/tool/text_links/22
Podcast with details of PACTS (language warning on this) https://www.alonewithinvisiblepeople.com/posts/taming-the-wild-middle/
Holly's Writing Classeshttps://hollyswritingclasses.com/
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Hunter

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Ashtad, the executing adder
Antagonist: A "criminal" dormouse
Conflict: accused of blindly executing
Twist: Ashtad agrees to help the dormouse find justice if he can prove he was framed
Setting: a burrow under a precipice

An intellectual adder is accused of blindly executing beasts by the "criminal" thrown to his lair, and then agrees to seek out justice if the convicted can prove innocence. (29 words)

Favorite line: Ashtad hovered over the dormouse again, tasting fear with a flick of his tongue. "You know I don't have to eat you to kill you."

*****

Protagonist: Kew-Kew, an eagle hunter
Antagonist: Mother-eating eagles
Conflict: wants to catch and eat things
Twist: Kew-Kew will use stray mouse as bait for the biggest eagles
Setting: a forest of trees

An eagle-hunting creature seeks to catch and eat the biggest eagle, who killed his mother, by using a stray mouse as bait in the trees. (25 words)

Favorite line: "Mousey-thing stinks of fear. Smells worse than I does! Hihihihi!"

*****

Protagonist: "Old One" an ancient predator
Antagonist: Old age
Conflict: Desires to find an easier way of survival
Twist: Singing a song that shows a measure of respect for the life of the dying creature
Setting: Mild verdant forests

In order to extend his survival, an aging predator hunts down easier meals in the rich southern forests, but shows final respect for the life of his prey. (28 words)

Favorite line: But Old One liked to sing, though he could no longer hear the notes lilting through the air. He liked to imagine his song carrying life to the very end of the world. [/spoiler]

[Matra Hammer]

A million times Yes. This is very much like learning how to think about cover summaries or elevator pitches, and it will undoubtedly help any author and reader understand the characters better. Already your Hunter section helped me better understand the weight of Old One's singing and transition.

Great idea. Can't wait for the rest.

[Vera Silvertooth]

Thanks, Matra! I'm glad you've found it helpful. I hope others will as well. Some of these are proving difficult to nail down.

A quick aside to the authors, remember that this is simply my perspective from my reading of your posts. I may have misunderstood your words, or taken leaps of logic that you didn't intend. Fitting some of these posts into the format I've chosen is proving an interesting exercise.  ;)

The Brigand

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Antonia St. Myra, a warrior mousemaid
Antagonist: Lord Briar Haversham, a wealthy ferret
Conflict: seeks justice for non-compliant females sent to a nunnery
Twist: Antonia was a resident of the nunnery with Briar's daughter
Setting: a road with a distant tree line

Along a road, warrior mousemaid seeks justice for a uncompromising female ferret sent to a nunnery by her wealthy father, revealing that she had suffered the same fate. (28 words)

Favorite line: "And now you're realising, aren't you sir? This isn't a duel to first blood. No friends to help. No protocols to fall back on. Just me, and the unwelcome consequences I bring."

*****

Protagonist: Kiri, a camouflaged sparrow
Antagonist: unsuspecting travelers
Conflict: prepares an ambush
Twist: Kiri uses her camouflage and wings to get the jump on one of the travelers
Setting: a forest road

A camouflaged sparrow prepares for an ambush on three unsuspecting travelers on a forest road, and uses the element of surprise to disarm her opponent. (25 words)

Favorite line: "Just don't look my way this time. Hard to surprise a beast when yore gawpin' into the bushes like yore snipe huntin'," Kiri said with a sniff, securing the small blade at her leg before taking off into the treeline.

*****

Protagonist: Smooths, a determined friend
Antagonist: Muli, an injured ferret
Conflict: finding the way through the night to a nearby town
Twist: Muli dies.
Setting: a nighttime forest

A determined friend carries his injured companion through the dark forest in search of the nearby town, but the wounded one dies before they make it. (26 words)

Favorite line: He knelt down beside the writhing beast. "Oi, Muli. Whatcha doin' down 'ere?"
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Berserker

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Chitterfang the Wrigglekin, a lost bat with very peculiar abilities
Antagonist: a baker's dozen of bandits
Conflict: a farmer and his farm under attack by bandits
Twist: Powers and memories given by bugs' blessings
Setting: a river's bank near an onion farm

On a riverbank, a lost bat is summoned to defend a farmer and his home from bandits, using abilities given to her by bugs, while also receiving forgotten memories. (29 words)

Favorite line: "Wrigglewhat, wrigglewho?"

*****

Protagonist: Elias Heatherpaw, a revenge-driven hare captain
Antagonist: Ambushing vermin
Conflict: a hares' ambush gone wrong
Twist: avenging his lover's death connects Elias to her again
Setting: a camp in the forest

While preparing to ambush a forest camp, a revenge-driven captain is instead attacked by the vermin he's hunting, but avenging his lover's death reconnects them. (25 words)

Favorite line: A formless presence issued forth like breath from the dark forest. Moonlight filtered in from above, catching the silver of the hare's saber and the gold in his paw.

*****

Protagonist: Ilka, a blood-soaked wildcat
Antagonist: Brother Wulter, a member of a religious sect
Conflict: seeks her pay for a job she's told is incomplete
Twist: Ilka offers Wulter the job of working for her.
Setting: a secluded forest road

On a secluded forest road, a blood-soaked wildcat contends with her employer's lackey for her pay for murdering a family, then offers him the job of working for her instead. (30 words)

Favorite line: He was one of those types of mice – the irritatingly steely ones.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Marksman

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Flauros, a knife-throwing believer of Fate
Antagonist: a tradition-loving village elder
Conflict: an execution that can't seem to happen
Twist: Flauros is offered money to complete the execution himself, and uses a knife
Setting: a village square

A knife-throwing believer of Fate protests an execution ordered by tradition by the village elder, and takes the executioner's place at the offer of money. (25 words)

Favorite line: Pursuing his predetermined path, Flauros surged through the crowd and crossed onto the elevated platform.

*****

Protagonist: Siler, a blue-eyed, crossbow-shooting mercenary
Antagonist: Falfred, a drunken slacker
Conflict: delivers the comeuppance
Twist: Siler leaves the body inside the crimson door and intends spend time with the resident within.
Setting: a rainy city street outside a crimson door

On a rainy city street, a crossbow-wielding mercenary delivers the comeuppance on a drunken slacker, then temporarily leaves the body as he visits the resident behind the crimson door. (29 words)

Favorite line: Falfred stuck the waterlogged cap on his head, and Siler removed it with a quiet bolt from his bow.

*****

Protagonist: Unga Underbite, an advice-giving mercenary
Antagonist: Snagwort Slickpaw, a young traitor
Conflict: betrayal by her partner
Twist: Unga decides to not use her real weapons and lets the traitor go.
Setting: a city

In the city, advising mercenary is betrayed, robbed, and supposedly unarmed by her younger partner, but decides not to immediately seek her revenge with her real weapons. (27 words)

Favorite line: Maybe, if she'd been more attentive to the state of her stoat, she could have prevented this, kept him on the – well, not the straight and narrow, but the slightly less crooked and malevolent.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Seafarer

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Bise, an indentured avian scout
Antagonist: those who sold and purchased Bise
Conflict: must work away a debt owed
Twist: Finds small freedom in her crow's nest bunk
Setting: a ship named the Pheasant's Plume

An indentured avian scout returns to a ship and reports coastline changes to those to whom she grudgingly owes her service, and finds small solace in her "nest". (28 words)

Favorite line: She spread her wings and hopped into the air, letting a light current take her the long way up to her 'bunk': now, literally, the crow's nest.

*****

Protagonist: Dawl Dredgemast, a broke, burly boat-owner
Antagonist: Tilly, headstrong little sister
Conflict: desires to protect and provide for, and is looking into more bloody means to do so
Twist: The siblings are searching for their parents
Setting: a moored fishing boat

A broke boat owner looks into bloodier means to provide for and protect his headstrong little sister, so that they can go searching for their missing parents. (27 words)

Favorite line: As big as Dawl was for his age, his sister was small. She might technically be fourteen now, but she looked no more than twelve. Short and stubby in her limbs and tail, like a giant fluffy baby.

*****

Protagonist: Novak, a sealion hunter
Antagonist: memories of a former captain
Conflict: hunts a dangerous quarry for a living
Twist: Novak realizes that his prey is sentient
Setting: a ship on the sea and nearby beach

A sealion hunter teaches a newbie their dangerous trade as taught to him by the ship's former captain, only to realize his prey is not unlike himself. (27 words)

Favorite line: "Never seen a greybeast prance so fancy; must be the rose!"
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Guardian

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Priideep, a tadpole protector
Antagonist: threats to the tadpoles
Conflict: stands guard of a clutch of helpless youngsters
Twist: All the tadpoles are lost to an enemy she never anticipated.
Setting: a stream-fed forest pool

A skilled protector stands guard over the helpless tadpoles in a stream-fed pool, but loses her charges to an influx of silt she didn't anticipate. (25 words)

Favorite line: Her other assistant, Briijeet leaped from the foliage below, gulping down the threat with a sloppy crunch of wings.

*****

Protagonist: Shahin, a smooth-talking grave robber
Antagonist: Constable Etienne Hart, a law-keeping childhood friend
Conflict: argument over what is lawful and what Shahin wants
Twist: Etienne's superior discovers them at an bad moment and they're forced to run away together.
Setting: a maze-like crypt

In a crypt, a smooth-talking grave robber argues over his recent acquisition with his law-abiding childhood friend, until discovery leads them to abandon what they know for a new life. (30 words)

Favorite line: "Potato, topaypo. I've got what I want."

*****

Protagonist: Sheercrest, a guilt-driven bird-of-prey
Antagonist: Bray, an orphan
Conflict: accused of eating a family of mice
Twist: Sheercrest determines to save Bray's life and right the wrongs committed.
Setting: snow-capped trees

Amid snow-capped trees, a guilt-driven bird-of-prey is hated by an orphan mouse who's convicted that she's eaten his family, but is determined to protect him and right the wrong. (29 words) 

Favorite line: His hatred of her would linger, like the stench of carrion on the wind.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Assassin

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Brother Hawthorn, an aged healer
Antagonist: Bursoot, a wounded newcomer
Conflict: tends to the wounded
Twist: An official-looking letter arrives and prompts Hawthorn to kill his patient.
Setting: a hovel

An aged healer tends to a wounded newcomer in his hovel, but when an official-looking letter arrives, he kills his patient. (21 words)

Favorite line:"Ain't gonna leach me, are ya?"

Hawthorn produced a candied chestnut. "For being such a good patient."

*****

Protagonist: Robin Merriweather, a grieving vixen
Antagonist: Olaf, a wealthy castle lord
Conflict: attempts to poison her "love"
Twist: A servant tries to kill her target, and she kills him before he does.
Setting: a vermin-controlled castle

A grieving vixen attempts to poison the lord of a vermin-controlled castle, then kills a would-be assassin servant before he does her job. (23 words)

Favorite line: Terrified screams filled the room as the mouse collapsed from a fatal case of being stabbed in the face.

*****

Protagonist: Siobhan, Codename: The Mantis, an avenging friend
Antagonist: a drunken abuser
Conflict: kills
Twist: Siobhan reveals to her friend that she's really an assassin and that they must leave town.
Setting: a town with a pub

An avenging friend efficiently kills a drunken abuser outside the town pub, and reveals to her friend that she's really an assassin and that they must both leave town. (29 words)

Favorite line: The weasel was always in the pub afterwards. Siobhan was always left to mend her broken friend.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Wildcard

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Rynn, a hot-tempered ferret
Antagonist: Zali, a gesticulating friend
Conflict: argues over Rynn's motivation
Twist: Destroys her home and leaves for a new life
Setting: a house near a cliff

A hot-tempered ferret argues and avoids explaining her motivations to her gesticulating friend, then completely destroys a cliff-side house and leaves for a new life. (25 words) 

Favorite line: Standing at the door frame, admiring the mess she had made, Rynn took a deep breath, and another. Had she a match she would have burned the whole thing to the ground.

*****

Protagonist: Seamus Blackquill, a sea-sick booklover
Antagonist: The Imp, a young chatterbox
Conflict: longs for a change in his tormenting situation
Twist: Seamus realizes that the Imp can get books for him, and tricks him into trying.
Setting: a ship's crow's nest

A sea-sick booklover, visited in the crow's nest by a young chatterbox, wishes for an end to his torment, then realizes the youngster can get him the books he desires. (30 words)

Favorite line: "Magic enough to let fatty old me fly to the heavens, even with a dozen beasts on my back."

*****

Protagonist: Zandir Firesage, a skilled sentinel
Antagonist: burdening traditions
Conflict: wearies of protecting a treasure wanted by many
Twist: Proposes removing the burden
Setting: an encampment of wagons

In an encampment of wagons, a skilled sentinel wearies of the tradition of protecting a burdening treasure, and proposes it be removed. (22 words)

Favorite line: "The Sentinel has loftier things on his mind than his own ablutions."

"The Sentinel grows weary of the stink of blood," Zandir retorted.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Duelist

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Elliot, a skillful swordsbeast
Antagonist: A trio of dueling hares
Conflict: a duel over a title
Twist: Elliot brings a bigger sword to the fight and breaks his opponents' rapiers
Setting: A stone bridge

On a stone bridge, a skillful swordsbeast is challenged to a duel for his title by a trio of hares, and snaps their rapiers with a bigger sword. (28 words)

Favorite line: Thoroughly taken aback, Elliot shrugged as if to say, "As you wish."

*****

Protagonist: Fiyero, a nimble singer
Antagonist: a dubious witness
Conflict: is confronted by witness who decrees falsehood
Twist: Fiyero is not what he seems to anyone.
Setting: a busy tavern

A nimble singer entertains a busy tavern, until his tale of daring-do is questioned by a dubious witness, and all is not as it seems. (25 words)

Favorite line: The cat suddenly burst into blurry movement, prancing and weaving his footpaws between the full plates and glasses all across the table in expert fashion, clapping as he went. Not an ale was spilled nor plate displaced, and everybeast erupted once more into cheer for the performance. That is, all except one.

*****

Protagonist: Bihto Snowridge, a brawling bird
Antagonist: the favored fighter
Conflict: wants to prove his name in the fighting circles
Twist: Uses birdy moves his opponent doesn't expect
Setting: renowned fighting pub

A brawling bird is out to make a name for himself at a renowned pub, using his unique moves to defeat the favored fighter. (24 words)

Favorite line: "You beaked me!" she shrieked.
[/spoiler]

[Vera Silvertooth]

The Schemer

[spoiler]
Protagonist: Elsabeth van Riften, an embezzling accountant
Antagonist: a suspicious major
Conflict: is caught changing the account books to serve an undefined interest
Twist: Elsabeth is assigned to a far northern outpost where she'll have less access to funds.
Setting: a fort

A fort's embezzling accountant is caught advancing undefined interests by her suspicious major and determines to succeed at this less lucrative assignment. (22 words)

Favorite line: They probably use bones for money or something, so I doubt you'll be able to get up to much trouble there. Maybe if you're really good at it you can embezzle enough to get a new hat... in about ten seasons or so.

*****

Protagonist: Lucan, a creative warrior-wannabe
Antagonist: three sleeping rats
Conflict: terrifies his opponents with a fake ghost
Twist: Lucan reveals that he is going to prove himself a great warrior.
Setting: nighttime woods

A creative warrior-wannabe uses a fake ghost to terrify three rats sleeping in the woods, and then declares he will prove himself a great warrior. (25 words)

Favorite line: He stuck a claw in the hole the arrow had left in the straw-filled head.

"Mother Veristy would have a fit to see her bed sheets now, eh, my friend?"

*****

Protagonist: Merrill, a well-intentioned exile
Antagonist: Killian, a village leader
Conflict: is accused of witchcraft and causing ruin
Twist: Merrill holds to the memory of a happier time and spares Killian
Setting: A snowy mountain summit

On a snowy mountain summit, a well-intentioned exile is confronted and accused of causing ruin by a village leader, but she holds to her good memories and integrity. (28 words) 

Favorite line: "Calm your chompers, acorn noggin. I'm here for pitons and rope."
[/spoiler]

[Hethrin]

Very good work for all of these!