Applause! Applause! No, Wait, Wait...

[Eliza Lacrimosa]

Eliza squinted out at the shimmering flatlands. The windswept sand yawned away into a beige nothingness, so far as she could make out. She simply couldn?t fathom why the woodlanders were so desperate to hold on to this crummy little oasis. It was a collection of squalid huts located in the middle of bloody nowhere, where the ground was gritty and baked your footpaws. By day, the sun was a torturous oven, and the nights shivered in its absence. Forget Dark Forest; true Hellgates is piddling your life away a place like this.

The pine marten flicked her tail at the huts, picking her way back to the palm grove. She looked grimly at the bowl in her paws, which had ceased to steam. Revenge may have been a dish best served cold, but porridge tended to get rubbery. Matukhana would probably grouse about it, and pitch a tantrum and then she?d have to go clomping back to Wobbleguts for another portion of glop.

The pine marten paused for a second, watching some of Matukhana?s corsairs dismantle one of the huts. Eliza smiled. The grunted curses and cracking timbers were the instruments of a glorious symphony, playing the melodies which would carry her home.

One of the demolition crew, a ferret, bellowed as a piece of wood slammed into his footpaw. Snarling, the burly corsair fetched the rat who?d dropped it a hefty smack. The rat crumpled to the sand, and began to cough violently.

Eliza sniffed, and made her exit. Wretched bits of flotsam.

She found Captain Matukhana still sitting by the fire pit, engaged in a staring contest with the dead cinders.

Faking a polite cough, Eliza offered him the bowl. With slanted brows, the Captain accepted it, mumbling a bitter, ?Took y?long enough.?

Eliza smiled in return, savoring a mental picture of the fox screaming in salt-fuelled agony. She turned to leave. As much fun as it would be to stick around for the festivities...

?Where y?think you?re goin??? Matukhana demanded. His voice sounded cracked, thin.

?I need to get some breakfast for myself,? she replied, keeping her tone even.

The Captain glared at her. ?Si? down. I mi? need you.?

?But, my breakfast...?

?Si? down.?

Eliza sat, a knot of apprehension building at the back of her throat.  The knot grew as Matukhana?s spoon plunged into the quivering glop, swiveled, and excised a salty clump. The fox?s paw took an eternity to raise the implement to his mouth, and another passed while his lips engulfed the morsel. There was a single tolling beat, the momentary calm before what was sure to be a raging tempest.

Matukhana?s lip puckered. One sagging eyelid twitched. Eliza shifted uncomfortably on the edge of her log, fighting the urge to flee.

?Oy, Cap?n!? shouted a blubbery voice. ?We got an ol? frien? of yours come ter visit!?

Eliza whirled - and nearly fell, her face suddenly drained of color. Oh Fates! Two corsairs were crashing through the underbrush, dragging with them a horrible, scaly apparition...   

The thing hissed and writhed feebly in their grasp as they wrestled it over to Matukhana. Eliza recoiled as the corsairs hurled it into the sand, where it cowered. Its severed tail stump trembled slightly.

?Me?n?Skinny Ryun caught ?im lurkin? about, watchin? us take down the ?uts, Cap?n,? a greasy searat reported.

?Thought ?e might like ter say ??ello,? we did,? added Ryun, who had presumably gained the moniker ?Skinny? as an exercise in cruel irony.

Matukhana set the porridge bowl down, and addressed his captive. ?Been absent a long time, ?aven?t ye, cully??

Eliza gawked at the thing?s timid countenance. This brute, this ghastly nightmare who?d menaced her and slain Rath, was reduced to a simpering newt under the Captain?s gaze.

?Yez,? the beast admitted, tongue darting furiously. ?But! Medjool waz watching movementz of Oaziz beaztz to report back to verminz! I hear about woodlander attack, and try warn Captain, but woodlanderz watch I too clozely!?

?I say you should just kill it, Captain,? Eliza ventured, glaring at the coward. ?That horrible... thing attacked me during the battle, and slew my guard.?

?No!? protested the Thing, its voice rising in pitch. ?Iz miztake!?

Eliza smiled. That?s right, Stumprump, beg for your wretched little life. It won?t do you a wit of good.

Matukhana?s gaze bored into the groveling captive, one paw absently straying towards his scimitar. ?You killed one?f my crew, lizard??

?No!?

?He did,? Eliza said, throwing a pitiful smile to the doomed lizard.

Stumprump?s voice ratcheted up an octave. ?Pleaze! Don?t zlay I! Medjool iz much uzeful!?

Skinny chose this moment to begin retching. Eliza edged away from the spray zone, her muzzle creased in disgust. The corsair doubled over, still retching, clutching his hairy stomach.

?Shu? that fool up!? Matukhana snapped.

?No worries, Cap?n, prob?ly jist ate ?is brekkist too quick,? the searat grinned. The corsair awarded Skinny a hefty smack. ?Oy! Snap outta it, mate!?

Skinny Ryun?s heaving ribs stilled briefly. ?I ain?t feelin? s? well, cully,? the corsair burbled, still clenching his midriff.

The searat snorted. ?Huh, you an? everybeast. I couldn?t get a wink o? shut-eye, wid all the mates coughin? an? splut?rin? and moanin?. I even ?eard that Ole Kimpy?s been whingein? about ?is teeth bein? itchy, of all things.?
The lizard?s head snapped upright. ?Your beaztz iz zick??

?They?re probably just looking for an excuse to get out of their work,? Eliza huffed.

Matukhana ignored her. ?What d?ye know about sickness??

Stumprump?s tongue flailed. ?I tell! I tell! While I zpying on woodlanderz, I hear them zay their beaztz alzo zick, alzo coughing. Hak! Hak! Like that one. Perhapz what makez them zick, makez your beaztz zick??

The dumpy searat gawped. ?Gaw, Cap?n, you think mebbe those daft mice?ve given us a sickness??

?It?s a cough,? Eliza cut in. She looked to Matukhana, seeking support. Come on, Captain. You?re honestly going to humour this craven little sandworm? He?s lying to save his worthless pebbled hide. Tell your rabble to dispose of him, and then we can finally set about putting this Fates-forsaken desert behind us.

?It?s somethin?s got ?alf the crew down,? Matukhana admonished her.

?It?s a plague!? the searat jabbered, jowls aflutter. ?I?ve ?eard of ?ole ships? crews wot gone ill wid plague, an? all?f ?em dyin? afore they can make port!?

?Belay that gab,? the Captain snarled. ?Come on, wench. We?ll go ?ave a parley wi? th? mice, an? if it?s a plague, they?ll tell us right enough. An? bring Scaleguts, too.?

Matukhana strode off, and Eliza glared at the two petulant corsairs. ?Well, what are you fools waiting for? Bring him!?

The searat shook his head as he and Skinny Ryun hauled the lizard upright. ?Mark me words, cully. This desert?s cursed.?