Deal With It and Keep Walking

[Vanessa]

  Am Ah dead? The thought floated gently in Vanessa Fern?s clouded mind. It was dark all around her after all.  But where?s Da? Ah always thought... he?d be here... wherever here is.  The ottermaid?s eyes suddenly snapped open. Death didn?t feel this cold. Nor did it consist of sharp rocks digging into one?s back. Hastily, Nessa scrambled upright, pawing the wet snow impatiently off her uniform and glancing around her in an attempt to make sense of her situation. How in the name o? crags did Ah end up oot here? An? where?s everybeast gone? Sucking in a mighty breath of freezing air, the lone otter bellowed out to the frowning cliffs and surrounding snowy hillocks.

?Aaaahooooooy! Flaaaaaaaax! Keeeeent! Aaanyybeeaaaast!?

The sound floundered in the damp, snowy air. Nessa shivered-there was nobeast around. She was alone.

      Driven to movement by the cold, the young Yew Guard set out into the night, her paws slipping and scraping on the icy rubble. It did not make for a pleasant trek, more so because she had acquired a massive headache- not because of the bottle of old mead she?d secretly shared with that pine marten Zevka the night before, oh no indeed. In fact, she had a large bruise the size of a crow?s egg on her head. Useless helmets, they ne?er protect anythin? when it comes doon tae et.

        Memory of the landslide was slowly filtering back, enough for the ottermaid to realize that she was very lucky indeed to be alive, but the thought didn?t make her feel much better as her eyes roved the abandoned slopes. More penetrating even than the freezing darkness around her, it was the eerie silence that was slowly seeping into the normally buoyant and cheerful otter?s heart, chilling the living warmth within her.  And however much she tried to repress it, the thought that she might be the only creature alive in this pitiless mountain wormed itself in, suffocating what little confidence she had left.
    So when Nessa saw the dark figure through the gloom, hunkered against a rock as though to protect himself from the cold, she bounded forward with a cry of joy. It didn?t matter whether the beast was woodlander or vermin, all she wanted right now was to hear someone?s voice. Skidding to a halt in front of the cloaked stoat, she paused, her heart freezing within her. Frosty blood caked the rock at its feet and a layer of ice was already gathering over the glazed eyes. Dead. With a sob of horror, Nessie sprinted off as fast as her paws would carry her, stumbling and scrabbling as she went, not even heeding where she was going. They were all dead and she was alone.
       It wasn?t more than a few minutes before she tripped and fell sprawling on a pile of loose rubble. Her breath came in short gasps as she lay there motionless, her mind blank and unresponsive. Then the screams began. Faintly, they winded their way through the snowy air to her trembling ears, echoing with terror and pain. Gulping down a whimper, Nessa raised her muzzle to try and discern the source of the wails but as she did her whiskers brushed against something scratchy that stuck out of the rubble. Upon grabbing at the lump, the ottermaid almost yelped in shock. The thing was a paw. And even through the night chill, Nessa could feel the warmth of it in her own. She couldn?t see much in the dark but the shape and size of it suggested it belonged to a rather large mouse and her thoughts immediately went to Kent. The young, brawny, but also surprisingly mischievous mouse was one of the only Guards she had ever befriended, to the great dismay of his very respectable parents.
    For a second, Nessa stared at the enormous pile of rubble in disbelief. Her mind, completely unaccustomed to the harsh reality it suddenly found itself in, struggled to come to grips with idea of her friend completely buried by rock and earth (along with seasons knew how many other of her traveling companions). Of their own volition, her paws started to move, gouging at the pile of debris, removing chunks of rock and clay, and clearing away the muddy dirt. The scratches on her pads were burning as they scraped against rough rock but Nessie gritted her teeth and kept digging. If Kent was alive under there, she?d get him out, if only for the comfort of another living beast to talk to.

       Five minutes later, the ottermaid glumly surveyed a small depression in the mound- this was going nowhere. At this rate, Kent would be dead before she got even his arm free. As if on cue, the paw twitched under her nose. A frustrated growl erupted from Nessa?s muzzle and something seemed to snap inside her. Throwing herself at the pile like somebeast possessed with Bloodwrath, she tore furiously at the confining rocks, the pain from her injuries only serving to further fuel her assault. Rubble and wooden wreckage flew in the air as the berserk otter went at it with all four paws, muscle standing out like cords on her slender limbs. A maid she might be, but Nessie was strong.

?Have at ye, ye sorry excuses fer a bairn?s pebbles. Yer noo stoppin? me... Aaaah!

   Without warning the entire top of the pile shifted and slid off to the side in a rattle of small boulders, revealing the two planks of wood that had been protecting most of the unconscious creature below from the crushing weight. Well, that felt decidedly better, decided Nessa, as she stood up, dusting her paws and cracking a small grin. She was warm too now. Moving the planks off the still figure, she peered at it in the gloom and froze, staring.

  It wasn?t Kent. In fact, it wasn?t even a mouse. There amidst the wreckage, lay a large, unconscious female rat dressed in gaudy clothes.

In the end, Nessa did the only thing she could think of doing- hoisted the rat up on her shoulders and staggered off into the night, all the while trying to ignore the small voice in her head that urged her to consider the stupidity of her act.

Ye doon?t even know where yer goin? yerself, Nessie. What?s the use o? carryin? a dead weight aroond till ye drop?

Be quiet, ye dinnae just leave a beast tae die. That?s no what Da would have done.

Weel, mebbe there?s a reason why he?s dead.

Shut up! ?Sides after all the braw trouble Ah took tae dig her oot, t?would be a shame tae leave her tae freeze.

Far above the roiling black clouds and whirling snow, myriad stars shone like chips of ice, oblivious to the small figure trudging half-bent on the ground far below. Gamely, Nessa struggled on- now, the otter was focusing only on placing one paw in front of the other, her mind numb to all else, including the whoosh of air and snow particles as Captain Noonahootin of the Guard landed a few feet away with a loud hoot.

?Guardsbeast Vanessa!?

Half-closed eyes blinked dazedly at the owl as the ottermaid muttered automatically.

?Me name?s Nessa, ye foozlebrai... Captain??

Her head snapped up as she fully registered Noonahootin?s presence.

?Captain  Noona! Y... yer alive! Where are the others? They?re no all dead? Wot happened? How?d ye find me??

Words tumbled out of her mouth like a babbling brook before Nessa checked herself, surprised to find tears of relief gathering behind her eyelashes. The captain blinked huge eyes once, glancing at the unconscious rat then fixing Vanessa with a penetrating stare, as if assessing her mental stability.

?Good to find you alive, Miss Vanessa. It appears we have been victim of a landslide- there are three vermin survivors just beyond that outcrop.?

A vast wing swept out to point out the snow-capped chunk of rock barely visible in the night and Noonahootin turned back to Nessa, his large features softening.

?It?s not far, lass, just keep walking and you?ll make it. Remember, you?re a Yew Guard! Get everyone together somewhere safe from any further slides and await my return. I will search for other survivors and a way out of here.?

Nessa swallowed and tried a half-frozen grin, giving a salute with her free paw. Somehow, she felt proud of the simple gesture, whereas before it had always been a grudging recognition of unwanted authority or a mocking gesture to her superiors. Captain Noonahootin spread his wings wide, giving her an unexpected wink as he took off in a whirlwind of snowflakes.

?Ye?d better look after that rat; she?ll want to know who saved her!?

The owl?s pale grey shape melted into the darkness of the night sky as Nessa hoisted the rat further up on her burning shoulders.The ottermaid took off at a brisk trot towards the outcrop, the knowledge that she was not alone lending new strength to her limbs.

     The rock formation was closer than it looked but still Nessa could feel every muscle in her body crying out for rest as she staggered wearily up the slope. Just as she reached the top of the snow heap rising on the side of the rocks, the ottermaid?s legs gave out and she buckled forward. The rat went flying over her head and hit the snow with a thump but Nessa wasn?t paying any attention to her. Her fall had carried her right over the ridge of snow unto a very steep downward slope and before she realized what was going on, she was rolling uncontrollably downhill in a cloud of snow particles. The world spun crazily, night sky melting with glimmering snow in a blur of grey. Vaguely, Nessa heard a startled cry- she had not time to reflect on it however, before she felt her body smash into something alive and furry. The world stopped spinning. Slowly, Nessa?s eyes regained focus and took notice of the fact that she was lying on her back staring into a pair of slightly irritated and very familiar eyes.

?Zevka!?

The pine marten offered a paw to help her upright.

?Up you come!?
 
Nessa swayed a bit on her footpaws, still dizzy from her slide, as Zevka looked her up and down.

?You look pretty good for a beast who just got caught in an avalanche. I guess it takes more than that to stop you!  Thought you might not have made it -- glad I was wrong!"

The ottermaid grinned, feeling almost giddy at finally having someone to talk to.

?Aye, Ah wasnae aboot tae let mahself git buried  an? leave ye all the mead! It?s good tae see ye, Zevka. Oh an?... sorry fer smashin? intae ye like that.?

Zevka sniffed.

?Hmph, so you should be.?

But there was a smile in her eyes and Nessa knew that the marten was feeling the same way she did about seeing another friendly face in the midst of the grim setting.

?Sae, any o? the others with ye??

Her question was light, but there was an underlying darkness in her tone that acknowledged the reality of what had just happened. Zevka sighed.
?Two. Nyika was with me- the wildcat, you remember her? And there?s a young ferret called Poko, one of the players.They?re back there at the cart? She pointed a paw behind her at two figures hunched near the wreck.

?I was trying to find something edible around.?

At the mention of food, Nessa?s stomach gave a conspicuous gurgle.

?Er.... an? did ye find anythin???

?No.?

The marten?s eyes took on mischievous gleam.

?But, I do have a few of those honey roasted crickets that that little brown rat sells by the gates...but not many. My pack didn't fare so well.?

Digging a paw in the knapsack slung over her shoulder, the marten tossed Nessa three of the insects.

"Here, catch. It's not much, but having something in your stomach will help...and these are a lot better than beasts think they are!

The crickets were gone before Nessa even realized the oddness of eating insects. She?d never tasted them (it being branded as ?vermin food?) but it was too late to appreciate the crackly roasted, honeyed segments now.

?Thanks, Zevka.?

It was heartfelt for, not counting the gulf between their respective species stereotype, they?d only known each other for less than a moon and yet Zevka was sharing her meager supplies without a second thought. By common consent, they both set off for the cart, Nessa licking the last sweet bits from her muzzle and Zevka speaking quietly.

?Poko lost both her parents in the slide... There was nothing we could do- they were both dead before we got here. She's taking it about as well as anybeast can take something like that, but she'll need watching."

The young ferret was perched on the wreck in stony silence and Nessa?s heart wrenched painfully at the sight. She didn?t need Zevka to tell her what the young one had just experienced. It was just... so exactly how she?d been after she?d seen her father?s body brought in following the mountain ambush. Before she was even aware of it, she?d taken three steps towards Poko, instinctively reaching out to comfort her.

?Nessa? Is that you??

She halted, offering Poko a friendly smile instead, and turning to the young wildcat who was squinting at her like she wasn?t convinced Nessa was really there.

?Who else, Nyika? Ye alright, lassie??

?Aye,? the wildcat said, still looking unconvinced. ?Are you??

Nessa scratched her rudder impatiently. On the few occasions she?d met her on her secret visits to Zevka?s wagon, she?d always thought Nyika was sort of... odd.

??Course Ah?m fine! What-?

?Oi, Nessa, there?s a rat back here!?

Scatterbrain. She?d completely forgotten about the rat after lugging it all this way. Zevka was off a ways to the side, crouched over the rat who seemed to have rolled down the slope at a different angle. With a quick nod at Nyika, Nessa trotted off and joined her.

?Oh, that ?un- Ah?ve been carryin? her half the night. Ah dunno who she is- thought she was one o? the Guards Ah knew an? dug her out o? a braw load o? rubble. Hasnae moved a whisker since. D?ye think she?ll live??

?That?s Gashrock.?

Poko had followed up behind them, peering at the rat from beneath her hedgehog costume, while Zevka checked the rat?s pulse and chest.

?Aye, she looks fine. She must have knocked her head pretty hard- should be around any minute, I think.?

Settling back on her haunches, the otter gazed at the face of the vermin she?d saved. So much had changed in a single night- for the first time, she was away from the protection of the Guard, dumped in a world where survival depended only on her wits. Somehow it didn?t feel frightening. It felt exhilarating.

The rat?s eyelid?s fluttered open.