Character Avatars

[Vizon]

If only I had access to the gorgeous avatars people drew me back in my Terrouge days.

Aw, now that is sad. Nothing worse than lost art. Except maybe a lost community. I lost an entire sketchbook when the site "Artspots" was taken down. Tutorials and critiques too. But it's the comments and other artists that I miss the most - the interaction and the art games and exchanges. *sigh*

It's a testament to the unreliability of the internet. It's why I think people should be saving anything and everything they value on their own computers (including these stories, if they like them).

[Matra Hammer]

"It's why I think people should be saving anything and everything they value on their own computers..."

WORDS. OF. WISDOM.

Seriously, save all of your stuff. Save a copy in a work-only email account. Save a copy on a master external hard drive. Not enough scratch for a fancy external? Thumb drives. All of them. Buy a twelve pack incase the flash memory fails (which it will.)

Sounds like paranoia but the S storm will hit you too one day. Nobeast is immune. Don't know how many times I've lost article drafts, chapters, and/or journal entries because a forum died, an email account got hacked, or some other gremlin throwing wrenches.

[Cairn Destop]

Amen on the backups.  Have mine on two thumbdrives.  Worth the trouble. 

[Xorvath]

This is exciting! More Vizon art to complete my life! :)

[Vin]

Take it from me: Vizon's artwork is true 10/10.

[Vizon]

LOL, and Vin, your current avatar is a prime example of what happens when you don't provide an adequate visual description (AND let someone else "describe" you instead)! XD

[Vizon]

I've decided to start this from the bottom up so that if I don't get to the last applicants before time is up, they will still have ample reviews from the others. And to be contrary. SO. I will begin with the soldiers.


SOLDIERS:


Hisobe of the Narcu Clan

Hisobe?s condescending attitude is heavy-handed. He is confident and in control. And drives goats! He is a banker and a soldier, and an assassin. It does help that the author reminds us that the world has changed a lot since the books, and it is more likely that various vermin species have been able to prosper in ways other than villainy. I think in Atlas?s highly biased crew, though, someone might suspect a vermin to turn on them still.

Favorite Line: ?Peace removed its purpose and the hares abandoned the place.?



Morti Dulshed

At first I wasn?t sure how well a mouse would do as a soldier, but I like how in the end it is revealed that the Long Patrol is just scraping the bottom of the barrel for recruits, and even doing it in very questionable ways. This character is richly (delightfully?) flawed, which makes him interesting.
As a side note, keep in mind that the front teeth of mice grow continuously, so a missing tooth is a tricky thing. He may need a file.

Favorite Line: ??Aw Hell an? its Gates!? Morti howled, hopping around and grabbing his footpaw as he cursed some more.?




Fildering Dillwithers

Classic. This author knows their hare accents! Not to mention the general tone of Jacques?s type of fun. You can?t get much more Redwall than this. This character would be a breath of fresh air in the midst of the darker tone of this story. Very well-written.

Favorite Line: ?Wot th' devil! Gerroff, y'ballyflippin' brunchscoffin' maroons, I'll give y'vinegar'n'applesauce, by jingo!?

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Conclusion:

Although I really dig Morti, I feel like this contest needs a positive character like Fildering to help balance out the darkness and shine a little warm Redwallian light in the mix. So far the hares seem like blind, almost heartless minions the way they follow Atlas's orders in the first prologue, butchering without any sympathy.

[Vizon]

CABIN ?BOYS?:



Gordon Hagglethrump, a.k.a. Scully Craws

I like how the objects described betray Gordon?s youth despite his serious (and obsessive) research and vindictive plan. I know how impassioned adolescents can be about injustice and also that feeling that one person (beast) can change the world if they have enough passion. I like how so much is shown here rather than told ? like the favoritism/rejection of the father (who seems to be a high ranking member of the long patrol perhaps?). It?s like...he?s a home-grown insurrectionist. Or maybe assassin? I like that there?s still a hint that Gordon wishes his father would be proud of him.
Lots of dimension for such a young character. Lots of room for growth.

My favorite line: ?It was enough to know that little fluffy-cheeked Gordon played with dolls and read poetry.?




Thaddeus Churchmouse

Thaddeus seems both fun and annoying at the same time. I love how over-the-top he is, and I wish I hadn?t seen that he was a rat before I read the app. It was a good reveal at the end after all that bluster about vermin being scum of the earth! I liked how he used ?putrid moist offal? as a description, and the juxtaposition of both his alarmingly zealous hatred and his pitiful impotence. I do wonder though, if Swiftpaw recognized that he was a rat, why would he let him on Atlas?s vessel?

My favorite line: ?It didn?t explode as Thaddeus assumed it would, but his knuckles did make a sharp cracking sound and began bruising rapidly.?




Efith Delwigger

This mouse must be quite the looker! I do like how she sends them away to find adventures and maidens to kiss. It?s almost as though she?s compelled them to broaden their horizons and find someone else to fall in love with rather than fighting over her, the single most eligible maiden in their small town. In telling them to find adventure and kiss someone else who is not her, she?s setting them up not to come back, I think. The name ?Mali Winsford?  seems to come out of nowhere, though. Category feels a little forced/tacked on.

My favorite line: ?Her words floated into his ears like flower petals into his head, leaving a fragrant impression long after her voice ceased.?


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Conclusion:

I feel like this was an easier choice than the soldiers. Sure Thaddeus is fun and entertaining, but it seems like a lot more thought and consideration was put into the Gordon character. I would very much like to see where the author takes him, and also perhaps some more about how he reached his present state of mind.

[Vizon]

NAVIGATORS:


Dusker Tetch

Got lost in this one pretty quick! And I mean that in a good way ? it wasn?t confusing, it was absorbing. Very well-written. Lots of showing rather than telling and an implied history that could be fun to see expanded upon. I like that he?s a gambler too, as this is a very believable flaw as well as a great reason to seek mounds of treasure (to pay off his pursuer, that is).

Favorite Line: ?Dusker slouched back in his seat and peered down the aforementioned snout and across the sticky card table at the otter.?


Robert Rosequill

Another wonderful application that was easy to get caught up in. I love how even in 650 words or less, the author was able to make things feel easy-going and relaxed without any rush. The way these guys are presented they really feel like someone you might know ? you can sense the familiarity and friendship and it just feels natural. Reminds me of the easy-going chain-smoking guys at the shop in KC I used to take my car to. Even though no family is mentioned, they feel like ?family men? to me.

Favorite Line: It was Harold who finally broke the quiet. ?I?m surprised, Rob.?



Rail Crimsarre

Though it bothers me a little, I?ll skip dwelling on the implications of Rail being a species that came into existence because of humans and focus on the rest of the app. The slow reveal of the dire situation the two characters are in the midst of is a little disorienting ? especially in regards to distances and location, but I can appreciate the disparity between Rail?s nonchalant behavior and his mouse friend?s eagerness to panic. Rail?s ?Devil may care? attitude reminds me a bit of Dr. Who, actually, who seems to always keep his cool in even the most bizarre and dangerous situations. And who, I might add, is also merciful towards those he might regard as enemies. Unless they?re Daleks. But that?s a bit off topic. The irony of a ship called ?The Dependable? being overturned and essentially destroyed is amusing as well.

Favorite Line: Rail blinked. ??so I won?t give ?em any apples, then,? Rail said. He turned to the water-logged newcomers and winked. ?Welcome aboard the Dependable, mates!?


Conclusion:

I think I'm going with Robert on this one, simply because I really enjoyed the writing and the friendship portrayed therein. Would be nice to see a hedgehog too - I haven't really seen many of those written either here or at the other Redwall sites I used to visit, despite their being quite common in the Redwall world. Dusker was a good read too, though, so if I had a second vote, I'd put him as a very close second.

[Vizon]

NOTE on my VOTE: I am writing who my top picks are upon first impression, but I have not sent in these votes yet. Therefore, I would be willing to listen to counterpoints or defenses if anyone thinks they would like to change my mind about my conclusions in each category.

[Vizon]

Whew - I'm on a role (and staying up far too late)! Four categories down, six to go!

HEALERS:

Merriwether Cheston

Not sure whether this one is depressing or comical/light-hearted. Seems a bit rushed and a lot unlikely, but perhaps the tale is a wee exaggerated since he?s recounting to a patient ? like  big fish tale. Not feeling much of a connection to the character nor depth, but he?s cute and funny. Banjos are funny.

Favorite Line: "Oh aye, 'n' that's 'ow I wound up on a beach wid a pair o' seaslugs 'n' a starfish clutched to me chest 'n' a hare officer standin' over me, calm as y' please, waxed mustachios blowin' like fuzzy flags, 'n' he whacks th' sea outta me lungs 'n' says "Stap me, that's a real nice wreck you've survived there, me laddo.



Crue Sarish

Seems to know her herbs and medicines. Reminds me physically of Mila (studious, socially awkward squirrelmaid), but the writing is definitely different. Odd that a healer craves battle wounds to heal. I guess she?s on the right vessel if she joins the Waverunners on their mission. Guaranteed death and possible maiming.

Favorite Line: Crue Sarish bemoaned the misfortune that she was destined to work on the sea, where she would be corrected if someone was not saying her name, and chastised if someone did and she wasn?t ready for it.



Feorag Grabber

Both an actor/fraud and an authentic healer makes an interesting combination. Feorag is like one of those traveling medicine shows. Wonder how he would handle it if he couldn?t move on to another village, being stuck on a ship. He would have to be more careful, I suspect.

Favorite Line: The hissing fireplace evoked both sound and scent, and then steam condensed on their whiskers and was tasted in the air.



Conclusion:
Not sure about this category. I could yet be moved to change my mind between Feorag and Crue, but I think at this point in time, after freshly leaving off Lilith?s obsessive dissection mentality in MO2, I?m ready for something new. So Feorag is my choice currently.

[Vizon]

STOWAWAYS:

Ghost

Ohh a ninja spy gecko. Lots crammed in this one, yet it flows smoothly. Glimpse of a twisted past in a freak show, and then two major turning points that provide ample motivation for him to stow away on the Waverunner ship. What I wonder though, is if he hates Atlas, why didn?t he kill him when he was in his chambers? Then again, I guess killing a badger isn?t exactly an easy thing to do. I dig the character and the mysteriously tantalizing clues that leave the reader guessing.

Favorite Line: Leaving the cloak behind, he slithered quietly under the damp wooden structure, creeping along the underside so that the reflective, lapping water was as sky above.



Ciera

A very moving application. Once again ? so much packed into just 650 words! Much talent lies here. This is a very sympathetic story, reminding me of Les Miserables a bit with the ?stealing bread to survive? idea going on. The love between Ciera and Mykel is potent and very sweet, and the motivation of this character would make  for a strong likelihood of survival, should she make it into the contest, in my opinion. Who would want to kill the Mum of three starving children, after all? And who more deserves to find riches aplenty?

Favorite Line: With Mykel gone, she would work herself to the grave, pouring her sweat and tears into the thirsty earth to try and drown out the rumble of empty stomachs, knowing all the while that her efforts would be every bit as fruitless as the dying orchards



Plink

Another well-written app (This may be the most challenging category yet to choose a favorite)! Shades of Poko come through on this one which makes me feel an extra affinity for Plink (a wonderfully ratty name too). There?s definitely a history to her and an interesting tidbit concerning who her father may have been (Blade himself? But I guess that depends on what species he was, which is still a mystery as far as I know). The way she tenderly discards the torn skirt, thinking of her Mum is sweetly sentimental and undermines her tough rough exterior. She misses her Mom, poor kid. *sigh*



Conclusion:
This is a very hard decision. I do like Plink very much, but because she reminds me so much of Poko, I feel that it?s been done (though it could certainly be done differently). That leaves Ciera and Ghost, who are such different characters, it makes it very hard to compare them. Ghost fits so snuggly into this category ? it?s kind of like ? what ELSE could he be but a secret spy stow-away? Ciera ends up a stow-away as an act of desperation rather than intention. But Ciera?s character is so very tragic, and I do love tragic characters. And again, the writing is quite compelling. But then again, Ghost is a bit tragic himself with his early exploitation, then finding freedom/friendship and having that sole ally taken away as well (I assume the ?HE? is Captain Blade?).
Then again, nothing tugs on a Mom?s heart strings quite like starving babies. But is that important to this story? Ciera?s tale is powerful and emotionally impacting, but what comes next? Surely if/when she is discovered on the ship, she will not find mercy in Atlas?s eyes. Would she try to assassinate him before being discovered, out of vengeance?
The strongest incentive to vote Ciera in is so that we can see how her personal story ends rather than how she might contribute to the larger story. Ghost already seems intricately involved and it could be very interesting to have a beast that knows every character?s secrets behind closed doors. Would Atlas treat Ghost with any more mercy than Ciera if he is discovered? Probably not. But he is less likely to be discovered, seeing as he blends into wood so well and the entire ship will be made out of wood. Heck, since he?s a gecko and sticks to walls, he could even hang out on the outside hull if things got too dangerous on deck.
Truly I would be happy with any of these characters.

[Vizon]

CAPTAINS:



Skiz

It?s funny, even though he?s a pirate and he?s attacking another pirate ship (something even pirates would consider ?wrong?), I still find myself liking Skiz. I have to wonder if he actually killed the former captain, though, which makes him a lot more dangerous and a lot less noble-seeming, which actually is quite fitting for a pirate. If he becomes the captain of the Silver Maiden, he will be killing its former captain as well, so either way, he?s a pirate-murdering pirate who cannot be trusted even by his own crew. I wonder if he keeps the crew on the Silver Maiden after attacking or if he makes them all prisoners and dumps them at the next port, hiring new beasts to fill any empty roles. Or worse ? slays them all. 

Favorite Line: Skiz paused. In the old world, a pirate would never fight another pirate. But this wasn't the old world. This was Atlas Stormstripe's world, and you had to be ready to do anything to survive.


Captain Ciera Ancora

It would be odd having two Cieras. Then again, maybe one pronounces their name like ?Sierra? and the other pronounces their?s ?Seera?? Still?could be confusing. Or amusing.
A nice contrast to the last app. Ciera says the line between herself and Greyjaw is blurring, but from what I can see, she was unusually lenient on a traitor, letting him not only live, but be cared for, fed, and allowed to continue working. This seems to have a lot to do with his age, as she apparently has a child (or is very close to a child) of a similar age. Hence the softness that DOES continue to separate her from other heartless cutthroats, despite what she says. Not to mention the whole ?necessary evil? bit. Her goal is somewhat noble (survival of sorts), and she obviously cares for her crew (unlike say?a pirate like Captain Hook.)

Favorite Line: There were others who?d have gladly done the torturing, which was why she hadn?t let them.


Valencia

Ah, another female ferret captain! I am pretty sure she is from Pirates of the Caribbean, though. The author captured the spirit of Tia Dalma well in ferret form. It is an interesting character and accent, and of course ? very piratey!


Favorite Line: Then she lit the ring of candles set in a wide circle around the pot, sat inside, closed her eyes, and waited.



Conclusion:
I think this one is between Skiz and Ceira. Do we want a backstabbing pirate captain, or a sensitive, yet tough captain who feels the burden of the responsibility of leadership? Honestly I could go either way, but I think I am leaning toward Skiz for two reasons. 1. He seems more pirate-like the way he can?t really be trusted, and 2. He won?t get mixed up with Ciera the stow-away, should she get in the contest (which I think she has a good chance of doing). Not the best reasons, but that?s where I?m at presently.

[Vizon]

QUARTERMASTERS:



Pasha Shapalashi

This marine iguana seems a long way from home. I like her. She earns my respect and my sympathy, despite being a slave-driving, mammal-hating egotist. Something?s going on with her and like Matra said, I think maybe she?s been looking for a place to lay her eggs. I?m not sure I agree that she?s losing her eggs?maybe about to lay them. Then she?s got a bunch of fragile eggs in a hotel room? I wonder if she?d carry them around with her then. Lord have mercy on the beast that bumps into her and smooshes them! https://youtu.be/cv8UBawVMGs?t=104

Favorite Line: Not that she couldn?t speak their strange tongue, but it was ugly. Ugly to her ears, as she was to their eyes.



Morra Sharptongue

Clever lazy ferret. She sounds like she?s supremely manipulative, but also bored. With three characters squeezed in, it?s hard to get a deeper feel for Morra beyond that though. Lots of room for expansion yet.
I liked the substitute four-letter word!

Favorite Line: Mr. Kril was unfazed. ?I already have their respect. I ain?t the only one sick o? yer spit.?


Vasily Izhets

Liar liar, pants on fire. So what IS the background of Vasily? We have some clues, assuming he is at the least thinking the truth. He is out to either seek his sister or rescue someone, and is willing to use any means to get where he needs to go. I do have to wonder how he can both know nothing about ships and also have been a quartermaster previously. Unless he was a quartermaster on land, perhaps? Still, to have a quartermaster who doesn?t really know ships?what about directions and naval maps? I fear the Silver Maiden may become impossibly lost under his guidance?

Favorite Line: With creative curses ringing in his ears he sprinted up the plank and jumped on board just before it completely separated from the ship.

Conclusion:

This one I feel was pretty easy, in that I feel I learned a lot more about the first character. Pasha has an interesting history, a somewhat mysterious goal, and a unique, anti-mammalian perspective. Vasily has a mysterious goal too, but for some reason I am not as intrigued, as there is not the same kind of build-up. We really don?t learn much about him at all except that he?s a pathological liar. I believe more was done with Pasha?s application, and I liked the descriptions and her reserved personality most.

[Matra Hammer]

The face at 1:49 of the video? Me. The 'huh-wuh?' of terror and/or not enough coffee. Doctor Who is a strange and wonderful world I can't find my place in.

Our reviews are finally crossing. Been meaning to say this, but, man, Feorag's kicks are stylin' for miles! And I'm struggling with the same decision on the captain front. A traditional barn-storming muckabout like Skiz will really keep the story afloat, but Ciera might pay off more depending on the author's capabilities. Tough decision.

Also, will you do a final vote reveal? You've mentioned who you lean towards in your conclusions, but I'm putting out feelers on whether or not peeps are down for the "here are my cards."