The Tube

[SonikBoomTube]

THE NAVIGATORS

Dusker Tetch
You can't win if you don't play.

Character
A hapless gambler, Dusker is always playing the odds, even with other people. But is he a good read? Sometimes, it seems.

As a navigator he's very knowledgeable. . . of how to read the stars? Like, as in astrology? Not astronomy? I'm a little confused about that, but it can kinda work. He'll be superstitious with the crew, but they'll put up with him because he also wants what they want: treasure!

Writing
Solid writing. Dusker's got a distinct voice, and the dialogue throughout was very entertaining to read. The writer sets up Dusker's motivation very nicely, if not a bit bluntly at the end.


Personal Interest
Dusker is a nice character. He's a gambler, but one you kind of want to succeed even though it's bad for him. I'd like to know more about him, like his past with Redwall and just how the whole star reading thing fits into everything.


Robert Rosequill
Or rather, Rosechill

Character
An easy going hedgehog, Robert's a friendly beast who wants to do what he does, superstitions be damned.

As a navigator, Robert is the only one of the three to directly mention it, and even tells us how he feels about it, which is "easy". He certainly seems like he'll do well with the other 
Writing
It was a nice set up. Two friends drinking and talking about their pasts. It worked letting us know a bit of Robert's age and how he feels about sailing these days, and the whole thing really showed off the chill attitude Robert has.
It was mostly just talk however, without too much else. It was good talk, but simple talk nonetheless.


Personal Interest
I like Robert a lot. He's easy going and friendly, and I'm wondering how that attitude will serve him in an adventurous tale with bloodthirsty(?) pirates. I also want to know more about his past, and especially why he's still out there sailing.


Rail Crimsarre
The dingo ate your apple.

Character
Swashbuckling in his veins, Rail lives and breaths adventure. He's so used to it, he's not even totally aware it's going on right behind him sometimes.

He's a navigator because. . .I'm not sure. I'm sure navigators would get into the fray themselves too because hey, it's one more body but I don't really see it here. I don't know why Rail would be navigating when he could be a soldier. However, his roguish nature would be a new spin on navigating and we'll see how strange his interactions with the other characters would be.

Writing
The dialogue was absolute fun. The app absolutely knew how to use it, and it's probably my favorite in all the categories. It portrayed Rail's Jack Sparrowness perfectly, and the narrative helped add more color in the backdrop with lines like "a crimson splash fell down on the duo" and "a sudden shriek that ended as a wet gurgle".


Personal Interst
I really, really, really wanted to dig him more. But alas, yes, he's a dingo, and yes, I can't agree with that. WHY? Why is he a dingo? I just can't bring myself to let a dingo, one who's specifically Australian for some reason, into the Redwall universe.  He's super fun though, with probably the coolest name out there too.

Overall
If Dingo was like a hare or something he'd be the winner, but as it is Robert feels strongest with the most potential for the story. Dusker's a close second, but there are quite a bit of lovable rogues as there is, and not many grounded characters like Robert.

[Vizon]

I really, really, really wanted to dig him more. But alas, yes, he's a dingo, and yes, I can't agree with that. WHY? Why is he a dingo? I just can't bring myself to let a dingo, one who's specifically Australian for some reason, into the Redwall universe.  He's super fun though, with probably the coolest name out there too.

If Dingo was like a hare or something he'd be the winner

I can guarantee that Rail's author, whoever they might be, is wishing very hard that they had made him some other animal. As others have said, he could easily be any other creature, as there is nothing particularly dog-like about him in the writing itself. It's just that one word after "species" at the top that doomed the entire application, which is a real shame. It really would be nice if people could say "I vote for Rail, but he'd better be a different species in the story if he gets in." It is too bad that the apps have to be this set in stone, when everywhere else there are options for edits and suggested changes. For people who are new to Redwall too, it is a very hard/harsh way to get inducted. Yes, you write well enough, but we're rejecting you because you chose the wrong species of animal - surprise!

It would be nice if there was a little give and the apps were not so absolute - more of a sample rather than a prologue. Or maybe if the judges had told this writer before posting it publicly that "dingo" could doom his or her application, and given them the option to change it, they might have changed it. Does this happen behind the scenes? I guess I don't really know. Airan?

[Rascal]

Poor dingo. No love at ALL.

Well at least one person shall come to his defense!

People did say in the begining that they wanted to see something exotic, though they most likely expected lizards and birds, a dingo is pretty exotic.

You have to wonder what beasts think of something so rare.

"Is he tall fox with short fur and no bushy tail? He eats meat! Does that make him vermin? Madness! Maddness we say!"

To be fair it is going to be hard for a dingo to get into a woodlander army, especially the badger lords.

But I am going to bank on the belief that the writer had an idea in mind as to how he got on the ship. We see in the emd of his app that he is adrift at sea so there is the possibility that he might be picked up by the badger lord and then most likely offer his services as a navigator.

After all he only has to start as a navigator. There is no rule he can become a prisoner in the first round.

Or he fails miserably and we get to see the badgers cruelty by making the dingo the stories first victim. :p

Thats my theory at least. Point is though that we should remember that what we see in the apps isnt all that we get. The writers, presumably, had a plan as to how their characters would work :)

[Airan]

It would be nice if there was a little give and the apps were not so absolute - more of a sample rather than a prologue. Or maybe if the judges had told this writer before posting it publicly that "dingo" could doom his or her application, and given them the option to change it, they might have changed it. Does this happen behind the scenes? I guess I don't really know. Airan?

I never asked Rail to swap his species, no. I think it's the author's freedom to choose the species they deem appropriate for their character. However, with every applicant I assumed that they would know that doing a unique non-canon species would be a risk that would need to be done carefully. Both Pasha and Ghost could have potentially been ruined by their species, but both apps take the time to set up why they're in Mossflower and why they need to be these species to work. Also, I wouldn't really say any application is doomed. Weirder things have happened, such as in Redscape where Trogdor the Burninator won the Wolverine category.

[SonikBoomTube]

People did say in the begining that they wanted to see something exotic, though they most likely expected lizards and birds, a dingo is pretty exotic

Yeah, and these are just my thoughts, and if everyone else is accepting that's cool. I just kind of feel that the more exotic animals chosen are the author trying to lean on the cool gimmick rather than the strength of their own character, and that gives me less faith in their character too. It's just disheartening all around to me.

And I'm not totally sure if they were  given the option to change either, Vizon. It is pretty bad we don't really know if we can persuade them to change their species, since we don't really know how to ask them specifically or if they're willing :/

[Vizon]

"Is he tall fox with short fur and no bushy tail? He eats meat!

He eats apples, actually.


Maybe Rail's a vegan.

Weirder things have happened, such as in Redscape where Trogdor the Burninator won the Wolverine category.

LOL - really? That's hilariously absurd!

You're right about letting people choose exotics if they want, though (especially if they're not newbie Redwall writers). Being an animal enthusiast, I actually do enjoy seeing more variety, as there is quite a variety of unique and amazingly cool animals in the world. And you're also right that there isn't really a way to know for sure that an app will do be doomed.

[Airan]

LOL - really? That's hilariously absurd!

You'd probably have to ask Nallmian/Zevka for specifics as to whether he actually won the vote or not, but yeah, Trogdor won the category, though he did change his name to Ikarus when the contest officially started.

However, a name change is a bit simpler than a species change, and again, if he has specific reasons for him being a dingo, that's fine, and I'm all for Rail's author having the freedom to make his character a dingo if he wanted him to be one.

[Lilith]

LOL - really? That's hilariously absurd!

You'd probably have to ask Nallmian/Zevka for specifics as to whether he actually won the vote or not, but yeah, Trogdor won the category, though he did change his name to Ikarus when the contest officially started. .

That event was truly wonderful, in part because we managed to find the last remaining person on the internet unfamiliar with Trogdor. That poor applicant was so confused why we all found it funny...

And then later on in the story he used some Molotov cocktails, which in retrospect makes the early name seem rather prophetic

[SonikBoomTube]

THE CABIN BOYS

Gordon Hagglethrump
Kidnap the Scully Craws, see what makes him tick

Character
Gordon's a few days short of a March hare.

. . .

He's crazy, is what I'm saying. A determined youth, he has a strong desire to prove himself a pirate because he's not a soldier, DAD. He feels the surefire way to do this is to end Atlas's terrible reign and bring glory back to the pirates.
Gordon straight up volunteers himself to become a cabin boy specifically to get close to Atlas and to spite his father.

Writing
The writing is nice. I liked the puppet thing, showing himself preferring the pirate over the soldier. It was suitably weird, if not a bit silly.

Personal Interest
Creepy kids are hard to do, and I?m not fully convinced it?ll work out here. But, there?s room for him to change and realize he?s probably not right in the head and the other characters can save Gordon from himself, which?ll be nice to see.

Thaddeus Churchmouse
I proclaim we kill the vermin! LOUDLY do I proclaim!

Character
A self-hating rat, Thaddeus is a young adult vermin who?s life?s purpose is to purge the world, nay the universe, of all evil vermin. He is very loud about it.

He, like Gordon, volunteers himself to become cabin boy, and interestingly at an older than the other two app?s age. An older cabin boy would be interesting, and helping even out the ages if Plink makes it on as well.

Writing
Thaddeus?s rantings and ravings were the highlight of the app. It was incredibly enjoyable to read and well written, with Swiftpaw?s reactions playing up the humor nicely. BUT. . .it got old so fast. . .one rant was great, two was ok, but three was overkill and Thad got annoying quick.
There was also the weird perspective change, which was jarring and shouldn?t really happen.

Personal Interest
He was shaping up to be my favorite until that third tirade. . .I don?t think I could handle him doing that the entire contest. I don?t think he would either, but aside from the gimmick I don?t know much else about him.


Efith Delwigger
Brother to Renee Delwigger.

Character
Efith is a young rabbit lad who?s smitten by the beauty of an older. . .mouse(?)maid, and has taken her quest to travel the world to win her love.

Writing
This app is incredibly confusing. Not only is Efith not really a focus at all, but characters come in and out randomly and are elaborated on way more than the main character is himself. The final two lines are the most confusing of all. Who?s Mali Winford?!

Though I would like to point out the flower petals line is incredibly good, and wish there was way more of that. More of that and focus entirely on Efith and what he thinks.

Personal Interest
I. . .really don?t like this one. My main issue is with the whole set up itself. Three little boys are all love-struck by the older mousemaid, and when they talk to her she gives them a weird ye olde timey quest, and the best of the three ?wins? her hand in marriage. The problem is that this is played completely straight, without any irony. I think? Again, it?s all very confusing.

Overall
I think Thad and Efith are so heavily flawed that Gordon?s the winner here, though if Thad did make it in there's room for him to grow so long as he just immediately drops the shouting thing.

[SonikBoomTube]

[/quote]
That event was truly wonderful, in part because we managed to find the last remaining person on the internet unfamiliar with Trogdor. That poor applicant was so confused why we all found it funny...

And then later on in the story he used some Molotov cocktails, which in retrospect makes the early name seem rather prophetic
[/quote]

I gotta say, I first learned of Trogdor through that debacle myself XD It was quite the learning experience for the two of us. Luckily though, no one else knew. Until. . .now. . .

[SonikBoomTube]

THE SOLDIERS

Hisobe of the Narcu Clan
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

Character
An assassin soldier banker, Hisobe is tasked by the Long Patrol to kill Atlas and replace him with a better, more suitable leader. And get the gold. Hisobe is determined to do so, and has the confidence to do so.

He's supposedly a soldier for Atlas, but how? He?s a ferret first of all, so how he?s going to get into Atlas?s army, much less his ship, is a sight to see. He?ll have to convince the cast to join him or do it himself.

He also has goats.

Writing
The whole app felt like a Dungeons and Dragons encounter. It was really well written, but the characters and dialogue felt so soulless. Narcu said "I am this, I do that, I will do this" and the hare said "Good." It was just so procedural that it's not absorbing at all.

It also just. . .ends. Like that.

Personal Interest
To be honest, I actually don't mind the DnD type writing here. It makes Hisobe seem matter of fact and "on mission", but to make it work Hisobe himself still needs to be interesting and he just isn't to me.

Morti Dulshed
He's a bum. He has no shoes.

Character
A drunken loser, Morti is a mouse who takes whatever chance he can get to better his own circumstance. Unfortunately not the most graceful of mice, Morti is also his own worst enemy.

It works out, rather conveniently, at the end for Morti to become a soldier once he's forced into it by the Long Patrol. Seeing how he fits in with the cast as a reluctant soldier could be interesting.

Writing
Morti himself is a funny guy, with amusing inner thoughts and dialogue. There isn't much to it other than just him, though, so we don't know much about his ambitions or goals other than "oooh money."

The writing itself is rather so-so, with decent description if not a confusing setting full of empty places.

It also just sort of ends abruptly, too, with a random hare to take him out.
Personal Interest
I do like his character, and he could bring a lot of funny interactions with other characters through his most likely failings as a soldier.


Fildering Dillwithers
Oh I?ll filder your dillwithers. . .

Character
Fildering is a hare. A daring hare full of want for adventure, and he?s gonna get it, too, with a smile on his face.

He?ll make the perfect soldier, too, as he simply wants to be one.

Writing
DAT ACCENT. It was a blast to read his silly hare accent, and it was easily the best part. There wasn?t much to Fildering himself besides the accent, but it still works in his favor. The opening scene is fun and the Badger?s dialogue was also super fun. I was a bit disappointed in her final ?Your heart will know the way? though. . . it kinda killed her funny sarcastic attitude.

Personal Interest
I really dig the accent and the dialogue. It just made the whole thing an entertaining read. He would also be another one of the really malleable characters and could either change over the course the story or try to stay a true, noble hero hare. It should be interesting to see which of the two he chooses, if not something else entirely.

Overall
I think all three are rather middling apps, with Morti and Fildering showing the most personality. Fildering overall had the best dialogue of the two, and much better writing.

[SonikBoomTube]

. . .I somehow managed to make an all new, identical thread.

Can this be fixed? I hope it can. . . :twitch:

[Airan]

I'll talk to Tara about it if she's available.

[Opal]

Merged! :)