We Are Going to Have a Most Wonderful Party

[Vasily Izhets]

In retrospect, Vasily?s plan had one major flaw: any crew stupid enough to let him on no questions asked probably wasn't very smart at anything else either.

?The captain?ll be seein? you now,? growled the rat at his back, shoving him forwards.

Vasily stumbled, slipped on the blood coating the deck, and did a magnificent faceplant onto the gore-smeared wood. The rat laughed.

Vasily ignored her, ran to the railing, and returned the fish he?d eaten for lunch to its original home.

?Haha! Yer an odd one, ain?t ya? Ya dish it out, but ya can?t take it.?

?Yes, yes, that was me, fearless warrior,? he muttered. That was a lie, of course; after his crewmates had shoved him first over the gangplank he?d spent the remainder of the fight hiding in a barrel, and had been caught trying to sneak back over after it became clear his side had lost. And now he was a captive aboard the Silver Maiden. It looked cleaner than the Deadwake had been, apart from all the blood, but he doubted he?d have long to experience the amenities. Best case scenario he spent some time as a galley slave, then jumped ship once they made landfall, but he didn?t actually know how to pick locks and doubted he?d last that long anyway.

Well, that?s a pretty pitiful end to this whole adventure. She was probably right about me, for once in her life.

After a while Vasily noticed that instead of heading towards the captain?s cabin, his captor steered him deeper into the ship?s hold, and soon they came to a closed door. The smell of blood was far stronger than it should have been so far from the upper deck. The wildcat felt his throat dry.

The rat knocked on the door. ?Cap?n? I got their Quartermaster for ya. He looks like a fearsome one, better keep yer eyes on him, haha!?

"Come in," the unseen occupant replied, and so they did.

The room was sparsely furnished, only containing a few crates, a chair, and a ferret, the last of which sucked his eyes towards her immediately. She wasn?t particularly large or menacing, but her cold stare emitted such an aura of authority and cruelty that Vasily felt himself go weak at the knees.

She gestured towards the chair, and he noticed that it already had ropes tied to it. So it was one of those kind of meetings. Only one thing for it, then.

Vasily flung himself to the ground, pressing his forehead into the spot directly in front of the ferret?s boots. ?I didn?t kill any of your crew, I swear! Greyjaw was an incompetent fool, I?m not going to die for him. Ask me anything, I promise on my life I?ll tell you everything I know!?

And if necessary, several things he didn?t know. He wanted to be a survivor, not an information broker.

He felt the lip of her boot go under his forehead, then it lifted his head up so that she was looking down directly into his eyes. Vasily felt like he was going to throw up again.

?Where?s the Deadwake heading?? she asked.

Oh thank Fates, an easy one. ?Captain Blade?s hidden treasure island. Greyjaw claimed we were only a few weeks away.?

?What was your course??

?South, definitely south! Um?? Vasily gulped. He still knew absolutely nothing about navigation. The Captain?s eyes narrowed.

?Wait, waitwaitwait! Your beasts captured our lookout, he?ll know more than I do! Another cat, young, name of Figgins. Greyjaw told him which landmarks to look for.? I think.

She removed her foot from his chin, and beckoned him to rise. Then she punched him in the gut.

The wildcat emitted a small groan as he sank back to the floor. He? probably deserved that.

?I lost a good quartermaster in that fight. You are going to be a better quartermaster,? she said, leaving off the obvious ?or else.? ?I?m going to assign one of my crew to assist you in your duties until you prove you can be trusted. Now, you?re dismissed; go and get cleaned up.?

Vasily grabbed the arm of the chair and hoisted himself up, then gave a weak salute. ?Aye, Captain...?

?Ciera. Ciera Ancora.? She then turned around, which he took as his cue to leave.

As he wobbled out of the room, the rat from earlier passed him and he could hear Ciera ordering her to bring in Figgins. Vasily could only hope that the kid spilled his guts quickly, and that this new Captain liked what she heard.

Not for the first time he questioned whether this whole ordeal was really worth it, and once again he promised himself that it was.

***

?All right, this is the last one,? said Vasily, slapping the top of the barrel for emphasis and holding up a coin in his other paw. ?Heads I win, tails you lose.?

As the small copper disc spun into the air in front of the cat, his companion?s eyes never left his face. Vasily gulped; Vera Silvertooth, as a cook, was theoretically subordinate to the Quartermaster, but he was about the only beast on the crew she could claim seniority over, meaning pulling rank was useless for either of them. However, her stare was filled with spiders and hellfire.

The coin clattered to the ground between the cat and the fox. Vasily picked it up and forced a grin. ?Haha, that was a lie. I?ll test it, I?ll test it.?

Vera nodded. ?Good. I?ve got a tuna to get back to. I left it marinating in garlic, oil, and just a pinch of hotroot. It should be just about perfect, but if it sits too much longer, it won?t be fit to serve anybeast!?

The cat cupped his paws under the spigot and the vixen opened it up, sending a small waterfall splashing into his impromptu cup. Vasily lowered his head, noted the ripples caused by his shaking paws, and lapped up the clear, fresh water.

The pair sat down on opposite crates and waited silently. After about a minute, Vera asked, ?Well, you dying??

?Nope. Looks like whatever killed Ginson wasn?t from down here, at least.?

?How many barrels was that??

Vas pulled out a stained, crumpled manifest. ?Seventeen? plus four crates of dried meat, two of vegetables, and? far more biscuits than I want to know. ?Gates, what a way to spend an afternoon.?

?Poor thing... Though I tested far more than you and I wasn?t scared.?

?Right? right, you weren?t.? Vasily narrowed his eyes, then opened them wide and sat up. ?Hey, did you check the food in the kitchen??

The fox tilted her head. ?What, was I supposed to? I?ve just been feeding it to the crew like normal.?

Vasily blinked. ?Well? that?s? fine, I guess. I don?t know why the Captain made us do this anyway, it was pretty obviously an intentional killing.?

?Some of the crew were worried that one of the beasts from your old ship had stowed away and were sabotaging us.?

?Nobeast is that loyal to Greyjaw, I could have told them that?? Vas marked the final ?x? on the manifest with a piece of charcoal and raised himself from his seat. ?Well, I?m going to go report to the Captain now. You can go back to your kitchen to? caress the vegetables, or whatever it is you do on your free time.?

?Preparing the tuna for you ungrateful lot,? she shot back as they ascended the stairs to the upper deck.

?Oh, right. You better save some of that for me, I put my life of the line for you.?

?I?ll save you the eyes.?

They parted ways after they stepped into the dense fog that had engulfed the upper deck, but as Vera headed off to the galley Vasily could have sworn her step had an extra bounce in it, and her tail an extra swish. It was tempting to judge her strange for loving her craft above all else, but Vas could understand her thinking.

Well, that was a lie. Food was food; eat it, and it?s gone. Vera was an odd beast, but a clever one for catching the ?I win, you lose? trick.

Thankfully, not clever enough to notice that he?d used a double-headed coin for all the recently-opened barrels.

***

?Vasily Izhets reporting, Captain.?

?Come in.?

He stepped through the door with his wide blue hat in his paws, shivering as he crossed the threshold. He knew that he felt cold every time he entered the Captain?s cabin, but wasn?t sure whether it was from fear or because Ciera Ancora?s coat was said to suck all light and heat out of a room. Just because he?d started that rumor didn?t make it any less true.

?By the fact that you?re not dragging a corpse I take it the hold must have come up clean.?

?Aye, ma?am. All the foods Ginson had for his last meal were safe when they left the hold, at least.?

There was a pause, during which Vasily remembered every single item from the stores he?d bartered away. It was quite an impressive list for only being on the crew for a couple of months. Then Ciera asked, ?How?s Vera feeling about the tuna??

?I?ve seen mothers less proud of their kits, why??

The ferret leaned forward on to her desk, spreading out her arms. ?The crew is getting restless, Quartermaster. We sighted land today, but a lot of wreckage is passing the ship as we get closer to the island, on top of all this poisoning business. Therefore, in order to take everybeast's mind off such unpleasant things, we are going to have a party tonight. Bring up a few casks of grog, celebrate our imminent landfall over some drinks and Vera?s pride and joy.?

A slow smile spread across Vasily?s face. ?Ahhh, I see. Sounds like good fun; I?m looking forward to it already.?

?I should hope so, you?re setting it up. Dismissed.?

***

The thing about ships, Vasily had quickly learned, is that they required near-constant effort to be kept functional. On top of all the riggings and ropes and other devices he still didn?t know the names of, the crew themselves required an incredible amount of maintenance. Things were different back on the plantation; all he had to do was count boxes and sell them to merchants at exorbitant prices, and he had slaves to do the heavy lifting.

Here, he had to be a bit more creative.

?Oy! Chak, mate!?

The otter nodded to one of his assistants and walked over to Vas, clapping the cat on the shoulder.

?Ahoy, matey! What be ye adoin? down ?ere??

?Chak my friend, do you like grog??

His furry brows knitted together like mating worms. ?That a trick question? O?course I do.?

Vasily grinned. ?Glad to hear it! In that case, how would you like to assist me in handling large amounts of that good stuff in preparation for a most wonderful party tonight??

There was a pause.

?Tell it ter me straight, Vas.?

?I need you to help me move barrels.?

?Arrr, why didn?t ye say so? Aye, I cain help ye with that.?

?Ah, thanks. Follow me, it?s over here in the hold??

?Ya know, Vas,? commented Chak as they walked, ?ye never did tell me what yer gonna do with yer share o? the treasure.?

?Oh right, we were discussing that yesterday, weren?t we?? All Vasily remembered was that the conversation had ended with him giving one of his companions an empty vegetable sack in exchange for an old metal flask.

?Yarr, so ya got an answer??

?Of course.? Not. ?What kind of pirate would I be if I didn?t??

?But ye ain? a pirate,? commented the otter, lifting a full barrel of grog with ease. Vasily contented himself with a three-quarters empty one and they began the journey to the upper deck.

?Damn, is it that obvious??

?Aye,? came the flat reply.

?Well, you?re not wrong; the River Moss was as much water as anybeast in my family?s seen until now. And now two of us are sailing. Funny, that.?

?Fates, there be another one o? ye out thar? The world b?ain?t prepared.?

Vasily set down his barrel and drummed his fingers on the lid. ?Well, we?re pretty different for siblings. She?s evil, I?m the most charming beast you?ll ever meet? But family, you know? Some things are important.?

?Yarrr.? The otter nodded.

?So you must have something to say about that,? he probed as they descended again. Chak?s past was largely an enigma to the cat, as well as the entire crew. He?d somehow made it out of the oarbanks without a burning desire to emancipate his brethren, and Vasily had seen enough woodlanders? reactions to slavery to know that wasn?t normal.

?Nay, not really. Jus? agreein? with ye.?

Take the bait, why don?t you? I?m sure you?ve got a horrible story for every one of those scars, and I need to know what keeps you from strangling us all at night! Grudges don?t vanish like a manor after a fire-

?So tell me about this sister o' yers, matey.?

The unexpected request caught Vasily off guard, causing him to bump his knee on the table he was carrying. ?Why do you ask??

?Ye be sayin? she?s ?evil,? like ye don? git along, yet ye be sailin? after ?er. What be the story thar??

The cat laughed, with an edge of bitterness to it. ?Why, it?s the classic heroic tale you?ve heard enough times to make you sick. A bunch of pirates went upriver to buy some slaves from our plantation, we didn?t like their prices, a fight started, they kidnapped my sister to use instead, and I left my dear friend behind to go chasing after her.?

?Ah.? He paused. ?So how be she evil?? 

?Oh, that was a lie. Really, she's a wonderful beast.? Lie. ?Gracious and grateful to everybeast.? Lie. ?She means more to me than anyone else in the world.? Lie lie LIE-

Chak chuckled. ?Aw, that be real nice. Well, here?s ta findin? ?er, matey.?

?Aye, though it?s been so long I don?t even know what I?d say to her.?

Of course, that was a lie.

?HALT, and drop anchor!? came the call from up in the crow?s nest, accompanied by four chimes of the ship's bell. Chak put down his barrel next to the others and looked back towards the hold.

??need ta pull up the oars an? feed the slaves. Be ye alright takin? it from ?ere??

Vasily look around at the impressive quantity of alcohol they - mostly Chak - had managed to bring up. ?Should be all right, thanks for the help, mate. I?ll be saving a seat and a drink for you later!?

?Arrr, ye don? ?ave ta tell me twice!?

As the sea otter disappeared below deck, Vas took the opportunity to lie down on a nice coil of rope and take advantage of the small ray of the setting sun that forced its way through the clouds and the fog.

?Aaah? this is the life.?