Favorite Contestants from Prior Survivors

[Tooley Bostay]

Recently, I've been reading through a number of the Survivor contests. As a fresh newcomer to the scene, I've had a lot of fun discovering these old stories, particularly in seeing each of the super diverse, varied casts. You guys an' gals are wild creative with these characters, and I thought it was high time to open up a thread to reminisce about favorites from prior contests!

There's no real structure to this if you all want to join in, but I'm going with a top five due to me not reading too many of the contests. My pool of choices come from Redwall: Lockdown, Questors Bold III and IV, Midnight Mossflower, and of course, Mossflower Odyssey III, so I'm very likely missing out on some wonderful characters that I simply haven't read yet. Also, these opinions are highly colored by taste, and are not meant to say that the characters were the best overall, but rather were the most enjoyed by me as I read the story. With that in mind, expect some spoilers as I share my thoughts.

• Skara, from QBIV.
  Skara stood, wineglass in paw, and prodded him with one footpaw. He didn't move. The now undisputed greatest assassin sipped her wine. And smiled.
  With an amazing app, Skara hooked me from the start. Ambitious, clever, and always wary, Skara really stood out for her author's excellent wordplay. Moreover, her relationship with Gabbi was a joy to read, acting as a wonderful foil as their bond developed.
  She's this high up on the list mostly because it's actually been years since I read QBIV (it was one I read before applying to MOIII), and I'm simply not that fresh on all the details.


• Torry Steggims, from QBIII.
  This was Torry's first market day in the new town, and it looked like he was going to do a good job.
  This was the very first contest I read, and Torry helped solidify my desire to join in on the fun. It's been a while, so I'm sadly foggy on the particulars, but I was just very drawn to this poor stoat's story. I greatly enjoyed seeing all the bonds he formed, and how he ended up leading the story despite his humble beginnings. I remember that Torry's author was particularly excellent in his character interactions, and all in all, this was what helped show me just how much fun these contests were. Funnily enough, I see a lot of Torry in Tooley. Nothing on purpose, but perhaps I was unconsciously inspired. Would absolutely love to see Torry's author show up again and see how time has bettered his writing skill.


• Saveaux, from MM.
  Piteous creature, forgive me. Being privileged with naught but artfully constructed tomes previous has made me blind to the tribulations of a novice writer.
  What an absolutely inspired character concept. Bookish characters have been done before, but Saveaux's peculiar brand of narrative-influenced thought process brought something new to the table - like how he refers to heroes in books to guide him through the confusion and horror he faces within the castle. The genius stroke comes from his near-mute status. Brilliant example of using a character's weakness to make them memorable and give them worthy challenges to overcome, whilst also accentuating their strengths.
  The fact that Saveaux did not make top 3 baffles me utterly. I'll not begrudge any of the top 3 for their earned wins, but dang did Saveaux deserve a spot among the victors. A job very well done, and cut too short.


• Plink, from MOIII
  Plink wasn't just any gutter-licking whelp. She was the daughter of a mighty corsair, a true terror of the high seas, and one day she would be feared and renowned, too.
  MOIII is a hard contest for me to be objective on, given I was a part of it. Even now, it's hard to "distance" myself from it. One thing that always stood out to me, week after week, though, was Plink's writing. Her artful use of description was smooth as butter, and only increased in quality the further along the story went. Among already a cast of very capable authors, Plink's always felt like I was reading some gripping novel--they just had a weight and tangibility to them. This transferred especially to Plink's character, watching the to and fro as she wavered between piracy and her search for acceptance. An excellent example of an author's skill simply raising up their character to a higher level. Good show, Plinkers.


• Nallmian, from MM.
  Maybe a working holiday was just what Nallmian needed. Certainly, it had the potential to be interesting. Nallmian had always liked variety.
  Hands down, my favorite character in any contest I've read so far. From the start, Nallmian is absolutely hilarious to read, managing to make torture scenes of all things be funny. Beyond just power-of-personality, there's also a surprising amount of depth to him. From diving further into his psyche through the crippling nightmares, to the building intrigue of whether or not he was sent to the castle on purpose, to his black-and-white "do to them as they did to me" worldview beginning to be challenged through the events that unfold. Through it all, Nallmian's author makes wonderful use of contrasting elements (the nightmares countered by the brown powder, which only introduces another problem via sleep deprivation). Furthermore, the author shows a capable hand in the art of constructing a scene, excellently balancing little character moments while still advancing the plot forward in new ways. I couldn't wait to see how his story unfolded.
  ...and then he goes and dies. In Round FIVE. What the HECK, audience??? I was incredibly surprised that Saveaux did not make top 3, but Nallmian's death was on a whole other level. I'd definitely like to figure out what the reason was for him getting the boot, because dang dude... I liked Nallmian a lot. =(

And, as a brief Honorable Mentions list:

• Chak, from MOIII
  While Plink was my more subjective favorite, I loved Chak, and think his win was well-deserved. His author exercised an absolutely masterful use of NPC's that challenged and enhanced his character, and wrote some of the most memorable moments of the entire story for me. I referenced both Plink and Chak's writing at multiple times to reverse-engineer how they wrote certain things so well (in Chak's case, Minstrel's death, and the suddenness of it). Wonderful job, mate.
  I still hate you for Daggle though.


• Aloysius, from Lockdown
  I'll be real. Lockdown was not my favorite contest. The cast was lovely (honorable honorable mention to Ripple, the trading-card obsessed otter. What a concept), but that story was just a mess to follow. However, I have to give particular props to Aloysius, the Abbey historian bat. I found his character to be particularly engaging, as well as his struggle to confront the fact that the Abbey he so deeply loved had become so deeply corrupted. His relationships with the other cast members all rang true, and he brought a certain stability to the whole story. Excellent job, Aloysius.

Aaand that's it for me! Would love to see what some others favorites were--I'm sure there are plenty of good memories to go around, here. =D

[Airan]

Be warned, spoilers GALORE-

--Seth Devonshire from The Emperor's Decree 2: No Surrender.
Written by: Kaja

My personal favorite character from TED2- sorry Wazzock, you're great though too- Seth is a great example of a fully realized and well executed character arc, as well as a wonderful love story. Starting off as the prissy, ill-mannered son of a rich noble, he falls in love with a peasant girl, and is quickly sent to war by his father so that he doesn't damage his family's reputation any further than he already has with his other previous relationships. What follows is the tale of Seth learning some humility. Over the course of the story, Seth is battered and bruised, shot by an arrow, learns he has a son from one of his previous girlfriends and is forced into raising him, witnesses the death of several of his companions, and is put into prison, all to come out a different and changed beast. When he finally makes it home, he is a changed beast but hasn't changed his opinion of the peasant girl.

Over the course of the story, Seth writes several letters to his lover, Sadie, and they get more and more emotional as Seth further breaks under the realities of war. Once filled with snark, dismissal, and a holier than thou attitude, Seth became one of my favorite characters in Survivor history with one of his final letters. Convinced he's not's making it home, he writes-

"Dear Sadie,

I love you.

Seth."

--Juniper Dantor from Redwall: Revolutions.
Written by: Sycamore

One of the most... bizarre characters in Survivor is Juniper. From the beginning with his app, it was pretty clear Juniper was going to be different from the rest. The application category was for a Surly Character, but Juniper's author interpreted it a different way. 'What if instead of writing a Surly character, I write a character who is an actor who is auditioning for the role of a Surly character? What if I essentially wrote an application, about a character... writing an application for the very role I'm applying to?'

Thus, the Deadpool of Redwall Survivor was born. Simply a confused teenager in a situation and 'story' he wasn't prepared for- or just simply insane- Juniper used his role as an actor in order to make consistent references to other survivor contests, whether through his dialogue or actions, as well as referencing storytelling techniques and plot structures. He obviously knew quite well he was just a character in a story, and what better role for him than to be the hero...?

...Except he was also the one responsible behind the conflict to begin with. He was the one who ushered Fjord to kill the Abbess, brought judgment on several npcs because they were no longer 'relevant to the plot,' etc. Juniper is one of the strangest characters in Survivor. A true villain, but with grand delusions. But maybe there's a little bit of truth behind every one of those delusions.

He couldn?t do it. He couldn?t take a beast?s life. Who was he kidding? Rufus was a living, breathing soul; he couldn?t just take that away from him. So, he?d let him live, but then what? All Juniper could envision was Rufus coming back to kill him, or inform his cohorts, and they?d seek him out themselves. The otter was an endangerment to their operation; he had listened to their gossip throughout the entire journey. He knew too much.

Besides, he was in a story now, a real life story, with a plot and direction and everything. Things had changed. This was no longer about the Abbess or her murder. This was about Daskin, and the kits at Redwall, and their safety. Right now, Juniper was the only one who could help them. He couldn?t afford risks, not when so many others were at stake. Rufus ? he was just a character, and characters only existed to serve the story?s needs. Once their part was over, it was over. Further the plot, that was their purpose.

?Further the plot,? Juniper said out loud, as if that would help convince him.

?What?? Rufus said.

?I have to further the plot,? Juniper repeated. The blade shook in his paws.

?What do you mean?? There was fear in Rufus? eyes.

Juniper blurred his vision so that he didn?t have to see the squirrel?s face, didn?t have to see the expression change when he did what he was about to do. It would help him avoid the shock and the pain and the fear.

--Clutus from Redventure 6: Harbinger.
Written by: Clutus

Another self-loving, arrogant character like Seth, Clutus is a once proud owl who spent much of his days terrorizing innocents and eating their flesh, and absolutely relishing in their fear for him- you know, owl things- until those said innocents got ticked off about it and decided to fight back. Luckily for him, they showed mercy and merely left him crippled and unable to fly. Trapped on the ground for the rest of his life, Clutus longed for attention and began to act as a grand-wise owl, with the answers to any questions or worries. Thus, the Great Jewel of Mossflower once more found the attention he desired.

Clutus bobbed his head in return, and shamelessly replied.  ?Indeed, that wondrous call belonged to me.  Your response was so heavenly that I mistook as my echo, upon first hearing it.?

Clutus is a tragic character more than anything, and once more another character who learns a dose of humility over the course of their arc. He is insecure and lonely, trapped as an outcast on the ground among the beasts he once preyed upon, but refuses to admit as such, keeping his head held high and dismissing anyone who comes close as being inferior. He tries to find companionship with Rousseau, and while they're not necessarily friends, she and a female owl named Licium he meets later in the story are the only characters to ever really break him and show the true side to him. After being rejected by Rousseau, he attempts to escape Kotir through the tallest window with Licium so that he doesn't have to be alone any longer, but doesn't succeed in his flight.

?Perhaps only two days more.?  Clutus uttered softly.  ?Do you remember the day?  It is less than two days before we died.  Less than two days until all this started.?

?So wot? Wot difference does the day make? Do ya think Vulpez is jest goin' t' wave his paw an' everythin' will be happy again? No, then we die again, except maybe a day later. Vulpez sent us t' do his dirty work, an' we gotta finish it in wotever way possible. We have t' finish it, not him. 'Gates, I've even managed t' get my crew t' trust me an' think o' me as their captain! We have a chance now! An' if we don't succeed, we don't just lose this stupid castle, we lose ourselves, we lose everything!? Rousseau asserted herself with a raised voice.

?And what if I lose you?!?  Clutus practically screeched, before looking sheepishly around for potential eavesdroppers.

Rousseau's eye widened with surprise for a moment, before narrowing accusingly. ?Ya know, yer charade o' actin' like ya really care about me is gettin' really old. I think we both know ya jest want yer paintin's done, an' this is jest another way o' gettin' 'em. Well a guilt-trip ain't gonna work on me, Featherbrains. I have more important things t' do than stay alive an' paint fer you. I have a duty t' my crew now, an' no guilt-trip o' yers is more important than that.?

?My concern is no ruse.  What do you think will happen to me after you get yourself killed, trying vainly to earn your crew's respect?  Has that ever occurred to you?  No creature in this castle has any use for me.  Captain Blacktip would probably just as soon have me for lunch, rather than for a comrade.  Mister Forst has his mind elsewhere, and I doubt he would object much anyway.  You, Rousseau, are my only wingmate, my only comrade, my only friend...?  Clutus's trembling voice trailed off miserably.

Silence reigned between the pair, as both beasts tried to avoid the other's gaze.  Clutus shuffled his talons, already regretting his words.  He was not even sure if he truly felt his words, or if his camaraderie with Rousseau had been nothing else than an illusion he had set upon himself to stave off loneliness.

Rousseau found her tongue first, and it sounded sharp as she replied. ?I don't care if ya actually worry about me or not. Will's always been my only friend an' ya can't stop me from tryin' t' save 'im. If I see 'im, I will fight my way through a hundred beasts t' save 'im. An' Clutus? I've already told some other beasts, so I don't see any harm in tellin' you too. The last time somebeast said they cared about me, they gave me a necklace o' pearls an' a knife t' the eye. That was the mistake I made, Clutus. I trusted somebeast I shouldn't have. An' with my duties t' my crew an' Will gone, I ain't got time t' make new friends.?

"In the end, you're just as lonely as me aren't you?"  Clutus managed.

There was silence for a moment and then, without another word, the rat closed her door behind her, leaving the owl alone.

--Desmond from Midnight Mossflower.
Written by: I honestly can't remember...

I like snobby jerks I've learned, and there's no one else worthy of the title of being a jerk than Desmond. Full of himself, check. Womanizer, check. Corrupt rich guy, check. When he's not wearing pajamas because he wants to die comfortable, he's consulting badger war machines, killing badgerladies, finding his illegitimate children and sending them to boarding school, and strangling his lovers because they made him angry. Desmond is a jerk.

However, unlike the other two I mentioned above, Desmond doesn't change. Asides from a select few moments where he shows a little bit of heart, he is an absolute snob from beginning to end and it is wonderful. Desmond is a great example of a static character done exceptionally well. 

Honorable Mentions-

Saveaux from Midnight Mossflower
-For the same reasons that Tooley mentioned above.

Captain Alan Blacktip from Redventure 6
-Another Kaja character, and another womanizing and arrogant jerk. However he coupled that with intense scenes of vulnerability, and a character arc all about righting the wrongs of the past which went amazingly well with the main theme of the this contest.

Pearl from Redscape
- With a chaotic, crazy story like Redscape, it needed a more grounded and realistic character like Pearl. Pearl had simple goals and motivations, a prostitute merely looking for her granddaughter in the plague-ridden and resistance-occupied island that was Evnara, but it was effective and believable and it was easy to get attached.

Ashira from Redventure 4
- One of the most evil characters in all of Survivor in my personal opinion and an absolute blast to read about.

[Salazar]

Wonderful lists from the both of you. Desmond, Nallmian, Saveaux; sounds like Midnight Mossflower is the contest worth revisiting. I'll certainly add MM onto my reading list, and I hope all of you do. There are a lot of gems between their analyses.

Tooley's selected quotes at the start of each character are really telling regarding character success. What's the common thread between the quotes? They all state wants. Each character concept is built around a want (greatest assassin, pirate terror wannabe, working holiday fun.) An intrinsic question of "do they get the thing?" draws the audience towards them whether they realize or not. Very obvious point, but I bring it up because a lot of first round deaths come from characters who float and stand back.

Airan says he likes jerks, but there's insight there too. All the nominated jerks might not change as a beast, but all the jerks affect change with their jerkiness. Is that another route towards success? Pushing the boundaries of the world, plot, and characters around you for a dash of spotlight? Sorta. Certainly in line with the previous observation. Trying something - a little madness, a dollop of tasty conflict - will more often keep you in the audience's mind than staying correct, proper, and 100% kind. Even 'nice' characters have to say No once in awhile, and we look closer when they do.

Anywho, I double appreciate the insight on old contest characters because, like a few other regulars, I don't know squat outside the MOsphere. Accordingly, my favorite character lists will cover only the MOs. And favorite is the operative word. These aren't the best on the objective front - my list would look completely different for that. These beasts stuck with me well beyond the contest for their personality, or a particular killer scene, or some stupid personal reason.

Let's rock.

Mossflower Odyssey the First
Death Train to Carrigul

This was my first contest. Applied, made top 30, didn't squeeze in, and jumped on as a contest reviewer starting week 3 or something. Of the three MOs this is the world I enjoyed the most. Carrigul, Tikora, The Kingdom of the Seven Winds (I think that was the name,) and the exploration of the All Mother religion really hooked me. Least favorite cast, but the writers did very well as they went.

3- Vanessa "Brawlhauser" Fern  :vanessa:

MMmmmmm, accents. Thick and brambly accents. You could slap an accent like Vanessa's on a killer robot and I'd jump torso first into its sawblades. Beyond the highland jargon, Nessa drew me in with the on-face characteristics: she's pretty for no reason, she's in dad's legendary shadow, and she likes to PARTY. And by PARTY I do mean get her drink on (was in the app.) PARTY also means punch the living crud out of moles, owls, and everything in her way. This is the character you can appreciate because she's just an otter in the world. No grand destiny or psychosis or overwrought explanations for even the smallest detail. She is what she is, and I appreciate that in a character so long as they make relationships and move forward too (which Nessa did.) She also proved a major counterbalance for many of MOI's crazier sort.

2- Goragula  :goragula:

Woof, not a lot of love for this toad of toads. Heard the writer ditched hard mid-contest. But I adored what little the writer presented. The guy stabs a squirrel who owes him money in his app, and orders his cronies to kill said squirrel's PREGNANT WIFE after. You see this brand of evil in the app and you know they'll bring it hard in the contest. Contest Goragula wasn't as out-and-out evil (crashed caravan, no obvious safety, gotta hide your intent) but his manipulation of his fellow survivors really impressed me. He corrupted children, provoked in-fighting between otherwise stable beasts, and even at the end he died on his own terms. All with a traditional but rare species, which played incredibly well into the drama of it all. Every Goragula post started with me asking "what will this scumbag do next" or "will the others figure out how evil he is this round" while my possum tail twitched with delight.

1- Istvan  :istvan:

I hate self harm of any kind. Hate hate hate. One of the few things in life I truly despise. So, how does an otter guard in a cult devoted to spilling blood in the name of their deity make my number 1? By staying 100% true to the direction and brutality, by addressing the trait and all the issues around it head on. Multiple co-survivors were irreparably colored by Istvan's rituals. Nyika started cutting herself for release based on Istvan's example, Zevka laughed in his face when he explained the All Mother and caused a rift, and when it was revealed that Carrigul regulars practiced the same "religion" we saw Istvan cull the false practitioners. Istvan for me is a constant reminder that no trait should go unexposed. Sure, you could have no real deepness to a trait (like Nessa) and still do well. But you MUST explore what's there if you put it there. Istvan is the best example of Chekhov's Gun I've ever seen, and I thoroughly enjoyed how the author explored and applied all the implications of blood letting in the name of *blank*.


Mossflower Odyssey the Second
MO Two deep, MO Two dark, MO Two wet

The first contest I wrote for. Applied with two apps, got in with one, and road the shrew train to victory. Promised reviews throughout too, but, uh, failed. Of the MOs this world is the worst. Zostera is the hottest mess full of conflicting ideas, clashing themes, and unresolved story threads. But the cast! Not just saying this because I wrote. Almost every beast felt real and complex from the apps alone, and they made the absolute best of an underwater circus.

3- Lilith Kelerin  :weasel:

Lilith's application was my least favorite of the bunch. She's a twitchy biologist who murders her abusive brother and leaves the scene of the crime. That's it. What I didn't realize at the start is this app laid the groundwork for an original, unapologetic weasel full of delicious, conflict-inducing flaws. Whether she craved fulfillment for her smoking addiction, or played the maddest scientist by building a flamethrower/stun gun/shotgun, Lilith remained snarky and entertaining throughout. Though, my favorite bit? Her quiet development. It's never fully pointed out, but one week she goes a little nuts and brutally tortures a robin. Seemed out of character since (even with her habits) she was the logical one. Then I reread the app and realized "oh, we become what's hurt us." A chilling moment; a chilling look into how abuse shapes us.

2- Salazar Betsalel   :shrew:

HEY. Don't you look at me like that. Artists are allowed pride in their own work. And my reasoning? The concept drew me, and a lot of readers, in from the start. Steampunk Redwall is new and strange territory. What better than an old school beast lost in time to help explore this world? Sal served as a surrogate for the audience (simple-minded exploration of the new society and technology) and a reality check for many of the other survivors. He's also daddykinssavestheday, which is one of my favorite tropes. There are many scenes involving Sal going one on one with another cast member regarding their problems. Teaches Mila how to throw a punch when she's hopeless and full of self-doubt. Meets Lilith (who spent most of the contest thinking of ways to kill Sal) halfway when she extends the "here's a flamethrower, save me please" olive branch. The little daddy engine that could, and did, save the day.

1- Mila Abboton   :squirrel:

The entire squirrel package. Fell in love with Mila from the start by her premise alone. Uh oh. Seems I've a thing for Daddy themes, because after Nessa and Sal she's the third character on this list with a dad-related hook. In the shadow of her grand adventurer father, Mila Abboton joins the expedition with her lifelong "auntie" Luummae to prove she's her own beast. She faces every physical and emotional challenge available: death of loved ones, horrific discoveries about her father's legacy, torture of self of others done unwillingly AND willingly, and, the most important one of all, overcoming regret and learning to love yourself. Every detail about Mila is real, relatable, and compelling when she's not original. We all know Milas: the shy but obviously capable beast who needs to defeat themselves before they can shine. I say this with a clear conscious: she's my absolute favorite beast of any Redwall contest or RP board.


Mossflower Odyssey the Third
Yo-ho, yo-ho, the pirate life for some

Only reviewed for this puppy - no apps drafted, submitted, or otherwise. For me this is the mid-ground contest: second favorite cast, second favorite world. Mostly a personal thing. Never been a fan of piracy or high seas adventures. Despite a few hanging chads in snake tribes, and characters fading in and out of the story, MOIII is the most complete and satisfying contest. I'd share MOIII with an outsider as a "hey, we do this thing...it's like that bad tv show only with writing and animal people."

3- Robert Rosequill  :hedgehog:

Can I copy my Vanessa Fern entry and paste it here? No? Fine, but almost everything in her entry applies here. Robert is a simple character who barely changes throughout the course of the contest. Normally this is a bad thing, but Robert fit in the right place at the right time because of his role in the contest. Each waverunner was pitted against Atlas' madness at the start, so Dadert Dadquill (man, I really do have a problem) standing up against one of the contest's main antagonists was a wonderful necessity. In a contest full of beasts questioning their place in life (Plink, Crue, Tooley, Scully, Ciera, Chak) we needed a voice saying "Oi, this is how things should be. Get in line." Even when his chuckles were infuriatingly repetitive, or when the "are you kidding me!?" Blade bungle happened, I was glad for the chunk of hedgehog consistency in an otherwise transitory story.

2- Tooley Bostay   :weasel:

"*takes a hit off the pipe* What if...what if the hero wasn't a hero? *blows smoke rings* What if he...is the literal worst?" As far as character concepts go, Tooley is one that made me spittake when I saw the cast list. The app concept alone compelled me - a pirate who is captive on a pirate vessel - but couple this with revealed brain damage, character-appropriate ticks, and a gentle nature? Very unique. I talked a bit about Rob's authority giving the story elements validity. Tooley is this in reverse. His very inclusion challenged our pre-conceived notions of pirate adventurers by flinging the helpless waif at the trope-heavy contest elements. Best of all? This is a slow-burn character that works. He eventually became a hero, and overcame his "who let this dummy onto the boat" label, because the author consistently pitted him against emotional/physical challenges bigger than himself. A delight to watch in the same way one likes watching a horror movie unfold and screaming "No! Don't go in there!" a million times.

1-  Gordon Hagglethrump, a.k.a. Scully Craws.  :hare:

The bunny, the myth, the legend that died too soon and gave an epilogue LOADS of development fodder. From the sparse and character-appropriate writing style, to unique concept of "the burden of knowledge and wealth on a wild-eyed child," Scully impressed me from the gate and beyond. Too many times RP characters and apps play with psychosis, but never hit the mark. Why? Because they hold the origin close like some sort of impressive or important secret. Scully's dangerous obsession and methodology was laid out from the start. Reading Scully's first entries and app was like a weapons dealer displaying their deadliest tools. My mind (as it did during the contest) still blitzes with "what if Scully had lived" questions. Would he kill Plink? I think he'd kill Plink. Would he hide behind Robert's skirt and abuse his better nature for cover? Of course. So many possibilities in the little rich bun with a corruption streak deeper than the Mariana Trench. A damn shame he fizzled out early/mid contest, because I so wanted to watch him make the ultimate choice (pirate or lineage) and follow the whole life through.

[Matra Hammer]

Got bored, asked Tooley for a suggestion, and came up with the following. Figured this is the place since we were just talking about cast rankings.

Random Cast Contest Rewrite

Rules
1- Make a list of all the cast members of contests you read
2- Use Random.Org and pick a beast
3- Assign the beast to another contest that is not their own
4- Repeat 2 and 3 until no beasts remain
5- Reorder cast list based on how you feel they'd do in their new contest/world
6- Provide brief explanations on what happens in the story, or why they're where they are, or whatever
7- Post results and alienate everyone as fast as possible

Here we go! In order from the first death to the three survivors.


Midnight Mossflower
ireadthislastweek

10- Gashrock
The cast splits into two groups: Rob, Luu, Plink, and Poko; Ortha, Keldon, Gorag, and Lilith. As plots thicken and schemes hatch our rat seamstress would take up her craft and hope for the best. Much like the first death of the actual MM, some random mishap would dispatch our kindly, play-loving tailor - perhaps another mace drop, or falling down the stairs.

9- Vasily
Our doublespeak cat tries his best at remaining neutral and doing his own thing, but there are some high-level bluff and diplomacy rolls going on with toads and rats about. This week the professor angle is revealed, and Vasily is made an example of when his brainier castmates stand up and say "No." Let's say Jeremy poisons his tea at the dinner in a "we're not mucking about" gesture.

8- Ortha
A dutiful molewife, and practitioner of odd medicine, but not one for subduing zombie servants and storming gates. She follows Lilith and Co anyways because of some strange COSMIC connection. Once the evil schemes of her castmates come to play - I imagine Goragula and/or Keldon suggest the torture angle - she tries standing up and saying "Oi, thizz be wrongun." ...or however you do molespeak. The evil beasts disagree and snuff her out for her trouble.

7- Poko
The plucky ferret (with Plink's help and under the parental wings of Robert and Luummae) finds the cracks in the walls and discovers lore on the castle's previous owners. Ruummae thanks her for her contribution, but scolds her for running off without them. To prove she's a big ferret, who can handle her business, she runs off again and gets taken out by a falling bookcase (in classic MM style) while she searches.

6- Goragula
Torturing and outright slaying a lot of beasts in a small castle gets you undue attention. This is not Goragula, the puppetmaster's, game. When Rob and Co discover their deeds he tries playing it all off (like Nallmian) as the professor framing him. When he rolls a 1 on bluff, and perceptive Plink calls him out, he flees to the basement, swims into an underground lake for hopes of escape, and suffocates a la Flynn.

5- Plink
There's a continuous side plot where Plink chats up a ratling servant who sometimes is a zombie and sometimes is not. Against the wishes of Mommy Loon and Daddy Pig she enacts an escape attempt with ratling servant that goes HORRIBLY WRONG. Luubert show up and fight back the servants and guards and save her. But in the fray a guard throws a spear at Robert...and he doesn't notice! Plink dives in the way and takes a spear for President Rosequill.

4- Robert
Father Quillbert - in his grief over two dead children - gives a 12-page speech about how killing is wrong, how the professor is wrong, and how everyone will get a bedtime story and tuck ins if they follow him in a revolt. Rolls a 20, because Robert always rolls 20 on revolt leading. The professor is extremely well prepared for hedgehog theatrics, and summons his monster zombie badger (Tombstone) to pulp him like Atlas should've oops.

3- Luummae
With only a smooth jazz rat and a death metal weasel left, Luummae takes the lead and hatches a plan. She implores Lilith to use SCIENCE to induce an "accidental" near-death state on everybeast but Keldon, and while down he'll get the key from the professor, wake them, and run away. Of course Keldon reneges on the deal, takes the key, and leaves them both in the castle. Luu dreams of her five-hundred sons and the opera.

2- Lilith
On waking up, and realizing typical Keldon played a Keldon, she goes full-on Redwall MacGyver. With only all of Robert's quills, Luummae's shawl, and Gashrock's sewing needles, Lilith creates a dire flail so terrifying and pointy that they fight their way towards freedom. But oh no! The gate swung shut after Keldon left. Using the power of SCIENCE once more she turns to Luu, says "hey, you're a bird," and the loon gets embarrassed and flies them out.

1- Keldon
Keldon sleeps well in a local tavern and bides his time. After the Mossflower press dies down, after he's sure the professor and all his cronies leave the "cursed" castle, he buys it straight cash. After about a year there's a vole who travels the country studying beasts. Then 10 are invited to Chateau Crowle for a dinner party and the promise of an investment opportunity. This time around the master of the castle doesn't rely on zombies. He just locks everyone in, puts one knife on a table, and watches from behind a mirror as he sips his wine.


Mossflower Odyssey One

9- Kima
After the landslide everybeast is plenty bloody and shaken. This wildcat's blood madness surfaces at the sight and she hunts her castmates about the wilderness. After a few paragraphs of "The Joys of Blood Rage" Flynn, in full "I've had enough of this" mode, impales Kima with a tree branch and saves everyone. Flynn is immediately branded as the leader and wears Kima like a cape.

8- Scully
Despite Flynn savaging Kima our little turncoat hare still wants to live in Carrigul like a good vermin. Unfortunately for him the only vermin example left is Tooley. When asked for advice, Tooley tells Scully he should ask the captain. Since Scully is not a complete idiot he avoids Flynn and asks big bad Lakmir (the next most intimidating beast) instead. The goshawk tells Scully to follow him behind a bush for the secret of verminhood, and then straight eats him because supplies are low.

7- Vin
Since not all the beasts can eat children, it's up to Vin - Flynn's second in command - to find some provisions. It's the dead of winter so he finds nothing but a frozen lake. Flynn commands Vin into the water for fish. Like most Redwall Survivor otters, Vin stinks regarding water and drowns/freezes as soon as he touches the lake. Lakmir asks if anybeast wants a piece of Vinsicle, and eats it all when they say no.

6- Desmond
The hungry gang led by a feasting goshawk and a power-mad Flynn find a hill bristling with native moles. In short order Desmond charismas the entire tribe into believing he's their king. Like everybeast in this contest, Desmond goes mad with power and has his moles steal Crue and Mila so he can have his pick of brides. He gets a kick to the berries from both squirrel maids as soon as they're within punting distance. Desmond dies from internal bleeding.

5- Lakmir
True to this fake contest's character, and not his MOII ways, Lakmir eats all of Desmond's mole army but gets stuffed quick. Flynn, in another good decision of her series, says to eat the last wafer-thin mole, because, c'mon zir, it is woffer fin. Lakmir complies. He just explodes from eating all the beasts. That's it, really. A cascade of feathers and mole parts as he slurps down the last of Desmond's kingdom.

4- Flynn
A woodland ermine tribe investigates the rain of digging claws and goshawk monocles. Instead of hearing out the peaceful, snowy tubesocks, Flynn reenacts her unironically favorite movie: Braveheart. She tries screaming "They'll never take our FREEDOM!," but Crue and Mila kick her in the berries before she can wipe out the ermine tribe. Flynn dies from internal bleeding.

3- Tooley
Our three survivors lived by keeping quiet while Flynn rampaged. However, Tooley catches the power trip illness when surrounded by his vermin brethren, and trades his squirrel partners for a fine flat in Tikora Tower. He spends the rest of his life chewing on his hat, watching Tikora on Vera News talk about building a wall between them and Mossflower that Redwall Abbey will pay for, and making googly eyes at the lobby door weasel maid. He summons the courage to ask her on a coffee date. It goes as well as you expect.

2- Mila
The All-Mother cultists raise up Mila as a sacrifice when she tries kicking Tikora in the berries. Right before they cut her in half she starts telling stories about her famous adventurer father. Enthralled, the All-Mother cult becomes the All-Mila cult, and they start wearing tufted squirrel ears and glasses instead of face paint. She lives out her days in Carrigul hosting the weekly Monday's with the All-Mother Mila. She's a success, but is haunted by the ghosts of Desmond and Flynn and develops an addiction to Deeper'n'ever pie to cope.

1- Crue
With woodlander tolerance on the rise because of Mila's show, and Tikora trying to cover her ties with Salamandastron, Crue is granted pardon from the city jail. She immediately leaves and joins the ermine tribe in the woods. She can't help but feel she's done this before, and lives in a constant state of deja-vu. One day they find a bow tie and an ancient, blue booth in the totally random hotsprings just outside ermine territory. Crue takes a plucky young ermine, puts on the bow tie, and travels through time joining hundreds of different native tribes.


Mossflower Odyssey Two

9- Ciera
The crew's submarine docks with Zostera and there's a mess of dead beasts and mutant creatures crawling about. Ciera says "Nope" and commandeers the submarine for an escape. Instead of floating off into the sunset, the deep-sea kraken grabs the Timbalisto and shakes it like a maraca. The kraken is displeased when the rattle-rattle of bones becomes the squish squish of an ex-captain.

8- Risk
While other beasts rally and try restoring order between the warring factions of Zostera survivors, Risk steps easily into the violent chaos. He forms the fourth faction in an already NPC-glutted research station Risk's Rangers. He recruits a sickly interior station designer and the head Beast Resources Representative. They're all brutally slaughtered by the jerks in pod 6.

7- Raine
Raine becomes King Chatterley's personal assistant and convinces him into peace talks with Snapson and her gang of explosive-happy beasts. Halfway through some rather successful diplomacy/negotiations a steampunk bookcase falls onto Raine and kills her instantly. Snapson takes this as an assassination attempt and the Zostera turf wars begin anew.

6- Noonahootin
Back with the sane beasts at the temporary relief center, Noonahootin is in his element as the 'sane' bird of the station. When scout Fildering comes back with news of a pending Snapson raid, he rallies the forces and prepares a defense. Midway through the fighting the kraken breaches their pod. Noona sacrifices himself so his troops may live, but they flee into Snapson's capture. Hey, no joke this time. Kinda what actually happens, but instead of a death lazer it's, well, an owl. Owls are scary! Kraken scary.

5- Biara
In Snapson's cell Biara puzzles out that the Pearls of Lutra (somehow in and around the station) are part of controlling the kraken. This plot point is immediately forgotten by Biara, and she instead leads an escape through the air vents. She then discovers there's natural gas beneath the station that's driving everyone crazy. She ignores this plot point too, opens a closet door while looking for supplies, and catches a crossbow bolt to the face, because that's what they do in Zostera...boobytrap closets, vents, pretty much everything.

4- Vera
Miss Silvertooth finds a dashing young scientist named Bylan who conveniently shows the crew a hidden escape vessel. She instantly falls madly in love with the ver-mouse, he's a mouse. Yep, not a marten at all. And she loves him instantly and completely. So even though the audience knows the MOUSE is pure evil, as does the rest of the crew, she somehow convinces them to get in the vessel. Surprise, surprise: Bylan is actually the evil scientist who created all of Zostera's mutants, kraken, and weird undeveloped plot angles, and he's taking the crew to his evil lair. Vera dies from a broken heart - her dream mar-mouse is too evil to stand.

3- Fildering
Our blue blood Salamandastron hare is experimented on, tortured, and transformed into WotWot Bot 3000 by Bylan. Five-hundred feet tall with laser eyes, city-crushing footpaws, and an impeccable accent, WotWot Bot 3000 destroys half of Mossflower in the name of a deus ex evil villain while his two surviving friends watch on helplessly. The dibbuns of Mossflower raise their heads in song, and the kraken revives and rises from the sea. They throw the skyscrapers of New Town at one another, and there totally aren't rubber suits involved, or strings on the biplanes circling about.

2- Saveaux
Our newt, who has said nothing throughout the contest like a smart beast, wrote down every mismatched arc, plot hole, and NPC of their adventure. The tome glows with the awesome, magical power of irrationality, which turns Saveaux into the first newt sorcerer of this millenium. With a garbled warcry he blasts away all of Blyan's evil lair and leads all the captive experiments to freedom. The newt becomes so corrupted by MOII's plot progression that he transcends time and space and blinks out of reality.

1- Chak
Chak, sitting on a hillside, watching his newt pal wizard his way to oblivion, a mecha hare stomp out Mossflower, and an ill-defined steampunk Mossflower cry out in terror, puts his paws in the air and says "Yarrr. That's 'nough." After a very graphic depiction of him relieving himself on a nearby bush, our otter hero spends his remaining days walking about future Mossflower and telling all the nonsensical beasts he sees "That's 'nough." One by one these creatures submit to his brusque, infinite wisdom and the world regresses a few thousand years back to the days of slavin', warrin', and chasin' otter maids with a nice set of pipes on em.


Mossflower Odyssey Three

10- Vanessa
Ms. Brawlhauser doesn't even make the boat. She gets so sauced on grog the night before the wave runners launch that she tries fighting Atlas' ship. To be fair, the ship looked at her funny, and made a crack about how she described herself as beautiful for no reason in her app. Vanessa wins the fight and punches a hole in the ship, only to find Atlas inspecting the quarters within. She does not win the follow-up fight.

9- Zash
Funny thing about sailing on the open ocean: you can't escape an over-enthusiastic ferret who loves talking about art history. After the second day of sailing, before the high-seas battle even starts, she tries touching Istvan's face tattoos. Atlas holds an execution after a ship-wide brawl breaks out. The Phantom rolls up on Atlas' ship and not a single beast notices because Zash's liberated head is still talking about Tanead pottery.

8- Nyika
In true cat tradition, Nyika is eaten by a shark when the resulting sea battle sinks Atlas' ship. Ghost Nyika possesses Rhea and gives her the manic strength required for dragging all the drowning castbeasts ashore. Ghost Nyika feels like a hero, but soon gets depressed on realizing nobeast can see her or even knows she's gone. A slow, saxophone solo plays as she drifts off into space, and the mongeese on the island recognize a New Wave goddess in their constellations.

7- Sootpaws
As a surprise to everyone, our bumble fox leads the expedition into the heart of the island for supplies. He sets off but, somehow, narrowly escapes every single trap. Salazar picks him up by the socks and uses the fox as a dowsing rod for danger. Unfortunately, Sootpaws is unable to detect plot holes, and a mysterious tribe of snakes springs up from out of nowhere, gobbles up Sootpaws, and vanishes into the nothingness they came from.

6- Zevka
The appearance of void snakes catches the attention of the mongoose tribe. When they show up Zevka, the only benevolent AND intelligent beast left, tries negotiating a peace treaty. She succeeds, but it takes all of three seconds before Istvan and Nallmian try cutting open a local for fun and games. The mongeese are, understandbly, livid. When Zevka tries hugging Shuga to smooth things over she's immediately set on fire. The remaining cast is captured and frog marched to Dead Rock.

5- Salazar
Our bruiser shrew is low on allies, but he settles on Quincy and starts a slave revolt against Blade and his pirates. Single-pawed Sal punches holes through ships, pirates, and all of Blade's cannons with little to no effort and little to no personality. Torin, sick of the shrew's mess, walks up, places a paw on his forehead, and holds him at arm's length as he swings himself into exhaustion. Torin opens TBQ - a fine, torture-flavored BBQ chain - and carves off shrew steaks for the pirates, cause apparently Sal is Wolverine and can regenerate after tail loads of trauma.

4- Rhea
Blade rallies his pirates and they sail off for Salamandastron while everyone is distracted by shish-ka-Sal. Rhea spins around and tries imparting the importance of chasing after the Pirate King before he sacks the mountain. She does so several hundred times, to the point of throwing herself bodily against beasts to stir them their meal. Then she tries with Nallmian. The stoat "accidentally" stabs her to death, licks his fingers, and waves the TBQ stand onto a pursuit vessel. Quincy cries, but more for eating meat and liking it than for Rhea.

3- Istvan
Captain Nallmian catches up with Blade's ship and orders a boarding party. Istvan cuts off his rudder and offers a sacrifice to the All-Mother. Instead he summons Nyika, the goddess of 80s synth-pop, and she raises a technicolor fog over the ocean so they can board unseen. There's a nasty fight between the pirates and "heroes." It's brutal. Absolutely horrific and mesmerizing and completely off camera for some reason. Istvan emerges from the disco fog of war with an open leather jacket, feathered headfur, and a big, silver cross earring. He tries holding a victory concert but Nallmian "accidentally" stabs all of Istvan's goddess-gifted musical equipment.

2- Quincy
Less than useless, our meat-shocked hare returns to regular duty at Salamandastron. He's hailed as a hero by all of his peers, but day by day his eyes grow hollow and his limbs thin. A new, marten officer in the New Town Police Department starts investigating a series of grisly murders his first day on the job. What starts as vermin torn limb from limb turns into whole streets full of bizarre, cannibalistic crimes. Then the city goes dark. Leonardo S. Keladry's only hope of escaping New Town is fighting through Quincy and his horde of meat-obsessed woodlanders shambling about the city.

1- Nallmian
Nallmian accidentally stabs Leon, the zom-woodlander horde, and promptly takes over Salamandastron since Atlas "mysteriously" died off screen. Under Nallmian's iron claw all of Mossflower becomes a vermin haven, but there are pockets of woodlander resistance he just can't wipe out. He learns they're led by a mysterious otter in a leather jacket. Nallmian challenges Istvan to a guitar solo contest on the peak of Salamandastron. Istvan plays Surfing With the Alien. Nallmian plays Crazy Train. The ghosts of the cast push them both off the mountain so Mossflower can finally know peace.

[Tooley Bostay]

Reading that was like watching a train crash. Stunning and brutal all at once. Unlike watching a train crash, however, I bust out laughing a great number of times. "Wot Wot Bot 3000," indeed! And all aboard the Vera/Bylan express. I'll take what I can get.

Though, for real, Tooley would never have ditched Crue. ...well, for a nice flat...? Maayyyb--no. Still no.

making googly eyes at the lobby door weasel maid. He summons the courage to ask her on a coffee date. It goes as well as you expect.

I-it went fine! She jus' ain't good 'nough fer me, is all! I 'ad a list o' liner-ones memmerized on me 'at, an' she di'nt even laugh! No, I ain't mad! Sh-shuddup! *sobs in a corner*

I'll have to see about making my own list. This looks like a lot of fun.

[foxpen]

I would watch those as movies. I would watch them so hard.