Avatars & Reviews

[Matra Hammer]

Marrow tea sounds pretty darn good, actually. Mmmmm, marrow.

Kali is my favorite avatar of the bunch. Love the joy in her expression that's mirrored in the app's bardic enthusiasm. They're all wonderful though and we're all extremely lucky we've such a skilled clip of graphic artists in this community.

Also I find it extremely interesting reading your advice for applicants "should they get in." We would all do well to heed Vizon's advice since she won the last round.

[Vizon]

"Beasts Motivated by Love"





Ander (You handsome devil, you!)

Ander the narcissist! Clever twist on the category. I've written a character or two who thrive on ego-inflation and who have a very high opinion of themselves and they are fun to write! One does need to add a bit of humor to soften the selfishness, however, and Ander's author does so somewhat (though I much prefer the "Dummy" comment than the slap-stick burying the blade in the ground bit). Ander does lack endearing qualities, however, which might work against him in regards to audience. Not that Keldon the rat in MO2 was endearing. He was arrogant, but in a snooty, evil way. The type you "love to hate," as they say. Unfortunately Ander doesn't quite go either direction. He is somewhat incompetent in spite of his shining self-confidence, and treats everyone around him like dirt. I think it's good that Ander exhibits flaws, but I might have skipped the silly slap stick (which is difficult to picture, actually) for a milder "stumbles over his own fancy boots/cloak/scabbard". But that's nit-picking.

I do think if Ander makes it into the contest he would do well to go either the endearingly egotistical route (really believes he's all that, but with good humor and an indomitably positive spirit), or the scumbag egotist route (play up the jerkiness and make him more competent/sinister). None of this in-between stuff.

Favorite line: ?What is it  now, Dummy??
The short rat standing at the entrance to his tent shifted nervously. ?Er, thing is, the name?s Dimmy, Sir..."





Blu Yardel

(Funny after making this avatar I realized Blu totally looks like she's holding a wand. "Avada kedavra!") Ah, if only it were that simple. This app was a bad luck trip and it was easy for me to sympathize with Blu, being a mom myself (though maybe not cursed with such a bad luck streak). And speaking of being a mom, I fear that I've been watching farrrr too much "Dora the Explorer" and cannot help but picture Swiper the fox in the stocks when I read this app, snapping his fingers and saying "Awww, maaan!"


I do like how I got to figure things out gradually as opposed to outright "this is what happened" chronological narration. How did this vixen end up in the stocks? She tried to steal something from what's-his-face. Why? Really needed money for rent. And then later there's that bit about being robbed by the same bandits "again." That said, there's an awful LOT of story crammed in. Maybe too much. Take this line:
?I hear tell, Mizz Yardell, if not for the night watch owl, I?d have wakened this morning a much poorer beast.?
That's a pretty loaded info dump disguised as dialog.

Part of me wonders why this wasn't a "thief" app since that's literally the label given to her, but then I guess maybe she really isn't a thief by default since evidently, she's pretty bad at it, and also seems ashamed about it when confronted.

If Blu wins the category, I would advise her author to finish the tale. I mean, it really does stop pretty abruptly. Connect the dots - maybe not right off, but eventually. Also, it looks like in the end she finally stopped getting hit with rotten eggs and what not and stood up for herself so keep it up. Playing the underdog can only take you so far - especially in a setting like the arena. Nurture that spine. Culture her connections with the other characters. I'm sure she'll want to make it out "for her kits," but don't rely only on that to earn the audience's sympathy.

Favorite line: Blu?s world turned inside out.





Minerva

Harsh mama. Minerva's not pulling any punches and I gotta say I reeeeeally hope that she's hung those corpses a lot further out than I put them in the avatar, for the sake of her child...who has enough nightmares...probably brought on by the screams echoing from the woodshed...

The interaction with the daughter is sincere and sweet. Believable. But the nastiness of her weasel torture and the hanging corpses bespeak of a disturbed mind more than a protective one to me. Also: "It's about my husband. Ya see, that oaf was never good for much." :'(

If Minerva makes it in, however, I think the app certainly proves she's capable of mass slaughter and won't be cringing at the bloodshed. I would encourage the author to build wholesome relationships with others (as I told Blu's author), and maybe show a little bit of guilt or remorse. She doesn't hesitate or appear to feel anything after performing multiple acts of very personal violence, and though that kind of toughness might help her to deal with the arena and maybe even rise to some sort of fame, this does not win audience points. And the reader audience is actually more important than the arena audience, as they are the ones who ultimately decide your fate, no matter how skilled or poor a fighter your character may be.

Favorite line: Minerva ran her paw tenderly through the young one's fur. "Shhh, shhh, shhh... It's alright. Mummy's gotcha. Mummy's gotcha."

[Vizon]

"Beasts Motivated by REVENGE!"

(gotta say it like that. REVENGE! *lifts angry fist*)





Silas Hetherton

With things like "debtor's prison" and "bond labor" I can tell this ain't Redwall. Or even Mossflower. Not that it's impossible that it's within the Redwall world - but it sounds a lot more medieval than the Redwall we know and love. Which is kind of medieval, but not usually in the way we think of "medieval" (the rack, witch burnings, public disembowelment...). Anyway, Silas is not in a good place. In fact, the app begins with him standing in front of the graves of his wife and kids, pulling out his own whiskers (ouch). From what I can gather he's fresh back from wherever he was working off his debt, seeing how he failed, and possibly even considering ending it? ("the rat found himself at the center of the busy town, gazing up at the gallows"). Then he runs into a familiar face (interestingly a mouse, so this isn't just vermin territory). Having lost absolutely everything, Silas now has absolutely nothing to lose in going after this big bad beaver.

It does kind of make me laugh that the "big bad" is a beaver though. I mean, I know it's just pop-culture influence, but beavers seem more comedic than dastardly. Though those gigantic orange teeth are pretty frightening. Anyway, apart from that, I think Silas has a lot of potential for the arena. Nothing to lose, still friendly enough to build relationships (seemed on friendly terms with the mouse, at least) and maybe find new purpose.

If Silas makes it in, I might advise his author to remedy his expendability expeditiously. The strongest characters seem to all have some sort of solid connections. Chak had Robert and his NPCs, Zevka had Mekad, and Vera had Hylan (which was a good move on her part mid-contest because "I really want that amulet" isn't very moving to an audience's sympathies). I mean, I guess there are examples of characters who didn't have super strong connections (like Plink and Salazar). It's possible. But I think strong cast connections are what will help Silas the most. Otherwise he's just an angry suicidal rat that the audience won't feel too guilty giving the axe since he's already counting himself as lost.
So. Build your safety net quickly. Preferably with other contestants (though there is always the risk that they will ALL DIE the moment you make any progress - just ask Vera).


Favorite line: And fate. Dry, unfeeling fate, that sucked the water from his fields and turned his crops to dust two years in a row.




Altra Gnawear

Super model silver fox both literally and figuratively "looks down" on all the other beasts around her then clashes with another fox from another clan who knows something about her story and where to find the beast to blame. Altra reminds me a lot of the strong female warriors of my old role playing days - the ones who are perfectly gorgeous and perfectly capable fighters. Nothing wrong with this, but it is a little overused. I do like the clan concept, and having a capable fighter in an arena setting would be advantageous. I have a feeling Altra might be too high-minded to stoop to helping others, however. The nice thing about this character is that she definitely has a lot of room for growth and development. There are hints at some potentially fun cultural world-building as well as a greater story.

If Altra's author gets in, I would advise her to explore more of her weaknesses/vulnerabilities so that she is more "humanized" and relatable. Does she ever doubt herself? Can she connect with "lowly beasts?" You have a lot of opportunity to knock this character down a few pegs just by forcing her to live in the arena prison block. It could be really fun to see other contestants break through her thick, bombastic shell. In fact, if you ask me, she should become best friends with the shortest member of the cast. :D




Tope Benwrath

It's alllllll about the ying & yang for Tope. Earn enough goody points and you can "spend" them all at once doing something terrible! Woo hoo! It's actually kind of frightening. Especially when it's so easy to earn "good" points. It's actually very arbitrary when you look at his reasoning in the app. He doesn't dock himself for damaging the tavern wall, he doesn't dock himself for being too proud to move/impolite, he asks a very leading question to two terrified beasts to "lower the cost" of causing somebody brain damage, and identifies "teaching someone a lesson/punishment" as a "good" deed. So much moral ambiguity! It really sets Tope as a dangerous beast, as whatever he ends up doing, he will feel it is completely justified.

As for why he wants to kill a "good" beast - can there be a good reason? Obviously it's revenge for something (hence the category). Maybe he wants to kill the wife/child of someone who killed his wife/child (a la "Sicario"). Or it could be that he literally has some sort of blood lust and feels he must "earn" the right to kill before he does so (though the "remaining two on the list" mentioned at the end suggests otherwise). So then my question is - how many stones is a life worth? All but one? How many stones are there?
Also, he's never filled the black bag. I think it's kind of important to know what happens when he fills the black bag, actually. But maybe it really doesn't matter since he's making up the rules as he goes. He could just shrug and say "Shoot, well - out of stones! Guess I'd better find some more/purchase a bigger bag!"

As for the app itself, while the concept is really interesting and the character self-deceptively "moral," the way the app plays out is a little disorienting at the start. It took me a while to figure out who was threatening who and who was drunk. When I decided it was the wildcat who wanted Tope to move out of his way, the author said "Taking an extra-long step, the cat blocked Tope?s path," which doesn't make sense if he's the one trying to get past Tope. But even though it's confusing, the basic facts are clear. Rich snotty wildcat expects stoat to move out of his way. Stoat refuses to cow-tow and the offended aristo...(wait for it)...cat, smacks him with his cane, providing an invitation for a "justified" beat-down. Suddenly there are servants. And suddenly a tavern. And suddenly there is a list.

So. If Tope ends up in the contest, I would advise his author to work on establishing the scene a little better (I know, I know - 750 word limit here - still could have had a bit more clarity). Of course, the "scene" of the arena might not be that variable in the end, but I mean more like... positioning/flow. Like how actors on stage have their marks. Make sure you're on mark so the audience's view isn't blocked.
Really, just having others to read through your stuff first will help tons with that (as I suspect you already know, as you write like an experienced contender). The action is really well done which should translate well to the arena. I think the karma schtick is pretty interesting too, but I also look forward to seeing it destroyed.

Oh and one last thing. Love the tiny detail that Tope is a lefty.

Favorite line:  Tope grabbed the front of the fine green coat, shifted his weight to his right foot and dragged the cat forward, throwing him head-long into the wooden wall of the tavern.

[Vizon]

Figured I'd post this here. Airan and I were talking about species spread and the overwhelming number of mustelids and foxes (and vermin). I colored the goodbeasts green, the vermin reddish, and the neutral beasts yellow.

Although I think it could be a little boring artistically to have too many of one type, and it might be more interesting to see "good" beasts thrown into such a morally trying situation (as Airan mentioned), it also might be worth considering species in regard to romantic relationship possibilities. Not that Adeen is particularly attractive in that vein (slaying her own husband by accident), or that a fruit bat can fall for a vesper bat (big difference). It's not impossible for interspecies love to develop too, I realize (a la Mekad/Zevka, Poko/Takis, Hylan/Vera(just kidding)), but you know. The possibility of future family would be there. Or mid-contest family (as Revel in Redventure 5 if I'm not mistaken).

Just more to consider during this voting period.

[Rascal]

Hmmmm, so what you are saying is we can end up with a story with 8 mustelids or 8 vermin. That would be...interesting xD

Of course there are six categories with non vermin species so we could end up with 6 non vermin and a combination of weasels, rats, foxes up to two of each


Oh and one stray cat xD

[Vizon]

"The Beast with the Gift of Gab"






Sly Speakeasy

I really like how Sly's quick banter seems to affect the narration as well. It was really fun to read the first time, but maybe not as fun to read multiple times just because it's literally rambling.

This line mislead me right off:

It?s hard to be followed in the dark, but unfortunately, also difficult to see Sly?s favorite sight: the looks on other beast?s faces. Tonight, however, that was a good thing. That meant other beasts wouldn?t see his face.

I was sure that this meant something was different about Sly's face, so I kept waiting for the reveal until finally I realized "Oh, he's just a crook/wanted vole. And I guess he likes to see other beasts' faces?" I think the last line finally brings some clarity when Sly "briefly savor{s} their shared stupid look." So in the end, Sly is hilarious with his banter, but also quite the smart-aleck egotist. He's proud of his quick tongue and ability to outwit/talk circles around others, and he really enjoys showing off that "talent." He feeds his ego at the expense of others. He steals. He's a drunk, and he gets into brawls (likely on account of aforementioned characteristics). So Sly has a lot of flaws (which is fine). He's fun to read, but he lacks compassion. So maybe the ultimate question regarding Sly is how would he handle the arena where beasts are not civil enough to stop and listen before lopping his cute little vole head off (they are rather adorable creatures, actually) and won't ally themselves with a blabbermouthed jerk?

If Sly gets into the contest, I would advise his author to give the audience more reason to like Sly. He's not nasty enough to be one of those "love to hate" characters, and he has the potential to be more of a thorn in others' sides than a help as is (certainly doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself). Keep up the comedy as well as you can - it's the most fun and attractive feature of your character. I can imagine him battling like Spiderman or Deadpool, showering his adversaries with mocking observations and absurdities to throw them off balance. That is something I would love to see, in fact.


Favorite line: ?Don?t get smart, I need an answer.?
?Don?t worry, I?ll keep it dumb.




Hoober Blackfoot

Cute, fun, talkative fellow who ran into the wrong crowd. Couldn't quite talk his way out of a trip to the arena. Hoober's likeable. Not as much of a wiseguy as Sly. Could be a cheery addition.
I was thrown off a lot by the 90's catchphrase "NOT" in the sentence right after the rhyming ditty. Seemed extremely out of place. Some SPAG things made for a bump in the reading here and there, but nothing that can't be caught with a couple other pairs of eyes looking it over if you get in.

If Hoober makes it into the contest, I would advise his author to not be too passive. Hoober seems like a gentle, timid type which might earn some sympathy points, but in a dog-eat-dog world like the arena, he's going to need more than that to stay alive. Don't lean too much on the gab - it's a necessary trait, but Hoober needs to be much more than a cheerful chatterbox. He needs to have real struggles, moral dilemmas/temptations, and strong interactions.

Favorite line: ?The Crab Horde snapped their claws,
Their eye-stalks all a-swivel!
I bopped their king right in the eye,
And shocked them with my drivel!?





Bechtel

A bat in general would be fun to see in the contest, though I already am wagering on Kali getting in. The echolocation thing is actually pretty neat (once it was pointed out to me) and, as others have said, a clever twist on the category. The app seems a little haphazard/rushed - particularly at the end which was abrupt and confusing. Bechtel appears a little crazy - especially with the line "he saw her expression clearly. The horror. The fear. The hatred. Things he had seen before." It almost implies that he's snapped and killed/seriously injured someone before. I suppose it could be something else that caused the horror and fear to appear on other beasts' faces, but there are no clues if so. The app's climax could have really used some more attention and clarity and I think that if it was the word count that caused the sudden wrap-up, the author might have done well to cut the whole " fly up the nose" scene. Not essential at all compared to the last scene, which was significantly more important.

Still, if Bechtel gets in, I think he could be a really neat addition to the cast. If he does get in, I would advise his author to not rush things (no last-minute posting). Have others read over what you write. Work on fleshing Bechtel out a bit more to garner sympathy if possible (as it is he seems to have a good heart (wants justice) but at the same time he appears insanely violent (accidentally?). I guess it could help you in the arena to be insanely violent, but it might not help in your cast interactions. So actually, I advise you to explain/downplay the crazy we glimpsed in the app. Ground him (not literally. Or literally... I guess that could be interesting too).

Favorite line: Bechtel fluttered his wingtips again, accentuating the ?dip and shove? motion.

[foxpen]

I love that you actually animated the gabby gobs! Oh, Vizon, you are too cool.

[Tooley Bostay]

Oh my word these are incredible. That Sly avatar is amazing and I smiled so much once I saw it.

And good point about Kali. The two batties would be a ton of fun to see interact with one another. Wonder if Bechtel is a better singer than she is... maybe she can just provide background music. =P

[Vizon]

"Healers"






Jasper Hookclaw

A horde medic runs around helping his fallen vermin comrades in the middle of a battlefield. This one reminded me a little of a modern day war movie (sans explosions and gunfire, of course). Seems almost too modern for a medieval setting, actually. I'm pretty sure "doctors" (barbers) were more stationary in that time. But then again, Redwall isn't literally medieval. It's better in a lot of ways. Anyway, the writing makes up for my qualms about Redwall world accuracy. I don't think I included anything about medics in my "Guide to the World of Redwall" either so it wouldn't be fair for me to hold that against the author if they're new to Redwall fiction. Jasper himself is a really appealing character to me. He definitely seems to care about others (risks his life to save a rat), yet he's also able to fight "when needed." And it seems that his knowledge of the inner workings of the body are pretty advantageous in a fight. Really from the sound of it Jasper's world won't change too drastically if he ends up in the arena. He will still be surrounded by violence and death and will still be losing friends/acquaintances. He might be better prepared for the shock and horror than most, even. But will that make him less affected?

If Jasper gets in, I would advise his author to keep the character off-balance. Don't make him too "cool" about the arena and what goes down there. He does seem to want to save lives so maybe that's not as much of a concern, but don't make him so invincible. Let's see some more flaws.





Kentrith Hapley

Kentrith is an "old hand" at the arena who repairs the broken fighters, but apparently will also be inflicting injury himself. He has the attitude and know-how of a modern-day surgeon (similarly against the ?medieval? nature of Redwall same as Jasper). The author is taking a gamble, inserting their character deeply into the story already, which is a power play of sorts, similar to Ciera Ancora in MO3 who knew Blade personally and? had his baby. Not a guarantee to success, but certainly a notable advantage. Kentrith, at least, is not "friends" with Nire, and seems just as much a victim as an accomplice.

The app is very well written and I enjoyed the read. Kentrith's struggle is very relatable (most of us would resist fighting if we could, I believe). And as a beast dedicated to doing the exact opposite of hurting others, Kentrith?s struggle might be have been even greater. But, as Airan noted in his review already, with all of this taking place ten years ago, it is unlikely that this will be as much of a struggle by the time we meet present-day Kentrith. Ten years of slaughtering and then piecing beasts back together would do a number on a guy?s conscience, I imagine. Perhaps even his sanity.

If Kentrith gets in, I would advise his author to use Kentrith?s ?extra? arena knowledge to somehow help the other contestants out, and do your best to play fair (don?t withhold key facts that ONLY KENTRITH knows or have Kentrith be the only one who can get them out or whatever). It might seem advantageous, but remember the other writers are just as much a part of this story as your own character. It?s more polite and friendly to try to help everyone write their best rather than strong arm them into playing side characters in your grand scheme. Granted, this IS a contest, but it is also a community.





Maeve

Now Maeve?s author has absolutely no issues with imposing modern medicine on a medieval setting unlike the other two authors. Maeve?s compresses ARE medieval and make me flinch, imagining all the mud and parasites leeching into those wounds. Ugh.

Maeve is a very strong character all around ? both physically and mentally, and this is emphasized by her weakling sister who showers her with praise even while fleeing for her life in an extreme situation. Now that?s admiration! Thankfully, Maeve doesn?t let it go to her head and responds with a measure of humility. I think a sixteen-year-old character could be an interesting addition to the cast, and surly would need to reign in the ?I?m the strong one in charge? angle if she is a youth among adults. I wince to think of her rubbing mud into open wounds, though, causing more harm than good. It would be nice if the healer was actually able to help the other characters.

If Maeve gets into the contest, I would advise her author not to completely dismiss those previous injuries. Even if she has had time to heal, wounds like that can have a lasting impact (stiffness and scarring at the least, serious infection at the worst). Remember that even though Maeve has her own little dramatic story going on here, the main story is about something else entirely, and it would serve you well to invest in the main plot and other cast members over your own (is that hypocritical? I know I kept Chak to his own storyline a lot? but it also merged with the main plot?).

[Airan]

These all look fantastic, Vizon. I especially love what you've done for the Gabbers. Moving mouths was a nice touch, and animating Sly's story he tells the guards must have been a lot of work, but the result makes it well worth it. I look forward to seeing what other reviews and avatars you make for everyone.

[Tooley Bostay]

But, as Airan noted in his review already, with all of this taking place ten years ago...

Gonna jump in and swing for Kentrith's behalf here, since I'm noticing this being passed around a lot. His app lists him as being 22-32 seasons old, not years. He'll have only been fighting in the arena for 2 and a half years, by that standard. It probably also answer's Airan's point about him seeming a bit too competent for a "22 year-old." If the author was going by more of an animal standard with seasons, then who knows, maybe foxes only live to be about 50 seasons on, and 22 is actually middle-aged?

Different people understand the whole years/seasons thing in different ways. It would have been much better for the author to just stick to a more understandable, relatable year-age, but I'm not going to ding off too many points, given the flexibility of "seasons."

[Airan]

His app lists him as being 22-32 seasons old, not years. He'll have only been fighting in the arena for 2 and a half years

That two and a half years would be a lot different for him than a human though, because it would be the equivalent of 10 of his life. Its the number that's ultimately important, not whether its seasons or years. Personally, I'd just argue for Kentrith's author to retcon his age and just say he's 30 in the app, and 32 by the story. Or just 32 in general without any time change.

[Vizon]

"Thieves"





Adeen Pinebarrow
There's a HUGE amount of backstory implied here that brought addled Adeen to this point in her life. To say she got a little carried away is an understatement, and I am sad that she murdered her husband. If she wasn't a bit nutso before, she will be now, I think. Perhaps even emotionally destroyed. Which makes her very interesting to me.

I love the description the author uses - the little details of the hares' lives. I like the consistency of Adeen's obsessive rage (the count down, the slashes of "reason"). I love that the hares call voles "mud mice" ha ha.

Then there's considering how she'll fare in the arena. Sure she's got a crazy streak that could help her in a fight, but ultimately what will Adeen have to live for? Not much. She's a terrible person in her own eyes now, most likely. There's no one to go home to. Her children dead and gone. I feel for her earlier loss, but she handled it poorly (to say the least) compared to her husband. Without him, Adeen is going to be a lost beast, though perhaps the shock of what she did will temper her rash and gung-ho "make them all pay!" deal.

If she gets in I would encourage her author to put Adeen on a road of penitence. Have her deeply regret what happened and consider that she has a lot to make up for. Because she has no connections back home and nothing else to lose, she can throw herself fully into the "family" of the arena prison and helping beasts who really don't deserve to be there. Regret and guilt is necessary for audience sympathy, I think, and seeing Adeen trying to make up for such a serious "blunder" might help her survive longer.

Favorite line: Again for all the silk and lattice, the powder and warmth, the beatings from debt collectors, the sneers of ?greater? beasts, the dreams of their beautiful, lost faces. 
The freedom.





Faye

Faye's a fun character, though there's not much to her as most of what we see is a facade (and predictable). She's perky, light-hearted, crafty, sneaky, and most of all, she's NOT A KILLER. She is the only thief in this lineup who doesn't have blood on her hands (as far as we know). She could have held the ferret at knife-point and robbed him. But she didn't. In fact, she went waaaay out of her way to swindle him in such a way that he walked away happy even. I think that's a real point in Faye's favor. Airan mentioned that one reason he wants more goodbeasts in the contest is to push that moral dilemma "good" beasts would face when forced to kill or be killed. Vermin are usually gray if not outright evil, and would be more likely to adapt easily to this "kill or be killed" mentality because theoretically, many of them have killed already or have experienced a harsher life where death and violence is more prominent than a typical Mossflowerian. Faye, however, proves that she does not fit the typical vermin mold. The arena would be a real test for her, I think.

So, if Faye gets in, please don't give her a deep dark past. As I said with Kali, this contest is going to need some positive characters to penetrate the cloud of darkness and death. Do develop her more. Outside of the "atypically friendly highway robber" characteristic, there's a giant question mark regarding who Faye is and what her motivations/home life/passions/dreams are.


Favorite line: ?Oh!? Faye violently clutched at her chest, almost losing her hat during the theatrics. ?Oh that hurt me, Grim! Right in here, right where it hurts the most!?
  ?Tell me what you want, or else I?ll hurt you somewhere else,? Grimclaw snarled.





Lacey "Silver Tail" McTally

Lacey has a super elaborate ruse going on, but it works since the payoff is consistent and rich for her. Believable, in other words. I like that she's a con artist, and how she seems to get caught up in the glory of her own ruse, wanting to believe she might or could be a better beast. Except that she isn't. At least she looks away when the eagle kills the old squirrel. She's not so cold as Altra or vindictive or hateful like Adeen. She's kind of Zevka-ish, appreciating the finer things in life, yet Zevka had a real brutal/apathetic streak that never sat well with me. That whole "screw you, unless you're my friend" perspective. Hence the baby mole toss, which you may or may not know about (depending on whether you've read MO1). Her ability to turn away and let someone she seemed to like be killed when it benefited her (meaning, she could continue to uphold a certain level of living) is bothersome, but will probably help her in the arena. She'll have to get in shape and learn to fight for real, but she has a lot of potential.

If Lacey gets in I would advise her author to study what Zev did in MO1 and follow suit. Zevka won the contest, so he did something right. It's not my kind of character, though, so I don't have much advise beyond that. Good luck.


Favorite line: "They look for Sharp Eyes in sky, not expect him to use worm beast roads.?

[Tooley Bostay]

That two and a half years would be a lot different for him than a human though, because it would be the equivalent of 10 of his life. Its the number that's ultimately important, not whether its seasons or years. Personally, I'd just argue for Kentrith's author to retcon his age and just say he's 30 in the app, and 32 by the story. Or just 32 in general without any time change.

Eh, it depends on the author's understanding of what "seasons" means to a beast. I agree that just a retcon would work best, though. Make it years, and make it something easily understood, like 30-32 years-old. I just don't want to see someone decide to not vote for Kentrith because of such a small, silly reason.

And I adore that Faye avatar, Chak. You don't usually do that sort of linework on the edges, but it gives it a different quality that I really like. Nice and sharp, and such a great expression, too!

[Zevka]

Honestly, Thief was probably my favorite category of all. Adeen, Faye and Lacey were all among my favorite apps in the bunch.

As for the mole-throwing... basically when the MO1 cast fought
It's way through an underground tribe of hostile miles, they wound us with a young mole that tagged along/got taken hostage. Zevka later saved Oko from getting killed by an owl by tossing the mole to the owl to be eaten. This made Nessa and Istvan very angry, and was a major characterization moment for Zevka.