First Impressions

[Crue Sarish]

I apparently have a lot of reading to do and figured I'd share my opinionated and impulsive reactions to the 30. I hope I can get to all of them, but I don't know if that's going to happen. As you can guess, some/most of my reactions are simply personal preferences and just "not what I would have done," so take of this what you will.

Thank you all for these submissions! They've been a delight to read so far :)

THE BEAST WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE CRAZY

Azalea - "Cray Cray Cannibal"

How did they make me feel?
-Disoriented (by present tense)
-Curious: who is this snake living alone in a dark cave; no sense of backstory
-Off-balance: rapid changes in Azalea's tone/actions with little/no provocation/transition

Likes/dislikes:
-Snake: unique race for the contest
-Action/movement - characters aren't just props, they're alive and doing things
-The snake's speaking style: choppy, incomplete,  colloquial, endearing
-Clear setting (dark, rainy, unlit cave)
-Sensory input (sight, sound, touch)

-Spelling/grammar errors; will be less of a problem with peer review
-Inconsistency in snake's accent: Why are certain "s" sounds extended and others are not. Likely a result of the word limit preventing additional samples.
-I don't think snakes growl.
-Lack of character motivation other than "cray cray."

What they bring to the table:
-Delight in the fear of others
-Mood swings, possibly rapid and unpredictable, even to Azalea herself
-May not play well with others
-Could fit into/through tight spaces


Leota Nettlekin - "Where's Hansel & Gretel?"

How did they make me feel?
-Intrigued
-A mild sense of disgust at the pelts
-Warmth at the seemingly inviting setting amidst the horrid asylum (at first glance)

Likes/dislikes:
-Clear setting right away; vivid picture without wasting words
-Small details about the characters and setting that add to the realism
-Squirrel
-Positive note for this category: it seems equally as likely that she is insane as well as not.

-The setting seems to signify that Leota is crazy as opposed to her actions
-No hints why she would be sold to slavers looking for warriors when her only qualification is cannibalism

What they bring to the table:
-Potential interesting backstory: How did she land in the asylum? Why is she still alive as opposed to having been killed for one reason or another?
-Interactivity with other beasts
-A motherly figure
-Age: wisdom and experience; illnesses/ailments of old age
-Cunning: She'd have to have other ways of killing/subduing beasts than merely overpowering them, given her age
-Well written scenes, if this is any example
-Could likely garner sympathy from cast members, possibly leading to cunning tricks to either get rid of other beasts or get them to do her work for her


Kentigern MacRaff - "The Pipes, the Pipes are Callin'"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Scottish accent,
-Curiosity: Does the medal have any other significance than just a family heirloom?
-Worried: Leaving a wife and child behind
-Confused: Took a while to figure out more or less why he's leaving. To take on "the horde?" Is he alone in this? Is he planning on meeting up with others?

Likes/dislikes:
-Hare (I have a soft-spot for goodbeasts.)
-Accent: gotta love a Scottish brogue
-A familybeast: A loving father/husband possibly making a terrible mistake, despite well-meaning intentions.
-Kentigern obviously has things that he cares about; not detached from people or the world

-Varied vocabulary, though some sentences feel like a mental mouthful

-Grammar mistakes (fixed by peer review)
-No clear hints of madness. Seems to be more a dereliction of duty to go off to fight instead of staying with family.
-Small details: putting daughter to bed, but why is she wearing a dress to bed and why does he pin the medal to it?
-A bit too much figurative language for my taste

What they bring to the table:
-Focused sense of justice: woodlanders = good; vermin = bad; fun to mess with that stereotype.
-Family beast: has compelling reasons to fight to survive
-Likely already knows how to fight, even though we don't have much in the way of evidence to support this supposition
-Will willingly interact with some characters, and reluctantly interact with others

[Rascal]

If you want to be technical art is in the eye of the beholder so all reviews can be considered "simply personal preferences", just with tips for improvement from people who have experience with writing. So your views are just as welcome as anyone elses :D Another pair of eyes might help us to see these characters in yet another light we didn't consider before.

[Crue Sarish]

If you want to be technical art is in the eye of the beholder so all reviews can be considered "simply personal preferences", just with tips for improvement from people who have experience with writing. So your views are just as welcome as anyone elses :D Another pair of eyes might help us to see these characters in yet another light we didn't consider before.

Exactly. It's just my general nature to preface criticism, probably because I don't do it very often for one reason or another.

In other news, I'm reluctantly switching from "knowledgable" to "knowledgeable" to get rid of the red line, despite learning years ago that both spellings were correct. Apparently Google does not agree.


THE BEAST WHO MAKES THINGS

Aldridge Moor - "One of Us!"

How did they make me feel?
-Present: lovely description of the scene, weather, smells
-Disoriented:
-Curious: Does he simply focus on bows (and arrows?) or is there more he makes?
-Curious: Why did people not want him around years ago? Is it because of a character flaw or an accident he caused in the past or simply because he's vermin (living with woodlanders?)

Likes/dislikes:
-Knowledgeable about his craft: different wood types, branding, dyeing
-A sense of worldbuilding: inclusion of different characters, buildings, details of daily life
-Character's thoughts and emotions are relatable, felt on a personal level

-A lot of jumping from bit to bit (setting to two sentences of memory, back to setting, to daughter, to details... question, comment about food, response to food, response to question, etc.)
-Incomplete scope of what his range of abilities include (likely limitation of word count)

What they bring to the table:
-Strong desire to be needed/useful
-Able to make bows (and arrows?), possibly other things, though nothing else specific is indicated
-Will likely relate to other beasts who have been shunned/alone/discriminated against, depending on backstory


Strathcomb Piccadilly - "Make Mossflower Great Again?"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Craftsman showing off his new toy to jealous onlookers
-Comforted: Someone's going to stand up and "fight for the little guy"
-Confused: Talks of how moles aren't usually violent, hints at potential of change, but then sounds more like them going on strike than starting a riot

Likes/dislikes:
-No need to describe what is essentially a "coal mine;" small details included, but allowing reader to paint their own picture
-Mole: Just something different after last season
-Scene flowed nicely, easy to read, clear sense of direction

-Felt like a stereotypical depiction of moles, but as someone less familiar with the Redwall universe, it did work well

What they bring to the table:
-Knowledge and skill, at least in the forging of tools (safe to assume he's made similar tools as a blacksmith)
-A leader who can stand up and take charge
-Strong sense of unity
-Unfamiliarity with combat, but seemingly open to learning if needed

[Crue Sarish]

THE SILLY BEAST

Malukh - "Some watery tart threw a sword at me!"

How did they make me feel?
-Highly amused: Are they certifiably crazy or merely... superlatively eccentric? No, there's a few holes in his textbook
-Curious: No seeming hint of a plan other than "Be King."

Likes/dislikes:
-Malukh's confidence, his full belief in who he is
-Genuinely funny, maintained humor throughout the whole scene
-Idea of him being some "prophecy fulfilled"

-No real reasoning for why he's there other than the convenience of the upcoming setting. "I'm here, because this is where the story is."


What they bring to the table:
-Lighthearted humor and bravado
-Will drive certain characters crazy; opportunities for other cast members to exploit his weaknesses
-Disconnected: No physical or emotional ties to anyone we know of at the moment
-At least enough physical strength to have gotten there on his own(?)
-Potential cannon fodder if not an actual fighter

*Note: Will likely have to find ways of escalating his insanity or return to reality. Maintaining the same level of personality will become old hat before too long.


Kali - "Uh... wait for it... mazing!"

(Looks up "Fox Bat:" D'aww!!! That face!... And "When it locates food, the flying fox "crashes" into foliage and grabs for it." Fitting!)

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Another beast incredibly sure of herself
-Curious: Would a vermin-run tavern actually call itself "a vermin tavern?"
-Curious: How would a bat play a lute? A lot of strings for so few "claws." Could mean she IS exceptionally talented, or it might have just been a "good idea."
-Sympathetic: Bless her heart. Unsure if she's one of those American Idol contestants whose mom tells them they're "just the best!"


Likes/dislikes:
-Bat: more unique beast, flyer
-Honest, and has trouble keeping her mouth shut (i.e. the tavern smell)
-The build-up: her persistence, not taking no for an answer, thing seemingly going well, and not-seemingly going horribly wrong!

-3rd person present omniscient

-A bat with arms?
-Lack of Kali's reactions to some of her surroundings: She reacts to the smell, but not to the dead body on the table. Is that something she's used to seeing or was her reaction merely left out?


What they bring to the table:
-Potentially a more skilled/useful beast at night rather than the day
-A musician: songs/ballads throughout the contest (right?!)
-Persistence: Not allowing one failure to bring her down, but I get the impression that multiple failures wouldn't bode well for this little bat
-A youthful character with much to learn about the world, and learn very quickly if she's suddenly a slave that will likely die in the Arena
-Physical humor: clumsy, but not without some small bit of dexterity

*Note: She strikes me as someone who could be a very emotional character. May be easy for her to break down in reaction to events unless she learns quickly to step up to the challenge and make herself essential to the plot.

[Crue Sarish]

THE BEAST DRIVEN BY LOVE


Ander - "Ladies, you're both pretty."

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: A preening peacock in a mirror
-Confused: ?Go tell the ?corsair leader? to bring his absolute best?? His best what? Wine? Men? Macaroni sculpture of Ander?

Likes/dislikes:
-Lighthearted humor, well done at first, a little heavy-handed later on
-Twist on whose love drives Ander

-Some odd sentence constructions, subject-verb mismatching
-Scene felt a little sparse. Almost as if a camera was only pointed at Ander and we're missing much of what's going on around him
-Little information on the setting. By using the term "corsair," I assume they're on a ship, but then Ander hits his rapier against the ground. Would have liked more details of where they were.

What they bring to the table:
-Someone with some small fighting skill, even if not greatly talented
-Sneaky, underhanded, cunning
-Impression: A beast somewhat unaccustomed to hardship to some degree. I imagine he values the appearance of his hands too much to get them too calloused
-Will drive some characters crazy with his self-adoration/adulation
-May get along with other characters "plotting in secret."


Blu Yardel - "It was the one-armed man!"

How did they make me feel?
-Sympathetic: A beast in trouble, not allowed to tell her side of the story (vermin among woodlanders)
-Doubly sympathetic: Insult to injury in having her own home ransacked
-Continued sympathy
-Curiosity: How did they get there?  Has she been in trouble elsewhere before?
-Aaand... that escalated quickly!

Likes/dislikes:
-A vivid picture of the predicament Blu is in and hints at what put her in that predicament
-Sympathy evoked by the scene
-The secondary characters are characters as well, not just an extension of herself (they have needs/wants, too)
-Natural transitions between scenes.

-Details left out due to word count that would satiate my own curiosity (what did she steal that would put her in the stockade and almost lead to a death sentence? Is she on the run from something or someone? Is this the first time she's been in trouble?)

What they bring to the table:
-A mother fighting for her children, ferocity
-Likely to work well with other contestants, and clash with those who would keep her from her kits
-A caring, motherly figure, and/or someone who won't take sass from others because she already got enough from her kids, but she would give anything to have their sass back
-Strength enough to carry her kids, and then defend them from experienced criminals who've come after her before


Minerva - "The Prince likes everyone to be healthy... before they're broken."

How did they make me feel?
-Curious: Could tell right away she had someone in her shed, guessing why
-Amused: a pseudo-caring act toward her helpless prisoner
-And she's not kidding around
-Oh dear! How many corpses are out there?
-Curious: What happened to her husband?

Likes/dislikes:
-A caring character under the right conditions
-First scene painted a vivid picture without wasted words. Leaving a gap between scenes allowed reader to fill in their own blanks
-Hints to her backstory sprinkled lightly

What they bring to the table:
-Capacity for caring, though will likely be very selective
-Someone not afraid to get her hands dirty when the situation requires, almost seemed to enjoy or at least find satisfaction in "aggressively questioning" the weasel
-Working on a farm, she's likely strong and accustomed to hardship
-No nonsense
-Able to "live two lives," at least temporarily (ruthless questioner and doting mother)
-A bit bloodthirsty: tortures and kills multiple beasts to get what she wants, possibly because a part of her enjoys it?

[Crue Sarish]

THE BEAST DRIVEN BY REVENGE

Silas Hetherton - "Dam it!"

How did they make me feel?
-Sympathy: A father losing his entire family after having to watch them waste away
-Mildly Intrigued

Likes/dislikes:
-Clear picture of Silas's current state, physically, emotionally, monetarily

-Someone else sort of telling the story; Silas is reactive to the sudden news
-Sort of surprised that Orwell's only role was to tell the story, not offering a cup of water or anything else for an old friend who's obviously struggling. Made it feel like Silas could have easily overheard the story at a tavern and it would have had the same impact as hearing it from a "friend."

What they bring to the table:
-Personable, still chats with old friends he hasn't seen in about 10 years
-Accustomed to hardship and dealing with failure on a large scale
-Strength born of long hours farming and in debtor's prison
-Will likely work well with others as long as Burrfield doesn't show up
-Author will have to work out how to balance his revenge plot with the rest of the story/cast
-Not an "old" character, but neither is Silas young or impulsive


Altra Gnawear - "Shun the unwashed masses!"

How did they make me feel?
-Someone's high and mighty...
-Yah, she's got some issues
-And that was convenient

Likes/dislikes:
-The regality Altra displays, different than the personality of other contestants I've read so far (and no, the "weasel king" does not count)
-A few subtle cultural details (clans, emblems, etc.)

-A couple small SPAG issues
-It doesn't feel like there's a lot of depth to her character. There's some character traits we see, but she's primarily a tall ball of anger with a penchant for looming over others.

What they bring to the table:
-The object of her revenge is (possibly) already where the contestants will be;  could be introduced early or later in the story as needed
-A short temper
-A reluctance to associate with any who she considers lower than herself unless they provide a clear benefit in some form
-May see herself as a leader, but whether or not she would be is yet to be seen
-May have been somewhat sheltered, having such a narrow view of others and the world around her
-Fairly young at only 20 seasons old. Plenty to learn yet


Tope Benwrath - "Less Ben, more Wrath"

How did they make me feel?
-Mildly amused
-And you made him mad... Ouch!
-More characters standing by to fill out the scene
-Intrigued: A fairly black and white (ha) way of looking at things

Likes/dislikes:
-Small exhibition of Tope's skill as a fighter
-Tope's physical tally of "how good/bad he is"
-His worldview lends to the idea that he wants to do bad, but actually has to do some good whether he wants to or not; potentially vice versa

-A bit of mystery regarding who these "goodbeasts" are he intends to kill, though no hints as to who they are or why they're on his "list."
-Point system is subjective. Does he have a list of what certain choices are "worth?" or does he decide on the fly?

-Extra quotation marks...
-Scene formation is choppy. There's a tavern, but where is Tope?
-No hints to a backstory. Pieces of what he wants and possible goal for the future, but not a whole lot on who he really is.

What they bring to the table:
-A bit of barely restrained bloodlust
-A morally ambiguous character, could as easily (not "weasily," silly fingers) turn hero as villain, but still has some strange form of moral compass
-At least some skill as a fighter, knows how to take a blow (or may not feel pain?)
-Willing to talk with other beasts to a point
-Far from a child, but still young. Still has things to learn about the world.

[Crue Sarish]

BEAST WITH THE GIFT OF GAB

Sly Speakeasy - "You didn't see anything..."

How did they make me feel?
-Mildly amused: creative name for category
-Curiosity: What is this beast all about?
-Amused: Creative story about the "evil twin" done well

Likes/dislikes:
-Dialogue/story flowed smoothly
-Narration reflected Sly's character; less of an external narrator and more closely tied to what the character is experiencing

-Opening was a bit wordy

What they bring to the table:
-A small beast, light on his feat
-Confident in his own cunning; not necessarily overconfident, but definitely having the potential to become so
-Lighthearted
-Likely to interact well with most beasts
-An almost roguish charm


Hoober Blackfoot - "The best seat by the fire was reserved for..."

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: mildly comical in his own right (a little clumsy, a bit of a packrat, amuses himself when alone)
-Sympathetic: all he's doing is trying to get from point A to point B
-Intrigued: Hoober seemingly knows how to take advantage in a situation, notices details that may work in his favor

Likes/dislikes:
-Great opening ditty
-Good description of setting and characters; felt dynamic and alive
-Nice balance of action/dialogue given word count constraints

-Didn't see Hoober "gab" much persay; the demonstration was short but one can guess he could wax eloquent under the right circumstances

What they bring to the table:
-Storyteller: entertainer, possibly likely to keep morale up, may offer advice through story
-Has at least an idea of how to read people around him
-A realist: willing to protect himself but aware when he's outmatched
-Possibly rather clever: adjusting to change in circumstances, planning on the fly


Betchel - "Guaranteed, or your money back!"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused/intrigued: unique beast, fun opening with the "unexpected fly in the ointment"
-Sympathetic: she was there first, known adversary arrives to disrupt, she tries to be better
-Respecting: honest enough to protect another beast when there's a legitimate threat; might have let a poor-sap get conned (and allowed Gurry to ruin his own reputation) had the product actually been metaphorical "snake oil" as opposed to "snake venom"
-Shocked: a bit more than an oops.

Likes/dislikes:
-Alliteration done well as she insults Gurry
-Well written less than friendly competition

-Small hint to tragic(?)/difficult past

-Felt less "chatty/gabby," but by nature a street merchant typically displays a well-exercised tongue

What they bring to the table:
-A measure of honesty/care, empathy for the plight of those truly down on their luck
-Either doesn't truly know her own strength or was incredibly unlucky at (nearly?) killing Gurry
-A beast capable of flight, better night vision and hearing
-A possible history of bad luck/fortune/experiences
-May try to hide her past in order to make friends/alliances with other cast members. I don't see her willingly opening up about something like this unless she had a compelling reason

[Vizon]

Regarding "Gift of Gab" applicant Sly Speakeasy:

Opening was a bit wordy

Ho ho!

Also - pretty sure Bechtel's male ;)

Thanks for further thoughts, Crue! I'm about to vote and was looking for some extra feedback.

[Crue Sarish]

Also - pretty sure Bechtel's male ;)

Ah... Right. These are "first" impressions :)

[Crue Sarish]

(Too late for Crue to apply again?)

HEALER

Jasper Hooklaw - "This might hurt a little."

How did they make me feel?
-Caught up in the entire scene
-Excited, sympathetic, frustrated for Jasper's troubles

Likes/dislikes:
-Vivid imagery of the scene
-Scene was very straightforward, no need for clever devices
-Continual movement forward; even when Jasper stops to help the rat, the action continues around them

-At first, hard to tell if the injuries described were Jasper's or others'

What they bring to the table:
-An on-the-fly medic, experienced on the battlefield
-A cool head in the face of danger
-Capable of defending himself
-Calculated, not impulsive
-Values the lives of he beasts he cares for; would like to save as many as he physically can


Kentrith Hapley - "Reporting live!"

How did they make me feel?
-Sympathetic: responding to the healer's frustration at the lack of good help, and at his own unenviable situation
-Curious: How did Kentrith end up there? He's clearly subject to Nire, but where exactly is he in the hierarchy of beasts at the Crater?

Likes/dislikes:
-The relatable frustration that Kentrith felt, both with the people around him and with this station
-Felt sympathy for Ken's plight and his desire to actually help beasts in need

-Written 10 years before the story begins; a lot may/will have changed and it's hard to tell what kind of beast Kentrith is now. May very well have become a gladiator by this point or may have worked his way into a more favorable position. Open-ended timeline.

-A sort of typical script for the "villainous" Nire
-Repetitive language: all his tools are "custom" or "special." Could have been more descriptive
-A couple of phrases irked me: "The black-tipped ears" (non-personal)
-A timing issue: Nire patiently waits to offer a retort while Kentrith removes a crossbow tip, sews the beast up, and disinfects the wound

What they bring to the table:
-Someone familiar with Nire and the Crater: knows other beasts as well as the layout of the area
-Somewhat innovative, potentially fastidious: using tools of his own design, making do with lesser materials
-A potentially fascinating backstory involving the Crater, his family, and history as a fighter to a greater or lesser degree
-Level-headedness
-Years of stress built up before the story begins


Maeve - "Fun-sized physician"

Question: Did the Long Patrol deal in slaves or have much to do with slaves?

How did they make me feel?
-Confusion: Why is she slapping millipedes on her sister's leg? How many beasts are nearby? Maeve is muzzled but still speaking? or is her sister?
-Concern: Young sisters, slaves, pursued by a stronger force
-Curiosity: What's the full meaning and origin of the "blood and blessings" phrase?

Likes/dislikes:
-Chose to go with a young character; rare among applications
-Lovely description of the woods
-Good action/movement through the whole scene
-Curious as to exactly what kind of balance Maeve is seeking

-Confused by some of the dialogue; Maeve is a bit of an odd duck
-Maeve won't go far with three arrow wounds, no matter how well they're tended; would have to find help pretty quickly (or get captured and treated pretty quickly)

What they bring to the table:
-Quite young!
-A need for "balance" may affect choices she'd rather not make in the future
-An herbalist: will she be able to adapt to the different resources she'd have in the Crater?
-Likely plenty of repressed emotions from trying to follow her mother's worldview; may not allow herself to take certain actions she otherwise would
-Motivation to save her sister if Rilla happens to end up at the Crater as well (or she'll desire to go after Rilla wherever she is, before or after saving their mother)
-A measure of blind faith: knows their mother is alive, though it sounds like it's still a long-shot. Did Maeve have some sort of premonition or portent that she clings to that makes her so certain? Does she need their mother to still be alive and thus continues to believe it?

[Airan]

Hey, Crue. It's really fun reading these. First impressions are pretty important when it comes to apps, so seeing a thread basically dedicated to them is a nice change of pace.

Question: Did the Long Patrol deal in slaves or have much to do with slaves?

Not at all. Usually they were the ones saving them. However, woodlanders keeping vermin slaves is pretty popular in Redwall fanfiction so it's not too big of a deal. Though- speaking this story takes place in the same universe as MO3 about a generation or so before Atlas shows up- if Maeve makes it in, I'd have to probably reference the "Long Patrol's Dark Period" within MO3 or 5 speaking the Waverunners are all Lawful Good now. Certainly not hard to do though, and definitely nothing worth not voting for Maeve over.

[Crue Sarish]

THE THIEF

Adeen Pinebarrow - "Regrets, I've had a few..."

How did they make me feel?
-Confused: Who is Duke Granz? The hare? Someone else? On whom are they exacting this revenge?
-Amused: How would this "rob from the rich" story end? They're clever, but perhaps a bit too bold
-Not shocked: Adeen won't pass up the opportunity to further her revenge
-Shocked: She went for it and has now lost everything

Likes/dislikes:
-Can easily feel the anger that Adeen has toward the hare couple
-The hares had their own feelings and responses to the situation; didn't simply stand idly by after the break-in
-Great hints at the backstory; possibly lost her kids in addition to everything else

What they bring to the table:
-Adeen is a bit cheeky, willing to press her luck to try and glean a little bit more for herself
-Vindictive; wants to cause maximum harm to those who wronged her and her family
-Not fully in control of her emotions and reactions; impulsive to a fault
-Heavily guilt-ridden at not only encouraging her husband in their vendetta, but being the ultimate cause of his death (but will she blame others for murdering him or take that on herself?)

*Note: Will have to have a compelling reason to stay alive. It may be her kids are still alive and need her to return to them, or she will find some other goal to work toward.


Faye - "Hey look! A distraction!

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Calm, confident opening
-Okay... so she caught a coin in her mouth...
-Amused: "...it will instead... be yours. And that will bother me deeply... forever."

Likes/dislikes:
-Easily flowing banter
-Lighthearted in contrast to other darker characters
-Actions were short but calculated and entertaining

-Grimclaw felt a little static: solitary beast doesn't want to be bothered but is willing to comply for reasons

What they bring to the table:
-A small measure of theatrics
-Finds ways of getting along with most beasts even if they'd rather not interact with her; will likely get creative if she really needs something from someone
-Self-deprecating humor
-Possibly not much of a fighter; could (try to) talk her way out of less favorable circumstances
-Somewhat calculated; may not take great risks unless the reward was substantial or the conditions were at least somewhat favorable
-Not sure if this would happen, but Faye strikes me as someone who would step up and take charge of a situation if she felt it was necessary (either because she was needed or because beasts were taking too long to make a decision)


Lacey 'Silver Tail' McTally - "Say hello to my little friend!"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Lacey's committed to her "art"
-That's a bit of a strange thing for an eagle to do
-Concerned: Yah, that squirrel's not going to make it

Likes/dislikes:
-The amusement that Lacey feels regarding her own cleverness
-Enjoyable details: the eagle hanging upside down, her bit of paunch let loose, her pleasure at pulling out the wine
-Active dialogue, characters responding to small verbal/physical cues instead of great elaborate exchanges (which is fine in other circumstances, but it was simply handled well here)

-A few grammatical errors (verb tense)

What they bring to the table:
-A con-artist; not just a smooth-talking brigand
-Not a standard "feminine female;" no delicate flower or dutiful wife here
-Enjoys adulation, affirmation; leaving the conned feeling good about themselves (until reality sinks in, at least)
-Sharp Eyes is fairly tied to Lacey; will likely come as a pair similar to Chak and Reedox; Sharp Eyes, though, is the killer of the pair
-My not be the most fit character of the cast; enough to do what she needs to do, but I don't think she's "in shape" per say
-Takes a measure of pleasure in "helping" people, even if it's just a ruse; enjoys the accolades in addition to the the rewards
-Very personable, as evidenced by being able to pull off the con so successfully

[Crue Sarish]

THE TRAVELER

Jarl - "And I choose... What in the world could that be?!"

How did they make me feel?
-Mildly amused: a couple of clever lines
-Change into Jarl giving information
-Intrigued: a hint at his backstory involving banishment
-Amused: good transition into the wolverine's arrival, "stealing the show"
-Amused: Could tell Jarl wouldn't out himself, but his response to the wolverine was well done

Likes/dislikes:
-Quiet, lighthearted humor; a few good quips
-Character details: tattoos, clan history
-Some fun wordplay scattered into the scene, i.e. "...Jarl uses the warrior spirit flowing through his veins to make a hasty retreat..."

-Spelling/grammar errors
-Felt a little formulaic: "How do you know this?" "Because I know it! Many people do. I tell people."

What they bring to the table:
-A larger beast, aware of his own (lack of) physical prowess as well as his girth
-A coward, for whatever reason(s)
-A connection to "Bloodclaw" and whoever works for him
-Tales of the places he's been
-Knows how to talk with beasts, especially vermin; persists in making sure beasts' eyes are on him
-Guessing he is capable of holding his liquor, at least to a point
-Enjoys being the center of attention; perhaps to make up for having been rejected/banished by his clan
-As a scribe, he would be at least somewhat learned on certain topics


Komi Banton - "He ran into my knife ten times!"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: A fairly capable musician
-Curious: Rather strong dislike/hatred of woodlanders, especially those from Redwall; she's been there before; not just a former soldier, but an officer... a deserter who some might think caused the deaths of their comrades

Likes/dislikes:
-Enjoyable few verses of the song
-Clear view of what Komi is thinking and feeling throughout the whole scene; good, tight narration
-Enough backstory to paint a decent picture of who Komi used to be and why she is where she is
-Good action in a short span of time; effective use of words to convey the motion and results

What they bring to the table:
-A name that's well known among a particular group of soldiers, recognizable for cowardice
-A capable fighter; potentially capable strategist
-A beast who's been in command before, and may (un)willingly do so again or even freeze up at the possibility of having to be in charge
-A pragmatist; guessing that she recognized the folly of assaulting Redwall and turned-tail (not sure if she tried convincing others)
-Values her own life; isn't willing to throw it away on something that's not a sure deal or realistically feasible
-Can work with some beasts, but strikes me as someone who sticks to herself unless she has a reason for interaction
-Commits to a course of action: abandoned the battle at Redwall; does her job as an entertainer instead of being picky with her customers; made sure all three vermin who recognized her face were dead


Diamond - "My way... Which way's my way?"

How did they make me feel?
-Amused: Great set-up to Diamond's act
-Highly amused: Diamond's... tease...
-Aw :( That's a rude response!
-That's so sad!

Likes/dislikes:
-Good painting of the setting, leaving enough to the imagination
-Several humorous points in the short scene
-Great word pictures of Diamond herself, mentioning her muscles but creating a more vivid image through the audience's reaction and her feats of strength
-Clear emotional turn-around done well, felt truly bad for her when she's trying so hard to be herself and to save the show

-As far as the contest goes, I'm not sure if there would be another motivator for her in the Crater other than self-preservation. Not to say that's not enough. Just a note.

What they bring to the table:
-Incredible strength
-Obviously not a fighter; I see her as a bit of a softy, knows her own strength and doesn't want to accidentally hurt other people
-Sociable, wants to get along with other beasts
-Impression: Wants other beasts to be happy, to feel safe
-Willing to be herself, to be different; likely comfortable in her own fur - felt like she was more sad for the non-acceptance of the other beasts than embarrassed by her own appearance
-A history of hard work
-Years of not having her shot in the limelight: could cause her to enjoy the attention she'd get at the Crater, and/or it could be completely horrified at the reasons she's the focus

[Crue Sarish]

UGH! Will get to the last category soon. Had finished when the website was like "You should probably log in again" and I ended up losing what I'd written... Meh.

Guess I'll take a moment to mention that about 75% of these characters are certifiably insane! Some of them hide it well, and others are just the kind of beasts you don't want to be locked in a room with. Should make for an interesting story, depending on who gets in.

[Rascal]

Eh, Sanity is realitive. :)

Annnnnnnd realitive to the common concept of normal yeah, we have a few bat bonkers (and literal bats) type characters.