Comments From a Simple Treedog

[Sycamore]

So I haven't read all the entries yet, mostly because I'm still on vacation. But I've read a few and that's cool enough. Let me see what I can scrounge together in the short amount of time I have.

Bellona- I see a passionate war hero that's not quite passionate about war. The entry was pretty good. I liked the completely outlandish accent that Captain Sailpaw has, even though he impeded my understanding of what was going on, which is fantastic. It forced me to speak out loud, and while that was incredibly fun and entertaining, it garnered some weird looks. So thanks for embarrassing me. That accent could certainly give the moles a run for their money. I almost wished that you had entered Sailpaw to see you keep it up the whole time.

As for Bellona, she'd be good for a protagonist. Wise (maybe, at least . . . umm . . . some antonym to naive and innocent), and she can fight. I hear there are a lot of vermin abroad, so I'm excited to see her interact with them. Will she hold prejudices, or stick to a more grey course? I hope to see something a little more biased. Those are always fun.

Oh no! I gotta go. More to come!

[Sycamore]

Finishing up with my comments for Bellona, first. Definitely keep her hostile towards vermin. I dislike a grey character when it's unwarranted. Meadowbrook would be a good example, maybs, pulling from my own personal experiences. I think I did a good job putting her in a grey area and being believable about it, too, but sometimes I wish that I had made Sycamore a little more wary towards the vermin species. Of course, he had to make an exception to Cinder, considering they were chained together for two seasons. That could make anybeast forget about prejudices. Um, I'll stop rambling on about myself.

Point is, Bellona's warring against vermin - don't make her like them. That's my biggest fear. That you will.

Revel- This one really threw me back in terms of being awesome. I love the prose, and I love the character. She's got this innocent visciousness to her that I'm practically head over heels about. Dialogue rocks; I like her accent. I could gush about her all day, but I think you've got the point. I can't wait to see you write.

Suellyn- You must be the one Shorey was gushing about. ^^

I'm not too sure about Susie here. An anorexic hedgehog, eh? Props for the hedgepiggery, but slops for the disease. That's not to say I don't like how you did it. The writing was great, and the description of ashes? <3.  But what's keeping her alive to run through a contest like this? You'll have to find something, because she's already approaching death's door, and her will is almost non-existent. You probably already know what you're going to do, but I can't figure it out. I dunno. I really can't say much, though, considering what I did to Meadowbrook, but she at least had a will. I can't detect one in Susie. I guess all I can say is good luck, because right now Susie's rather weak.

Eliza- Your prose is magnificent. I loved reading this entry and I'll probably read it again a few more times, so that is fantastic. HOWEVER. Eliza is not very canon, is she? I mean, I've never read about balls held on hilltop mansions in the Redwall series before, and I doubt I ever will. Eliza to me would work more in a VI type setting, which is not very Redwally.

Granted, I know nothing about this contest and where it's going to be held and when, but the lack of information would automatically make me lean towards creating a more canon character than a less canon one.

Given that, and this being a survivor contest, I am quite excited to see how Eliza's going to interact with the motley assortment she will find herself in, what with her vanity and pompous attitude. It should create quite the interactive interactions.

More later!

[Rath the Whirlwind]

Thank you for commenting, Sycamore.

To be honest, I'm somewhat surprised that you're the only one reviewing the nine. 

[Revel]

Yes, thank you Sycamore! I'm almost done my first post, so you won't have to wait too long once Tara begins the story.

:mspacman: ~ Revs

[Cairn Destop]

To be honest, I'm somewhat surprised that you're the only one reviewing the nine.  

I think a lot of us are reluctant to comment on the applications.  I made that mistake in QB-3 and found myself the target of a flame war because everyone said my comments "amounted to sour grapes because you didn't make it."

I'm also thinking I'll sit out commenting on ANYthing in this contest.  Between the flaming chicks and a certain captain regarding one word and the rest of the audience on my "attacks" regarding one cast member, I've learned my lesson.  Silence is golden.

[Damask the Minstrel]

Now if some of us ask for private comments through PM, though...

[Cairn Destop]

Now if some of us ask for private comments through PM, though...

A different ball of wax.  Though I must warn you, if you ask, I'll not hold back any punches.  And then again, I may have to tone that down.  I've already lost enough online friends due to such honesty.

Though I do think comments on the application is a bit pointless.  None of the action relates to the upcoming story.  Even characterization is a moot issue since the author can alter their character at this point.  For instance, there are comments on another thread about anorexia and being a baron.

If the writer decided that this fault could become a distraction, they can revamp their character in the story.  It has happened in other survivor contests, so I would not be surprised if there is a reversal of certain personality traits.  For all I know, our anorexic canidate might become the local glutton once the story is underway.

[Damask the Minstrel]

Kind of redundant, due to my topic I just wrote, but...

I don't want punches pulled, but try not to be scornful or nasty. You've been in our shoes, so you know that you can phrase comments to show that you disliked a post without being snarky  about it.

[Eliza Lacrimosa]

Thank you very much for the review, Sycamore!

I knew that the canon might be an issue, but there have been enough hints at the existence of an upper crust (through some of the comments of various rabbits and hares) that it doesn't seem too terribly unlikely that a vermin nobility could exist somewhere in the foreign reaches of the canon world. 

That, of course, is my own imagination, though.  :P

[Sycamore]

Haha, of course! It just conflicts with my own, and it's something that I just have to get over. ^^

Are you a VI-er, speaking of which?

[Eliza Lacrimosa]

I'm afraid I can neither confirm nor deny that, my good treedog.  :-X

[Sycamore]

UGH. FINE.

But I think you are. From what I remember of playing Vessy over there, Eliza is a VI character, straight down to the vermin species.

YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

Unless you did . . .

[Bellona Littlebrush]

Thank you for reviewing, Sycamore, sir. I can assure you, you haven't seen the last of Sailpaw, although...*coughs* The Captain's accent will be getting a dressing down before it gets to come out and play again. I couldn't keep that up or stand it for a week and I wouldn't want the audience to have to suffer its confounded-ness, either. As for your concerns about me liking vermin. Rest assured I find them all detestable. They're evil, by and large. A few might fall into the greyish area, but I base my opinions on what I see of the majority, not the minority. *nods smartly*

[Dozystoat]

I'm taking over Syc's review thread 'cos we're buddies and I know he won't mind. If I ever have something interesting to say about the story/characters, I shall do so here. GOT IT, SYC? Good.

So far, nothing much, except I have to have to have to say:

Revel.

I am going to love you to the ends of the earth, always and forever, no matter what. Stoat + eating vole = one very, very happy Dozy.

[Revel]

Thank you Sycamore and Dozystoat! You cutey.  :-* Say, want to go for lunch sometime?