I don't know much but I got feelings

[Ember Nickel]

Awful MS Paint sketches? As in, like, "I see a Redventure and I want to Paint it with Microsoft?"

So totally on this.

[Eliza Lacrimosa]

Good gravy. I know a picture's worth a thousand words, but I'm not sure how'd you'd condense an entire post into one MS Paint graphic.

Come to think of it, that only makes the concept more intriguing, actually...

[Sparrowhawk]

I wasn't sure if I should post in this thread or that other thread, but:





I'll have you know I actually downloaded a Mac imitation of MS Paint specifically for the purpose of creating these masterpieces. powerpoints may be forthcoming or not, who knows.

but probably no standup comedy since I'm camera shy, sorry Revel :(

[Damask the Minstrel]

So... is that Revel eating and Su sad, or is Revel actually eating Su's sadness. 'Cause that would be awesome.

[Sparrowhawk]

it's actually supposed to be keane, rofl

But it's art, so, you know. Interpret it whichever way.

[Sparrowhawk]

WAIT. Sailpaw's a squirrel? I thought otter because, you know, nautical aphorisms out the wazoo, but I guess I thought wrong and/or didn't read very closely. BUT ANYWAY his accent's better.

"Someone had better start explaining things."

Somebeast! Somebeast

"Now gentleman..."

AUGHHHHHH

kidding, kidding. I liked this post better than your first one. I really enjoyed Damask's debating with himself over whether or not to cut and run, and later putting his smooth-talking skills to use on the Captain.

The ending was confusing though! For me, at least (big surprise, I know). Maybe Deadtail's post will clarify some, but I didn't quite understand how he ended up digging, why the vermin were even bothering to dig a tunnel when they could have conceivably gone through the main entrance (?), what Damask stood to gain by preventing Sailpaw from killing Deadtail, and whether or not Deadtail ends up being taken prisoner by the group (though again, I imagine this will be clarified later).

[Damask the Minstrel]

Argh! I corrected one 'gentleman' and missed the other!

The 'why help sailpaw' will be explained, but...

Since we won't see the Holt again, I'll concede that I didn't explain why they chose to dig properly. I debated whether to spend more time with the setting or not, and evidently it backfired. So...

The embankment of the broad stream, at this point, is a reflex angle. So, the edge is wedge-shaped, like Pride Rock in Lion King (not quite that sharp). The entrance is underneath that overhang. So to get in, you have to lower your body over the edge, hanging by your hands and swing in. Not good for a horde to try and rush (one at a time). I tried to convey that with the description and the fact that two tried to attack in the night and were unsuccessful. So, instead of losing x number of people failing to get in one at a time, they decided that digging in from behind was easier. And left one fellow back to dig while they set up a cushy camp.

(And, as Damask points out, Deadtail didn't end up digging, which is why he guessed that Deadtail killed the beast that did do the digging.)

[Bellona Littlebrush]

That's not nautical...that's Scottish...*fails at accents* And yes, Sailpaw is a squirrel. In my app, Sailpaw recounts a tale where Bell bets she can outclimb him. He's taken aback that a dormouse thinks she climb better than a squirrel. Sail is referring more to his ability to sail through the treetops with ease.

[Sparrowhawk]

Well I got the Scottish what with the "cannae" and "ken". This was mostly what led me astray I think, from Damask's previous post:

Ye' be useful as a chainless rudder

'Ells an' windstorms lass

And I definitely don't remember the climbing bit, must have read that one a bit too fast. So, my fault.

Also Damask, thanks for clearing that bit up. I figured it was something like that, ie being able to pick off the vermin as they tried to enter. Still a little confused about how Deadtail ended up where he was, but I'll wait for his post to explain that.

[Damask the Minstrel]

Welll... let's forget Sailpaw's accent in my last post. That would be best for everyone. (We didn't have a lot of time to convene about what it should be like, so I kind of butchered it. Every time I try to think 'highlander accent' my brain says, "Ooo... make him talk like Sean Connery!" It's bad.)

[Sparrowhawk]

Okay, okay, I'll let it go. ;)

darn. when i acknowledge that the accents are relatively trivial, I have nothing to give advice on. :'(

HERE HAVE SOME AMAZING FANART INSTEAD:

[Damask the Minstrel]

XD That's one -red- head. Must've been some bad carrot juice.

[Sparrowhawk]

I'M COLOR BLIND SO SUE ME. >:( not really but the palette of my MS-paint imitation program is rather limited. I could use Photoshop but then it might actually come out looking good or looking like it's trying to look good, God forbid

If she held her breath in these moments and listened to the vibrations of her blood, it sounded almost like the echoes of a fly thrumming its wings.

THIS IS SO PRETTY. and also kind of scary. Babies are scary, aren't they? I mean when they're growing, so technically still fetuses. But a second you, a second stomach, something feeding off you - that's weird. It reminds me of a horror movie I saw a couple months back about a vampire baby or somesuch (i couldn't sleep for weeks)

that's all. Yes, I bumped my thread for the sake of fluff got a problem with that?

[Damask the Minstrel]

No, no, that wasn't an insult!

Remember, Damask used carrot juice in his application as 'stage makeup', hence the joke. I'm enjoying how bad it is.

[Revel]

Babies are scary! Even after they're born. Imagine when it wants to hunt for its own woodlander meal.

I'm happy you liked that line. I was scared it would be too cliche or something worse! "Echoes" is a dangerous word to work with.


:mspacman: ~ Rev!