Masika & Mara's Tribute Reviews 1.5

[Mara the Wolf]

Masika: Hey maidens and gentlebeasts, we're back!
Mara: The Grey Coincidence made such a great chapter, we're going to be doing another review topic! Take a bow, Grey! But of course, before we can look at the chapters, we'll be looking at the character apps themselves!
Masika: You may be wondering about the 1.5. Well, it ain't really a Survivor Contest, so... *shrugs*
Mara: Anyways, let's get started!

[Mara the Wolf]

Masika: Alright, first up: Character Reviews! There ain't a Top 30 this time around—
[Audience boos]
Mara: But we'll review 'em anyway!

Abbess Gentian
Species: Mouse
Gender: Female
Age: 57
Category: Abbess of Redwall

Masika: Master Slink, a toad, is hoping that Redwall will give the toads food and/or shelter now that winter's hit, but Gentian lets this toad know Redwall ain't catering to any bullying beast! Attagirl, Gentian! She reminds Slink of how his kind have stolen from other beasts, and from Redwall's fields—funny, if I remember BJ's canon correctly, all of their crops are grown inside the walls...Have the toads been slipping inside Redwall's...well, walls?...Well, anyway...and beating up their scouts...Funny, I could've sworn Sam Squirrel and Elmtail started a Mossflower Patrol of squirrels in the epilogue of Mattimeo.
Mara: Well, I don't believe it's brought up again, so it's easy to forget that little detail. Anyway, this mousie is a toughie, and totally reminds me of Abbess Vanessa from Highwing's works (and that is high praise, Tibs! Take a bow!) I love this mouse, but I hope we get to learn a bit about Paten, btw.

Score: 9/10

Peri
Species: Eurasian bullfinch
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Category: Infirmary Keeper

Masika: Next up, it's Peri! And immediately, a certain author wants to remove a point or two for not making this character a squirrel, and thus be a reference to a Felix Salten novel. But, anyway. Peri is finishing up a busy day when Acer, a mouse Dibbun, comes in with a hurt arm after falling from a tree. Peri is quite knowledgeable in her field, but I'm especially impressed she can do all this with just one foot and her beak! (birds don't have the cheat of using their wings as hands in BJ's canon) Then, she settled down for the night after a quick inventory.
Mara: I ain't seeing much outside of your run-of-the-mill Infirmary Keeper. But who knows?

Score: 6/10

Mrs. Flowers
Species: Mole
Gender: Female
Age: 45 years
Category: Foremole

Masika: Oh no, it's a mole! After writing the minor mole Fenrow for a Mini-Contest, our author understands now why few people write 'em! Cobb, we pity you! Well, anyway. Mrs. Flowers is a tough li'l mole who's taken over the role of Foremole after her mate, Murbol, has passed away. She's tough on the other moles, but only because these sexists don't wanna take workin' fer a molemaiden seriously. She genuinely misses her mate and talks to his her picture before dinner...Um, Mara, mind sharing the tissues?
Mara: *Is wiping her eyes with tissues* *Passes Masika the Kleenax* P-p-poor Mrs. Flowers! She misses her mate so much, and she just wants these beasts' respect! *sobs*

Score: 8/10

Timothy Gracepaw
Species: Squirrel
Gender: Male
Age: 50
Category: Abbey Friar

Masika: A big feast is coming up (when don't Redwallers feast?), and Timothy is all about showing these weary travelers a delicious feast. Umm, how do they know about these weary travelers? Redwall doesn't have a mail system. Do they have bird scouts or something? Well, anyway, Timothy makes my mouth water as he talks to himself about the meal, when Arthur ends up burning the mushrooms. So, they'll just have to improvise.
Mara: I'm surprised they don't have an endless supply. And, depending on what type of mushroom, that may actually be a blessin'. Well, anyway, Timothy's demeanor is more that of the head chef of a 4- or 5-star restaurant than the Abbey Friar. Also, I can't help but imagine Timothy as a mouse. *shrugs*

Score: 7/10

Log-a-Log
Gender: Male
Species: Shrew
Category: Log-A-Log of the Guosim

Masika: Log-a-Log is down alone by the river when the tribe's hero, Rubtus, comes up, seemingly nervous. Log-a-Log gives him his blessing to court his daughter Orphah, tells him he wants Rubtus to become the next Log-a-Log, and that he considers Rubtus the son he never had...right before Rubtus murders Log-a-Log. Rubtus alerts the Gousim, and they elect Rubtus the new Log-a-Log, not knowing he was the beast to kill the old Log-a-Log.
Mara: Well well, Highwing ain't the only fanfiction author to write verminous shrews. Can't wait to find out how the little rat bites it.

Score: 8/10

Aquillian Nibs
Species: Hedgehog
Gender: Male
Age: 54 seasons.
Category: Cellarhog

Masika: It's the Autumn of Raucous Robin, and Aquillian Nibs is preparing for a contest known as a Brew Barrelling. He imagines how his elderflower champagne will be so delicious it'll make his rival Gregory Glitham the Glutton want to take Aquillian as his apprentice, and Aquillian would decline, saying Glitham uses too much honey. Then we meet the Gluttonous Glitham the hare himself.
Mara: Definitely a fun introduction. And just like Mrs. Flowers, he's complaining about young beasts. *sniffs, as my fursonas are incapable of snorting* It would be fun to see this Brew Barrelling go down.

Score: 8/10

Elsine
Species: Badger
Gender: Female
Category: Recorder

Masika: Elsine, the Abbey Recorder as well as the Badgermum, is cramped in the Abbey Gatehouse, the official quarters of the Abbey Recorder. Here's a thought: Why not move? Redwall got a library just below the attic (which was turned into a resting area for the elderly) in High Rhulain, and Matthias, Cornflower, Mattimeo, Tess, and Martin III all lived in the gatehouse. Don't you think they might've moved the records? Well, anyway, Elsine is suffering from "scribe's block", and is implied to go into a temporary Bloodwrath (it's stated "the shallow red mist over them parting"), which brings her friend Arden the otter rushing. He offers to take her on a stroll for a date, but Elsine's having none of it.
Mara: Elsine is definitely a cool old sow. She feels a lot like Constance, really.

Score: 9/10

Jaskia
Species: Hare
Gender: Female
Category: Abbey Gardener

Masika: Jaskia tends to her gardens, noticing some of the Dibbuns have been stealing her carrots again. She replants and moves on to pick berries. She gives one last look at her beloved gardens before heading in.
Mara: She seems a generic gardener, really. She kinda gives off this grandmotherly vibe. Btw, a certain author is a tad jealous, considering her attempts at taking care of plants always winds up with dead plants.

Score: 6/10

Bo (Sticky)
Species: Badger
Gender: Male
Age: On The Younger Side
Category: Beekeeper

Masika: And now, for the character written by the author who made our author want to do reviews for this Collab: Sticky! ...I mean, Bo! Bo is constantly covered in honey from his beekeeping. Bo tends to his beloved bees and wishes he was one himself, as bees are so much simpler to understand than sapient beasts.
Mara: Bo is clearly a loner and socially awkward. The detail The Grey Coincidence went into learn beekeeping trade tricks without a smoker or beesuit is quite impressive.

Score: 9/10

[The Grey Coincidence]

I love this! Thank you so much for doing these ,<3!!! Genuinely laughed out loud at your Top 30 line. More chapters should be coming your way as we speak!

Glad you liked the Bo chapter- can't wait to hear your thoughts on it :)

[Mara the Wolf]

Masika: To anybeast who reads this, we're so sorry about the wait. Saturday our author had a temporary power outage, and on Sunday you guys slammed our author with FOUR chapters, plus the announcement of the newest Survivor Contest!
Mara: Our author was waiting for Vinny to answer her PM. *Glares at the purple otter in question*
Masika: But, now he's answered, so onto the reviews! Hopefully this Collab will be over before Survivor begins, or these reviews may start being sporadic...

Chapter 1: Cold Bopen: The Bopening

[Audience booes the opening pun]
Masika: So, we're starting off with a punny title. At least we know who's the focus of this chapter. Anyway. It's the Winter of the Frigid Stones. Bo, Peri, and a new badger, Susan, are taking the Dibbuns out foraging. And already, I have a complaint. I thought it was Cobb who created Susan, but turns out, it's Grey! Doesn't Elsine's character app imply she's the Badgermum?

She was tempted to grumble about having one too many feasts at the great abbey in the fourteen seasons she had been here, but it would be unseemly for a meline Redwaller to grumble, Badgermum or otherwise.

Seriously, pay attention to little details. But also, something we forgot to mention in the Tribute Reviews themselves: Bo reminds us of Honeyfur, from one of the Mini-Contests. Might the two be related somehow? Father and son? Uncle and nephew? Great-gandfather and great-grandson? Well, anyway, back to the review. While Grey provides good comedy, the chapter is mostly serious, quite unusual for Grey.
Mara: After reading his Kew-Kew story, what with Plomplemoof going on far too long, the author was starting to think Grey couldn't do serious. But, Grey's about to lose points on bees. Numero uno (that's Spanish for number 1, just in case you didn't know):

On the contrary, being a beekeeper was a demanding job and he prided himself on always being ahead of schedule, but even bees knew that winter was good for nothing but hibernation.

A quick Google search says this:

Bees are active all winter long, unlike some insects that lay eggs in the fall then die in the winter only to be succeeded by their young. They also don't hibernate. The bee is cold blooded, so the hive must maintain a warm temperature to keep the colony alive.

Grey, actually do some research! Now that said, despite not being anywhere in her character app that Peri's a motormouth, a talkative Peri feels very much in her character! Are the authors bouncing off ideas off each other? Well, the Dibbuns have used Bo's Sticky fur to get their ride, and Peri starts giving her lesson on edible plants and even reveals a secret ingredient to the moles' pot pie! ...what? That's basically what it is. Deeper'n'Ever Turnip'n'Tater'n'Beetroot Pie was a traditionally very large baked dish consisting of turnips, potatoes, beets, and beans—pot pies are a deep dish pie filled with meat and veggies. Essentially, the moles have vegetarian pot pie. Anyway, Bo thinks bees are so superior to beasts, especially Dibbuns (who our author shares his feelings about wanting to punt them into the sun, at least concerning some of her younger cousins. One threw sticks at her and his sister until his grandma caught him a couple years ago), but Bo proves he can be just as clueless as any other beast by trying to peel some elderflower bark! *Laughs*
Masika: Well, Bo resigns himself to keeping watch, when he sees a toad watching Acer. Bo comes right up behind the toad and surprises it with a hilarious line (especially if you imagine it in a deadpan tone):

"Ribbit, frog."

Mara: After Bo tells him they're out foraging, the toad starts complaining about how Redwallers have all the good food and much more cushy lives compared to poor, innocent toadies just trying to get by. He makes the mistake of putting his webbed...hands? ...paws? ...feet? ...whatever, to Bo's Sticky fur. And Bo easily trounces the toad with this little gem:

Bo shook his head. "Hang on," and belly gonged the nearest tree. As imaginary flies circled the toad's head, the badger peeled him off using the tips of his claws. "Hope I didn't hurt you." Bo smiled.

Masika: Like I said, Grey definitely brings the humor to this chapter! Bo warns the toad off, and ev'rybeast heads back. But, oh no! Acer's missing!
Mara: This chapter was funny, and shows Grey can be serious, while still keeping humor, as said before. And it kickstarts our story off wonderfully. And everybeast feels in character. Just wonderful, Grey!

Favorite Line: "Ribbit, frog."

Score: 8/10

[The Grey Coincidence]

Thanks for the reviiiiew! No problems about the wait. I was looking forwards to this, yes, but the best things are recieved with patience. Faaair warning because the next contest is looming on the horizon- expect to be slammed by even more updates soon XD Because we kiiiind of have a deadline we wanna hit and we want to get this story out before the contest proper begins.

"Why are you booing, I'm right!" Ooooriginay it was going to be either one or the other (Cold Bopen or The Bopening) but had to combine them to form proooobably the most atrocious pub of my career. I am proud of it :3

Small thingg- Elsine was written by Way* not Cobb (Cobb is writing the mole, heaven help her) and was written as the Recorder. The Badgermum line was not intended as an inference to what Elsine's role was but as more of a statement in regards to Badgermum. Roughly translated into Greyspeak the line reads as 'But it would be unseemly for a badger to grumble, even if they are in charge of hordes of children'.

*Slams fist on table* Plomplemoof did not go on for too long! Just you wait! You will see what I was building up to! You'll see!

*Ahem*

I don't reeeeeeally think what I wrote here was serious per say. But I will say that this Collab has been very good at putting a stopper to my number one bad writing habit. Which is essentially a tendency to write whatever I want and meander through things that ya know aren't reeeeeeally necessary. Like, yes, some parts of Plomplemoof. Here because it's a Collab and I am working with others I have a set plot point/chapter/post that I need to write and can't reeeeeeally stray from it. Which is good. Keeps me in line.

Aaah the bee facts. To be fair I always thought my Bess hibernated. I believe that mistake was due mostly due to complacency. My family keep Bees, we have bees. I sometimes wear the suit. I know everything about bees why do I have to research bees? But eh, learn something new everyday. To be faaaair in the context of Bo's sentence I think hibernation is less of a mouthful than huddling together to stay warm. And also lol, can't really imagine Bo wants to cuddle all winter long.

Yes, 'Ribbit, frog' is said in the most deadpanned deadpan known to badgerkind. This earns the Seal Of Approval.

I thiiink that's all I have to say. Thanks once again for the review, look forward to reading the rest of them- these genuinely make my day better :3

[Mara the Wolf]

Mara: Welp, we better get reviewing if we want these all done before the upcoming Survivor Contest. Let's get to it!

Chapter 2: If You Can't Stand the Heat...

Mara: So, first thing noticed right off: the chapter was posted by Cobb, but written by a "Jared Sandeye". Who is this? One'a Cobb's kids? Oh well. This one has a few inconsistencies that kinda prove they're new to Redwall. I'm not saying stick exactly to canon, but you'll see what I mean real soon. So, Timothy's assistant chefs, Arthur and an ottermaid named Ruby, are "work[ing] on food to serve for the discussions on the new waterway." What new waterway? What am I missing? Arthur remarks on the absurdity that pine bark is edible, and says:

"I mean, I've heard of elderflower champagne and coconut cucumber salad, but pine bark? That's a thing?"

Mara: Okay, how has he heard of coconut cucumber salad? Coconuts are grown in tropical regions, and while there is a tropical island in the Redwall-verse called Sampetra, it's nowhere near Redwall, which is in a wooded area, with the nearest shores being anywhere from a day's walk to a weeks away (Distances between places, and the locations of places are not very consistent between books. A particularly egregious example of this can be seen when in Salamandastron it takes days or weeks to traverse the distance between Redwall and Salamandastron (which is on the coast), whereas in Pearls of Lutra the Abbeyfolk are able to make it in a night of forced marching - but then in the book immediately following it, a big source of tension revolves around whether or not the Long Patrol will arrive in time to assist the Abbeyfolk against a siege despite knowing about it weeks in advance.) And I don't even really wanna go looking up cucumbers, but I think it's safe to say they wouldn't grow anywhere near Mossflower, Southsward, etc. Anyway, Arthur is making clam and cod chowder, and here is another inconsistenty: Like I just said, Redwall's in the middle of an island nowhere near an ocean, and set in a medieval/Renaissance-esque time period. That means there'd be no way to transport seafood without it going bad, as they don't have refrigerated trucks or anything, and meat spoils quickly. And you can't say they grew it in their pond, the pond's freshwater. Most saltwater animals cannot survive in freshwater and vice versa. Look, I get Jared's most likely a kid, and Mom ain't gonna get pedantic on this, but come on. And immediately, inconsistency number 3: Ruby's making grilled cheese with fried eggs. Now, maybe vermin would eat eggs, but woodlanders don't eat meat of any kind outside of freshwater fish, fingerlings (baby eels), and freshwater shrimp. And fer good reason: birds are sapient in the Redwall-verse, eating their eggs would be like eating a baby (or, more accurately, a fetus). Honestly... *facepalms and shakes head* Masika, take over, I beg you.
Masika: Jared, Cobb, please don't take the criticisms the wrong way. We understand yore most likely a kid, but our author is just like this. Anyway, as the trio continue to serve more food they shouldn't have anyway of growing or transporting, *cough cough*lemons!*cough cough* Timothy heads out to the Abbey Grounds and remarks to "Saint" Martin—funny, Redwall doesn't have religion, as BJ wanted people of all faiths to enjoy it, and Martin may have been a founder of Redwall and its first Warrior and is regarded highly, but he's not a saint—that he deserves a break, when Susan comes hobbling up and reveals Acer, Timothy's godson, is missing. Not gonna bring up they don't have religion, and thus, can't have godparents—
Mara: *Face on table* Ya jus' did.
Masika: Timothy starts blaming himself, like any good worried guardian, for prioritizing the feast over watching the Dibbuns, but after some reassuring words from Susan, decides to sound the bells fer an emergency meeting.
Mara: The chapter's good, but so many small things don't line up with the Redwall-verse.

Favorite Line: "I promise I'll try not to burn any more mushrooms," Arthur laughed sheepishly, beginning to cut a bunch of lemons into small wedges. "Or anything else, for that matter."

Score: 6/10

[Airan]

Hey there, Masika, figured I'd pop in briefly to reply to some of your comments. First thing's first, we all really appreciate the time you're taking to read our little experiment and to comment on the chapters that we're putting out. These things are complicated endeavors with a lot of planning behind the scenes and lots of moving parts to keep track of, so having someone giving feedback is always appreciated.

Are the authors bouncing off ideas off each other?

Yes. So every chapter that you're reading is usually being written concurrently for the most part. This basically means before writing starts, everyone who is participating has written an outline saying what they're going to do, which part of the plot they'll cover, where they're going to end, as well as whatever other necessary information people might need to know. This lets us set up a timeline, plan for future events, write characters consistently, etc etc. We also take the time to try and read over each others' chapters, correct continuity errors, grammar where possible, as well as character dialogue and actions to make them consistent. The same is true for how a Survivor Contest is run. It's a complicated endeavor and can be pretty messy and overwhelming at times, but the end results can be pretty worth it. Mossflower Odyssey 3 is such a tantamount example of that. Here, we're not necessarily trying to create the best story in the world, but we do want to make /A/ story, and really try to teach a lot of new writers how to write in a collaborative environment and get the gears turning so they can learn and improve.

With that out of the way I do have a few criticisms of your- well- criticisms, mostly in regards to Timothy/Jared's post.

Mara: So, first thing noticed right off: the chapter was posted by Cobb, but written by a "Jared Sandeye". Who is this? One'a Cobb's kids?

Look, I get Jared's most likely a kid, and Mom ain't gonna get pedantic on this, but come on.

Jared, Cobb, please don't take the criticisms the wrong way. We understand yore most likely a kid, but our author is just like this.

Alright, final words there are bolded for a reason. Don't be like this. A lot of what you've written here COULD be seen as valid criticism with a better framing and focus, but a lot of that is muddied by lines like these which come across as rude or condescending to the writer- which is to your assumption a kid. So, I want you to ask yourself. If the shoes were swapped, and you were a kid writing something like this- and you received feedback that said-

Honestly... *facepalms and shakes head* Masika, take over, I beg you.

Would you feel encouraged to continue writing?

So, here's the thing. Like I mentioned earlier above, this Bootcamp is less of a project in creating a perfectly crafted story, and more in working together to practice our collaboration. It is specifically a window for newcomers who are interested in Survivor to see and participate in the basic process of how this all works, the amount of time and dedication it requires, and the challenges you have to overcome. Thus, the 'hows,' particular details, and how close to canon Redwall everything is doesn't completely matter in the grand scheme of what we're going for. What matters is that Jared wrote a Friar who cooks food, is related to the Dibbun who is missing, developed the 'waterway talks' (which will come into play in the next two following chapters), and moved the plot forward by heading to the belltower to sound the alarm. The content is there, and Jared did everything he needed to do to be successful as part of the collab.

Now, here's the thing- none of us are objecting to you critiquing our writing and storytelling, but like I mentioned a lot of the problems come from the way you're framing it here. By harping on these details, it comes across more as nitpicking rather than true criticism, especially when a lot of them I could argue against fairly easily. For instance, Jacques definitely intended for his books to have a Christian framework- there are explicit mentions to the Devil, a canonical church, and the existence of 'Saints' is definitely a concept Redwallers have with St. Ninians. And 'Godson/Godfather' has evolved over the years into not bearing a complete religious connotation. I won't go any further, you get the point.

Instead it makes a lot more sense to explain how this makes you feel as a reader. For instance, if it doesn't 'feel' like Redwall to you, what does that entail, what does that do you when you read the story? For instance, did it pull you out? Did it literally make you stop reading for a moment and go- 'cucumber salad, wut?' Because if it did, from a writers' perspective, that's not good. We don't want that. We want you to be sucked in. And this is ultimately what I mean by framing.

Okay, how has he heard of coconut cucumber salad? Coconuts are grown in tropical regions, and while there is a tropical island in the Redwall-verse called Sampetra, it's nowhere near Redwall, which is in a wooded area, with the nearest shores being anywhere from a day's walk to a weeks away (Distances between places, and the locations of places are not very consistent between books. A particularly egregious example of this can be seen when in Salamandastron it takes days or weeks to traverse the distance between Redwall and Salamandastron (which is on the coast), whereas in Pearls of Lutra the Abbeyfolk are able to make it in a night of forced marching

vs.

The different food your characters talked about, like cucumber salad, seemed an odd fit for Redwall, and it made me stop to question the logistics of such a dish within Mossflower. I don't think I've ever heard of cucumbers within the books. It feels an odd fit and I think you could have chosen something more befitting.

One comes across as rude nitpicking, and the other comes across as a criticism with a suggestion for improvement. If I was a kid, I would definitely prefer that latter- because while it's critical of my work- it's also not inherently discouraging.

So, first thing noticed right off: the chapter was posted by Cobb, but written by a "Jared Sandeye". Who is this? One'a Cobb's kids?

Anyways, just as the last thing, I wanted to go ahead and clarify this and say that Jared's not actually Cobb's kid. What happened here was Jared had trouble accessing the forums at the time and Cobb simply offered to put up his post for him, as I was away at the time.

Anyways, thanks for listening. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.

[multiplemint]

I'm gonna chime in with my 2 cents specifically targeting the "but these foods aren't native to Britain" criticism -- because we did discuss that behind the scenes a little, but ultimately decided not to worry about it.

(Also some fun facts for anyone who plans to do in-depth cooking/horticulture in one of these contests)

Here's a list of plants mentioned in Redwall cooking that are not native to Britain, and have only been brought over by humans or shipped via trade:
Corn, Apples, Tomatoes, Potatoes, nutmeg, cinnamon, rosemary, Lentils, peas, radishes, mustards (and turnips, all brassica rapa variants), arrowroot, sugar, rhubarb, vanilla, maple syrup, cucumbers (not native, and mentioned in the books), basically all grains, really, which were brought from the continent by neolithic humans, grapes, pepper (specifically mentioned: peppercorns), bay leaves, dill, and carrots. (Also a character named Edelweiss -- a flower from the Alps, not Britain -- not cooking, but another inconsistent transplant to the series.)

And, the preservation methods available to them weren't just "oh no, it's gonna rot soon", there was also: confit (cooking in fat and salt), salting, drying, pickling (lotta pickling in Britain), smoking, and possibly even lye via ash (think lutefisk)

One last personal beef with Jacques himself when it comes to Redwall food: As for eggs, I still don't buy that the Abbey uses none. You can't make custards and flans without eggs unless you're using cornstarch, arrowroot, agar, or tapioca powder as a stiffener (hey look, all those are non-native), or maybe aquafaba, but that needs chickpeas -- also non-native. Any bird can produce unfertilized eggs like chickens do, so it's not immediately "baby murder". For all we know there's a flock of fowl out back exchanging easy access to grains for the eggs they'd be poppin' out anyway.

If you want to stick to your guns on eggs, fine. "Woodlander magic makes the vegan flan fluffy" is more handwavey than I like, but I'll accept it. But "How did he get lemons and coconuts!?" falls apart when they're actually closer, geographically, to Britain than nutmeg by a loooooong way. Let's be honest, Jacques went with "oh, this is what is used in traditional British cooking, with a dash of native plants, so it works" and forgot that 'traditional British cooking' owes a ton to its colonies from all over.

(Also, if anyone's curious about what all foods have been mentioned in the series, I used an extremely handy list here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416280/chapters/16843834)

[Mara the Wolf]

Mara: Well, whether ya still want us reviewing after last time or not, we're back. The next chapter is:

Chapter 3: A Surfeit of Choler

Mara: Masika, what's 'surfeit' and 'choler'?
Masika: *Googles* Surfeit: an excessive amount of something. Choler: (in medieval science and medicine) one of the four bodily humors, identified with bile and believed to be associated with a peevish or irascible temperament.
Mara: ...once again, Google is no help, at least in regards to 'bodily humors'. Anyway, Elsine is to record the dispute over the Mossflower waterways between Skipper Ash an' Log-a-Log Rubtus. Question: whatever happened to the otters living at Redwall? Didn't they still have their own Skipper in High Rhulain? I swear Tiria Wildlough an' her father were from Redwall Abbey. Well, anyways, it's apparently Day 16 of the Winter of the Frigid Stones, an' more importantly, Ash is accusing Rubtus of damming up the River Moss an' changin' their way of life, but Rubtus argues that they needed to change the river's flow t' get more shrimp. Masika, you're an otter, do y' know anything about changin' river flows?
Masika: Not really. In order t' do so, y' need to dam up tributaries, I think, but beyond that, I have no idea. Well, anyway, they bicker like children, and Elsine records with plenty of snark. However, she writes down she wonders why they're seeking out Redwall's counsel. Um, b'cause Redwall has more-or-less always been the stewards of Mossflower? They usually get involved in things that don't honestly concern them beyond being decent beasts. Gentian stops their arguing and asks if Rubtus could compensate Ash for diverting the River Moss, an' Rubtus offers t' provide the otters with any shrimp that they don't need, but Ash counters shrews have large numbers an' appetites, an' would leave practically nothing fer the otters, which starts their bickering again. Rubtus accusing the otters of never helping, even the distant past, while the Gousim have always helped. Elsine says he wrong that Gousim never fought at Kotir. Our author has the book Mossflower, so let's see:
Log-a-Log Big Club was there at some point, and they picked a hundred shrews, who were Log-a-Log's tribe, onto the Wuddship, so Elsie, you're wrong (Rubtus is too in saying otters didn't help at Kotir, but b'sides the point). Gentian pulls Elsine aside for a rather harsh scolding for potentially jeopardising the talks an' causing open conflict between shrews an' otters, when they hear the emergency bells.
Mara: Sad t' say, this chapter was a bit dull, an' I really wanna smack ev'rybeast ('cept Ash).
Masika: Same, Mara.

Favorite Line: This Rubtus is a barbarous beast, short of stature and lacking in manners. His squinting glare bled hostility and condescension. Why he would seek the Abbey's conciliation in this dispute is a mystery as great as how he managed to become Log-a-log in the first place.

Score: 5/10
Mara: It gets the job done, an' it ain't boring, but... *shrugs*

[The Grey Coincidence]

Mara: Well, whether ya still want us reviewing after last time or not, we're back. The next chapter is:

Well I for one still want you reviewing :3 I genuinely enjoy reading through all of these far more than I should. Always god to see/hear about things from another perspective.

[Mara the Wolf]

Mara: Time fer another review.

Chapter 4: ... To Acquire Wisdom, One Must Observe.

Mara: Well, the moles are clearing paths in the snow before they hear the emergency bells. Mrs. Flowers runs in through the kitchens and into Cavern Hole, where almost all the main cast already is, some worried, some annoyed.
Masika: The otters apparently aren't happy to be pulled away from their water accords, and Gentian clearly wants this meeting over with already. Question: why are Jaskia an' Nibs part of this meeting? I mean, yes b'cause they're main characters, but what's the in-universe reason? Bo and Peri (as well as Susan and Timothy) are there because they lost Acer, Ash and Rubtus, b'cause they're important Mossflower leaders and typically allies of Redwall, and it makes sense for Mrs. Flowers, Elsine, and Susan to be there; the Recorder, Badgermum, and Foremole are more-or-less canonically practically the Abbey's leaders, the right-paw beasts to the Abbot/Abbess. The gardener and the cellarhog, though? They don't have any such position. Well, anyway, once e'vrybeast's gathered an' Ash an' Rubtus are introduced, Gentian asks Timothy why he sounded the emergency bells. Timothy is a bit too panicked to get it out, but Peri an' Susan manage to tell her they lost Acer. The reception to this news is...discouraging, an' rather out-of-character fer canon roles.

"We have to find him-"
"How do ye lose a dibbun-"
"Why does this concern us-"
"What if he's hurt-"
"I left my garden for this-"

Mara: Hasn't  it always been the beasts of Mossflower would willingly drop e'vrythin' to find a missin' Dibbun? Well, anyway, we also learn Mrs. Flowers' first name is Celandine, Nibs has been her best friend since Dibbun-hood, he's always stuck up fer when she was bullied fer her name (why tho?), and apparently, Mrs. Flowers is lesbian. Cute. Less cute is that Celandine's more thinking about her mate an' how Timothy always made plum pie fer their anniversary rather than thinkin' abou' lookin' fer Acer.
Masika: She's about to ask Timothy if he'll make some, when she notices how torn-up her friend is about losin' his godson. Celandine an' Nibs assure Timothy they'll find him, an' Mrs. Flowers reminisces of a time when Acer let a bee into a kitchen.
Mara: I guess this chapter is heartfelt, but honestly you kinda wanna get t' the chapters afterwards, really.

Favorite Line: "Oo arr! Remember th' time 'ee bringed a bumblybee into yore kitchen an' set et loose? Arthur an' th' others be jumpin' about an' flappin' they'm arms loike birds."

Score: 5/10