Aged Like A Fine Wine

[The Grey Coincidence]

I don't think it would be very succint of me to just start talking about this on Discord and it's easier to type in these old fashioned forums without getting interrupted and stuff. So! I am starting another review thread. Will still review MO4 of course but just read all of this yesterday and I think it's best if I dive into it right away while it's still fresh in my mind.

Idk if it's fair to put a Spoiler warning on a fic that's ten years old? But I'm gonna put one up anyways because this fic is kind of awesome and is best appreciated with minimal foreknowledge.

Onto my precious thoughts:

This contest has a veeeeery interesting premise! Definitely the most interesting of the concepts I've read. Everyone dies in the first round- which totally made me go 'Wait, what?' And then they're brought back to life by Vulpuz because the One That Should Have Died is still alive! Oh boy what a premise, and it's great because of course I had a dozen theories on who The One was. More on that later.

I think the First Round of any contest is always going to be one of the most fun. It has the most characters and set up and there's a general scramble and mayhem and everyone trying to establish their characters and avoid being the first one voted out. This Round did not disappoint. There's so many moving pieces- and the best part is I had no idea that Vulpuz was even a thing! So with every death I ended up going ,'He's not reeeeeeally dead'- easy enough with Toby who cut his paw on a glass (doesn't exactly spell out instant death) but then Luka's repeatedly getting impaled you know? And somehow that is harder to write away as 'okay he's not reeeeally dead'.

So everyone dies and then they're brought back to life a week prior and they have the perfectly normal response to being dead and told by the Lord Of Hell that they have to do a murder or else Redwall will never come to pass. At least, for their characters.

On that note I think I should talk about the characters. Didn't find a Top 30 here, I can only assume it was Lost To Time- ooor there was a different format or somesuch along those lines. But that's fine because I don't need an app to judge the writing in a chapter. In no particular order:

Toby: Architect competing with Alan for the heart of another mink (in the most bearable love triangle ever?) that also really kind of wants to leave Kotir and also has daddy issues.

Luka: He reminds me of Elliot/Red Guardian kiiiind of? Out of shape, out of prime, still thinks he's got it. But, he doesn't. Not quite. He's not here for long but I do like what we did see of him. He had an interesting dynamic with Rallentando (Best... Name... Ever? It's up there for sure. Can compete with the Sassafras) and I loved the bit where he apologizes for hitting her. I think it was kind of touching.

Chokk: Vengeance-Fuelled Beaver! That is secretly organising a slave rebellion to avenge his family. I really like his name- definitely screams BEAVER. I just wish he got some form of vengeance ya know? A 'Get Over Here!' moment. Well... He kind of did but more on that later.

Alan Blacktip: The Scene-Stealer. He and Radish are such a good double act. They remind me of Chak/Nimbleton in a good way (and more on that later because that was a key component to one of my theories) and also a kind of perverted version of Batman and Alfred.

Clutus: It's funny, you'd think it hard to love a narcissistic person but nope! He's so arrogant, thinks himself so superior and is just so absolutely and utterly over the top in his selfishness. Almost my favourite.

Rexim: I love his acceent. Rival architect, proud of a secret tunnel that is in no way shape or form pivotal to the plot- nooo, why would you think that?

Rousseau: Painting Pirate that does paintings. Also never wanted to be a Captain. Also also thinks her crew hate her. In her defense, some of them do. Definitely has some of the most meat to chew on plot-wise and a lot of my favourite lines.

Rallentando: GREAT NAME! Rolls off the tongue and sounds so utterly, perfectly Redwallish. She's a spy. She takes notes. She is also young and green. She's fun.

So they all come back from the dead and the Cast is unified in Finding The One!

Clutus wants his Commissions and he wants them now but Roussea was too busy painting Vulpuz on the canvas to finish that job.  They talk about this really strange dream they had but Roussea was too busy doodling to pay attention to the LORD OF HELLGATES. Vulpuz is a jerk for setting her sketchbook on fire though. Like damn. Real rude of you man. 

Meanwhile Toby convinces Rexim that the feast was yesterday and they died. Rexim doesn't want to believe the son of his arch-rival but! Here we are. They go to meet Alan, who has the best line in story so far.

"Radish, I need you to tell me I'm not dead!"

He trips over his pants, doesn't believe anything, *really* needs a drink or two and then goes out to find out that a guy he killed a week ago is still alive still alive and naturally this comes as a bit of a shock to him but you know, it definitely also proves for sure that he died and he dreamed of Hellgates and then went back in time.

So! He gets Radish to fetch Rallentando and Chokk and Luka and the team is assembled. They need to find someone, Kill Them and make sure that one day in the far future Kotir falls and Redwall rises.

Half the cast head down Rexim's Secret Tunnel, Secret Tunnel and get attacked by Water Rats. Unfortunately before there can be any interrogation Roussea kills the assailant and then Clutus eats them. So errr- not the greatest detectives- but hey! They killed someone, maybe they already killed The One? Who knows.

On their way out of the tunnels though they're ambushed and Luka feels like it's his time and stays behind to allow Rousseau, Clutus and company time to escape. Which they do.  Buuut the head chef has been killed.

Luka kind of got a raw deal btw, really felt like that had to be said. He died twice in one round and twice in the space of two days. Like... Ouch. Add to the fact that he was already limping and weak and didn't have all that much to live for (I mean... His beloved slaves were going to murder him anyways so :() But at least he managed to go out in a blaze of glory so I gueeeess that's what he would have wanted? Not sure though, maybe he would have preferred cooking. But then you never know, maybe Vulpuz made sure he died and this was just the Lord Of Hellgates's really contrived way of getting a new Rice Cooker.

Of course Luka dying leads to some fun guilt-tripping for Roussea who well, I don't think she's responsible or anything but she also isn't exactly innocent :P

Luckily the wolves running the castle are merciful and don't tear her to shreds for getting their cook killed. She just has to provide a replacement from her crew. No Biggie.

But we have our first suspect! The water rats! Big progress is already being made, which is great, but I always feel like the first suspect is the most obvious one ya know? I kept think the Gloomers are just a red-herring and the real One That Needs To Die was someone else. More on that later.

Our heroes leave the castle on an expedition to find the water rats and see what's up with them. They run into the playhouse of this bratty, snotty-nosed kid who alerts the rest of the tribe that Fiends and Demons are upon them and the cast is surrounded.

Alan negotiates for negotiation and he and Toby go to speak with the Chief about all the killings and murders happening in Kotir. Buuuuut before anything productive can happen Rousseau kills one of the Gloomers coz she needed more red paint. Well, it was an accident, but really it would be a shame if she didn't use all that red on something.

There's a fight. There's a chase and the party is divided. Rallentando isn't a very fast bunny, or she's too compassionate and keeps turning around to see if the others are okay only to run into Morleo. You can't convince me this didn't happen. Clutus is a flightless bird which means his running is kind of... Not good and Rexim is proooobably Alchoholic so the three of them don't make it very far before they're captured by the water rats.

The rest though manage to escape and head over to Chokk's old dam to hide and recuperate.

Minor spoiler for later, but I'm kiiiiiind of surprised Chokk got voted off this round. He had some... Juicy stuff going on. As they're making their getaway, Chokk has a flashback to the time he murdered an old friend of his called Thistlepine (I think) who sold his family out to the slavers of Kotir. Which, yes, hedgehog deserved it but also hedgehog only did it because Alan promised Hedgehog's family would be safe. So it's kind of Alan's fault. And I would be lying if the flashback to Chokk doing the killing wasn't a little bit DARK.

Anyways, Alan and Chokk realize they have History, have a fight and then they come up with a foolproof plan to get everyone out and rescue them and go back to that mission Vulpuz gave them. It's a simple plan but quite a good one. Make fire diversion, rescue others.

While all that is going on Clutus is getting hungry, has a bit of an argument with Rexim, kind of wants to get a taste of rabbit and also bargains with Jailer Rat to see the Chief.

Jailer Rat is pretty fun btw. A jerk, yes, but Cefin is a Gloomer. Kept feeding them Kew-Kew's pancakes. Which of course are inedible for all and even less so for owls who need meat. No wonder Rallentando was starting to look like a nice piece of steak.

On the morning of the escape, Chokk goes to camp, kills a Jailer Rat (but not *the* Jailer Rat) and then is murdered in front of those he wanted to rescue because he didn't bother with an escape plan. Which yes, was not very smart on his part, but I can kiiiind of see why he did it. It was a rash decision. He wanted to rescue Rallentando. He needed to rescue Rallentando and make himself feel better and make up for all his losses. But.. he failed and Clutus and company are still set to be sacrificed. Ouch.

Okay, so, I feel like I ought to talk about what my original theory for who The One would be now. It was pretty good and backed by solid evidence. It was going to beeee Radish! Bearing in mind I have no apps to read from, I couldn't help but feel that Radish was everywhere. Rousseau has a literal boatful of NPCs, Willump is there and great, but Radish is in almost every post of the first round. That's fishy. Add to that that he reminds me of Nimbleton who's whole thing was pretending to be a loyal Toadie while secretly plotting behind his master's back and I thought I had a surefire thing! Chokk's first death post (the one in Round One) ends with him thinking he's been betrayed- who is most likely to betray a slave revolt than a member of the slaves? And then blowing up Kotir? It makes sense doesn't it? He's a loyal Toadie slave so the other slaves don't like him. And he hates his master's too. Who look down on him. So. Long story short, Radish decided everyone hated him and decided to flood Kotir and bring it all down on their heads. And he did this during the feast when he said 'Alan needs me'- a fitting alibi! Radish had everything planned! #ItWasRadish!

Well, actually in the end it wasn't Radish but more on that later.

So Round Three starts with Toby, Alan and Rouseau now sans beaver trying to rescue the rest of Vulpuz' chosen ones from an untimely demise. They follow the original plan and to absolutely noone's surprise it works. Cefin/The Jailer Rat is knocked out but manages to get out a good line first.

"Sorry about this but, FIEEEENDS!" I kind of really like Cefin which is weird because there isn't much to him beyond smiling a lot and making fun of heathens.

But anyways, our heroes escape but Rallentando doesn't want to leave Chokk behind so Rousseau goes to get him- and by pure luck she manages to find the brat that first alerted the Gloomers to their presence.

So she does the only logical thing and kidnaps him. They all make it back to Kotir and we get a couple of really fun chapters of... Babysitting. Definitely not what I expected but also a lot of fun to read.

Rallentando is way better with kids than the other cast members though, that had to be said, had to be said. Alan feeds him alchohol while interogating him about his father and Clutus makes a lot of unsubtle hints about wanting to eat Midrios.

"Noone will ever find you"

"Is it your belly?"

Well, this Gloomer sure is Genre-Savvy. Somehow the above interaction leads to Midrios crawling under his tail feathers and biting his rump. Honestly Clutus and his chapters are hilarious, definitely gives even Alan's best lines a run for their money.

Caractacus who I will now refer to as Cactus