A Night on the Town, Part II (Or: Meet the Mapledoughs)

[Timbones Oldburrow]

Tim ran through the streets of the City of Links, footpaws pounding against the hard compact sand. He had all but forgotten about the guild show, his only objective was to put as much distance between himself and the old lady Dowager as possible. As a squibby, Olna had warned him about talking to strangers, but he had always pictured those "strangers" as fearsome and intimidating beasts (rather like Gila monsters), not old ladies.

And then there was that garbage stealing critter, Tim thought as he finally slowed down and got his bearings. I'm gonna be much more careful who I talk to from now on. Even though I never really chose to talk to any of 'em in the first place... Now I just gotta figure out where I am.

He stopped in the middle of a plaza and took in his surroundings. The sun had finally set, and the streets were illuminated by the light of a thousand glass-jar lanterns strung along the tops of tents and across streets, as well as sconced torches and the occasional candelabra. Tim wasn't sure which way to turn - he was in the middle of a ring of stalls and branching paths, the centerpiece of which was a semi-translucent green statue, glittering in the lantern light. It was a triumphant jackalope: tall and regal, antlers and all. In one paw, the creature held a broken chain, and in the other he brandished a standard featuring the severed head of a Gila. The statue's base was of red sandstone, and in it were carved the figures of all manner of rodentia: mice, squirrels, shrews,, and rabbits, each one lifting paws in thanks to the green statue or kneeling in respect to him.

Tim starred in an awestruck daze at the memorial, taking in it's beauty and intricacy. What did it all mean?

He didn't have to wait long for an answer, as a beast in a nearby stall had noted the young one's dazzledness.

"First time you've seen a Kangoment eh? It sure is somethin', but I tell ya, you won't catch me bowin' ta some antlered rabbit, no sir!"

Tim turned to face the speaker, who was a short and rotund gray squirrel with tufted ears. Tim had seen a few tree squirrels in his time, but they weren't common visitors to his ranch in the arid canyonlands. They were more athletic and generally larger than ground squirrels, and a much younger Timboens always found their expressive bushy tails intimidating. These were only squibbyhood fears of course; Tim was now more curious than fearful of those that were so alike yet so different.

"I s'pose we all owe him a might amount o' respect for wot 'ee did fer us, I'll give 'em that," the tree squirrel continued as he removed a loaf of bread from a clay oven. Tim noted the big red letters that adorned a banner over the green velvet tent:

Melvin Mapledough & Fam.

The squirrel placed the loaf on a long wooden countertop that spanned the length of the tent. Underneath the counter were shelves containing an expansive assortment of pastries, pies, bread loves, cakes, and other treats. A glass wall faced outward so that customers could see the treats but not reach them. An innovative piece of furniture, Tim thought, albeit likely expensive and fragile.

"Bein' the impetus fer all those slave revolts an' all that, I mean." The grizzled squirrel chattered on, slicing a cooled loaf bread with a serrated knife.  "But that don't mean we all need ta bow down an worship like 'ee some sorta king. Not that 'ee's eva asked anybody ta do that especifically, but it seems ta be wot the statues imply don't it?"

Tim looked back and forth between the baker and the glistening green monument.

"So it is Kango then? He looks quite heroic."

The old squirrel huffed. "Beasts kin make a monooment look however they please. As fer the real Kango... well, I ain't seen 'em but once when we wuz all breakin' camp. Here-" he tore off a piece of loaf heel and extended it to Tim. "Tell me whatcha think!"

Tim hesitated - he was already breaking the "don't talk to strangers rule" that he had just set for himself, and now was taking the violation to the next level by accepting food from one. But... it did smell delicious.

"What?" the baker asked, looking slightly hurt. "Don't tell me yer some 'high end' beast an' my food ain't good enuff fer ya - I kin tell jus' by yer clothin' that ya ain't one a those."

Tim quickly took the bread - he feared offending a good beast more than risking his own health and safety on food that was probably delightful and poison-free. For a moment though the young squirrel wasn't so sure. As he took a bite of the bread, it proved quite strong and herby, and he nearly choked on the dough before regaining his composure.

The baker laughed. "Hahahar my 'pologies, shoulda warned ye. Tis spiced onion bread! Whadda think?"

Tim took a smaller nibble of his piece and chewed compemplativly. "It ain't half-bad, now that I'm expectin' it at least. What kinda spices are in it?"

"Oh well, us Mapledoughs are secretive types... but I can tell ya there's dill and garlic. The rest is family trademark."

"That's understandable. So I take it you're Melvin Mapledough?"

"Sure I am! Well, name used to be Maplebough - ya know, like a tree branch - but all ya gotta do ta make a branch inta bread is smack it upside the head! Harharhahharharh!"

Tim laughed briefly but didn't really understand the humor. His eyes drifted around the plaza, trying to ascertain the way to the Guild's "Great Bizarre." The nightsky's stars were drowned out by the lights of the festival, and even if Tim could have discovered true west, that wouldn't keep him from getting lost within the winding streets of the City of Links.

Melvin had contained his laughter and noted the concern on the young taste-tester's face.

"I say there, what's tha trouble? Yer new to tha Links ain'tcha? Explains why ya hadn't seen a Kangoment afore..."

"Oh," Tim stammered, returning his attention to the portly baker. "Yes I - I came in with the Sandsline refugees just this morning. Feels like I've already been here a month though..."

"Harhar well tha big busy city'll do that to ya - so much goes on in a day here as ya wouldn't believe. Now wot kin I 'elp ya find?"

"Oh, um, the Great Guild Gathering and Bizarre!" Tim fished the flyer out of his money pouch, with much clinking of links as he did so.

"Sounds like ya've got a full load hahar, ready fer a night on the town eh?"

"Oh yes, I um, I suppose so!" Tim nervously retrieved the sheet and fastened the pouch, internally scolding himself for failing the Greysands' directions.

They told you not to flash your chain Tim! By the grain, they told you to stay out of dark alleys too! Why did they even think I could do this properly...

He handed Melvin the flyer, which had a crude map in addition to its instructions. The old squirrel scratched his head. "Mmm Skinned Ones Clan. I don't go over there myself, they ain't the best customers when it comes ta baked goods. But tell ya wot, hows about yew go see Heathrose - she knows her way all around the city!"

"Oh, alright..." Tim replied cautiously. "And who is Heathrose?"

"Why she's me daughter, harharhar!" The baker's belly bobbed like a biscuit bun as he chortled. "Sign says 'Melvin Mapledough and Fam, don't it? Harhar!"

"Oh well yes I see..."

Tim's usual enthusiasm had still not recovered from the Dowager incident - in fact, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to get to the Guild show anymore.

Might as well return to the Greysands and confess my sins... but then again, I'm not even sure how to get back to the lodge.

The young squirrel was left with little choice.

"Alright," he continued. "Where can I find Heathrose?"

Melvin sniffed. "Right here o' course! Just head 'round back. Oh, and bringer these-" he slid a tray of muffins out from behind the counter and passed it to Tim, who was unprepared and nearly fumbled the lot as one side dropped onto his pawstub. "Oop careful! Take one if ya like!" the jolly baker offered.

They were moist and dark brown, and filled the air with an aromatic scent unfamiliar to Tim, who was more concerned with the errand that had just been literally thrust upon him, not to mention the second offer of free food. The young squirrel had gotten used to cooperation and camaraderie along the trail, but Melvin's hospitality was something new.

Can he really afford to just give food away? I guess the Links aren't so starved after all...

"Thank you mister Mapledough - they look wonderful... uh, you said around back?"

"Yes yes, jus' go round left thar, pull the bell rope, don't call out or you'll wake tha squibbies an' then we'd all hear it harhar!"

"Haha, we wouldn't want that!" Tim smiled awkwardly as he made his way around the tent, carefully balancing the tray and pinching the Guild flier between two claws. "Squibbies?" he wondered out loud. "Just how many squirrels does he fit in this tent?"

It seemed that the smaller storefront and back of the bakery were two separate tents, joined in the middle, the back tent being much roomier and taller as well. Timbones made his way around to a side door - or side flap - out of which hung a thin tasseled rope.

"Well this could be a predicament..." he said, realizing that he had no free paw to accomplish the task. He considered setting the muffin tray on the ground, but questioned his ability to do so without spilling it as he only had one paw to grasp. The next option was to simply call out for someone to answer, but according to Melvin such an action could produce dire results. Returning to Melvin and revealing his inability to complete such a menial task would be highly embarrassing, not to mention it would require explanation and a revealing of the pawstub, and who knew how the baker would respond to that. So Tim simply stood in the alley alongside the tent, tapping a footpaw as he hoped for the night to pass him by or for a solution to present itself.

And then the tent flap moved, just a little bit.

"Hello...?" Tim inquired.

No response. It could've been the wind. But then muffled voices could be heard from inside.

"Hello? Could you please open up?" Tim pleaded. His stub was getting sore. "I have muffins!"

The flap parted and a little squirrel face peered out.

"Das Pawpaw muffin!" the face said accusingly.

"Yes yes, I know! Your Papa sent me to bring these to you... er, you're not Heathrose, are you?"

But the face retraced with the reflexes of a rattlesnake, leaving Timbone alone once again.

"That wasn't productive..."

The squibby inside could still be heard: "Ee zay ee got Pawpaw muffin fer uz!"

Finally, the pawstepts of a full-grown beast approached the flap. Tim found himself face-to-face with a petit red squirrel, who shared her father's stature - dumpy and stout - as well as his tufted ears. Her eyes were a soft acorn brown, and she possessed a bright red tail that extended well beyond her head, giving the impression that she was constantly pursued by a blazing tongue of fire. Tim thought that she looked a few seasons older than himself, but not by much.

"Hello? What can I do for you?" She inquired before noticing the muffins and answering her own question. "Oh, Papa will rope anybeast into the catering service, haha! Lucky he didn't send you halfway across the City, like he did on my first run!"

She carefully took the muffin tray. Tim was much relieved to be free of his burden, albeit taken off guard by the pretty face. "Thank you, keep the change! I mean, I'm not a caterer! I'm Canbones from the Timlands. I mean Timbones from the Canyonlands! Your Pa said that you know your way around this place and could give me directions... If you would be so kind?"

"Oh well of course! Come on in, make yourself comfortable!" She held the tent flap open welcomingly. Tim had been expecting a simple "Go down the road, make a left, and you'll see your destination," but he did not want to offend the hospitality of yet another Mapledough, so he accepted the invitation, if not with some reservation. Nevertheless, his mind raced as he entered the dimly lit, windowless tent.

Talking to a stranger, accepting food, going into their home. This is strike three...

The tent was dark, its thick velvet green walls blocking out the light, but it remained welcoming and homey. There were several pieces of simple furniture - a padded recliner chair, a wicker bench with cottonwood-stuffed pillows, a low table of robust cherrywood, and an intricately woven rug displaying a treehouse in the woods. There were blankets and pillows scattered about, as well as numerous straw dolls and wooden building blocks. The soft walls also muffled the clamor from the festival outside, making for an overall serene and quiet ambiance.

Heathrose set the muffins down on the table and hastily shoved a bundle of patchwork quilt to one side of the bench, making room for Tim. "Have a seat. Sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting company."

"Oh, it's no problem." Tim replied, obliging his hostess by plopping down on the squeaky wicker. "I had so many siblings when I was a squibb, I know how it is."

"For sure, children are the spice of life!"

As if on cue, an infant moaned from somewhere in the room.

Heathrose looked up to the ceiling, where the sound had come from. "Oh Lord of the Forest, I just got him to sleep! Pardon me a moment - I'll be back with my writing supplies and I'll draw you a map."

Tim froze in mid reach for a muffin. "A map? You don't have ta do that, I just need some directions to the Beastmaster Guild-"

But Heathrose was adamant. "No, I insist! The City is much too large, and besides, what if you want to go someplace else while you're out? And how do you plan to get home? It's no trouble, I enjoy drawing!"

And with that she scurried over to a thick rope that hung from a hole in the tent ceiling. Tim watched as she ascended - this was a two-story tent! The upper floor was an extension of the tent walls, and Tim could see Heathrose's imprint on the ceiling as she made her way to the child. It was like a huge hammock.

How fitting for tree squirrels! Tim thought. Now for one of those muffins - at least I'm following one piece of Greysand advice if nothing else: I'm getting a fabulous deal on food!

He reached again for the dessert but stopped - there were only three muffins in the tray.

I coulda sworn there was four...

A movement across the room caught his eye - a lumpy blanket on the floor had shifted. Suddenly, it turned and began to crawl in Tim's direction, like an oversized voracious caterpillar. Tim froze, hoping desperately that the Mapledoughs weren't fond of large and potentially dangerous pets that hid under blankets to ambush intruders. He was a Beastmaster, supposedly, but he had never tamed a blanket-beast before.

The fabric worm continued its advancement until colliding with the table. "Oof!" it squeaked. A red-furred paw cautiously extended from the bundle and reached for a muffin. Tim deftly slid the tray to the other end of the table, leaving the paw to grope at thin air. And then, finally, the beast gained a head that popped out inquisitively from it's inner depths.

It was the same head that had greeted Tim at the door. The little squirrel bore a close resemblance to Heathrose in miniature, with fur just as red and whiskers just as long and slender. Furtively surveying her surroundings, she located the muffins and pointed: "Dose Pawpaw muffin!"

"Yes that's right!" Tim chuckled. "And I suppose he sent them for you? But you've already had one; you'd better not stuff yourself, it's not hibernation season you know!"

"Laya gotta peez!"

"What? Then you had better go-" Tim stopped laughing when he realized that there were now only two muffins remaining in the tray.

He looked back to the squibby across from him. She hadn't moved. "How did you...?"

Suddenly, a bushy red tail popped out from under the table at his footpaws.

He continued staring in confusion. "My you are quite flexible... and long?"

The tail disappeared, and a moment later the blanket monster grew a second head, nearly identical to the first. Just as quickly as they had appeared, the pair retracted back into the darkness of their mobile lair and the caterpillar inched its way back across the room and behind the reclining chair, from which much giggling and munching could be heard.

Tim didn't have a chance to ponder the strange case of the quiltworm and the stolen muffins before Heathrose clambered back down the rope, a babe in one arm and a reed-woven box in the other. She used clenched footpaws and as much traction as she could get from her arms, paws, and claws to get down the rope with such a load, and then stumbled over to the table and dropped the box. It made a clattering sound.

"Sorry about that, little fellow just wouldn't settle down. His name is Toothbuck, by the way. I know it's probably odd to bring the babe out in front of a stranger, but you seem like a good beast - I can see it in your eyes. And Papa trusts you, obviously. Now, to the map!"

Laying Toothbuck down beside her in his cradleboard, she reached into the box and retrieved a charcoal stick and a folded piece of paper. Tim peered over to get a better look at the contents: there were a few charcoal sticks, but mostly it was filled with little wax rods, each one dyed a different color, from auburn red to zaffer blue.

"Enjoy the muffins did you?" Heathrose asked as she unfolded the paper.

"Oh, uh, funny story that... one of your blankets crawled up and snitched a pair of them."

"Hahaha I would expect nothing less!" Her laugh, like her father's, came from the gut, but it lacked the elder's gruffness. "You really must try one though - that's one of our more exoitc varieties. I'm honestly surprised Papa sent them back to the likes of us ratty beasts, haha!"

Tim obliged and plopped a piece of the sticky black dough into his mouth. He quickly reached for another and then took a whole bite out of the muffin.

"This is delicious! It's... it's sweet and bitter all at once! What in the name ah' Kwetz is it?"

"It's called chocolate!" she giggled. "It comes from the south. The wet forests, you know, across the great river!"

Tim took another very large bite.

"Mmmph well it's really wonderful, I can imagine it's your Pa's best seller!"

"Oh it would be if he didn't have to charge so high for it - that stuff isn't easy to get your paws on in large enough quantities for baking, I tell you. That's why I'm surprised he sent them back to us instead of selling them at the fest-" she stopped abruptly. "Oh, yes, that would make sense..."

Tim didn't follow. "What would? I suppose he loves you all very much, more than any old customer, so why not share the best with his family?"

Heathrose smiled a little bit. "Yes, that's a good way to put it. You're completely right. Let's get to this map now."

Heathrose laid the paper flat on the table and drew a wide circle in its center. "This, young mister Timbones, is the City of Links."

Tim drew his attention to the paper and nodded unconvincingly. "Alright..."

Heathrose explained, adding to the map as she did so.

"I know you think it doesn't look anything like a bunch of links - and you're right. But that's because we are currently in what's called 'stationary formation.' When the city travels, everything changes - the clan districts break up, in fact, and travel in such a way that the city would resemble a long chain from the air. It also makes travelling between districts quite inconvenient if the place you want to go happens to be on the other side of the chain. But you needn't worry about that. As it's set up now, you can theoretically get to anyplace in an equal amount of time if you start out from the center."

She drew a smaller circle in the middle of the larger one, and in the center of the new circle - at the very heart of the city - a tent which she embellished with purple and yellow stripes.

"Of course, common critters like us - assuming you're common, of course - don't ever go directly to the center, as that's where the Chainbreaker resides. It's a high honor to be called into his court. This is his tent here. And surrounding it-"

She drew several smaller tents within the little circle, filling them in red.

"Is the camp of the Ring, Kango's main fighting force. They have stations all throughout the city, of course, as well as outside it, but this is their main base of operations. We call this area made up of Kango and his elite forces the 'Inner Ring.' Only the military and high-ranking beasts have reason to go there. You and I, on the other paw, stick to the Outer Ring."

She made a circular gesture with her stick to encompass what remained of the large circle. "This is a place where all of the Clans are encouraged to gather together to strengthen unity and diversity - we set up business, hold events, and sometimes establish temporary dwellings here. Funny thing about the Outer Ring is that it only exists in stationary formation - once the clan districts break up to mobilize, the outer ring no longer exists. It's like your lap when you stand up, I always say!"

Tim had followed along as best he could up to this point, but the part about city sections picking up and changing places still confused him.

"Pardon me, if I can interrupt," he said nervously, hoping that his question would not be too imbecile, "but I haven't been here long enough to git everythin' about Clans an' districts an such. How do ya know which districts an' which clans are where? In fact, I don't even know what all the clans are... it's my fault for bein' raised out in the country, I don't git out much, I'm sorry..."

Heathrose laughed, which didn't help Tim's confidence. He was sure that she would scorn him for a lack of understanding. But that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"Hahaha oh my, no need to be sorry! If you aren't from the Links or don't have dealings with them, I wouldn't expect you to know how they function. The Clan system extends beyond our boundary, but if you're isolated I can see how that may slip by you as well. I wasn't really familiar with them myself until the family moved here from the western pine forest. Anyway, let me see if I can explain this to you in a more constructive way... Oh I know! We'll teach you the song!"

"The song? There's a song about this?"

"Well of course there is, the best way to remember something is to put it to music! The girls know it by heart - now if they would only come out from behind that chair and give our guest a proper hello!"

Two identical heads, sporting chocolate mustaches, popped out from either side of the recliner.

"Girls, Mr. Timbones is new to the Links! We need to teach him about the Clans! Can you help?"

Each head nodded enthusiastically. The two little squirrels dashed out from their hiding spot, stood tall beside each other, and launched into a broken and partly intelligible chant. The name of each Clan was belted out, followed by a short explanatory verse:

Longtooth! (that us!)

Fight wit rake an' pow!

Denna!

Livin' in da cave!

Sknnia One!

Dey scaly but OK!

Curve Claw!

Wild missy cats!

Sky Clan!

See an' soufflé!

An'a Ring! In Kango oval yard!

By the time it was over, Heathrose held her face in her paws - supposedly in embarrassment, but really she was doing all she could to stifle her laughter.

Timbones wasn't much better off than when he started. "I'm sorry... I don't think I heard that quite right."

Heathrose contained her laughter and shooed off the little ones. "Go on you two, you need to practice more. Here, how about you go up to the canopy and draw mister Timbones something that will welcome him to our city?" She handed them the box of sticks, carefully reserving a few choice colors for her own use. One sister gleefully took the box and dashed towards the rope, while the other trailed behind protesting that it was her turn to carry it, and that the only way to restore order would be to allow her to carry it back down tomorrow.

Tim watched as the duo chased each other up to the loft.

"Jayne and I argued like that all the time..." Not wanting to burden Heathrose with his past, Tim quickly changed the subject. "What are their names?"

"Layla and Liza. You can always tell Layla from Liza because she has a brown spot of fur on her cheek - that doesn't work after a chocolate muffin dinner, of course." She returned her attention to the map. "Now where were we? Ah yes, the Clans! The clan districts are in the four corners of the circle."

Tim blinked. "Circles don't have corners... do they?"

"Haha well you just gotta give it some!"

With that she drew four straight lines at each edge of the outer circle, where the corners would have been if it were a square. The result was a whole new shape: a sort of four-pointed star - a diamond - surrounded by four half-ovals, and the Inner Ring with Kango's tent in the center of the diamond.

Now Tim began to understand. "Ahhh I think I git it - this is a system. Kango is most important, so he's in center. Then comes the Inner Ring, which are his warriors. An' then the Outer Ring, which is where y'all git ta'gether. And then this Outer Ring is surrounded by each of the clan districts! That's why y'all can get ta'gether and mingle so easily!"

"And also why the Outer ring doesn't exist when the City moves out - it is formed by the four Clans acting as it's frame!" Heathrose added. "Without them, all that's left is the Inner Ring and Kango - which, in fact, serve as the center link of the 'chain' when we are in mobile formation."

"Well this is all great!" Tim exclaimed. "The Guild show is bein' held in the Skinned Ones District, so all I gotta do is figure out where I am now, an' then this map'll git me there!"

"Right! And I can certainly help with that-" Heathrose placed a claw in the Outer Ring, just outside the Longtooth District. "You are here, next to the peridot Kangoment." She placed a red dot at her clawmark, and then larger green dot next to it.

"Kangoment... that's what Melvin called the big statue... Wait, peridot? My uncle was a prospector, he taught me all about gemstones. Is that what that big statue was made outta?"

"Sure is! You see, each clan has a stone or mineral associated with it. The Longtooth - the clan that encompasses squirrels, mice, prairie dogs, and the like - is represented by peridot."

Tim contemplated this. "But... how'd they get so much peridot ta make a statue outta it? I've never seen but more than hunks a' rock, some little carvings too..."

"Well Timbones, that I can't tell you. But I can tell you that if you hang around the Links long enough, you'll see many things that you just can't explain. Especially if you visit the Denners, but I don't recommend that just yet."

Heathrose added several more features to the map as she spoke.

"You'll find a 'Kangoment,' as we like to call them, at the intersections between districts. This is also where you will find the city gates, four in all. Newcomers are always greeted by a Kangoment, I'm surprised that you didn't notice one when you came in. No matter."

Tim had actually been napping in the back of a Sandsline wagon when the refugees had arrived, but he saw no reason to interrupt Heathrose with this trivial detail.

"The Longtooth are represented by peridot, the Denners fire agate, the Curved Claws  - that's wildcats -  by amethyst, and the Skinned Ones - that's lizards and toads and the like - by garnet. The fifth Clan is composed of birds and bats, aptly named the Sky Clan. They are represented by turquoise, but have no district. Rather, each ground-beast clan designates a small portion of their land for the Sky to roost, typically overlapping with the Outer Ring. There is a turquoise Kangoment though; it is the largest of the statues and resides in the center, not far from Kango's tent itself. I suppose it's some sort of centerpiece to the whole place, as if the real Kango weren't already a centerpiece!" she scoffed.

"I was meaning to ask about that," Tim interjected. "I didn't know Kango was a leader that like to be idolized and worshiped and such-"

Heathrose raised a paw. "I'm going to stop you there. What Kango wants exactly isn't made too well known to most beasts. As I understand it, he didn't even order the creation of the statues. But as beasts came together - or, more precisely, flocked around Kango and his band, increasing the city's proportion like a rolling mudball - some prominent beasts who were adoring Kango-fans ('Kangites' we used to call 'em) had the monuments commissioned and pushed for their construction. They also wrote the city anthem, started immigration campaigns, and did... some other stuff. More or less important depending on who you ask. Personally, my family probably wouldn't have settled here if it weren't for Kangite activism. But anyways, that shouldn't concern you. Here is your map, I added a colored dot to represent each Kangoment, and marked each Clan district, added a few main streets and such. Just keep that map with you and you'll never be lost again - if I do say so myself haha!"

Timbones listened intently to all of the information that Heathrose divulged. He was impressed - she seemed to know everything there was to know about the City. Olna had always warned Tim about "pretty squirrels" who used their looks to trick you into thinking that they were something special, when really they were nothing more than sandkickers themselves. But Heathrose was special beyond doubt - she was pretty and knew what she was talking about. Tim highly appreciated beasts that shared their knowledge willingly without making others feel insignificant or foolish - Heathrose was the embodiment of that. Not once during their conversation had she talked down to him for not knowing something.

The antelope squirrel's mind began to race at pronghorn-speed What a kind family the Mapledougs are - if only I had known them when I was a squibby, things would've been different... but I know them now. I have to thank her for this somehow... And I should say something, I should tell her how much I appreciate this... how much I appreciate her...

"Roseheath-" he began, "This is really incredible... how... how did you learn all of this? Your father must be a very good teacher. Or... maybe you studied under the Dowager or some refined beast?"

"Dowager?" Heathrose looked confused. "Oh, are you referring to the Longtooth Clan leader? No, being outsiders we've had few dealings with the official Clan beyond what's required, let alone with the likes of 'high society.' Actually, I learned most of what I know from just travelling around the Links and talking with beasts from different walks of life. That and my husband of course, he's part of the garrison and knows about how it all started."

Tim's heart did a quadruple beat and then froze as cold as a rattlesnakes belly in mid-January. Or at least that's what it felt like. Probably.

"Your... husband?" he said in disbelief. "You're married? Oh... I mean, that's wonderful, I'm so happy for you!" He cringed inwardly. Of all the stupid things to say! You've come this far and now you blow it, idiot!

Heathrose put a paw to her muzzle and shook a little bit. Tim misinterpreted this as the onset of some sort of temper-tantrum, so he slid off of the bench and trotted quickly towards the doorway, apologising frantically as he did so.

"I am really very sorry, I didn't mean to upset you! I... I... Sometimes my brain doesn't follow my muzzle... I mean, no that's not... Um, I, I'd better go-"

Finally Heathrose could not contain herself any longer and burst out with laughter so hard and loud that it woke baby Tooothbuck, and caused the twins to peep out from the opening to see what all the commotion was about.

"HAHAHAHA OH MY, TIM!" she wiped away tears. "You thought I was... ha... hahaha! I'm sorry to disappoint you... but who do you think all these children belong to, eh?"

Tim, now thoroughly shaken, replied with halting speech. "I... I just thought they were your siblings..."

"Siblings? Oh goodness no Timbones - these are my children! All three of them!"

Tim tried to smile and accept the fact that Heathrose wasn't angry with him. "I... I see that now... haha, that makes sense!"

His relief however was completely broken as a gruff voiced rang out from the doorway directly behind him: "WHAT'S GOIN' ON 'ERE?!?"

Tim squealed and leapt several pawlengths into the air falling onto his back to face the intruder, whom he was sure was Heathrose's jealous husband come to seek vengeance.

But it was none other than Melvin Mapledough, also attracted by the sound of Heathrose's raucous laughter.

"HARHARHAR! Sounded like yew beasts was havin' too much fun in here wit'out invitin' me harharHAR!"

Tim tried desperately to keep his heart from pounding through his scrawny chest. "Mister... Mapledough..." he said breathlessly. "I'm so glad it's you."

"Well who else would it be? Dowager Silvia Whatserfangs? Harharhar!"

If there were any strand of horizontal fur left  on Tim's body, it surely was vertical now.

"That old lady just come round the shop, said she was lookin' fer a young squirrel wit' a missin' shirtsleeve... I told 'er 'I ain't seen no squirrel yer lookin fer,' an' I din't lie cause I figure, yer sleeve's jus' natural like that wit' tha missin' paw an' all that..." He winked playfully. "And I can't image a nice young bud like yew'd wanta be hangin' round wit tha Dowager - why, she wouldn't even taste a piece a' me onion bread, what a shame!"

"Oh no, not your onion bread, father! How could she!" Heathrose commiserated humorously.

"I know! I ain't never been so offended since grandma Nutwig used me scones as nighty-time slippers! They maya been hard as rock but they tasted better harharhar!"

Heathrose sat down heavily on the bench. "Oh I remember that, that was such a ridiculous reunion..."

The two tree squirrels continued to laugh until they noticed that Timbones was still on the floor, unnerved by the whole situation. Melvin extended a paw for the young one to take.

"My 'pologies," he said as he heaved Tim up. "I shouldn't a snuck up like that, but I can't resist a good scare. Rosey give ya those directions ya wanted?"

Heathrose picked up the map and held it out, not bothering to get up from the bench and still convulsing with intermittent fits of laughter.

"Here haha hic! Tim! Don't forget hiccup! this! Oh dear... hic!"

Tim gingerly retrieved the map from her outstretched arm - it didn't stretch very far though, and he had to walk across the room to reach her. "Are... you alright?"

"Depends on your hiccup! definition of hic! alright HIC!"

Melvin shook his head. "Oh no - she's gone and done it again. My fault too I suppose. Don't worry Tim, this tends to happen - nothin' some good hot tea won't fix harhar!"

"Oh, well alright then... you... wouldn't mind if I take my leave then, would you? I fear I may have missed the Guild show already..."

"Oh no, you hic! go on!" Heathrose insisted. "Make use of that HIC! map I made you, hic! please!"

"Yeah, you just run along, an' steer clear of any old ladies lookin' ta adopt, harhar!"

"Oh don't worry mister Mapledough, I've learned that lesson quite thoroughly!" Tim made his way out the door, fearing that if he stayed any longer he might not get another opportunity to leave before another bout of hysterics. "Goodbye all," he waved, "I'll never forget your hospitality!"

"Aye, an' pass it along!"

"Good HIC tidings Timbones!"

"I will! Goodbye Mapledoughs, goodbye Heathrose!" And with that he disappeared behind the tent flap.

Melvin turned to address his daughter. "Ain't yew a Mapledough too?"

She shrugged. "I hic! thought I was! Guess I'm a hic Barkblade, technically HIC! though!"

Marvin cracked a smile and began to chuckle again. "Yeah,  Igues yew are - harharhar how do I always ferget that, seems yer mate is just one-o-us than one-o-hisself HARHARHAR!"

The two launched into a fit of laughter so hard that it frightened off all of the Sky Clan pigeons roosting nearby, as well as awakening all of the children in a three-tent radius who were supposed to be asleep while their parents roamed the festival at the City of Links.