Erethas's Review Shack

[Erethas]

In case anyone finds it helpful, I am posting my review of the story I left and ff.net:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5416778/1/RedVenture_5_Mirage
Last post I read before reviewing was Venril's Morlock post - oh yes,  the Time Machine, Venril  ;D.

Hahah, I shall be the first to review, and I shall be evil, but not! I find each and every character realistic, believable and endearing, and each chapter is vry well written. I can imagine the scenes and action in my minds eye, and the characters are distinct from each other. But I have to say this, that it seems to me the the story is being pulled in several directions for the last few chapters. I would mention the trail of events but it would spoil the story for others who haven't finished. It seems like the story has morphed through several stages and plots, and it's not sticking with the original plot. It is confusing, and increasingly complicated and hard to keep track of, and I find myself wondering 'How on earth is a story with multiple barely connected plots/events is going to end?"

We have gone from slaves planning to escape to everyone being chased by feral beasts, for example. I ask the writers, do or will these events support each other, and join up into one single plot? How are you going to tie all these different threads together? It's on the verge, if it isn't already, on becoming too complicated, in my opinion. I would like to see the writers sticking to the events/threads that are going on right now, and not add any new ones that will only scramble things more.

The short of it - there many many many things going on, and the story doesn't need any more dimensions, in my opinions. Any more would be distracting.

Don't get me wrong - I love the story and the characters; this is just me talking, just my opinion, and you don't have to take this seriously.

[Opal]

Thanks a bunch for the reviews, Erethas! Glad you joined up with us! I was just going to come poke you audience types about reviewing.

**pokes the rest anyway** :P

[Suellyn]

*pokes them too and nods* yeah. what she said.

[Erethas]

Hey, no problem! And I am very glad to have found this place; it's been too long.
I'll try my hand at reviewing - bear with me, I haven't reviewed much.

[Cairn Destop]

Thanks a bunch for the reviews, Erethas! Glad you joined up with us! I was just going to come poke you audience types about reviewing.

**pokes the rest anyway** :P

When I did, I got poked in the karma.  I'll stick to PMing those who asked.

[Revel]

On the one hand, I don't think being afraid for your karma should matter in reviewing. I have faith in my fellow writers not to be that fickle. If we disagree with you (and we often will because there's just no way for us to please everyone, or for everyone to say exactly what we want to hear) we'll be civil about why.

But on the other, it is a blow to one's moral to see their points drop after making a post and I can see how that would put some if not many people off. Especially if no one replies to their comments politely. Especially especially if no one replies at all, and your karma just plummets without the persons responsible having the decency to say why.

It's a nice feature for normal forum activity, but with the egos and emotions suffocating the air around here, I think it would be best if it was temporarily disabled, miz Tara.

I look forward to your reviews, Erethas!  ;)

[Sycamore]

*basks in his heavenly karma glow*

[Sparrowhawk]

Is there some way, by any chance, to disable the "smite" option while still retaining the ability to "applaud"? That would seem to be an ideal solution, but it kinda sounds too good to be possible.

[Opal]

I'm not sure. It kind of looks like it's either an on or off feature. Don't think there's any way to edit it.

[Stonewall]

Thanks a bunch for the reviews, Erethas! Glad you joined up with us! I was just going to come poke you audience types about reviewing.

**pokes the rest anyway** :P

Any one feel like writing research  essays on Canadian politics, medival Russia, and Quebec Film, while keeping up with regular homework assignments and a part time job, for me? Because the part of my brain that writes and reads things is fried.

[Ashira]

No thanks.  I already have to write three different papers that involve lots of watching the same film over and over again. 

[Rath the Whirlwind]

But... you already are reviewing. o_o

[Ashira]

Yes, despite my three papers.  Aren't I nice?

[Damask the Minstrel]

Well... accommodating perhaps, but, nice? ^.- (You know I love ya, Oni.)

[Erethas]

All right, time for another general review. Since my last review, things have change a lot and for the best I feel. The loose ends have been tied together and the story has more twists, turns and edges. The Venturers are exiting the cave but the circumstances are quite different from when ones when they were entering. How is Saguru's band going to react to the eyeless cave dwellers? Will the monsters governed by the two rogues mentioned by Baez follow them and add a lot of extra chaos? Will Bell join up with Saguru and/or fight her for leadership? Who knows, there are a lot of possibilities out there.
The last thing I want to see are for the slaves getting recaptured. We've already seen that. What's great is that the situation has changed completely with the fox captain dead or severely wounded, and the monitor claiming to be a spy for the woodlander band. Take advantage of that. There is a lot to work with, what with the love triangle. I think the love triangle is great, and adds a lot of depth to the plot and the characters.

Will add some more later on.