I'm Not Inclined to Resign To Maturity

[Rallentando]

Rallentando didn't dream often. Her daytime activities were too exhausting. When it was time to rest, her brain did its filing before sleep and shut down with the rest of her body. Dreams were rare, brought on by weird new foods like peaches, and usually didn't involve vermin.

But, the rabbit added, that was because she'd almost never SEEN any vermin before. Now she knew what they looked like, they could show up in her dreams just like any old thing.

It was still dark, wherever she was. She couldn't feel or move her paws. She was cold, and the ground was hard, though covered in straw. There was straw in her nose. She chewed on it to calm her nerves and help her think.

Violet had been making a fuss... Poppa had been out of it... Mr. Wulgar and the woodlanders on the way to the feast... Then they'd been in the infirmary, and she'd been really drowsy, must have been tired from carrying Poppa... And then the minks, the builder and the female, came in... and then they crawled into the cupboard to hide... she'd been trying to remember how to get to the escape tunnel, but had trouble focusing...

Rallentando spat out the straw.

Oh, no! They must have been captured! This wasn't the cupboard at all, and... And it was so very familiar.

"Wakey wakey, Mr. Beaver..."

Bright light spilled onto her face. She looked up into the upside-down face of a rat, and screamed. Oh, it was simply hideous!

Sergeant Airya was very put out by this. She kicked Rallentando in the stomach and then hauled her upright. This made her very dizzy and she blacked out for a few seconds. Rallentando opened her eyes once she could breathe properly again, and saw Mr. Wulgar had his paws tied, too. He was already standing, growling and trying to get at Sergeant Airya. A ferret and a weasel had bullied into the little prison room and subdued the beaver, gagging him and prodding him with spears. Rallentando started crying again.

"Hush it, rabbit," Airya snapped. "You shouldn't have anything to complain about. In fact, you've got it lucky. The Limper has an opening in the kitchens. A little runt like you would just put us back another week on construction duty. Mr. Bitey here might be more useful in that area, however..."

Rallentando didn't stop crying. She couldn't stop. It was all happening again like before!

?

Rallentando had always thought it was all a myth, a bedtime scare-story used to keep her unruly siblings (SHE was never unruly) in check. Don't stay up or Vulpuz would get you! Don't talk back or Vulpuz would put boiled cabbage in your sheets! Don't eat candied chestnuts for dinner or Vulpuz would tickle your stomach from the inside! Don't sneak off without permission to find out where your father disappeared to or you would mysteriously die and Vulpuz would turn out to be real and send you back in time because you ruined all of history the first time around!

"Put it in a box," she whispered. "Close the lid. Put it under the stairs. Put your old cloak over it. Forget about it."

She was a spy! She had to keep her mind limber and clear. No emotions. Emotions were the enemy. Everybeast else were just clients.

Sergeant Airya marched them down the corridor towards the kitchens. Mr. Wulgar kept trying to whisper something at Rallentando. She wasn't paying attention. Or maybe it was because he had a gag in his mouth.

Rallentando's paws were free and tingling now, and she used them to find her little notebook and flip through it briefly. A lot of pages were blank that shouldn't have been. She almost started crying again, but held it back only just. How was she going to remember all that had happened? Or was... going to have happened.

It was only the warm smell of garlic and cheese that brought her back to the present. But wasn't the present in the future, she wondered? Her head hurt.

"Limper," said Airya, "Here they are. You've only got the beaver for morning today. He's needed for the construction later. Rabbit's all yours. Careful, they're weird ones. I think they WANT to work."

"Yes, yes, put them in the corner," said Luka, waving a paw behind him. He seemed distracted, Rallentando thought. He was playing chess. His opponent looked like a rutabaga. Rallentando liked that word. She didn't like rutabagas that much, though.

Then the fox straightened up. "Rabbit and a beaver?" He whirled around and pointed. "You!"

"M-me?" said Rallentando. He remembered her! But... how? She'd been too busy crying in her dream... that is, in Dark Forest, to notice who else had been there. Maybe Luka was one of the others?

"And... you." Luka shifted his pointing finger to Chokk, who grunted. Rallentando hurriedly reached up to undo the gag around the beaver's mouth.

"About time..."

The door behind them swung shut and open again, as if Sergeant Airya had gone behind a dressing screen and turned into a stocky mouse with glasses.

"Good morning, Radish," said Rallentando instinctively. The mouse squinted at her.

"Good... morning..." He turned to Luka. "Captain Blacktip requests a meal be sent straightaway to his chambers. Enough for five. Drinks for ten. I've been told to tell you to have a rabbit and a beaver help you deliver it all."

"Captain Blacktip..." Luka sucked on his teeth. "Tell him it will be done immediately. Girdy!" A squirrelmaid popped up out of nowhere, saluting impishly. "Take the rabbit, make something for breakfast. Beaver, we need to talk..."

Rallentando followed the taller squirrelmaid into the other room. She'd only been working here for a week, but habit was something that formed easily for the rabbit. She found herself collecting dishes before Girdy had given any instructions.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, um, I'm getting these ready to put food on. It's... it's what we do at home. Is it... different here? My name is Rallentando, by the way," she said. I know your secret crush, I know your favorite flavor of salad dressing, I know all three of your middle initials, I know you like to take fifteen minute naps in the alcove behind the wood stove when it's not on, I know you're allergic to cinnamon, and you know NOTHING about me. Rallentando had to bite her lip hard.

"Girdy," said Girdy. "No, you're doing it just how I would do it. That's good. I think we'll work together nicely! Are you okay?"

"Oh, that's good! I am fine. My teeth itch."

"That happens," Girdy agreed. "Okay, so we're going to make some cheese and cracker plates first, and Luka will put salami on it later."

Rallentando blanched. Salami was so gross.

"I'll get the cheese, you get the crackers. Bottom... Good, you found them. That was quick. Say, what do you think about oatmeal? We need to get that started, too."

"Oatmeal sounds lovely."

"Mm-hm, watch me make it after this. So here's the knives, don't stick anybeast with them. Cutting board hangs up here, so let's get it down... Now the trick to cutting cheese is to cut the wheel in half first, and then-"

"Oh, but that cheese is no good," said Rallentando. "You won't want to use it, Girdy."

"Excuse me? It's perfectly fine."

"Er... no, it really isn't. My Momma says not to use cheese if it's even a day next to mold, and that cheese is..." She wanted to say: That's why you threw it out four days ago! Her head hurt so much.

The squirrel sniffed it. "Smells fine for now. Look, it's Captain Blacktip. He won't even taste it over the drink. And if it is bad cheese I would serve it to him anyway."

Rallentando only shrugged helplessly and gave a little laugh.

"Just get the oats out. They're-"

"Third cupboard from the left, I know."

Girdy stopped cutting the cheese and looked at her.

"How?"

Rallentando thought about explaining it all to her friend. From Girdy's perspective, she realized, it would look like Rallentando could see the future. This was partially true. If Rallentando explained anything, she could clearly see the future involved being tied to a bed and chucked into a lake. So she settled for a little white lie.

"I have a really good nose."

"For oats."

"Yes."

"You are a strange little rabbit."

"Haha," she said again, and waggled her ears for good measure. Girdy carefully hid the extra knife when she thought Rallentando wasn't looking.

From that point on, Rallentando was able to listen before acting. Breakfast preparations went along swimmingly, though after all this time neither of them could make oatmeal that wasn't all sticky and gooey.

Rallentando kept thinking about the box beneath the stairs.

It should have been comforting, knowing there was something afterwards. Knowing that life didn't simply snuff out like a candle under glass. She knew she ought to take solace in that.

She also knew that she was only thirteen seasons old and had absolutely no business having deep philosophical inquiries about the nature of the afterlife, let alone experiencing the inquiries firsthand. Her entire world view depended on thinking that early bedtime was the end of the world and having aunts over for dinner was worse than death.

She suddenly missed her aunts very much. And her sisters, and her mother. Even her brothers.

She put a few more coats on top of it the box and locked the closet door. Metaphorically, of course.