Timshel

[Rousseau]

Dear Rouss,
How are things going in Kotir? Good? I hope you have your business almost complete. The alliance with King Rolf?s beasts, I chose it specifically for you because I knew it would be an easy assignment.  I knew it wouldn?t take much time either. I want you to come back as soon as possible. I miss you. I know I don?t write much but I just wanted to hear your voice, or, I mean, read what you wrote or? damn it. I just want to talk to you again, Rouss. I want I just think Damn it! Damn it to Hellgates! I don?t care if your work is done or not, just come home, Rouss. Please, I want to see you.

Reginald Frostfang

I let this letter sit for a while because I didn?t think I could write more. I didn?t know what words to use or how to phrase it, my scribe usually does that for me so I didn?t know how to continue. So, I?ll ask. Do you hate me? Do you hate me for what I did? I just. I just? I don?t know the right words but, I?m sorry, Rouss, I?m sorry.

Regi.

Rousseau?s remaining eye flickered over the parchment, tracing over them, rereading them, and examining them for all that they were worth. The rattess sat upright in her infirmary bed staring at the letter that had arrived from a messenger bird merely an hour before she had awoken, listening to the quiet sounds of breathing and the bustle of beasts? footpaws shuffling across the cool, stone floor. She blinked and ran a claw over the last two words. The ink was messily scrawled, unlike the previous letters that had been sent that were neat and well-worded.  As he had said, Reginald had written it himself.

Rousseau expertly tossed it into a nearby waste bin.

Despite what was written and asked of her, the rattess had no intention of speaking with him.  She wouldn?t mind if she never saw his ugly mug ever again. Whatever misery he was going through, he definitely deserved it for cutting out her eye and banishing her to this rock of a country.  But it was over, she reminded herself.  Her struggle, the fighting, everything was over.  And soon, perhaps, she could leave and all of the memories of the last two weeks, the two same weeks, Vulpuz had forced her to live through behind her.  But, this country and her journey had done more good than harm, or at least so far it had.  Her crew respected her now, they spoke of her highly as if she were some hero and did what she asked, and the other beasts treated her like she existed, an honor usually only reserved for Willump and Calder.  She was no longer the captain that shrugged off her duties and ignored everybeast because she feared the thought of trusting them.  No. She was the captain who came from Terramort, the one who had killed Morleo, the one who had saved Kotir. Beasts spoke to her as if she mattered, as if she weren?t just another face in the crowd or some unknown species.

It was strange to say, but at the mere cost of one of her eyes, Rousseau was happy, finally glad to not be alone as she once was.  And the price was small. The rattess barely noticed the blackness on her right side any more.  What was the point of acknowledging it? She still had her left. She could still see.  And the world, though black on one side, seemed brighter than before, better than when she tried to pretend the ugly didn?t exist by painting what she deemed beautiful. The darkness was just contrast, a nice artist?s touch, and it made her smile.  She was better off without her eye. Everything important was to her left anyway.

She turned her head in the direction.  Calder Sharkskin sat by her bed snoring in an old chair he had found.  The rat cook had been there since she had woken, waiting for her she assumed, only resting when the rattess had personally told him to, and even that took some convincing.  Even still, he refused to leave until he knew more of her condition, falling asleep where he sat, the paw he had once gripped hers with hanging limply by his side.  She smiled at him.  

Rousseau lifted the sheets of her bed and surveyed the damage Morleo had done to her side.  A long gash curved its way down her midriff to her waist, a set of stitches holding it together so it didn?t reopen and bleed everywhere. The violet color she remembered it having had gone, replaced with the more natural rosy pink of flesh.  

The rattess stretched her muscles, testing the strength of the stitches, and when they didn?t break she tried to get out from bed.  Her side ached but Rousseau ignored it, lifting the sheets and covers of her infirmary bed and attempted to escape their embrace.  Willump?s bed was near to hers, Calder had told her, just three beds down to the left, but through the curtains that had been set up as makeshift walls to give resting beasts their privacy, it was impossible for her to get visual of the weasel.  And now that she knew that she herself was okay, all that mattered was the status of her first mate.  He was fine, sleeping, Aryll and Calder had explained when she awoke and asked for him, but she needed to be sure.

The walk was more painful than she was expecting, but she shrugged it off best she could and made the short journey to where Willump supposedly lay. True to her crew?s word, the weasel lay unconscious in a soft, spotless white bed, his mouth hanging slightly open and his brow furrowed as if he were contorting in pain. Rousseau frowned.  She didn?t like that look.  She wanted to see his usual sheepish grin plastered on his maw. Next to him in another bed was a mink who she assumed to be Alan for a moment but the peaceful expression on his face, one that would have been a snarl, clued her in as to who the beast actually was.

?Good t? see yer okay too, Konner,? Rousseau said, grabbing a chair and shoving it in the space between the two beds. She sat, looking over Willump with her single eye, scrutinizing over every detail of the weasel?s body. His lithe form was bandaged from his neck to his tail, covering every inch of the wound Morleo had inflicted upon him. The rattess had never shared a cabin with the weasel, in fact she hadn?t ever known which cabin was even his either, so she had never seen him sleep before, but up close to him where she could see his eyelids closed and the rise and fall of his chest as he took breath after breath, she felt a sudden closeness to him.  Here she could see how truly vulnerable he was, another life she might have let slip away because she hadn?t taken action quick enough. She wondered if he would die.

Or even wake up.

Rousseau glanced to where Konner lay, his breathing much the same as Willump?s. Thinking about it, she had never seen the mink?s eyes.  Did they look like Alan?s, she thought?

?Sleeping beasts are hardly what I'd call interesting company.? The voice came as if on cue.

She twisted around instinctively at the familiar voice, cringing at a fresh rush of pain in her side that came from the motion. Alan Blacktip had appeared behind the rattess, his body almost completely bare besides a long strip of bandages that covered his chest and a pair of trousers. The mink grabbed a chair and pushed it next to hers, slumping into it carefully.

?But they?re company nonetheless,? Rousseau said, smirking.  She brushed somebeast?s stray strand of fur off of Willump?s motionless form. ?I heard that ya died, but I didn?t think it was possible.  Yer too stubborn fer that.?

Alan never moved. ?So I?m told.?

Rousseau nodded. ?Guess I?m stuck with yer ugly mug then.?

Alan?s eyes drifted over Konner?s body. ?Bite me,? he said, no enthusiasm in his voice. He glanced toward the door of the infirmary. ?Radish.?

The mouse, his spectacles cracked and a bandage covering one of his ears, appeared at the mink?s side almost instantaneously. ?Sir??

?Drink for me, and the wench.  Scrounge up some food too, Vulpuz knows if you can find any in the state things are in now."  Alan paused for a moment, "Please."

Radish nodded. ?Yes sir, Captain. Right away.? The mouse shuffled off with hurried paws.  

Alan was silent for a moment longer before speaking again. ?He is dead then??

?Aye, he?s dead,? Rousseau answered simply. ?I had a couple o? close calls, but everybeast seemed t? be watchin? my back well enough, Toby saved my life, killed somebeast on the walls that was tryin? t? dump somethin? on me. I need t? thank ?im fer that later. But,? she paused, ?I need t? thank someone else first. Morleo had a sword at my throat, pinned.  He had won. An? then?? she trailed off, the weasel in front of her twitching and then cringing in pain. ?He showed up.?

The mink nodded in understanding. ?And the rest??

?Killed or captured mostly,? Rousseau answered. ?Lord Tirian and Lady Kovari are figurin? out wot they want t? do with ?em. They might like yer input. Got any ideas??

The mink shook his head. ?They wouldn't like them.  As bloodthirsty as wolves can be, they don't seem to smile upon genocide.? He sighed. ?I?ll think of something later. Just be glad that you're still breathing."

?I don't know if I want t' be is the thing,? Rousseau replied. She stopped for a moment, thinking. She gestured to Willump?s still form. ?I was supposed t? be the one t? die fer him, that?s what I told myself. Not the opposite.?

?Both of you are alive, why the hell are you griping?"  His eyes strayed to Konner, and he took a deep breath.  "And he'll wake up.  Be thankful."

?I ain?t so sure. Morleo got ?im deep an??? she started but couldn?t finish. ?Either way, yer a good beast, Alan,? Rousseau muttered.

?Hah!?

?Ya always act like ya hate everybeast, an? ya might, I don?t know, but, underneath all that, yer a good beast,? she answered, ?an? a damn good captain at that. I don?t know yer brother, an? I don?t know wot happened t? ?im, but wotever it was, he won?t blame ya. You kin be sure o? that. He?s yer brother after all, right??

Alan was silent, pondering something. ?Konner was twice the beast I'll ever be, and whoever appointed you captain was a sodbrained idiot,? he finally said. ?But I think I'm supposed to say, thank you, and return the compliments.  But that would be lying."  Rousseau contained her anger as the mink produced a folded parchment from his trouser?s pocket, pawing it over to the rattess. ?It appears you managed to do something right though.?

Rousseau unfolded it and read.

Dear Reginald Frostfang, King of Terramort,
In response to your humble request for an alliance with me and my husband as well as King Rolf and Kotir, I must say that you?ve sent a rather? strange choice for a diplomat for your supposedly esteemed kingdom. Captain Rousseau is unorthodox, lazy, incompetent, and has been, quite frankly, little help when it has come to physical labor. On more than one occasion she has lied to Tirian or myself, she has ignored orders given to her, blatantly left Kotir with a few other beasts for a trek through the woods and only returned with one beast dead and a hostage of some troubling beasts who has brought more nuisance than anything. She started a war on our doorstep with these beasts and, though we feared the same amount of carelessness and ineptitude when it came to fighting or leading her beasts, she proved our expectations incorrect.  My husband was captured during the fray and she, along with a few beasts from her ship, saved his life and turned the tides of the battle in our favor.  Had it not been for her, he would have most likely been slain and Kotir would have fallen.

All in all, I am not impressed with Captain Rousseau?s work ethic, and if this is who you send as your representative of your country and its navy, I am surprised you ever believed you could ever possibly gain an alliance with us. However, you are fortunate that, though she is lazy, Rousseau fought valiantly for Kotir, gaining an injury of her own, and saved it, but most importantly, saved my husband. And for that, I believe I owe her something. King Frostfang, your choice was unorthodox but fortunate. We shall speak more on this alliance soon.

Lady Kovari of Kotir

?Kovari wrote this??

?It's her signature.? He shrugged. ?You saved Tirian.  In so doing, you saved everyone under this roof.  That's better than a compliment from me by the way.  If you were wondering.

?Aye, thanks.?

The mink nodded.

?So wot?s there left t? do now??

The captain didn?t need to think about is answer. ?The castle needs to be restored, something Tobias is already seeing to from what I?ve heard, you know, when he's not clinging all over Adrian, and I?ve already ordered a team to travel through the escape tunnel and cave in the exit so some vengeful rat doesn?t try to finish carrying out Morleo?s plan once they?re released. As for what?s left to do: check the food stocks, tend to the wounded and dead, figure out what to do with Mirdros, we need to-?

?Mirdros?? Rousseau interrupted. ?Won?t he jest go back t? ?is tribe??

?Hah.  So like a female. No.  He won't. ?

?Why not??

?He has been tainted from staying with us 'Demon fiends.'  There is no telling what horrible torments we put him through, and what influences we slipped into his susceptible little skull.  You killed his father, I killed his grandmother.  The line is cursed. And so, he?s been outcast.  A shame to their precious water."

?An? they won?t take ?im back!? Rousseau practically shouted. ?Doesn?t ?e have a mum or somethin???

?If he did, she hasn't come forward, meaning she either shares her tribes beliefs, or she's dead.? Alan said. ?I asked if you were prepared to accept the consequences of your actions when you took it upon yourself to kill Morleo.  This was why.?

Rousseau was silent. The way he emphasized her action reverberated through her core like the shock of Morleo?s club hitting her skull.

?Not to mention-?

?I was the one who took ?im.?

Alan nodded.

That was it then. After everything that had happened, everything she had done to save Kotir, to save time itself, Mirdros would be abandoned as if he was nothing by everybeast and, naturally, it was all her fault. She had accepted the fact that she would leave him without a father, but she hadn?t realized she would literally take away everything he knew from him. Morleo though, surely Morleo knew what would become of his son. Were those his final thoughts as she pushed her sword through his flesh, not of his or his tribe?s defeat, but of the inevitable fate of Mirdros?

Abandonment, exile, excommunication. The child barely looked older than five and already he was going to experience what the world really felt like, loneliness. The rattess hated that word.

?Destiny and Fate are funny like that, Rousseau,? Vulpuz?s voice echoed through her head. ?And his fate has been predetermined from the start.?

It was his fate. Vulpuz had known that from the start.

Rousseau snarled inwardly. ?What are ya suggestin? I do, Alan?

?Me suggest something?  The only thing I ever suggest, I suggest to prettier females than you.  But I do see an obvious solution.?

?But me! I couldn?t-?

?He's alone,? Alan said. ?He has no one, and if he stays like that, he will die.?

?You are suggestin? it.?

?No, now I?m demanding it.?

?I killed his father!?

?Exatly,? Alan replied.

?Stop tryin? t? guilt me into it, Alan! Why can?t you do it??

The mink snorted. ?Yes, let?s give him to the drunkard to raise.  He'll only beat him when he's sober, and he might remember to feed him when he gets hungry too. Just imagine me doing it.?

?Ya act as if ya care about ?im,? Rousseau said.

?He?s a child. He deserves a chance.? He sighed. ?Just think about it.?

Rousseau paused, contemplating everything that had been said. Loneliness. Alan knew her far more than she had ever given him credit for. He knew what she had been thinking of, and knew how it would strike a chord within her. Mirdros would be as alone, if not more, than she had ever been. No father or mother, no first mate to fix his mistakes or a cook to cling to when something went wrong. Of everything she had felt, the sadness and the fear, the only thing that had kept her even remotely sane was the beauty she could create on a piece of canvas, a beauty that reminded her that not all of the world was as dark as she believed, but he wouldn?t even have that. No, he couldn?t know that feeling. No, he needed somebeast. He needed her.

?Ya know me too well, Alan.? Rousseau said. ?Ya know I won?t have to.?

Alan?s only response was a curt nod.

?Where is ?e?? Rousseau asked, finishing a glass of wine she knew she would need.

?Last I heard, he?s held himself up in your room with the door locked, refusing to let anyone in. I would call for somebeast to break it down, but the castle seems damaged enough as it is, so I would rather not destroy it further. Keys usually help in these situations.?

?It?s in me jacket.? Rousseau said.

?Where?s your jacket??

?I don?t know.?

?You?re so clever.?

?I guess me work?s cut out fer me then,? the rattess harrumphed. Rousseau stood up from her chair and brushed off the remaining food crumbs from her clothing. ?I?ll do it? but? ya gotta repay me.?

Alan raised an eyebrow. ?And how?s that??

Rousseau nodded to Willump?s still form. ?If he-?

?I?ll send for you.?

The rattess smiled. ?Thank ya, Alan? not jest fer that but? fer everythin?. I?m glad that me an? you were allies in this, however much I wanted t? strangle ya durin? every moment of it? but I?m happy t? call ya a? a friend.?

The mink?s ears perked at the word. ?You have a strange way of picking them then.?  He paused, and looked away.  "May the winds blow strong in your sails.  Or whatever the hell they say."

?Aye. Somethin? like that. May the Fates bless ya, Alan.?

Alan nodded. ?They better.? He extended his paw towards her.  Rousseau didn?t know what to make of the gesture. Was it a symbol of mutual respect? Friendship? Partnership? At this point, the rattess didn?t care and extended her own. The mink?s paw tensed for a moment, as if fearing her touch, and then relaxed as she took it within her own. For a moment, nothing happened, both beasts merely staring at each other as if waiting for the other to make the first action.

Then together they shook.

-.-.-

It had taken Rousseau nearly a half hour to convince the infirmary keepers to even allow the rattess outside of the room, let alone the time it took for them to allow her in the corridors or down the stairwells, but even still, after a long arduous journey, her side aching the whole way, she had finally found herself in front of the door to the room she knew so well. And somewhere inside, Mirdros was probably in some corner trying to get a grip on his current situation and bawling whenever he lost his pawhold. She knew the feeling well.

With some degree of reluctance, Rousseau?s claws curled around the doorknob and made to turn it, but as Alan had said, the knob made a distinct clink and didn?t budge. The rattess heard a shuffling inside. She sighed.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Her paw stopped and she waited for the response.

?Go ?way,? a tiny voice, muffled by tears, answered her knocking.

?Mirdros, I??

Her voice, the voice of the beast who slew the child?s father and ruined his life, must have struck some chord because something immediately smashed into the door with a crash. She prayed it wasn?t one of her paints. ?Go away!?

Rousseau knocked once more on the oaken door, her head held low as she traced the shadows under the doorframe with her eye. ?Mirdros, open the door. Please.?

?No.? A sniffle. ?What do you want??

?I want t? talk t? ya.?

?Well, I don?t. Go ?way.?

The rattess sighed and twisted at the doorknob again. So this is what it felt like to be her crew, locked out so that they couldn?t bother her. ?Ya know I ain?t jest gonna leave. I walked all o? way ?ere, I ain?t about t? walk away.?

?I ain?t opening it!? the voice piped out. ?Ain?t.? Alan hadn?t been joking when he said the Children feared he had been influenced by them. He was already talking like her.

Rousseau slumped down into a sit, leaning against the door for support. ?I guess I?ll be ?ere awhile then. ?Till ya get hungry or somethin?.?

The threat of starving him out, Rousseau learned, probably hadn?t been the best thing for her to say. Immediately upon the words leaving her mouth, she heard Mirdros erupt into a frenzy of tears and blubber in fear of what might happen to him. ?But-but I- don?t don?t wanna die an? your gonna keep me in here an? starve me til I?m hungry an? then your gonna kill me when I-I come out just like- like you killed my Da ?cause you?re a Demon Fiend, an? you?ll stick me inna pot an? eat me an? an? an?? I wan?t my Da!?

Rousseau spun to where she was on her knees and practically clawed at the doorknob. ?Mirdros, I ain?t gonna do that, alright? I promise. I ain?t gonna hurt ya, an? I sure as hell ain?t gonna kill ya. I know what yer feelin? right now. I know wot?s goin? through yer head an? what?s happenin?. I know how alone ya must feel right now, trust me, I?ve been through that, but I promise I would never hurt ya, not now or ever. I can bring ya food if ya wanna stay in there, I can, but please, it ain?t gonna help ya.?

?An? you?ll poison it! You?ll kill me!?

?No I won?t!?

?Yes, you will. You?re a Demon Fiend. You will, you will!?

?I promise I won?t!?

?Stop lying!? he shouted. His voice lowered and the crying seemed to stop for a moment. ?You Demon Fiend?s didn?t want me anymore so you were gonna give me back, but they wouldn?t take me and so you?re gonna kill me and-and- I just want my Da? He was gonna save me an? now he?s never coming back??

Rousseau ceased her attempts at clawing into the room and stared at the shadow of Mirdros she could see from beneath the door crack.

"Can you take it upon your soul to kill Mirdros's father in cold blood if the opportunity presents itself? Because I already have.?

?Aye.?

It had been so simple then, a simple desire for a settled score, and yet now? she had been selfish. She didn?t care about a child or leaving him without a father, the only thing that had mattered was killing Morleo. She had never thought that he would be deserted and abandoned. She had never?

?Mirdros,? Rousseau said, ?no he?s not. He ain?t ever comin? back. And it?s my fault. It?s my fault yer tribe left ya an? yer so scared right now. I know what it?s like t? be alone. I know how it feels. An? no matter what ya do, ya won?t get over that. Ya won?t trust beasts, ya won?t like ?em. You?ll think the world?s out t? get ya an you?ll think somethin?s wrong wish ya. Ya won?t be happy. An? it?s my fault. All of it.?

There was silence and then a click.

Rousseau didn?t force herself in; that would only scare him. Instead she waited on her knees for admission. The door cracked open and Mirdros? tiny, tearstained face poked out tentatively. ?You mean it??

She nodded. ?Aye.?

?And your not gonna kill me??

?No.?

?Cross your heart??

Rousseau made the motion over her chest with a claw. ?Cross me heart.?

?Hope to die??

?Hope t? die.?

The door opened fully and Rousseau shuffled inside, Mirdros watching her anxiously. She closed the door for him and then flicked over the lock. ?An? nobeast else will either.? She pushed aside the shattered remains of the wine bottle Mirdros had chucked at the door and glanced out the window. In the quick glance she saw the beasts, Kotir and Children alike, crowded upon the lawn. Among them she could make out Tobias and his team inspecting a wall and Chokk having what seemed to be a well-heated discussion with Kovari and Tirian with a cluster of woodlander slaves behind him. The rattess turned to where two owls stared at her from where they were perched on her easel. The still models of Clutus, perfect in every way, never blinked nor changed their saddened expression, the one she had worn when she created them.

Dark, mysterious, inviting, and, most of all, beautiful. They were the greatest things she had ever created.

Rousseau pushed herself onto her bed and leaned against the wall on a pillow. She beckoned for Mirdros to join her, his wide eyes peering deep into her just as much as Clutus?.

?Why?d you do it?? he asked.

Why? Rousseau hated that question. It was almost bipolar in context, so simple to answer in some cases yet so difficult in others, and it demanded so much from the beast who was supposed to respond to it. This was a case where it should have been easy, she had to defend Kotir and save Willump after all, but answering ?why? to a child was so different. There would be no way to answer it without him asking more questions, without confusion, or without tears or anger. ?Why? was the question of questions, and the answer could make or break a beast. In Mirdros? case, it would be hard to break him any further than he already was, but it would be just hard to fix him.

?Why?d you do it?? he repeated.

She blinked.

?I had to.?

?Why??

?He was gonna tear this place apart an? kill us all.?

?But why??

?We?re Demon Fiends like ya said. We took yer lake, we took you.?

?But, I could?ve saved you, I could?ve helped.? Rousseau saw the tears welling in his eyes. ?You could?ve surrendered and I-I could?ve told my Da not to.?

She smiled at him. ?That?s nice, Mirdros, but I don?t think it would have helped us any. I had t? fight. He took my friend an? I told myself that I wouldn?t ever let ?im down again. I told ?im I?d save ?im. I just didn?t think about wot could happen. I told myself that I could kill yer father, but I didn?t know that? they would desert ya.? Rousseau frowned. ?I know wot it?s like t? be alone an? it?s not a feelin? I want t? repeat. At first I thought I liked it better like that but, I was wrong. It ain?t good t? not have nobeast t? rely on or trust ya, t? not have a friend or a father, or a family fer that matter an? I?ve spread that feelin? t? you.

?I?m sorry,? Rousseau finished.

?But you killed him,? Mirdros blubbered. ?You killed him. You killed my Da.?

?I did. And I kin?t change that.?

Mirdros charged at her and crashed into the rattess? stomach, trying to pummel her with his small fists. ?You killed him, you killed him, you killed him?!?

Rousseau didn?t retaliate and let the child strike her over and over again. They didn?t hurt. It was the words that cut into her flesh like Morleo?s blade. ?I?m sorry.? She repeated the words after every painless blow, the same words Reginald had told her in his letter, the same words she had ignored, and the same words she hoped Mirdros wouldn?t.

Mirdros? punches slowed until they altogether stopped, replaced with only the tears that spilled from his wide eyes. The rat buried his face in Rousseau?s chest, babbling once again. ?He?s dead and he ain?t coming back. He ain?t comin? back. I want my Da.?

?I know, I know,? Rousseau mumbled, brushing a stray piece of dust from his fur. The rattess held him close, trying to comfort him, trying to simply do something.

?Imagine me doing it.?

She understood what Alan meant.

?You?ll be fine, you?ll be okay,? she whispered.

?But I?ll be alone. Nobeast wants me,? he blubbered.

He didn?t need somebeast like Alan. Mirdros needed somebeast like her. The mink knew it wasn?t he that the child needed but her, a beast who had gone through what he was experiencing. Her mind was made up.

?No, not entirely,? Rousseau said. ?I?ll be leavin? soon, in about a week or so when my crew?s injuries ?ave healed up an? we kin move out again. I don?t got nothin? left t? do ?ere, nothin? worth stayin? for, an? well, my crew could always use another member, no matter how little ?e is. Would ya like t? come with me??

Mirdros tore himself away from her chest and stared at her with widened eyes. ?What??

Rousseau continued. ?I kin teach ya things, lots o? things. I kin teach ya how t? sail an? how t? fight, all sorts o? different things. You?ll get t? ride in my ship, it?s a big one I kin tell ya that, an? I?ll show ya the ocean. I can take care o? ya, how does that sound? I ain?t tryin? t? replace yer Da, an? I understand if ya might say no, but, it?s? better ?an bein? alone. Anythin? is better. I used t? think the opposite, but a life ain?t worth livin? without some mates t? share it with. Wot d? ya say? Come with me??

Mirdros blinked. ?D-D-Do you mean it??

She nodded. ?Every word.?

?You?ll take me with you??

The idea of taking in the child of her former enemy, the beast he would and already did resemble was a thought she had never expected to have. She had been able to kill a child?s father, she had been able to leave him with nothing. Was this guilt? She didn?t know, nor did she care. Whe she looked into his teary eyes, she saw herself and Morleo in a single image. They were young and innocent, yet knew of the harshness of the world, and yet the shone brightly like his father?s. The spitting image.

Eyes were the windows of the souls and in his eyes she saw the thing she had sought after for so long, hope. In Morleo?s she had never seen that, just rage and anger, and maybe something else. Had it been fear? Fear of failure or fear of loss? It made them ugly, a portrait of ruin that held no beauty, no balance or contrast, just hate. She pitied him. But Mirdros, Mirdros? were like Clutus?, the most beautiful things the rattess had ever seen. They were so much like his fathers, the same bark brown color, the size and way they were slanted, and the emotions that reflected off their placid surface like the light shining from outside the window. Fear, sadness, anger, hate, only contrasted by the prominence of hope. His eyes were like hers, the one that was uncovered.

When she looked at Mirdros, it reminded her that, despite the fact that the world was ugly, she could find something beautiful, something worth living for. After all, something ugly could always be covered up. With an eye patch for instance.

?I won?t ever be able t? replace yer Da or be yer mum, but? I won?t leave ya behind,? Rousseau answered. ?Ya might never forgive me fer wot I did, nobeast deserves that fate, not you, not my crew, not even yer Da. I wouldn?t want anybeast t? leave me, so I won?t leave you.?

The dam holding back Mirdros? tears cracked and one rolled down his cheek. ?Y-Y-Y-You mean it??

?Aye.?

He wiped it away. ?Rosy? What does ?aye? mean? Does it mean yes??

Rousseau nodded. ?Well, I don?t know wot it means in this ?Gates forsaken place? from where I?m from, aye, it does.?

The dam shattered and the river of salty rivers finally broke free from the pressure. The child sobbed and pressed himself against her chest once more. The rattess curled her arms around him and pulled him closer, showing him the comfort she had always longed for herself. It felt better this way.

The rattess watched as the sun outside descended to the horizon and day began to leave to be replaced by night. Mirdros stayed in her arms, crying until he had eventually fallen asleep some hours later. Rousseau blinked as the moon rose upwards from behind the trees she loved so much.

Tapap pap. Click.

The door of her room opened slowly and Calder stepped in, carrying a key in one paw and a tattered blue naval jacket and a rapier in the other.

?Sorry,? he said, ?didn?t mean t? barge in. I found yer jacket though, an? yer sword on some dead rat. I thought ya might want ?em.? The cook closed the door and deposited his burden on a chair by her easel.

?It?s fine,? Rousseau said readjusting Mirdros on her lap.

?Is that-?

?Aye, he?s comin? with us,? Rousseau answered.

?I figured as much. That mink told me what ya were tryin? t? do.?

She nodded. ?Is Will okay??

?Aye, he?s awake. Doctors said it was a miracle he even survived let alone woke up. I guess Vulpuz didn?t think it was ?is time yet.?

The rat didn?t know how right he was. ?That?s good news,? she said, smiling.

?Aye. I came ?ere t? get ya if ya wanted t? see fer yerself.?

Rousseau looked up but shook her head. ?As much as I want to, I can?t. Not now. Tell ?im I?ll be there in the mornin?, that I?m busy finishin? somethin? that needs t? be taken care of. I got a job t? do an? I kin?t leave it yet, not ?til I know it?s done.? The rattess looked at Mirdros. ?He?s like me, Cal. An? right now, I can?t afford t? leave ?im. It?s my job now. He?ll understand.?

?Do ya need any help??

?No, not this time,? Rousseau answered. ?Go keep Will company fer me. He could use it.?

Calder nodded and turned.

?Cal, wait!?

?Hmm?? He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

?Thank ya? fer not lettin? go.?

?I promised ya didn?t I?? he said.

?I didn?t think ya-?

?Rouss,? Calder replied. ?We don?t hate ya. Some of us actually like ya a tad an? me, well, I kinda like ya too. A bit more than others.? He paused. ?Maybe I love ya, I dunno.?

Rousseau nodded. ?I had a beast say that t? me once. Yer not gonna cut out me eye are ya??

?No. O? course not,? the cook said. ?Wot about me? Do ya care about me??

?I wanted t? hold yer paw durin? the whole battle. I wanted ya t? be there with me. I wanted t? hear ya, t? know you were okay. You, Will, everybeast. I jest,? she said, ?aye, I guess so. You?ve been there fer me an?? yer better ?an ?im.?

The other rat nodded. She could see the smile on his face. ?Take care o? that mite, ?e?s the only beast who seems t? love my cookin?.?

?Keep Will company. Get ?im t? sleep some.?

?O? course.? With a nod of his head, Calder made to leave but stopped. ?Maybe when we get back t? Terramort, we could??

Rousseau nodded. ?Aye, I?d like that. Just us four? Me, you, Mirdros, an? Will??

Calder returned the nod. ?Get some sleep too, ya need it. I?ll send ya a big breakfast tomorrow. Big enough fer four, how does that sound??

Rousseau smiled.

?Perfect.?