Reviews Schmeviews

[Balmafula]

Nooo! Don't stop believing reviewing! We really appreciate you, really we do.

What's the point of reviewing without discussion? Different people have different opinions, and we just want to talk about how we feel. That doesn't mean we're shunning or rejecting you, we just want to discuss different view points. You shouldn't have to feel afraid of saying what you think - but neither should we. It is nothing against you personally. You're awesome! We need reviewers, especially now when the forum has turned eerily quiet. Without reviews we have no idea what anybody's thinking.

Should you give us honest reviews with critiques? Yes. Will we necessarily agree with everything in it? No. Does that make it any less legit? No, it's something we need to hear and discuss in the open. Does it mean we don't respect you? Of course not.

I bring up my points and objections in everyone's review threads. It's because I really enjoy the discussion. I'm passionate about these characters and I want to talk about it. I don't want to shut you down or make you feel bad, and I'm sure nobody else does either.

[TNT]

There's discussion, which is how things were going, which was awesome, and I like that too. And then there's getting jumped on every time I say something not glowingly positive about one character in particular, and feeling like I missed the boat and they're supposed to be my favorite evar too. Case in point: got jumped on last time I reviewed Nyika, and the only even remotely "negative" thing I said was that her post was a little on the fluffy side. Even though I then said that she couldn't help it, given when her post was taking place. I dunno, I just think, y'know, life is starting to imitate art a little too much, if you catch my drift. Nyika's a big girl (or boy, I suppose?). Let her defend herself. Or just take my reviews with a grain of salt and move on, because obviously my opinion is not The Opinion of the Contest. Seeing as how I thought Risk was definitely safe last week, and he wasn't. I'm only one voice. I only have one vote. I don't mind discussing differences of opinion as they arise, but I won't tolerate having words put in my mouth. Nor will I tolerate having to rebut every single review I make to several people, because honestly? I just don't have that kind of time. Or energy. I don't HAVE to review. There is no obligation. I review simply because I want to. I can start or stop any time I like.

I know it's not just Nyika that's brought on a lengthy discussion. She just tends to have the most devoted followers. Which is fine! But I just don't like being made to feel like I've like. Done something wrong by not being 100% in love with her posts. Especially since up until this last post, I rather liked Nyika (and no, I don't hate her). But I was still getting the vibe that I didn't like her ENOUGH. I haven't even read the other posts yet. I don't even know who I'm going to vote for. I just didn't think my one little review was worth the fuss, especially since I was basically asked to please continue. And I'm sorry for putting Nyika on the spot so much right now. It's not your fault.

[TNT]

I will also say this: The problem with these contests as opposed to books is that with books, if you're iffy on a plot point or two, you can wait until you've read the entire book before passing judgment. With these contests, you can't really do that unless you never want to vote. We only get little bits of the story at a time, and we can't read ahead. That's why I feel like you almost need to be a little bit heavy-handed with foreshadowing, so the audience knows for sure that you're going somewhere with something, and to hopefully keep them from voting for you because they want to know more. :P

Anyway, I will keep on reviewing. I'm trying to stay as positive and upbeat as possible, honest! And there are quite a few things I haven't brought up because they're just too nitpicky, I promise. You guys are all really great. Your writing is just. It's all good. Even when I say a post is not my favorite, or I don't like it as much, it doesn't at all mean that it's not written well. But I have to find someone to vote for, as hard as it is. XD

[Gashrock]

:gashrock: : I ain't much of a beast for talkin' with re-vyu-wers, on account of that one time, with the...well Dewhurst'd remember that night a bit better than me, I reckon. So I just wanted to thank you for stickin' with us, even if I ain't sayin' much, I really am app-reeshitive of yer efforts.

Same goes for the rest of you who are followin' along. Even if yer keepin' yer claps shut, yer at-tenshin's much valued, and I reckon I'm speakin' for the rest of us as well. So thanks again for yer efforts, now and in perpe--perpy--preppy--the future.

[TNT]

Thanks, Gashrock. I hope my reviews can be at least somewhat helpful at times. Mmkay, I'm finally home and semi-coherent, so...have some mini reviews/thoughts on the characters I didn't review yet before next week starts. If you want me to expand, just say so. I just kind of fell behind, and I'm busy this weekend as well, so. Yeah!


Vanessa - You're definitely the dark horse of this competition. You neither steal the show nor fade into the background. Your posts are solidly and consistently good. They don't blow me away, but they're very good. Basically, I think you'll go far.

Noonahootin - Just when I was starting to think we'd seen all we were really going to see of Noonahootin, you surprised me! I just really liked what you did in terms with character relationships this week. I'm looking forward to what else you have in store.

Poko - I think this was definitely your best post so far. I finally got my Istvan/Poko "thievery" scene, and it was very well written and creepy. I do actually agree with carelesswhisper that Poko acts a lot younger than her age, and she put into words a lot of what I was feeling but couldn't really articulate, but writing young characters is hard. And some people out there never do seem to mature much past the age of seven, sadly. :P

Zevka - Like Nooners, I was fairly certain we'd seen all of Zevka that we were going to, and I was pleasantly surprised that she DIDN'T go into Debating Smugly Mode for once. Please please please, more posts like this. I loved the way she and Noonahootin made up. It was very awkward and cute. I like seeing new sides of Zevka.

Gashrock - Oh Gashy, you are one of my favorites, but as good as you are, it's hard to ignore the fact that your last two posts didn't really do much to advance the plot, like others have said. Now, don't get me wrong, "The Snow Queen" was brilliant, and one post here and there that doesn't progress the plot much isn't all bad, because hey, a story's got to have a bit of flavor, doesn't it? But two in a row, I dunno...I know Gashrock's not really the type to be a leader, but just...if you survive the tie-breaker, I want to see her more actively involved. Pretty much what everyone else has said already.

Istvan - I wasn't sure about Istvan at first. I loved his app, but his start in the contest was a wee bit shaky, in my opinion. However, I feel like he's finally picking up momentum, and I like that he's taking a much more active role in the story now, with leading the party into the tunnel and such. I felt like before he was in charge, but much more concerned about doing his own thing with his religion than doing much leading. I feel like you're finally finding a good balance of religious kookiness and being integral to the story.

[TNT]

So...August has been a really busy month for me. On top of that, my job has been unnecessarily stressful of late; sadly, a coworker I've worked with for the last three years even quit, due to the same reasons I have wanted to for several months now...but can't, obviously, because bills, student loans, etc. But it's not all bad! My second job is going very well, for what it is. Selling handmade Sculpey ornaments at a coffee shop on the coast, and I just can't seem to keep the things fully stocked for more than two seconds! Which means a lot of evenings and days off have been spent a-Sculpeying of late. Not super lucrative work, but infinitely more fun and rewarding. :)

ANYWAY. I found a bit of available time and there are some posts up to review. I'm gonna just stick to doing brief thoughts for now, though.

Poko - Your post (and it's been so long since it and the rest were put up I had to go peruse it again to refresh my memory) had great pacing. It felt tense. I still don't agree that people-sized yarn would stop a people-sized bird, unless the harfang is meant to be as small as she is to people...meaning she wouldn't be of a threatening size at all. I don't know, that probably didn't make sense at all, but it makes sense in my head. I guess it depends on how you view relative size in the Redwall world; I imagine beasts and birds as being roughly people-sized, the variances in their species' sizes not as great as they are in our world. Anyway, I'm rambling, and it's not the main point of my review at all and I'm not gonna argue with anyone about it, so blah. It was a unique idea, regardless of its feasibility, and for that I applaud you. Finally, are tone and word choice far more effective in conveying excitement and urgency than a ton of unnecessary punctuation marks??? Yes. :P

Gashrock - As mad as I want to be at the audience for voting you out, I can't really fault them for it. Even the first post this week didn't have much more than dialogue. It was well-written though, so well-written. Your death post had more action, though, so I know you're capable of it. Maybe you just never get good enough opportunities or something. I dunno! Really sad, though. Going to miss your opening lines like crazy. :(

Vanessa - Again, another solid post that didn't floor me, but didn't disappoint me either. Maybe you're just being safe? I don't know. Your posts are good, but somehow not super memorable for me. Not sure why that is. Sorry I can't be more helpful. XP

Nyika - This post started very well, but has raised a host of questions for me. However, I won't bring them up here, because I really don't want to argue again, and there's a good chance I won't find the answers satisfactory anyway. I will say that this post is an improvement on last week's, though. And I hope these questions will be answered in the weeks to come, depending on how the audience votes, of course. Per the author's request, I shall do a more in-depth review via PM.

Zevka - I feel like Zevka's finally starting to develop from something more than a smart-mouthed, has-to-have-the-last-word-in-every-argument-ever marten, which is exactly what I wanted. She broke down and had her best friend turn against her. I liked her vulnerability in this. Like I said to Poko, though, y u use excessive punctuation?!? ;_;

Noonahootin - I'm puzzled as to why a father would condone the killing of a young child, which I guess makes more sense as to why I was surprised to hear he was a father in the first place. Noonahootin's character just feels rather inconsistent at times, but the writing is good. This post felt very slow, though. It spent a whole lot of time dealing with his wing, which just seemed...squicky, for squickiness's sake. It didn't really do it for me, but there's something noble and good about Noonahootin that makes me not want to give up on him so quickly.

Istvan - The plot thickens! Great pacing here. Um. Um. I dunno what else to sayyyy. I like Istvan a lot. I like that he's developing relationships with the others now, and his religion isn't as much of a focal point. I feel sad though, like Goragula is being set up for a perfect death, since he's yet to appear.

Goragula - Can we expect a post from you by the end of voting? I'm going to be really sad if ANOTHER of my favorites goes. I really don't want to vote for you even if you don't post, though. The group needs an antagonist, and I can't imagine you not in the storyyyyyy. ;_;

[TNT]

Oh, and I almost forgot:

"To the left," the ghostly voice told her.

Goragula, you monster! You killed Beyonce!!!

[TNT]

Also, I know they're not technically official story posts or anything (though I really do enjoy the reviews they've been getting! ^^), I'm sorry my interlude is so dinky this week. It was about half of what I wanted to write, but, y'know, life. I shall definitely cover more next week.

So, I'm assuming it's safe to assume that we won't be seeing a post from Graggy this week? Normally that would mean automatic death vote from me, but...I can't do it. I just can't. I can't vote for someone when I've essentially had nothing bad to say about any of their posts. Their body of work overall is strong enough to save them from my wrath, and please please please let it be enough to save them from the rest of the audience! I'm seriously, you guys. Don't kill Graggy. Pleeeease! Or I'll throw my mean cat at your face. :P

OH! ALSO. Are any eliminated contestants going to start any reveal/guessing threads?? I wanna know who you aaaaarrrrre!

[Gashrock]

Well er. I were gonna wait for Cookie to go first, see, on account of he's been de-seased a bit more. Only he ain't started no thread. Don't want to rush nobeast, so I'll see how things go.

[TNT]

Oh! Right. I didn't reply to this yet. XD

Well, I guessed Risk like ages ago anyway. Like I think before I read the actual app, like just in the basic info. And, okay, I've probably correctly guessed like half of you anyway, but I have no idea who Gashy was. Reveal thread! Reveal thread! Whoop whoop whoop! Risk's had long enough to do his anyway, and I promise I can participate in more than one at once! Pretty please! :P

[TNT]

A'ight. You guys deserve some proper reviews from me this week.

Valley of Shadow - Nyika

Dun dun duuun, Goragula disappears into the earth! Suspense! Danger! And...oh, no, he's okay, and Nyika saves him.

"He has too much honor in him,"

"No, you will not," Nyika said, a little more forcibly than she liked. She softened her tone. "Stay here, with Poko. It is all I ask of you."

I don't understand why Nyika's way of speaking has suddenly gotten super formal. It seems like it's changed a lot from her app. I think I liked her better when she was more petulant and pouty and...teenagery? It's just hard for me to picture a teenager talking like that. Even one that sees dead beasts. I know she's smart and she's been through a lot, but. I dunno. It doesn't quite do it for me.

Also, she's supposed to be really smart, but she doesn't immediately see all the obvious signs that the stoats are dead? It was really sad that the one stoat was pregnant, though. And I like that she does something nice for Poko and kind of patches up their rocky relationship. And what would an abandoned temple be without a nonsensical riddle or two??


Invisible Things are the Only Realities - Noonahootin

Scuffling awkwardly around in his splinted talon, the cracked and uneven flooring of the room caused him to trip and bump into the wall.

That's very passive. Or did the floor come to life and make him trip? ;)

I love that you finally explained why he has such a ridiculous name. That was cute. And the plot thickens with the discovery of the nest! But this is the first in a line of decidedly Nyika-centric posts this week. Nyika is everywhere this week. I have to commend Nyika for playing the game well, at least, even if her posts haven't been my favorite. Working your character into being the focus of a lot of posts is the way to go far in a contest like this, because it makes you integral, and, before too long, if you play your cards just right, indispensable to the plot.

As for this post, arghleblargh, I WANT to love Noonahootin so much. He is such an interesting and endearing character, but for whatever reason, your writing has failed to really pull me in thus far. I don't particularly know why, or what the solution is, either, which is even more frustrating to me. I feel like while I'm being told I should feel all sorts of feels for Noonahootin, I'm not inspired to actually feel them organically. If that makes any sense at all. ;_;


Ugly Hell, Gape Not! - "Goragula"

I don't have toooo much to say about this post, only that I'm sad Goragula couldn't continue on. He was one of my favorites, and I think he easily could've won the whole thing. He was truly evil, and that is becoming such a rarity in these contests! It's also a rare thing when a contestant dies because every other character is out for their blood. It's also a rare thing when I barely have any critiques for a contestant's posts, to the point that even their lack of a post doesn't make me want to vote for them. Such a shame. :\


Jeepers Peepers - Poko

Thank you for dealing with her toe. That has been bothering me ever since Gashrock stitched it. I knew there was no way that was going to heal properly. It was a little thing (literally), but I'm glad you didn't have it magically heal itself.

And we have a new NPC! Takis...Tak...iss? Takos? Tacos? Mmm, tacos. It's a stumbly name, sure, but I like the character as he's been shaped throughout the week. He's definitely not flat and boring.

?Ah wouldnae sae we dae. Nae any who Ah?d troost tae ken wot tae dae.?

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you did not read Vanessa's lines out loud to yourself when writing them. It's okay, accents are hard. ^^

Takis leaned over and studied Poko?s toe. Unlike the stoats in their white wintery coats, Poko?s fur was thick and black. Takis wondered if such colors as green or red would be visible, but as he parted the fur carefully he saw the ferret?s skin was actually pink beneath.

Oopsie, another random POV switch.

The two young weasel-types

So like...mustelids?

In general, though, I like the direction Poko is going. She's really starting to show serious depth as a character. Keep up the good work! :)


Discoveries - Zevka

More Nyika screen time, being crazy and weird, as is becoming the norm. XD

Also, surprise, Nyika has a connection with another contestant, as she maybe is maybe isn't but obviously is Mekad's sister. Nyika, gwurl, you did this thang right.

Unfortunately, I wasn't fond of the direction Zevka took this week. She became strangely sappy and sentimental and just...not at all like her formal self. I was happy when you toned down her snark and argumentative nature, but I feel like you've almost gone too far in the other direction. You had a good balance going before!

Dammit, Nessa! Either one of us could die out here at any moment! There isn't any time for this! The marteness had wanted to scream at the otter. I'm sorry about Gypsumfur, I'm sorry about what I said about culling the moles, I'm sorry about all of it! Will you please just be my friend again?

"Because you're my friend, Nyika, and I'm worried about you."

"Poko, please don't ever change. The world has more than enough beasts like me in it. It could use more like you."

"What do you mean?" Poko asked.

"What I mean is that I've spent a lot of my life trying to be some kind of big power player -- either the adviser to a major warlord, or a rich puller of strings. And if that meant a life full of plotting and violence, then so be it." The marteness looked pensive for a bit. "But being out here, where any of us could die at any moment, is making me realize that maybe that's not what I really want out of life after all. I'm sick of beasts trying to kill me -- I don't intend to get out of this mess only to have some future rival stick a knife between my ribs over the fact that he wants to be on top of the hill, and I'm in the way."

The marteness pulled a wry face. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not looking to run off and become a farmer anytime soon. If there's one thing I've learned about this world, it's that you can never take it for granted that nobeast is going to try to kill you, or take what belongs to you and yours, and if you aren't strong enough to stop them, then you have to just suffer through it. But...I think there's something to be said for caring more about being happy than being the strongest or the most powerful.

So, she's sentimental and emotional one moment, and at the end of the post, she's back to her smirky, snarky self. I liked her way of solving the riddle, as it's proooobably what I would've done in that situation. But I just still feel like I don't really know who Zevka is. I know plenty about her, certainly, but I just don't quite get where she's coming from, what motivates her to act the way she does from one situation to the next. It's kind of the same problem I have with Noonahootin, really. I feel like I'm being told how I should feel about Zevka, but I'm not really feeling it organically. I dunno! But snarky female mustelids always go far, so you're probably safe regardless. XP


Israphael - Istvan

I was pretty surprised that Istvan had zero reverence for the temple, actually.

Hey look, Nyika's in this post in a big way, too! And she's being craaaaazy! And she's Risk's family but she's putting the mark he put on beasts that Risk killed and. Wot? Okay. Sure. So, how 'bout them riddle solvings, then? I'm glad you guys didn't drag out the riddles too much, but they were a fun way to pass the week.

I feel bad because I never have a ton to say about your posts. It's not that I don't enjoy them--I do!--I just plain never have much to say. There's not much that happens that particularly stands out to me. If there's a certain aspect you want me to go over, just ask!


Valkyrie - Vanessa

the Yew Guard slipped from shadow to shadow like an invisible breeze.

Carefully, Nessa spat on her paws and scaled the rock nimbly, settling herself into a little hollow at the top. She almost sniggered at the ermine carrying on below her, completely unaware of her presence.

Before they could draw arms, before they could even shout, the ottermaid was among them like a vengeful whirlwind

They took one look at the snarling face, clenching paws, and blood-suffused eyes of the dreadful apparition before them and fled as one beast.

But Nessa was unstoppable,

Right besides her, a geyser sprung to life- she was gone before the boiling water could even fall. She didn?t even notice when her paws slapped across a sinkhole, so quickly the oozing mud did not even have time to stick.

Am I correct in assuming that you went way overboard with these stock unbeatable warrior phrases to heavily contrast the end of the post, where Vanessa loses her paw and thinks she's lost the ability to fight? (There's always hooks, though. Just sayin'. :P) Because if not, hoh boy did it feel a bit over the top, to me at least. I guess your posts have felt pretty canon so far, though, and dear Mr. Jacques (may he rest in peace) did love him some unstoppable warriors. So I guess in that regard, it's consistent with canon. I still felt like it was a little much.

The ermine went like the wind, their white fur blending in maddeningly with the snow all around.

How does fur blend maddeningly? Was it angrily as white as the snow? Was it matching the exact shade with a vengeance?

...Or did you mean to say that their fur was blending with the snow, and that that fact (perfectly benign and emotionless on its own) caused Vanessa to be angry? ;)

Yeah, if Nessa is losing body parts for Zevka...well.

**SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP**

But seriously, I don't know if I'd give my hand for someone I'd only known for like. A few weeks? Correct me if I'm wrong there. It seemed a little excessive and not in character. Vanessa, to me, is someone who MEANS well but in the end tends to live a bit selfishly. Well, no, a LOT selfishly. I mean, I LIKE that this is going to make her turn a major corner in terms of how she defines herself and her sense of self worth (like seriously, that is risky and AWESOME and I applaud you for taking the risk), but I think it might have just made more sense to have her lose it in combat or something. I dunno! This whole post felt a little...off. Plus, there were a lot of sloppy SPAG errors. It just didn't feel like as much care went into this post as your previous ones, which I have really enjoyed.

?I command the water of the earth, as the ones of old used  Come forth!?

It was Poko but Nessa had only a glimpse of the young ferret?s wide-open and anguished eyes before the little thief curled herself back into a tight ball.

The others did not wake: Noonahootin?s ear tufts quivered briefly and Zev?s large tail twitched as did Nyika?s ears but the weight of the day?s nerve-wracking trek lay heavily on everybeast?s slumber.

[TNT]

Oh, and some thoughts on the overall week, too. That might be nice. Overall, I liked it! I thought it was paced well, and since I know soooooooooome of the big secrets to come, I really enjoyed the riddles and the temple. It really adds to Carrigul's nastiness. I thought just about everyone had some major development this week. Even if I don't always say it, I really am enjoying the story. Voting has consistently been a tough decision every single week. There's never been a week where I've finished reading and immediately said, "Welp, so-and-so is gonna feel my wrath this week." :P

Anyhoo, just couldn't have asked for a better bunch of writers to represent the comeback of survivor contests. Is what I'm really trying to say here. ^^

[TNT]

Yeah, I suck at reviewing. It is true. Plus now, I'm slightly more involved with plotting so it's a little weird. But I guess if even Rara is reviewing now, that is not a valid excuse! Hahah. So have this place-card review in lieu of, y'know, actual ones. Which I will get around to at some point.

Can I Really Be the Hero? - Nyika

I CAN BE YOUR HERO, BABY!
I CAN KISS AWAY THE PAIN!
I WILL STAND BY YOU FOREVER!
YOU CAN TAKE MY BREATH AWAY!

(I'm sorry. I CAN'T NOT SING THAT OBNOXIOUSLY IN MY HEAD WHENEVER I READ THE TITLE. I'M SO SORRYYYY.)

[Nyika]

Ooh, what song is this? I had something else in mind when I picked the title.

[TNT]

Just a horrifyingly awful one from my high school days, long, long ago. XD