Pascal's Wager

[Zevka]

After the group received the unfortunate news about the wagons, Poko's stomach growled expressively, Vanessa swore quietly and Nyika looked even more forlorn than she had been. Zevka stretched a bit, and rotated her arm a few times, trying to work some of the soreness out of her muscles. Supporting Risk and the added weight of a dead rat was more strain than her arm was used to. She sighed.

?Okay, so how do we get some fresh food before we use up what little we have left?" the marteness asked. "We need something that either has, once had or is going to have a pulse, too. Most of us can't survive on just plants and preserved bread. I've read about what happens to beasts that try it. It isn't pretty.?

Zevka gave a slightly disconcerting smile as the contents of her book on the doomed Elmfang Expedition came back to her. ?Lots of teeth falling out, senses going wrong, weird smells as your body breaks down parts of itself to keep you alive  ? and that's not the worst it gets.?

?Thanks. Appreciate your sunny outlook on life,? Poko drawled from the other end of the group.

Zevka rolled her eyes. ?I'm just being realistic!?

?We could lure in some birds,? Risk suggested.

All eyes immediately turned to Noonahootin, expecting the owl to immediately object. However, the anticipated reaction was not forthcoming.

Noonahootin looked at Zevka with a light furrowing of his brow, amber eyes neither kind nor particularly malicious. The owl took on an air of stoicism as he considered first the pine marten and then the rest of the group, examining each and every face as though peering into darkness. When he sighed, it was deep and resigned, as though he was conceding an argument.

?As it stands, I cannot eat the flesh  of my own kind. It is just as though you were given the option of eating your neighbour or cousin,? the owl stated matter-of-factly. ?You must eat, I understand. We all must. However, I would ask you, should you...have no other option than to, hmph, hunt, please do not eat in front of me. Do not cook your meal within range of my smell, either, please. I will depart to a safe distance if it helps.?

There was a moment of awkward silence -- apparently, nobeast really wanted to talk about eating birds anymore.

Sure, he SAYS it's alright...but let's face it, do any of us want to upset a giant owl? I'd normally love a woodpigeon, but it just doesn't seem worth the risk...

?Well, since that seems to pose a problem, how about this: ice fishing!? Zevka was pleased to see a fairly positive response to her idea. ?I know it's too cold for lakes to be uncovered, but under the ice there should be some liquid water. If we can cut through it, we can get to the water and the fish.?

?There was a patch of ice that I saw a short distance to our east,? Noonahootin responded. ?We could get there quickly enough to do some fishing and then come back here, if we so choose. ?

?How far is a 'short' distance and is it really short for us wot can't fly?? Gashrock asked with evident skepticism.

Noonahootin looked at Gashrock with a hint of condescension. ?I have spent my life working with beasts who cannot fly. I am quite certain the journey is within our capabilities.?

?Ah reckon fish is just the thing for all of us ? we kin all eat it and nae get sick, and ye've got me tae swim 'em down.? Nessa's mood seemed to have brightened. ?An' Mister Inkface 'ere could help oot as well. Right, Istvan??

Istvan's reaction was a good deal less positive than Vanessa's. The otter made a noncommittal gesture. ?The Mother has been generous in her gifts to our kind.?

?I guess that settles it, then,? Zevka said decisively.

Noonahootin transitioned smoothly into what was surely a familiar role for him. ?We should leave as soon as possible, to make sure we have as much daylight as we can. Take only what you need for the day. We shouldn't burden ourselves too heavily.?

It took the party a surprisingly short amount of time to get ready to go, especially given that many of them had had a far from relaxing night. The prospect of a hot, fresh meal of fish crackling over an improvised fire as bits of fat melted off of it was apparently good motivation. Still, some beasts were faster on the uptake than others, and Zevka wound up pacing back and forth impatiently, glancing up at the sky every so often as she waited for everybeast to finish.

?Zevka, mebbe ye should siddown, noo? Keep on doin' that an' ye'll wear another 'ole in the mountain.?

The marteness paused at Nessa's words.

?Sorry, I just don't like staying around here so long when we know that either somebeast is messing with us, or that the ground is prone to caving in. I also don't like being out in the middle of nowhere this long! The things I like -- books, damson wine, theatres, little hordebeast figurines that I can force to fight battles against other little hordebeast figurines -- you know what these things have in common? You don't find any of them in the middle of the mountains!"

"Don't think there's anybeast 'ere who dinnae want to be back in town, Zevka," Ness pointed out. "I could go fer a nice table at the Twisted Pine right now, too."

Zevka sighed. "I know...and it's not like we're the only beasts this has ever happened to. There was this warlord named Wrexholm a long time ago. He found himself surrounded on all sides, with the "impassable" Whitespire Mountains behind him. He led his army into the Whitespires, and marched it across them for most of a season. Enough lived to come out of the mountains and flank the enemy."

"How did he do it? Do you remember anything useful?" Poko asked.

Zevka frowned in concentration. "Unfortunately, I haven't read the book about Wrexholm since I was 16. Hmm. I do remember that he thought it was very important to keep morale up. Insisted that beasts eat together, did real funerals for beasts who died...he even had them put on a play or two."

"Ye don' say..." Gashrock the rat had finished her own packing and come over to listen.

"It gave them something to do. They'd practice every night, gather things together to make costumes. I think they did Dead as a Dormouse and The Corsairs' Booty. Wrexholm himself even got in on it -- he played Brownblood the Drunkard. Apparently, this was a huge hit, since Wrexholm was normally a bit of a stiff."

Zevka noticed a gleam come into Gashrock's eye.

Finally, the entire party was ready to go. They set off for the ice patch that Noonahootin had seen, moving at a fairly brisk pace motivated by cold and hunger. Some beasts, however, clearly had other things on their minds then food. Nyika and Poko both trudged along behind the rest of the party, and before too long, Zevka and Nessa had slowed themselves down enough to close the distance with the two youngest group members.

The pine marteness noted Nyika staring off into the distance as she walked, a slight frown on her face. Zevka walked over and put her paw on the cat's shoulder.

?Whatever you see out there, Nyika, don't let it frighten you. You're here, you're alive, you're safe. Try to focus on keeping it that way.?

?I'm feeling just fine today. Thanks for asking,? Poko broke in, scowling slightly. The little ferret had lagged behind Zevka, Nessa and Nyika for a bit, but moved to catch up with them.

Zevka chose to ignore the frown on Poko's masked little face. ?I'm glad to hear that, Poko. Are you hungry?? The marteness unshouldered her pack as she walked. ?I have a few crickets left. They don't really keep well past a few days, and I bought them right as we were setting out. They need to be eaten now.?

She gestured to Nessa and Nyika to come over as well. The others were pointedly not included in the invitation. Each recipient got at least two crickets, with a third for Poko and Nyika.

?You and I both had some before, Nessa,? Zevka offered by way of explanation. ?Besides, those two look like they could use more food. Especially you, Nyika. You're too skinny!?

Nyika shrugged her shoulders. "I get by."

?What about the others?? Nessa asked, though her hungry glance belied the selfless statement.

?These aren't from the group stockpile, and if I split them with the whole group, that's barely a snack. The way I see it, I might as well give them to beasts I actually like. I'd rather give you two than waste one on Istvan,? Zevka said matter-of-factly.

Nessa flashed a quick smirk at Istvan, popping the crickets into her mouth and chewing slowly.

?Thanks, Zevka,? the otter said.

Poko's mood seemed to brighten a little bit as she enjoyed the mixture of sweetness and protein. The ferret's ear twitched.

"So...what sorts of things did you do in your horde? Did you fight any battles? Did you ever kill anybeast?? Poko asked Zevka eagerly.

Zevka suppressed a chuckle, reminded of a little marteness who had once asked the same question of older beasts. Then her eyes flickered to Nessa, who, although clearly grateful for the crickets, suddenly looked uncomfortable again.

So...need to be gory enough for Poko, but tidy enough for Nessa. Sounds like a plan...

?Well, it's not quite like you hear about in stories. Like I said, a lot of the time, we were just running a kingdom, and keeping the peace, not that differently from the Yew Guard. Still, I've seen a few battles in my time. We had a big brigand problem, a couple of other kingdoms trying to take our territory, and then, of course, there was...? Zevka broke off suddenly.

Scat, I forgot...best not to mention Redwall...

?There were lots of other dangers. Never a dull moment. I'm lucky to have got through it with all of my parts still on. Worst I ever had happen to me was a few cuts and so forth.?

?But...ye really dinnae have slaves or pillage townsbeasts, right?? Nessa asked, with a hint of urgency.

?Of course we didn't have slaves!? Zevka sniffed. ?We weren't that backwards! In fact, I helped make sure that we never did!?

?Are ye sure??

?I'm sure. No slaves for Stekpo's horde!? Zevka said, nodding vigorously.

Why would anybeast want slaves when they can just pay poor villagers to build things? Paid beasts don't rebel, you don't have their friends and family attacking you, and you only pay for them when you actually need something. Why is this so hard for a lot of hordes to figure out?

?Were you a warrior? Or a captain, like Cookie?? Poko asked.

?Hmm. Not really either one, I suppose. I was more of an adviser, really, but there were others, too. I spent a lot of my time with Mekad trying to get things a little more modern around there ? we thought that Mekad was going to inherit it, but...well, that didn't work out the way we had planned.?

?So...ye weren't really doin' anythin' too bad. 'An I'm sure there werenae a lot of other choices,? Nessa said, as much to herself as to Zevka.

?The All Mother gives us all the same choice: to live as honest beasts should live, or to suffer the consequences. A simple choice, and yet it terrifies so many beasts.? Istvan had made his way back towards the four females, and took the opportunity to inject himself into the conversation.

Nessa frowned at the other Guard. ?Who asked ye tae shove yer werd in, Istvan? Ah've seen yer 'consequences'; they're nae how me Da taught me ta be a guard.?

?I am a priest of true faith of the All-Mother. I have a sacred duty to uphold her will in this world, despite everybeast's attempts to the contrary. I must never miss an opportunity to enthusiastically display my commitment to the most sacred of duties.?

Zevka rolled her eyes openly, hoping that Istvan might take the hint. Unfortunately, Poko undercut this effort by offering the one bait no fanatic could resist: an interested audience.

?Enthusiastic displays? Like what - some sorta dance??

?Returning the blood of sinners to the purifying embrace of the Mother, usually.? Istvan replied.

?Returning blood of whowhatnow? Who're "sinners" and what's the embrace?? Poko's curiosity was clearly piqued.

?Poko...don't encourage him,? Zevka said, a note of warning in her voice.

Istvan glared at Zevka, then turned back to Poko. ?You do not know about sin? Do you understand right and wrong??

"Uh....sorta? I think. You mean like...it ain't right that rich beasts walk all over poor beasts and take what they want? Or like...it's wrong to kick a kit for no good reason??

?That's a good start. There are few sins worse than cruelty to kits; they are the Mother's most precious creation. So whenever a beast commits a sin, there is a price, you see. The Mother gives herself unto us in the gift of life, and by using this gift for evil acts you profane the essence of the Mother within you. Therefore the gift of life must be returned to her in the form of the lifeblood to be purified. Those who use all they have been given for evil do not deserve to keep it.?

Poko looked thoughtful. ?Yeah, life's definitely a gift. My Papa taught me that. You just gotta live it full. But I guess your Mother gets all our lives back in the end no matter how we are. Even yours. No one's perfect and everyone dies.?

?When you die, your soul is given an eternal reward based on how you have lived. You can either exist within the love of the Mother, or in torment with those who have chosen to forsake her.?

?I'm sorry, but exactly how do you know this?? Zevka could not resist breaking in at this point. ?Because to me, it sounds like you just made most of it up.?

?I speak from the words of the last High Priestess, who learned from her predecessor, and thus back in to time immemorial,? Istvan said haughtily.

Zevka snorted. ?So, some qua-- excuse me, priestess told a story to another priestess, who told a story to somebeast else, and so on. Seems to me that beasts have trouble remembering drink orders when they pass through too many intermediaries, let alone anything more complicated.?

?There is no comparison between the care we take out of devotion to the Mother and the care your tavern maids take with drink orders.? Istvan made no effort to hide his annoyance at Zevka's irreverence.

?How do you know that Priestess Number One wasn't lying? Seems like starting up a religion is a great way for this priestess to get other beasts to kill for her, die for her, or do whatever else she wanted them to do."

?The first Priestess was run out of three towns, had her paws cut off, and was reduced to conducting ceremonies in the dead of night in the forest."

"Well, there goes my plan to start a religion," Zevka said dryly.

"The truth is hard, marten, and most beasts would rather not hear it,? Istvan said with an air of martyrdom.

?Ain't that a fact,? Nyika muttered under her breath. ?And most of them won't pay for it, either.?

Zevka twitched her ear in annoyance. ?Well, then that's another problem in itself: why should anybeast believe in or worship a deity that takes such lousy care of its followers? You say you're the 'most beloved' priest in miles? Why can't Mama All produce some happier, more successful followers than you? It doesn't seem to me that this religion of yours makes beasts better off.?

?The Mother does not give us material wealth; the greatest and purest joy comes from serving her will,? Istvan said with an air of serenity. ?I will have eternal happiness when I return to her embrace, rather than the ephemeral indulgences which accompany being, as you say, 'better off.'?

Zevka refused to be diverted. ?If you're the most impressive specimen of your faith, why the 'Gates should anybeast spend their life chained down by it? You don't look like a happy beast to me, Istvan, and you don't really seem like you have anybeast who actually cares about you. How is this evidence that yours is the best way to live??

?I have not seen you question Nyika in this way about her abilities,? Istvan said in a rather pointed tone.

Damn! He may have me there. Thing is, I don't actually know that Nyika's abilities are objectively real, just that they aren't an act. But what would saying that do to Nyika?

Zevka leaned towards Istvan. ?I know when beasts are faking something to get my coins. Nyika isn't faking. I didn't believe in ghosts before I came here, and maybe I still don't believe in them. I'm just not sure.?

?Then how can you be sure about the All Mother? And what of the consequences if you are wrong??

?What about if you are wrong, Istvan? What if this is all there is? Or what if there's something else, but we can't find out about it? What if Vulpuz or Martin or Sretni or some other deity is real, and yours isn't, and you've spent your life being miserable only to go to 'Gates anyways because you did it for the wrong boss??

?I need fear none of those things. The All Mother is real, and she has no need for those other beings you describe. Sadly, most beasts would rather damn themselves then submit to the truth of the Mother.?

?Well, frankly, I'm prepared to risk being wrong about that, rather than be like you, Istvan,? Zevka snarled. ?I don't know what happens to beasts when they die, but I do know that this world exists, and I'm not going to cut myself off from other beasts and live without anybeast in this world thinking of me as anything other than a threat or a curiosity."

?I have always lived in accordance with the will of the Mother, even when it was the most difficult thing in the world. How could you find an imperfection in that?? Istvan turned back to Poko, clearly preferring her reaction to him over Zevka's.

?So you say beasts pay for wrongs they've done by giving their lives? Or blood?? Poko asked.

?Yes, exactly.?

?Oh. So how do you know whether you've bled enough to be okay?? There was clearly real fear behind this question from Poko. The young sprite's demeanor was far more solemn than it normally was. Zevka cringed.

Oh no...tell me she isn't thinking of...?

?It depends on the seriousness of the offenses. Why do you ask?? Istvan's interest was clearly piqued.

Zevka heart sank at what Poko said next. ?Cause I guess...I'm thinkin' about my parents.?

?If--?

?That is ENOUGH, Istvan!" Zevka snarled, ears flat against her head. "You can prattle on about your religion until the rest of your face turns blue. You can threaten us all with damnation as much as you please. But you are not going to poison the memory of Poko's family, and you are not going to talk Poko into doing some crazy ritual with her dead parents' bodies!?

?Zevka! Stop!? Nyika had noticed the marten's paw resting on her saber hilt.

Zevka kept her paw firmly on the saber, all pain in her arm and shoulder forgotten.

Clearly at least one beast had heard the noise. Risk closed the gap between himself and Poko at a much higher speed than Zevka would have expected an injured beast to move.

?What's the bleedin' ruckus?? Risk asked, wheezing just a bit. His knife was drawn. He glanced about for enemies, but upon seeing Zevka and Istvan's respective stances, appeared to suss out the situation quickly enough. ?You lookin' to start somethin', Corporal, or just finishin' it?? His voice was soft and disarming, but the look in his eyes as he regarded Istvan left no doubt as to the proper response.

Istvan glanced from Zevka to Poko to Risk. ?Hiding the truth from her is no victory. All you've done is damn her parents.? The otter took one last look at them, and then walked off to meet Noonahootin, who had started to fly back towards them.

?Thanks.? Zevka said to Risk. And meant it.

Risk gave her a confused look. ?What in Hellgates was that??

"He was trying to explain to Poko why her parents were going to be damned because she didn't get him to help mutilate their remains," Zevka explained with a growl of frustration.

"The mountain did that enough I'd reckon," said Risk. He softened further, sheathing his knife. He made as if to pat Poko on the head, but his paw didn't quite make it all the way before falling to his side. "They were good beasts... they got a grave, crows never got to 'em- that's more rest than most beasts I knew, Pockets. Don't worry about 'em no more." He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced back at Istvan and Noonahootin. "Promise I won't let him out of my sight again. Bugger had me walkin' in front of him..."

Zevka nodded. "Thank you, Risk." Her gaze hardened. "Anybeast who would try to stuff his bill of goods down the throat of a grieving kit needs watching."

The party resumed its travel towards the ice patch, this time with Istvan near the front and away from Zevka.

Nessa looked worried. "Zevka, I wish you 'adnae done that...Istvan is not right in the brainbox! If you really make 'im mad, an' he thinks the All Mother want 'im to 'urt you..."

Zevka sighed in frustration. "I know, Nessa. I appreciate your concern. But I couldn't just let him do that to Poko."

The marteness walked over and slung her arm over the young ferret's shoulders. "Poko...just don't listen to Istvan. I don't care what Inkychops and his imaginary friend say." She crouched down to look Poko directly in the eyes as both mustelids came to a stop. "Your parents loved you, and you clearly loved them back. Just try to remember that. Don't worry about that --"

Nyika gasped at what Zevka proceeded to call Istvan.

"And don't let him use your parents to worm his way into your ear."

Poko still looked like she wanted to cry, but was absolutely determined not to. Zevka hugged her. For a while, nobeast could think of anything to say. Eventually, Zevka released Poko, and they all settled on just walking.

As they continued to travel, Zevka shot an annoyed glance at Nyika. "By the way, I don't suppose it would have been too much to ask for you to mention that everybeast who dies doesn't go to eternal damnation for not being Istvan?"

"I wasn't being spoken to?" Nyika said shyly.

Zevka clapped a paw to her forehead.

"Look, you sometimes have to be more assertive than that, Nyika! Istvan doesn't seem like the sanest of beasts under ideal circumstances. What if he goes downhill?"

"Oh, he won't survive it." There was something in the wildcat's tone that set Zevka's tail fluffing.

"And we might not either! I might have made things worse...but I couldn't just stand there and let him do that to Poko." Zevka sighed, then turned back to Nyika. "Also, when we go back to town, go have fun. Find some friends your own age, or a mate, or somebeast to keep you grounded. Istvan is what happens to beasts who don't do those things. He's so immersed in his world that he doesn't really live in ours. Don't let your ability be all there is to you."

"It's all I have," Nyika replied.

It was the saddest response to her advice that Zevka could imagine.