First Impressions

[Komi Banton]

Oh! Komi's a mother as well?! (Is my bad memory striking again or is this new information?... Feels new enough to me.)

This is new, so it's not your memory. :-D I've been hinting at it very, very slightly, mostly in those interactions with Minerva (staring at Fable, and giving Min the chain). I'm glad you liked our collaboration. It was incredibly fun to write.

[Minerva]

I'm glad you liked our collaboration. It was incredibly fun to write.

Indeed. Thank you, Crue, for your consistent thoughts :) We look forward to hearing them every round.

[Tooley Bostay]

Jolly good show, Crue! Huge props for pounding out these reviews before the vote and putting in the effort for the writers. I'm sure they all very much appreciate it, and I know that I enjoy reading your alternate takes on the chapters.

[Crue Sarish]

"Aftermath" - Komi Banton

In the last episode: Chained to Minerva, the two are forced to work as a less than cordial pair. However, they are able to put enough of their pride aside to survive their first match against a horrific monster!

Finally, a chance for Komi to bare her soul, to tell us how she became the beast she is today. I'm glad you decided to bring this up now as opposed to holding onto this secret, as this will allow Komi to move forward and to overcome her past. It felt like an odd time for Eve to show up and basically throw money at her, but I'll have to wait and see what comes out of that. The scene felt abrupt and a bit jarring, but with sponsorship having already been brought up, it's not something that was out of the realm of possibility.

And then Jossia, who is already a good beast to hate. Showing up standing with Nire, it's now as if Komi has two wardens to deal with now in this hell. Having her show up was a good segue after the tale of the fall of Galleran's army (though not revealing how Galleran died). I imagine if she sent "directions" to Nire, she must have dropped a pretty penny to go along with them. Nire's not one to be told what to do, so it's interesting to see the lynx's interpretation.

The scene ended with a great cliffhanger as we wait to see the build-up to this upcoming deathmatch, but I wish we could have seen more of a reaction to the news than the world spinning and a shortness of breath. She's going to have to fight her former love, the one she's finally opened up to and connected with. While I admire her determination, we went straight from gut-reaction to resolve in about twelve seconds.

This was a very good chapter and I look forward to seeing what our Komi does next.

[Crue Sarish]

"Arena A Cappella" - Kali

In the last episode: In the midst of her realization of what the Crater truly is and who it is she's working for, her noble (and polite) attempt to leave Nire's employment lands her among the general population.

I'm glad Inkpaw was't left behind to live out a normal life in Northvale, but the first part of the chapter actually felt a bit unwieldy. I get that he wanted to meet up with Kali, but the opening scene felt drawn out to make me wonder if it was going to be a dream sequence. Random rat, an odd... insult (?) about dunking his head in a river, a rather convenient meet-up with Baxter... After looking it over a second time I felt a bit more fall into place, but it still felt a little confusing, especially as the last posts have been completely focused on Kali and her perspective.

Kali's reaction to being thrown in with the other slaves is beautifully heart wrenching. We still see her conversation with herself, a valiant effort to make the best of the situation, and realizing just how out of luck she is. Though the follow-up feels a little rushed, we still see naive and desperate reactions ("take out the big dog, become big dog...). We see her assumptions that beasts are already judging her because of her species.

I was surprised she decided to stick with her first - rather terrible - idea, even if it devolves from "take out the strongest" to simply "appear to challenge someone who looks strong."

As far as her talk about "what prison is like," it made me chuckle, but it felt rather modern. It's not entirely out of the realm of possibility that she would have to share a cell with Bubba, but that feels like something that would happen very much outside of Redwall.

A few more spelling/grammar errors than usual, so I'd recommend a slightly finer-toothed comb next time around.

Oh, of course the porridge would land on Komi and Minerva! Poor Kali with no clue what she's doing, and every step she takes digs her further into the hole she's been pushed into. It is intriguing that Kali was so focused on herself that she didn't notice how defeated or tired or apathetic everyone around her was. She saw threats around every corner and had to do something, rather than simply be herself, which she'd done up until this point.

I'm curious to see who Kali will connect with, as she managed to meet most of the cast in the last part of her chapter. It made sense that so many of them would be around during mealtime, and while everyone else's reactions felt true to character, there seemed to be something missing from Kali. I don't expect she'd be the eternal optimist after being thrust into the Crater, but I don't see that beast who knows who she is and what she wants. Where's the beast that didn't accept no as an answer?

While this hasn't been my favorite chapter to date, I still adore Kali. I'm very curious to see what kind of trouble she gets herself into and how she gets out of it. Don't let her be a beast that hides under some fox's tail when times get tough. She may not be as much the silly beast as she usually is, but she can still be..... Amazing!

[Crue Sarish]

"Only a Game" - Thrayjen

In the last episode: Our Blackwhiskers Hracken the Kracken Thrayjen rat, after denying before Nire a rather fanciful tale about him being the son of a king or other... he's given a gold tooth and a healthy dose of paranoia. Turns out, he had a connection to Aldridge, but mum's the word.

It hasn't been a very long time, but I'm glad to see that Kentigern isn't being forgotten, that those complicit in his death are very much aware of the price they're paying, visible or not.

Hello, closing bracket!

I'm curious to see how Thrayjen's interaction with Aldridge will affect the stoat. After Komi's (and Minerva's) visit he's had some small reprieve from his arachnophobia and apparently lots of time to think about what they've said to him.

It's nice to see Thrayjen having something to live for with the reveal that Helix "may still be alive." I was hoping he'd step forward a bit more in this post, but there's potential for action in the next post. After a couple "talky" chapters, he needs to get about actually doing something.

I think this chapter was longer than it it needed to be. You hit some really good points (addressing the loss of Kentigern, talking with Aldridge, gleaning important information from Kentrith), but it was very wordy. I liked this chapter, but I feel it could have been tightened up and made a bit more succinct. There was a lot of good dialogue, but a fair amount of chit-chat.

I still like the calm, thoughtful Thrayjen, but I'm curious to see how this new information grates at him until he can confirm his suspicions.

[Crue Sarish]

"For She Doth Murder Sleep" - Aldridge Moor

In the last episode: Goaded by the badgering, short-tempered Kentigern, Aldridge snaps and kills the gladiator, angering Nire and landing himself in an 8-legged companion in a nearby cell, a monster from whom he gets small reprieve when Komerva and Aldridge visit.

This post was much more to-the-point than the previous chapter and I appreciate Aldridge not only connecting with more of the cast, but also processing some of the things he's going through. He's a beast with a lot on his mind and a lot on his plate and he's doing the best he can to figure out what to do next. He spoke with quite a few beasts, but it wasn't the meandering check-ups of chapters past.

I appreciate that Aldridge's nights with the spider made an impact on him. He wasn't out of the cage and suddenly all right again. He has a history with spiders, which also makes his extreme fear valid and relatable.

If he has any inkling of who Thrayjen is, he hasn't shown it, so he probably has no idea. It's kind of fun how Thrayjen gets to be a little paranoid regarding what Aldridge does and doesn't know.

There's still a bit of melodrama thrown in, and while Aldridge is an emotional person, there were a couple sentences that felt a little bit drawn out for the sake of adding to the empathy that we're already feeling for him. I'm also not entirely sure why Adeen was there at the end. Was it simply an opportunity for the two of them to talk and get to know each other better? It felt light there might have been a more subtle reason, but I'm not sure. It could also be because it's late and trying to be critical while I'm sleepy doesn't always work out so well.

Well done, Aldridge. A highly enjoyable post.

[Crue Sarish]

"Stand My Ground" - Kentrith Hapley

In the last episode: Fearing Nire may know about his connection to Marik, Kentrith decides to accelerate his plans, whatever those may be. We learn he helped a slave escape years ago, and then he's forced to play nice with some of the well-to-do and loses himself in the drinks provided to him, landing him in a cell to sweat it out. Numerous interactions with the cast since that time, advice given, and beasts trained.


Mysterious figures, a secret organization, loyalty tests... A heart-to-heart with Aldridge with more of their backstory. The first act of open rebellion against the Crater and its heartless leader.

I enjoyed the intrigue, but I was surprised that there were no details about the hooded figure to hint at who they might be. They raised a paw, but what kind of paw? Did they have the height of a fox? A busy squirrel tail underneath the cloak? I wouldn't expect obvious observations, but was a touch surprised that we were left completely in the dark other than the fact it was a woman.

I thought Kentrith was fairly active in this chapter as usual, and even when Aldridge was the one talking about his and Komi's past, even since we've already heard it, it was pared down to the important bits.

Hoping for more "chance encounters" in the near future. I wonder if anyone else will have similar opportunities.

[Crue Sarish]

"The Taste of Ink" - Adeen Pinebarrow

In the last episode: Punished for sneaking into the nursery, Adeen vows to burn the Crater to the ground. At last glance, she spoke with Aldridge over tea, talking of horrors both past and yet to come.



Hoping to convince Aldridge to join with her to destroy the Crater, she finds that the stoat does not share her thirst for vengeance, but would rather "make the best of things."

The majority of the post is then told from Rinam's perspective, thrust out of Adeen's world and into the mouse's. We get a little backstory, some motivation, a common goal of taking down Canen and Nire, and then a fight. While this round seems to have been about building the framework for the bigger picture, I'm not sure how I felt about half of it coming from an NPC. Rinam will surely prove to be a valuable ally, and I do like the fact that we have a clear picture of who the mouse is, but it was long.

I'm glad to see the fight in Adeen, not just the wandering around, taking notes, checking in on beasts of all kinds. We get to see her working towards her goals. She's finding her own way to fight back, thinking through the information she's gleaned to formulate a calculated plan. I'm looking forward to seeing how her plan unfolds.



Note to all: This round we're seeing more NPCs taking part in the build-up in some capacity or another. Likely because of the fact that it's days or weeks between particular characters' posts, it can be jarring to suddenly have a new person pop up and ask for their time in the spotlight without knowing why. With Inkpaw, we'd met him before, so it wasn't as new, but Komi's new sponsor and Rinam felt like they're thrust into the reader's view and we're expected to accept their presence.

I suppose it's also just different. We had little NPC-perspective in MO3, and without knowing to expect that, it's not something I was ready for. It's by no means bad... just different.

[Crue Sarish]

"New Skin" - Silas Hetherton

In the last episode: Having survived the Culling, Silas comes face-to-face with the extended consequences of his actions, the cost his attempted assassination had on his former employer. Forced to fight the hedgehog, he is unable to kill the innocent beast, and when the fight grows boring, The Reaper and Truggo kill the snake let loose upon them. Afterward, he's informed his new sponsor is none other than the beast upon whom he's sworn vengeance.

[spoiler](Coincidentally, this was what I was listening to as he's reminiscing about his family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef-4Bv5Ng0w )[/spoiler]

A touch more information on this outside force, though the information came more from hearsay than solid facts. We don't have much reason to doubt Darby, but I wonder just what the otter knows.

In the second part, he's given new clothes, given a drink, paraded around like a show dog, and insulted by another beast that hates Blasio almost as much as Silas does. We see Silas's thoughts and feelings and reactions, but he still feels surprisingly separate from the rest of the story. I'm still rooting for the beast, but I still see little in regards to getting involved in what will some day lead to resolution. Is he so single-minded that he only spares a passing thought for the FTN as a "neat idea?"

[Crue Sarish]

"Break a Leg" - Kali

In the last episode: Kali makes some really rash decisions in her new stay as a slave and gladiator-to-be. Desperate to keep the general population from picking off the "weak freak," she ends up provoking them. Wrath is overshadowed by apathy and curiosity as she has the chance to speak with several of the cast members in one capacity or another.

Starting out, that's the Kali we missed in the last chapter. Confronted with the new and shiny, but realizing that her excitement is fleeting in the face of reality. Armored and armed... Oh dear! Here we go!

If I wasn't running out of time (as usual), I might come up with more of a critique than the fact that there were some SPAG errors that could have been cleaned up. Here we see what Kali is capable of, but also her limits. She's afraid of being seen as a monster, but she refuses to become one. She maintains her silliness even as she's trying to survive being violently murdered, but it was completely in character.

I don't know if the last bit with Nire was crucial, but it was good to see what exactly bothered him about the performance. Minerva's moved the crowd with her words, and Kali's passionate bellowing have touched enough of the audience for the lynx to notice. It also showed that even Nire's friends have reason to tread lightly around the Lord of the Crater.

This chapter made me smile and laugh and worry and smile some more. :)

[Crue Sarish]

"A Solution to a Small Problem" - Sly Speakeasy

In the last episode: Perhaps taking Blasio's money and rubbing his face in it went a touch too far.

Good gravy, Blasio doesn't mess around! Sorry to see you go, Sly, but at least you went out in a blaze of glory... or was it a glorious blaze... May your silver tongue sneak you into the afterlife.

[Crue Sarish]

"The Bonds that Break Us" - Minerva

In the last episode: Fortified by the fact that her daughter is still alive and well, Minerva works to keep herself alive, even if that means working with Komi to vanquish a horrifying beast.


This was an excellent chapter! Building ties with Komi and getting to know Silas and offered the "opportunity" to work for the enemy in exchange for the one thing she wants the most. A dilemma with no good outcome that is in direct conflict with what all the other characters are working toward.

Again, I wish I had more to say, but I've run out of time. I'll simply say well done.

[Komi Banton]

Huge thank you to you, Crue. Your thoughts on the story are very appreciated! Hope we continue to entertain!

[Crue Sarish]

I apologize for not getting reviews up this week. Both life and laziness got in the way.

I just wanted to say that I primarily enjoyed this round. A few posts were enjoyable, but didn't really add much to the story. Some authors tried new tactics with varying results, and while I appreciate the ingenuity, somethings worked and some things didn't. All of your characters made me smile, some made me laugh, and it was - out of time restraints - interesting to simply read them instead of trying to be critical.

I'm sorry to hear it was a rough week or two. I get that things come up in life that just plain suck and there's not a whole lot you can do about it, so you just do what you can. As much as I would have liked for posts to go up regularly, sometimes that just doesn't happen. I hope that this next round finds you all in better situations, or at least in better spirits.

In the words of the AMAAAAZING Kali, "Today is a new day!"

Thank you for all your hard work!