Whimsy Mimsy

[Kingsdotr]

Greetings! Welcome to my thread of.... well, silly thoughts!

As audience for MO3, I just gave my impressions for each post as I read them, and really enjoyed doing so! I did the same for the apps in MO4, but didn't for the main contest because... uh... *cough* I was in it. Heh, wasn't sure I could be objective at the time.

This contest! I am so excited to see what everyone brings to the table, apps, contest all of it! And I will be concentrating on posting these reviews, whether I get in or not!

I can't wait, you guys! Happy writing!

Have some extra exclamation points!!!!!!!!!

[Kingsdotr]

I am going to try to get two, maybe three categories up tonight, and we'll see how the rest goes, as work has been a little crazy. Also, I will just take these in order, from the top!

So, first up is:
You Seem a Decent Fellow: I Hate to Kill You

Elliot
I love the voice of experience Elliot brings to the contest, his attention to the flow of the duel, and his ability to guess what his opponent is doing. The hat is a nice touch. I could hear the cry of "Foul!" right in the middle of the action, as he was outnumbered, and his bravado of "Next time, bring more friends," has me cheering his victory.

Fiyero
Our bard is in full swing! Now he just needs to brain someone with his guitar. I mean lute. I mean....

Oh, wait, bards were in the last contest. I still love his charisma, as he sings his tale of daring do. A generous soul, a braggadocious rascal.

Cue ominous music, 'tis the dissenter! "Thou art a liar, sirrah!" "Then taste of my blade, to teach thee better manners!"

Soooo.... is sir Martin picking a fight? Is he genuinely upset at being called a liar? Is he the Bracken Beast? I kid.

Bihto Snowridge

I love how you can tell his personality straight from the start. "He blew into town..." "Bihto had com to make his name."

Goosy goosy gander, whither shalt thou wander? Up North to Hasnaroff, to put you through the grinder!!!!

Your descriptions are mesmerizing, I love how you fit so much detail, without bogging down the reading!

A good judge of character, is Zruse. Can I borrow him for our next employee interview?

Cat on Bird! Underdog fight! And the bird hisses back! The cat doesn't like that! maybe getting some of her own back will give Bihto the edge in this fight!!

"You beaked me!" And you clawed him! Seems fair.

And our winner is.... The Goose!

Conclusion
All of these were fun, and I liked them all for different reasons!

Elliot, I love how professional you are, and how you are ready for anything! I had a hard time connecting with you. If you were to continue, I would want to see your need. Yes, you feared to lose your title. Yes, you fought for it. But how much is just putting the smack down on a whipper snapper? How much is it fulfilling your need? Show me what you need, and why you can't get it.

Fiyero, you made me giggle. However, you are a duelist, yes? How exactly were you dueling? With words? With song? The blade comes out, and we get a call back to the crash, bash, slash... If you were to go forward, I would like to see, well, a duel.

Bihto, I love your descriptions, and the glimpse we get into who Bihto is. I would like to see him in really deep water!

Congrats, Duelists! I'll see you in the lists!

[Kingsdotr]

Moving right along, in search of good times and good news, with good friends you can't lose! Two didn't happen on Thursday. Two will probably not happen today. These take longer than I thought... But so much fun! Here we go!

You Won't Like Me When I'm Hungry... I Mean Angry... Hangry?

Chitterfang

Bat! Bat! Batty, batty, batty, batty.

Wait. Where's the bat? Who's the vole? Something seems buggy.

A brigand! In the Berserkers! Gasp! Go back to your own country, Rhubarbarian!

Sing for your supper... I guess... Come Back to ME!!!! Oh... he's not eating it?

Martin's back. A Ghostly tale. Song and Sustenance. This should be a yearly ritual!

Flash! Bam! Alakazam! In walked... eccentric you! She seems so absent minded. And she knows Brennan!

Ah, now the bugs make sense. Here is my call to arms!

I are monster: Hear me rawr.

OOOOOO, infestation! Nice! That's a new way to describe the bloodwrath!

Wait.

What?

The bugs... are talking to her? She's... taking their abilities... and mimicking them. Alright then.

Scurry, sniff, FLINCH. Roll, sting, WEAVE. I SAID WEAVE.

So.... if he used different bugs, would she get different abilities? Butterfly kisses of death!

Amnesia, a journal, and...

Aw. She killed her friend. That makes me sad. Bye, bye, Brennan.

Elias Heatherpaw

Ayah, a hare! I love a good hare! Will this be a.... hare-raising tail? Diving right in:

More ghostly descriptions, and memories. My, these berserkers are a nostalgic bunch.

I hope the picture is laminated. Maybe coat the locket in wax, so it doesn't get wet! nods sagely as if I know what I'm talking about

On the rogue again.... It's just so great to be on the rogue again... We're chasing critters to the death with all my friends....

"It's not a bacon tree: it's a ham-bush!"

His ghost-wife needs to calm down. Can't a fellow destroy vermin in peace?

Aaaaaand everybody's dead. A death for you, a death for you, death for everybody!!

Raise your paw, anybody who wants to call in an exorcist... for the ghost wife...

Ilka

Who wants a dead beast? Well, Ilka has just what you need! Need someone's head on a platter? Call Ilka! Need to intimidate someone? The Hellcat can help you! Simply call three times in the forest, and wait for your head to be handed to you!

Wow, the descriptions in this are amazing. I already hate this mouse.

"Do you like my pink teeth? Yeah, the bleach isn't working."

Wow, this mouse just totally did a 180. "We are none of us sullied, nor truly past redemption." stands there holding a bag of baby weasel heads

"Yeah, I'm kinda a monster, and need to be stopped. Here, hold my leash!"

Conclusion

I am a little bit squeamish, so the berserker category is a little tough for me. That said, all of these entries really nailed my idea of a berserker, to the T! or B! (There is no "t" in berserker.)

Chitterfang, nice job on tugging the heart strings with Brennan's death!

Elias, nice job on creeping me out with the ghost wife!

Ilka, good job on giving me characters to hate, with something possibly redeemable!

I can't wait to see who rages best!

[Kingsdotr]

Ack! I must hurry! Without further ado, here is:

Scheme With Me, Scheme for Years, Scheme for the Laughter, Scheme... you get the point

Elsabeth Van Riften

A fantasy of numbers! I love fantasies of numbers! "If I buy 20 more books, I can still pay for my health insurance!" Ahem.

Leftenant, Sah! Erm, nope, it's a rat, not a hare. Whups.

"A lady doesn't record figures, but she can make them up..." This seems to be a major issue.

Family situation? Did they lose all their money and join the circus? I can see Elsabeth swinging on a trapeze while furiously scribbling in her notebook. "With 500, no 1000 spectators!"

Move along, nothing to see here, pay no attention to the extra soldiers you don't have...

Can't fight? Join them! Or... entice them to join you! "Apple?" "No, thank you." "It's good..." "Well, okay!"

Well, rather a moral gent, for a rat. If snooty. Super snooty.

North is were we send.... the milksop people. MUAHAHAHAHAHA *cough*

In the name of... my name! I will not let you beat me down! I will never go hungry again!!! Oh, wait, different story.

Lucan

Okay, immediately I am getting flashbacks from my FAVORITE scene from Mattimeo.

LOVE the theatrics!

DUDE IT WAS A MARIONETTE! He's gonna have to buy someone new sheets. That dent in the head can be sanded out, right?

Oh, man, I would NOT have wanted to watch over him as a Dibbun! What a terror!

He wants to be Abbey Warrior?! Ohmygoodness...

Giggling. The whole time.

Merrill

Why... why is he concerned about her torching his store? Why would he be worried about that? Should... Should I be worried about that???

Iron to gold? Sounds legit. Ooh, throwing names around now. "Exile!"

One little nugget, and the they all lose their minds!!!

Wait. She's dead?

Nah, she's gotta make it into the contest. She's not dead.

Psych! She's quite the little planner!

Aw, she just wanted to help.... Methinks there's better ways to help, though... than burning down... a village...

Well, at least she didn't kill him...

Conclusion

Oh, Mylanta. I laughed through all of these. Why y'all gotta make these decisions so hard?

Elsabeth, I am rooting for you to make your way and living in the North! Just... please don't fleece anyone too much... They don't own much up there.

Lucan, uh... good luck on your dream of Champion buddy! You're gonna need it...

Merrill, Such a sweet old hedgehog, such a strange way of doing things... Let's tone down the wild plans, shall we? Maybe a little honesty? No? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO BOOBY TRAP THE MINE.

[Kingsdotr]

I have a goal, I have an end in sight! If I do two a night, I will have Friday to vote! Okie dokie, here is:

My Beastie Lies Over the Ocean

Bise

Batten down the hatches, Guard your castles, it's a Rook! Bad jokes aside, I like that this is the second bird, if you count from the top down...

She's landing on a new boat. In the dark. Better bust out the high beams.

A... red scarf? For shame! "Thou hast earned it shamefully! Fie on thee!"

Yeah, Bise! You talk to her! That Floris... beastie.... person.

That's it. Toss the ferret overboard. Nobody will notice if I give him a little... push.

Ooh, a cartographer! Very necessary. Much needed. Keep her. For the love of mushroom pizza, keep her.

Wait! Are they pirates? I should have known. Slaps on eyepatch Ye've messed wit' the wrong burd, matey!

Aw, Bise needs an actual buddy. Someone to take her under their wing.

Yes, I went there.

Dawl Dredgemast

Iiiiiii feeeeeel the weight of the woooooorld...... on my SHOOOOOOUUUUULLLDERS.

Solemnly places paw on his shoulder You're the otter of the fishing boat now.

I can see the righteous anger now. "I told you to... oh. You're here. Well, uh, good."

Oh, yes, teenage seester. "I am just fine wit'out ye, I don't need a reminder EVERY 5 MINUTES."

Oh no! Spare the hotroot! How can you have shrimp and hotroot soup without the hotroot!

WHAT KINDA JOB IS THIS????

Oh, Tilly, don't be like that. He could call you Tiller. Or Silly. Or Wilbur. See? It could be worse.

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. HOW DID HIS PARENTS DISAPPEAR???? Oh, I know! They created a Suneater-killing machine named Tilly that they kept secret from everyone and... Yeah.

Novak

Uh.... Coincow? Visualizes piggy bank in the shape of a cow Whatever floats your goat, I guess... And of course, the rose oil is essential.

Oh! Sea lions! Hmmmm. I'm just waiting for a youngster on the crew to see his first sea lion and botch the whole thing by exclaiming, "He's HUUUUUUUGGGGEEEEE!!!!!"

"He used clove, so we must use rose! T'will make us stand out!" Yes, yes it sure will.

Nameless ship! Bad luck! Quick, name it the Rosey Brine, or they'll all be eaten by sea lions!!!

"Here, Mrs. Sea Lion! I'll distract you with my dance!" tap dances furiously

NOT THE BABY

Oh, yes, they can talk. SO CAN YOU.

Oh, look, another beast to toss overboard. Where'd we put that kracken? He needs a snack.

You and me, both, Novak. You and me both.

Conclusion

THIS CATEGORY NEEDS A TISSUE WARNING

All o' youse, tuggin' my pore ole' heart strings! And making me choose between you!

Bise, sweetie, find yourself a pal, someone who's got your feathery back. I hear there's a kracken available.

Dawl, dear, go easy on your baby sister, maybe go look for your parents. Did you try the kracken?

Novak, darling, kracken. Just kracken.

Congrats, Seafarers! Shiver me timbers, this will be tough!

[Kingsdotr]

Lunch Break! That should be enough time for a category. Right? No crickets, please. Alright, here we have:

Wanna Play Hide and Seek? I Won't Cheat, I Promise

Ashtad

OOOh, a snake! I love snakes! And the descriptions of his perceiving the coming crowd made me squee!

Aw, doesn't he have a pillow to put over his head? Maybe he can scrounge some cotton somewhere.

Instant sacrifice! Here, have a dormouse, and calm down. That's one way to get rid of someone unwanted, I guess.

Oh, not hungry? Good fellow. You work on that robber. Just... stay away from brigands. They might be a friend.

"Yes, stick around. I can always eat you later."

Hey, he does have cotton! He can stuff his... uh... no ears. Nevermind.

HE HAS BOOKS! We must sit down and chat some time.

A very practical adder, he seems to be. You get a free executioner, I get to eat.... It's well balanced.

Oh... oh, okay. Yes, Mr. Dormouse, use logic to free yourself! That's using the pen instead of the sword! Or... something.

I must say, I LOVE Ashtad's highbrow speech. Very sophisticated for a beast-eating snake.

Kew-Kew

Margaret needs to be wearing a red riding hood. Do not stray from the path!

Javelins, arrows, and boulders, oh my!

Who goes through the land? Who survives the gaunlet, more like! Sheesh, man, give the mousemaid a medal!

Is he like... a naked mole rat with bits of fur here and there? Hmmmm....

Personal space, dude. And maybe a tictac....

He thinks he's an eagle? and he eats... other eagles? Bwuh.

He ate a mouse tail. Yeah, that wouldn't reassure me, either.

He set traps for yummy thingies. What yummy thingies? Not sure that javelins and rocks would catch eagles... He needs someone to restrict his diet.

Hmmmmm. Well, that's one way to get bait, I guess. Oh! The thingies are yummy for eagles!!! I get it!!!

Ah! His mother was killed by an eagle. Eagles are way bigger than he, so if he associates big predators with eagles, that means he, as an eagle, can catch them!

Is it sad that I understand his twisted logic?

OH GROSS. WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PERSONAL SPACE?!?!

Old One

Okay, after all the Discord, I have been super excited to get to Old One! Wahoo!

Yeah, man, getting old is the pits.

You get those horned beasts. Bite 'em.

Wow, he must have been way up north! Annnd, I don't blame him for migrating. Doesn't he get bored, though?

OOhh, what did he catch? A Pangolin? An armadillo? How far south did he go???

Well.... at least he acknowledges... that he's taking a life??? slowly edges away

HE'S DEAF???

Whew. Well, he's certainly... Old.

Ah. He's a D&D dungeoneer. Loot everything.

Conclusion

Alright! I am HUNTING for something bad to say. Anything... anything....

These all were really good, and, AGH, I just enjoyed each of these!

Ashtad, I need to discuss books with you. This is urgent.

Kew-Kew, I couldn't stop laughing. You are so... silly! And frightening at the same time. Yup.

Old One, want to learn sign language with me?

Stellar job, you guys.

[Vera Silvertooth]

Coffee shop people gave me funny looks from giggle-snorting over some of these. I love your observations!

[Kingsdotr]

Yeehaw! I am going strong! This is so much fun, you guys, seeing everything you bring to the table! So, let's get set for:

Nobody Will Get Past Me, You Hear? Nobo- ooh, look, donut

Priideep

The name, though! The name is perfect!

Does she have a young Padawan? He needs to keep his eye on the prize. Like his master. Dang, she is a better multitasker than I am. I can't review, read, and talk at the same time......

Wait. Ducks? I guess for a frog, yes, they would be just as scary.

Awww. Why is everyone killing babies? That's it, I'm going on a rescue mission.

Heh. Bridget. Sorry, couldn't help it.

Get rid of the threat.... By eating it! Man, everybody's taking that way out of everything. "They're in the way! Eat them! They're a threat! Eat them! They ate my flower garden! EAT THEM!!!"

Priideep is the best mother.

Yeah, Sedgwik, pay attention. Totally wasn't distracted by Priideep's stories

Leave the poor thirsty fox alone. And don't eat him.

What, what, what? What is this?

NOT THE CHILDREN. WHYYYY *headdesk*

Shahin

A crypt. The perfect place to hold my hopes and dreams. dramatically drapes over coffin

Two hares. A historian who is there entirely for scholarly purposes! C'mon, can't you let it pass for an old friend? Pretty please?

"No, you will be so interested in this story I will tell you, that you will forget my thievery!"

Ooh, we have a relic whisperer. "Tell me all your secrets! Oh, yes very interesting. Eti, it says it needs a polishing."

Topaypo. Heh.

Wow, she is really upset about this. Oh, she's afraid he'll be executed. Yep, I would cry too.

Yes, run! Oops, too late. Who is this she?

Wait. CLADE? Ooooh, things are getting veeeeerrry interesting.

You cost her her job, stole some stuff, and now you're proposing? Dude. You move too fast.

Sheercrest

A bird! Another bird! Huzzah for the birds! rips open feather pillow to celebrate *cough*

A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go! I spot them now, they're deep in snow! A-hunting we will go!!!

Aw, poor mouse. Mice seem to be getting the short shrift here.

Arguments among friends. Goodness.

If they're not eating people, people think they are. We just can't get away from it.

Oh, she ate his parents. Perfect.

"Yes, I ate your parents, but I promise, I won't eat you!"

Poor kid. Just realizing the sad truth.

Hmm, she needs to explain something. Yes, please explain! I want to know!

Good on ya, girl, for determining to do the right thing! respectful nod

Conclusion

Yooouuu guuuuuuyyyyysssss. I can't handle the sadness! I cry! Nuuuu!

Priideep, let me give you a hug.

Shahin, get your act together, man! And make it up to your friend!

Sheercrest, you can do it! You can show him how you've changed! ... you have, right?

[Vizon]

Sheercrest, you can do it! You can show him how you've changed! ... you have, right?

XD LOL this is hilarious! Love your reviews, Kingsdotr!

[Hethrin]

Very funny stuff! Love these!

[Kingsdotr]

Thanks for the feedback, guys! My zany brand of humor doesn't appeal to everyone, but if I can show how these apps are affecting me (ALL OF THE KLEENEX, y'all) and how much I appreciate you guys for submitting them, I am content.

Also, don't get sick. It sucks.

Next up, is:

Point That Thing Somewhere Else, Would You?

Flauros

It's a shrew!!!! Such a shrewd choice.

Prisoner! Stake! Silence! Drama!

"Cordy willfully abandoned his post..." He needs lessons from Priideep. She would keep him in line.

So... Flauros is just a bystander? Ignore me as I drink mysteriously from my tankard, with aplomb....

"Ordained executioner..." sees creature in robes with a cross necklace, hummina hummina hummina, smacks him in the face

"I didn't desert my post!" Then WHAT were you doing at midnight, making paper airplanes out of the book pages in the library, hmmmm? glares over glasses

Ooh, it's a firing squad! OLD STYLE!!!

Mr. Cordy Drexel Biddle, What will you do nooooooowwwwww.....

Why did they ordain this guy? You'd think they would have him shoot a time or two before, ya know, appointing him. Is he Cordy's cousin? Does he balk at shooting sobbing children? I have no evidence Cordy is a children.

"Nearby villagers shot annoyed glances his way." This is the reaction I get in the theater. Or so I assume. These reviews? I do them during movies, I am sure I am VERY annoying. Let's razz 'em together, Flauros!

Okay, seriously, this guy is doing it on purpose. How can an executioner be THAT BAD.

"Ope, you've missed twice, now you gotta let him go." He's twitching at the abysmal shooting. He can't stand it anymore.

It's destiny. That's why he missed. Fate jogged his elbow, I saw it.

"Curley is not supposed to die!" entire crowd looks around Who's Curley? Welp, another rolling head.

He was seen running into the woods! That's it. He's guilty.

Cuffey? Oh, now HE'S doing it on purpose.

Yeah, Flauros, I'm not buying it either.

"You're an expert marksbeast! YOU kill 'im!" "Whoa, now, no need to..." "Betcha." "Hold my beer."

chucks tankard over shoulder, straight into the angry badger's face Expert marksbeast over here! Oh, I beg your pardon, sir!

KNIFE THROWING!!!!! cuts finger through suggestion

Oh, so a bow is tradition, but a knife is heresy? What happened to the good ole' ax?

Flauros, be honest. He stole your Cheetos, didn't he.

Siler

Wood mouse! Not to be confused with the cloth mouse!

You work best in the dark? Of course you do, as all brigands do. Wait, wrong category...

Falfred? sees Batman with a fat lip Familiar trove. Yup.

Whoa, there, boyo, someone needs to call you a taxi. Siler's here to help!

Or not. Can bolts be quiet? Can they be loud?

Hold on, read him his Mirandas! It's not nice to kick a stoat when he's down!

Welp, Siler's had enough. I would too. How many times has he had to chase this stoat down?

Whew. Swift justice, I guess. Yeeps.

Uh.

What?

slowly backs away Yup. 'Kay.

Unga Underbite

Yes! Another dramatic beast!!! Another shrew! "Ye wound me!"

Aw, she's got bad luck. Just because she likes to chatter a bit....

You tell 'im, Unga. No, don't tell him that! facepalm

"I'll cut yeh, don't make me cut yeh." Er. You might want to appease the psychopath. Quick. Before he cuts yeh.

Aw, couldn't you have let him get in a cut or two?

"I'm robbin' yeh! Yew ain't supposed to give me advice!" Okay, I giggled. I suddenly saw Uncle Iroh.

"Go on with your robbery, then." Unga! Don't make it worse!!!!

Well, at least he didn't cut yeh.

Ooo! Darts and sling stones! Stingin' AND smackin'!

Has he seen her kill? How many times has she had to? Where does she hide the bodies?

Conclusion

Marksmen, take your mark! The writing on these was really well done!

Flauros, be careful where you throw your tankards.

Siler, time for a vacation on the beach. I hear the North is nice...

Unga, let's work on your tact. Here's some duct tape...

Well done, Marksmen!

[Hethrin]

"Mr. Cordy Drexel Biddle"

AHA! Happiest Millionaire reference!

Nice.

[Kingsdotr]

I can do four in one night, right? slams the coffee Awright, let's keep moving! And now for:

Ma'am, There's No Need to Scream, I'm Only Holding You at Sword Point

Antonia St. Myra

Mice and shrews and birds, oh my! They are thick this contest!

The otters.... are the horses? *tilt*

Scapular? insert Home Improvement grunt HUUUhhh? furiously looks up word That didn't help.

Finally! Someone who's looking out for the little otter! She's after the big fish...

"Gilded Ferret..." He had a run-in with Dionysus!

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

This guys just oozes arrogance. If we were at sea, I'd call the kracken. (Can you tell I like octopi?)

It is down to you, and it is down to me. Aha! a duel! ... Not a duel? Drat.

"Who are you?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" "Yes, that's why I asked."

We are a merry band, here to take back our land!

Oh, noes. More burning buildings!!!!

Kiri

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Robbin' Sparrow!

Time for a bit of coloring. Can't let those gray feathers show.

Hey! Putting on makeup is no joke! It takes FOREVER!!!

I'm getting strong schemer vibes here! Kiri, you should join up with Lucan! He'll give you that extra glow.

"But waiting was always the hardest part." I KNOW, RIGHT? UGH! flings myself down in my chair Another hour before my pre-ordered book comes out! checks Kindle for the 48th time What was I doing? Oh, right.

Hmmmm. Death from in the bushes, or from overhead... As a bird, wouldn't it be scarier to come from above? OoH! You should mix it up! This time from the bushes! That time from the branches? And now from under the stoat's coat! How was she hiding in there? Magic.

"Meaty thud." Ooh. Hope he stuck that landing.... Is he just... large? Is she surrounded by large beasts?

Three on three, it's a stand-off: until SHE arrives! with her tiny knife!

Two otters and a mouse. Poor mouse.

Smooths

Weasel your way out of this one!!! HAHA gets brained by a thrown pun-ch bowl

Wait. Are the shrews with 'im? Or agin' 'im?

Poor ferret.

I mean, okay, they tripped him. Oh, they're a mark. Okie dokie. Be patient, Lyds. All will be explained. In time. Unless this app gets cut. Drat.

Aw, he's so close to his friend. Those who steal together, stay together! Well, except for Unga and Snagwort. That one was doomed.

How big is this ferret? Come on, Smooths! You can carry him! He's no heavier than that gold you're always stealing!

Dusty. Must be a dry summer.

A harrowing tale... of one thieving friend carrying another, through the dark, waxing on their shared tales of daring do...

Oh, I do not like where this is going. Don't kill the ferret. Don't do it.

You did it. Where are those Kleenexes?

Conclusion

Hide! Attack! Burn down the house! Cart your dying friend through the woods! The mayhem in this category is only to be expected.... Whew, good job, guys!

Antonia, Methinks it's time for that lovely padded, white room.

Kiri, don't listen to those stoats. Princesses need extra time to prepare for a night on the town. Forest.

Smooths, it'll all be okay, buddy. Have a few of my Kleenexes.

GRRRRR, THIS IS SO HARD TO DECIDE.

[Kingsdotr]

Someone else watches Happiest Millionaire! Huzzah! toasts Hethrin with chocolate cake Well, since we're on a Happiest Millionaire kick, let's keep going with:

Poison Dart? I Mean, Raisin Tart?

Brother Hawthorne

Mice, mice, everywhere, and nary a badger to speak! That was terrible, I'm sorry.

"Drunken brawl, you say? I'm in. Oh, no, you're telling me about one. Never mind."

Oozing. Red. Pulp. Was the brawl held at the Meat Grinder? That's terrible, too. Man, I need to go to bed.

"Thought you Abbeyfolk didn't ask questions." Have you ever met a Dibbun?

"Yes, talk to me. No, no, talk, don't scream." rips another chunk out

Hmmm. A perfectly normal healer/patient conversation. Nothing out of place. BUT THIS IS THE ASSASSIN CATEGORY.

"I'm here to give you..." snatch "Uh... goodbye?"

"It's the BLACK SPOT." WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EAT THE SOUP. DID YOU NOT READ THE TITLE.

Oh, we didn't even get to the poison. His disappointment is so clinical.

Robin Merriweather

What a cheerful name! This makes me even more nervous!

NUUUUU, the groom is dead! Just before the feast! Is it the wedding feast?

Uh.... Robin? Moving a little fast, aren't you?

Oh. OOOOHHHHHH. Well, that's.... odd.... You kill your "fiance" and then... move to romancing the lord of the castle, then... try to poison him? And your dagger is plan B? Ummmm....

Hee, the back and forth between Olaf and Robin is hilarious.

SUDDEN ATTACK MOUSE

So much for plan B. Hee hee, "fatal case of being stabbed in the face."

Siobhan, Codename: The Mantis

Another fox! How lovely! Foxes make the best assassins, for... YOU'LL NEVER OUTFOX THE FOX. EH HEH HEH HEH

Surviving a beating. That's one tough weasel. And such good friends! What's that saying? Best friends will help you hide the body?

"Don't wait up. I'll need to shower."

"Hey, Arvydd, wake up. I killed your husband, I'm secretly a secret agent killer, and I cook bugs into my oatmeal." "WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?!"

Welp.... That's one way to create a merry killing band...

Conclusion

All the blood. All of it. Quite the night for these beasts. Skilled assassins, one and all!

Brother Hawthorne, you can't have my kracken.

Robin, I'd say you need practice, but I don't condone wanton killing....

Siobhan, why are you this way? Why? This.... is slightly disturbing.

As the Long Patrol says, 'Sdeath on the wind! Nicely done!

[Hethrin]

"YOU'LL NEVER OUTFOX THE FOX"

And a Court Jester ref? You are a legend!

Get it?
Got it.
Good.