Grey's Greyt Out-of-Date Reviews!

[The Grey Coincidence]

I am going to preface this rather lengthy set of reviews by saying that the Beasts In The Crater is one of my favourite stories period. Which... might say a lot about my taste. I won't dwell much on the technical aspect of the writing here as a) I am not sufficiently qualified to comment on such and b) there are question marks everywhere. Surprisingly this didn't detract from my reading experience. Suffice to say the story is excellently written and all the authors who took part deserve a hearty pat on the back.

Now then, onto my overly-glorified opinion pieces!

[spoiler=Cutieface]
I think this serves as an excellent contest teaser. For one it sets the scene of the story as a whole very well- brutal, gruuuuuesome spectacle! Anyone can die! Even a great fighter and the son of a badgerlord! And we also get our first glimpse of death and murder here and the sort of loss our heroes shall face as Brockrun recounts his old friends and the way they died. A great fight scene takes place, really accentuating how action-packed this story will be... And then, Brockrun dies! And his killer- can you really hate his killer? I mean, maybe Drazat but Cutieface is cute and sweet and gentle and definitely very friendly. I'm sure the name is not at all ironic. [/spoiler]





[spoiler=And Look Damn Good Doing It] *Wails* where was I when this came out!? Why did I not find it sooner? Whyyyyyyyyyyy? *Despair*

And here we get our first look at the main villain of our piece, the big baddie himself, Nire Borean. And I like him. Oh I like him very much. Not in that love-to-hate sort of way, more in the this guy may be eeeeevil and I should hate him but damn this be fiction and Nire is fun. Which is an excellent quality when you're gamemaster I assume. To the evil psychopath Nire, the Crater is just a game and the gladiators are his action figures and I like that. I like that he's an irredeemable baddie (also cookies coz lynxes in Redwall are cool) that I can enjoy reading on screen. He's evil, you know it, I know it, we all know it. And yet you can tell that he knows full well how to work up a crowd and I sort of love him for it. For now anyways, until he does something atrocious on-screen. *Then* I'll start talking about how much I love hating him.

Favourite line: 'And when you die you'll look damn good doing that too!' What a villain, what a villain.
[/spoiler]

Minor note, I've already read the whole story- only I did it character-by-character as opposed to chronologically- which was super-fun and very cool but er also jumbled the plotlines together into one big mess. I intend to do these reviews as I go through the story. Post by post. So yes, this will take forever but I have time and patience aplenty!

[The Grey Coincidence]

A review a day keeps the writer's block away! Or so they say...


[spoiler=Letters From A Thief] Adeen, Adeen, Adeen. What an observant beast you are. And I think I'll wind up repeating this word a lot as I read through your chapters, because if any one word describes you well, tis this one.

Now, I admit that I'm probably not your biggest fan (yet) but you are quite fun to read- and you have my sympathy. I'm... not much of a teary person (I think) but I do know that this contest will deplete my tissue box ever-so-sliiiiightly and well, what a way to start then by stealing a knife to... carve out a memorial... for the person you may or may not have killed.. It's sweet in a grim, sad kind of way. And also considering suicide? Nice start considering how dark this story is going to be, really sets the tone down well.

I  admit some of my confusion here may stem from the fact that I have not read your app (and also because I generally read far sloppier writing so this is like Shakespeare to my humble self). So there's a bunch of names that flap around which I don't quite know who to attribute to. But the gist of it all is pretty clear. Adeen is a widow- the Black Widow!- who is accused of three murders and is on trial. One of the victims is her husband (hence the monicker).  And thus she has been bought by none other than our big baddie himself. But there's also the allusion that she's going to be doing something about this big bad of ours- in the weather dialogue and when she was talking to Simondale about Granz and Kanen. And also... was that hare offering to let her kill herself? Is *that* what the 'was, mighty big word that, wot' was?

Either way a pretty good start. Gotta say though I expected much more action from someone who shares a monicker with a marvel hero :P (This is a joke)

Favourite line: "First I must learn the weather"- because it is always important to know the weather. (Hard to pick a favourite line to be honest because there's alot of really good prose)
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

Two in one today because these chapters flow better together then on their own.

[spoiler=Play, Minstrel, Play]
Congratulations on the song! Songs can be tough but I rather liked the tune of this one- even if it is just a plain old marching song and nothing more. Komi's nice, gives a fake name (coz it's always safer to be Tess the Tanner then Komi the Coward), asks politely for some food and is recognised by her sworn enemy!


A quick, action-packed chase/fight scene ensues as Komi scrambles through the snow. I like the way she stops, allows that pore fox to trip over her and then stabs him multiple times. Unfortunately, she's hurt and can't move so much and...

Reunion! Who doesn't like it when the formerly-in-love  bump into each other after a long time. I love the awkwardness between them ('you look well- aside from your injuries that is-') and the sort of mystery we have here in regards to how their relationship ended ('she wasn't sure whether she wanted to hug him, or stab him. Multiple times'). Good thing Ulrich took her knife :P

Unfortunately for Madder Barrow and unfortunately for Komi Barton Jossia returns to reap her vengeance upon the stoat! Komi is captured, subdued and ready for slavery- all while Aldridge-the-ex watches on (but heeeeeeeey he did raise his bow at first, right?)

Favourite line: 'Ah no, that flea-bitten fox did that to you, didn't he?'- because drums and instruments are precious things and demand to be handled with care. Talking to them improves the acoustics.
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Madder Barrow]

One thing I really like about these contests- and you might hear this quite often as I wind up repeating myself in this thread- is the change of view points. We are now in Aldridge's shoes, and where in the previous chapter it looks like he was abandoning Komi to her fate here we see him shoot Jossia... in the leg (I mean, you could have shot her in the back? I'm sure that would have saved you a bunch of trouble in the long-term...). Of course he does this after the villagers realize that they are surrounded and going to be attacked anyways. One little thing I really like is the way Aldridge 'reads' his opponents

'...a lower-ranked beast, tensing and releasing his jaw. Toothache.

...a patch of darkness in the canopy, swaying from side to side. Impatience.

...Jossia, kicking Komi for what must have been the third or fourth time. Brutality.'

And then instead of giving us a long and epic battle we are re-introduced to the knock-out darts. Instead of wasting words on a battle we know the outcome of we skip straight past to see Aldridge and company being punished for successfully killing some of the slavers. And it is on the roof of a carriage that he meets Adeen!

And I really like that Adeen is writing everything down here. It's what Adeen winds up doing for the next few rounds- writing stuff down- and I love it, the book of knowledge and secrets and things to know.

We, the humble readers, are thus left in despair and despite Aldridge's strength of will there is no going back to Madder Barrow (I really like the name, Madder Barrow- has a lovely ring to it). But it's a fun despair and on the bright side... none of the Barrow folk have died! (Yet anyways)

Favourite line: "Ulrich. I'm about do something extremely foolish." Was it foolish? No, but the line's good. I also feel like I have to add here that I really like Ulrich the Blacksmith, hard-hearted and stony-faced though he might seem to be. The rest of the NPCs are pretty good too though nothing special (yet)... [/spoiler]

[Komi Banton]

Your out-of-date reviews are still super appreciated! I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts on the story.

[The Grey Coincidence]

^.^ Thank yew Miss Barton. I hope my thoughts will continue to entertain.

[spoiler=The Monster Of Mossflower Woods]

I think it's fair to say this is my favourite post so far (because I'll be saying this a lot and thus every six or so posts I'll have a new favourite). For one thing I'm biased because the writing style is much simpler and I like simpler. It's also more... 'cinematic' in it's content. So it starts off with the weasel rookie heading off into the woods with his experienced comrades to take down the Monster of Mossflower Woods.

We then cut to the ever-adorable Fable who has plucked a water-lily from the river to give to her mother because her mother likes water lilies and looked sad a few days ago. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

But things take a darker turn when we meet Jenson. We have swapped points of view at this point but already know that Jenson is a slaver. Neat trick with the dagger-light-signal you dastardly hedgehog! And y'know one thing I like about Jenson is that he's a very well-made NPC, he's an experienced slaver, he's got a family to feed, he's pretty good at what he does and he's a bad-guy hedgehog to boot! So he's got all that going for him... and then he dies! And I thought that was really cool. Minerva is one tough cookie, takes down the slavers and would have killed the rookie outright if it wasn't for the fact that Nix is genre savvy. And this is all *after* she's been darted.

And this I feel is Minerva's 'fatal flaw' if you will. The fact that she isn't genre-savvy, owing to her isolation, and thus doesn't immediately suspect the hedgehog, etc etc. Nix however, owing to her previous position as a gladiator forced to work for Nire because of her son, can read Minerva like a book. She threatens Fable, the rookie survives (with, perhaps, a healthy sense of his own mortality) and MInerva is carted off to the slave train.

There's also another thing in this chapter/post I very much like and that is foreshadowing! And here I reveal the fact that I teeeeeechnically already read most of the story. So for example one line I really like is Nix's 'I dont want you poking anyone's eye out' while taking Minerva's hook away. The hook that Minerva winds up using to take someone's eye out. There's also some foreshadowing in terms of the parallel between Nix and Minerva- but I'll get more into that when we get to the more obvious parallelograms. One that sticks out to me here is 'to me hell is a baby who can't find it's mother' which I imagine brings up all sorts of bad memories, eh Nix?

And Adeen again, cementing her connection with the various cast members by interacting with... all of them? Yes, all of them sans Komi so far. Again I love the book of knowledge and all the stuff that's put in there. And I also thought it was quite nice of Adeen to talk about how she used Minerva's alter ego as a bogeyman to scare her kids into behaving. Which I thought was really sweet. Brief glimpse of Komi here, staring at Fable- because Komi is also a parent. And I just realized that six out of ten of the cast are or were parents.

Moving on we (I) start loathing Nire because he's such an irredeemable scumbag (who would totally threaten a lil' kid which is evil) and I imagine we (I) 'll be hating him a lot more in the following posts. He takes Fable away, but gives Minerva back her fishing hook (while once again ignoring how dangerous a fishing hook as a weapon is... and now I wish he had a gladiator who fights with a giant fishing hook).

Ah poor Minerva, and poor Fable. They just wanted to collect blueberries and bake a pie. 

Favourite line: I have two that I can't choose between. One is the 'I want to hear them chant your name' courtesy of Nire. And the other is 'Yer lookin' for the Monster of Mossflower, well ye just found her!' *lifts rock* which I thought was cool and gave me chills. Though I also think the 'stay awake' murmuring was awesome.
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=The Second Heartbeat]

Here's a cookie coz I love the chapter title. It works on multiple different levels of course (new life and what will you) but I like it mostly because 'hey heartbeat, and Kentrith's a healer so it makes sense'. I like the opening as well, of Kentrith coming to meet his older brother for the first time in a long time. I don't think I've read all of Kentrith yet actually, so I'm curious as to what happened with his mother and siblings. Or what happened to him for that matter, considering he somehow became a gladiator...

The question is now, why is he called The Crane? Can he fly? Does he have long, gangly limbs? Or is he the other kind of Crane and is really, really good at lifting heavy objects with one hand? Does he use crane style Kung Fu?

*Reads fight scene*

Well, Kung Fu Master he is not. Though he's not a bad fighter when push comes to shove and he's at risk of being stabbed to death. He gains victory over the Direbeast, who is a cool opponent, and is once again hired by Nire.

Now, I understand Nire is suspicious of Kentrith (with good reason) but... is it really customary to arrange a fight to the death for someone asking for a job? Northvale is such a weird place to live if that is the case.

'Hi, can I get this job?'

'Sure, but you have to fight a crazy feral badger before.'

'....But I wanna be an accountant.'

'Them be the rules.'

Like, you would lose out on a lot of revenue with this kind of survival of the fittest menatality.

Regardless, Kentrith proves victorious and I can only assume Direbeast is expendable to Nire who really doesn't seem to care all that much. And thus Mister Hapley becomes Trainer Hapley.

Favourite line: Two that I really like here. One is this lovely descriptor  'As if in deliberate mockery, a beam of sunshine filtered straight to the small cottage in the middle of the clearing.'

And the second one is '"Why?!" he wailed, his pitch rising and voice cracking.' Because it caught me by surprise and I just thought it was really funny. Though, subsequent readings have somewhat toned down the comedic edge of this line. Because he healed Direbeast many times... and now he was forced to kill him. I *still* really like the line, though now it's more in the 'sucker punch of sad' sense. [/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=Redwall Rhapsody]
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALI!!! I think that's gonna be my first reaction to most of your posts. As unfair as it might be, your writing style is the kind I gravitate to the most. Thus you automatically become my favourite post so far.

Having said that I am removing brownie privileges because you are named after Mother Kali and yet do not go around wearing a necklace of severed heads.

Having said *that* I love your first scene in the barn. Propping up your own smile and pep-talking yourself into having a goood day. I especially love the fact that, with Kali, amazing is always amaaaazing.

Inkpaw is less amazaing but I like the deal they have. A scone for every person who comes to Inkpaw and tells them about Kali... which, makes me wonder what they told him about Kali... 'There was a monster in my barn today *describes Kali*'

And Kali wants to be a bard for *Nire*. You know I really like that she doesn't start the story off as a gladiator (that would be very misplaced of her). Instead she goes to get a job for our big bad himself...

And on the way she meets everyone's favourite speciest hare, good ole Kentigern. By smacking him on the nose in her attempts to fly in a crowded location. THWAP! Is good onomatopeia.

I love the scene where she chases the weasel into Nire's dining room. It was so wacky, but also so perfectly in character that I can't help but love it. (As a side-note Kali is very lucky she did not get 'thrown out with style' because... there are many ways to die in a gladiatorial arena...). We meet the rival bard Baxter, who is naturally not so keen on being so quickly replaced and Nire hires her!

Because he likes having cool exotic things all for himself. I think this is our first introduction to Blasio Timberfell and *ugh* I already hate the guy. Like, more than Nire. Which probably isn't saying much because not too long I said I liked Nire. And I still kind of do really- it would be so easy for him to toss Kali into the arena and be done with it but he gives her a chance and it's probably the nicest thing he does in this entire story.

Ah poor Kali. Just as her dream came true an assassin showed up at her doorstep to murder her. Because obviously every assassin in the land wants her dead. Y'know, they might not even be an assassin! They might just be someone who heard her singing in a random tavern and wanted vengeance! (Yes I know it's Silas, but theorizing will never not be fun)

Favourite line: 'Mum! Dad! There's a monster in our barn!' is the best line made by any NPC in the story so far.

'We had a disagreement over my artistic expression.'

'It's not about the money... okay maybe it's a little bit about the money.'

"You call tackling me into Nire's personal dining room talking?" the weasel sputtered.

A lot of lines here are just *chef kiss* perfection in my not-as-humble-as-you-might-think opinion.


[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler= Best Laid Plans]
I'll say it here and now. Silas Hetherton has the best looking profile pic out of all the MOIV contestants. It's cool, it's got style, and while I think Silas is far more than the profile lets on I just gotta admire the pic. It's awesome.

Silas is also awesome- just... in different ways. I'm gonna talk a bit about Blasio now because I like something that was done here very much. The uuuuuuusual revenge story has the seeker of vengeance realize that the path of vengeance is wrong and that they're becoming no better than the beast their trying to get revenge on.

Now, this isn't always the case and a good counter example is I believe Indigo Montoya who I'm 80% sure I spelled the name of wrong.

But I love that Silas hates Blasio as much as he does because I hate Blasio as much as he does! (Okay, not thaaaaaat much but having read everything... that beaver has not a single redeeming quality and that's what I love! He's the worst of the worst, the scum of the earth, even Nire's better! And yet... only Silas is actively trying to do him in. The more I read the story the more I appreciate that Silas made a very accurate judgement of Mr Timberfell. More on tha point in future reviews I expect.

Now I've talked a lot about the bad guy, I haven't talked much about Silas.

I love Silas because, single-minded though he is, he is an incompetent assassin. He has never had cause to kill anyone else. He's a nice guy who feels he has nothing left to do but avenge his family. And while he's an excellent gardener he's basically a less dramatic Robin Merriweather.

He... doesn't even have enough money to buy decent equipment...

And yet he would have succeeded! He would have managed to do it! Blasio would have died!

If... it wasn't for Kali. And, admittedly, I like Kali a lot less knowing what becomes of Silas. It was an accident, sure. Miscommunication. But it lead to tragedy... It is, however, also a really funny scene and I love that Silas the assassin is foiled by a *bard*. I also love the descriptors of Kali- particularly the line about an unearthly shriek! But yes, very funny scene... much less funny in hindsight.

Favourite line: 'There are days I imagine, if fate were a beast, I would kill it for the evil it has bestowed on us. I still wake every night listening for them, aching to hold them close and whisper words of comfort once more. My heart beats hollow, yet my hope remains. One day things will be right again.'

This is the letter Silas' wife wrote to him before she died, but after their kids did. And it's his motivation for everything he winds up doing. I don't even care that he was going to become a murderer and all those nasty moral implications. I wanted Silas to succeed so badly! And this line, in conjunction with the last one about failure, is a very well-delivered swift one-two of grief. It's just so tragic. I don't think of myself as a particularly emotional person but... I brought tissues for a reason.
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=All We Have Left]You know, I'm surprised to say that I found this post hilarious. So the first scene is nothing too impressive but I think it gives us a very good look at Kentigern that I wish some of the other posts had started with. Granted I only say that because I'm too lazy to sift through the Top Thirty, but I mean- I don't need Kentigern's app to get an idea as to what he's about. He's here to save a friend's little brother and so decides to volunteer for the arena- because he's the closest we'll ever get to a Redwall James Bond and James Bond must infiltrate things to be successful.

The next scene is one of the best in the round so far. He's being hired by Nire as a volunteer. I love the unspoken tension here- neither of them like each other but we're in Kentigern's shoes so it's more accurate for me to say that Kentigern *really* doesn't like his new boss. With good reason of course, but still. I love that he adds a clause in his contract (but he really should have read the fine print first) that says he's only allowed to fight vermin.

Y'know... Macraff can be summarized as 'the racist hare' but in the context of the Redwall novels... he's really not so bad? I mean, the way some vermin are treated in the books Kentigern is almost the standard really.


Nire I think is at his best here purely because he goes through such a long list of emotions. He gets a lot of terrific lines ,one in particular that I like is the 'Oh I think you do, you see I own you'. But also just his way of dealing with Macraff. He's smug, he's arrogant, he admits to capturing Highlanders- does he maybe already sort of perhaps suspect/know Kentigern's true reasons for coming? Probably not but it's interesting to think about.

And then Kentigern meets his partner aaaaaaand Thrayjen is my fav in this fic so any scene with him in it is automatically my favourite. I love that Kentigern is as rude as he is while Thrayjen is just trying to be polite, and this is a small note but I like that he automatically adopts what will be Thrayjen's arena attitude. 'But for now, at least, he would have to play the game Nire's way, though the thought of it made his stomach churn.'

Ah Kentigern, I understand your rudeness was your undoing but I love it wholeheartedly.

Favourite line: "Ach," said Kentigern. "Ah ken ye willnae mind if ah change the contract a wee bit, seein' as how ah'll be makin' ye so much money. Dinnae worry aboot it. The money's the important part, aye?" Kentigern managed to meld his burgeoning smirk into an innocent smile, but inwardly sneered as Nire, suddenly upright, tightened his grip on the wineglass.

He is soooooooooo insolent here and I love it. The look on Nire's face does not even need to be described. Gah, such a good scene. And the accent is really just the cherry on top.
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler= Chin Up]THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYJEN! YAAAAAAAAAAY! MY FAV!!!!!

I don't think I'm pronouncing your name right


Ahem, fanboy squealing asiiiiiiiide, Thrayjen has been captured by Nire. And can I just say once more that I love Nire. '"Excellent! We haven't had a capable rat in a while! Throw him in right away if he can beat the lot of you up." He just gets so excited whenever he gets a new gladiator. He's like a child getting a new toy to play with (and that analogy I think defines him very well). And Thrayjen has been tossed in amongst the slaves. Nan would have coddled him indeed- that's what old ladies do. I like to think he's purposely suppressing any thoughts he has about the hedgehog family, just because his actions here (being incredibly polite to everyone) don't mesh well with someone still furious about what happened to his kids (but then he had plenty of time to mourn considering the first line about how far the crater was from his cottage.

Now, I like Thrayjen because I started reading one of his chapters (it was the one where he was fighting a pangolin with Aldridge, Rinam and dead hare) and thus ended up reading all of his chapters. Which lead into reading Aldridge's chapters, which spilled into Kentigern and Kali and then I just decided I'd read all of them. So, it's Thrayjen's fault I am slaving away at these reviews.

And I also really like Thrayjen because he's so genuinely nice. Like, all he thinks of Nire is 'errant fiend' even though much harsher vocabulary probably better describes the lynx. He's all 'don't trouble yourself' with Hagorn and incredibly polite with Blue, his new trainer!

I like Blue. She's an evil vermin slaver who trains gladiators and yet... she's... not evil. I wouldn't call her nice but she's bright and happy and just generally seems like a positive person. But a slave's a slave and all that. Funilly enough Thrayjen does end up warming to her 'with that pretty gab'.

Thrayjen is eloquent. Which is another reason I like him. Lines like 'like the skies of a summer eve'- to describe Blue's eyes and 'my mother liked the way it sounded'- in answer to his name. And I love that he's telling the truth without answering the question.

Then we have the scene with Kentigern, and yes Thrayjen, Nan would approve of your ability to keep calm and not snarl at Kent.

And then we have the sparring match, and you know, this scene is so lovely in light of who Thrayjen is. He can't fight, he says, and at surface level it's because he doesn't know how to. But it's also because he doesn't want to be the Blackwhiskers again. It's not that he can't fight, it's just that he *really* doesn't want to fight. And, as we go through the duel it's pretty clear from Blue's dialogue that he can fight...

Because she says that he can fight and noone learns that many moves that quickly.

'You're a good teacher.'

Blue is decently impressed, but Macraff remains unfriendly. Which gives us this line of pure, wonderful irony. "Ah've seen ye flailin' away o'er yonder wi' the ferret lass. Ye dinnae ken how tae kill, do ye?" Oh Kentigern, you have *no idea* who you're dealing with.

"I'll have him looking me in the eye without murder in his own by the end of the week!" Well, technically yes. Not in the way you think Thrayjen.

Favourite line: As Thrayjen says 'I'm good conversation', so lots of good ones. I also thought that this was really cool line "If I can't have my freedom and live my life the way I want, then I'll take my death in my own way." But my real favourite is "You have no idea," Thrayjen said through a smile. Because there is so much irony in this post it's delicious and only the re-reader is aware of it all. Lovely stuff![/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

Small note, apparently if the spoiler title is too long the spoiler won't open?

[spoiler= Sly]

Sly is a relatively simple character. He's only wants two things in life. To be drunk and to have money. Naturally this has resulted in him acumulating a large amount of debt. Which leads him to find work in the Crater. Or rather, for the crater to find work for him. He doesn't have all that much depth, but he is oh so fun to read. His nimble tongue and quick wit elevate him above the relative simplicity of who he is.

"Oh I'm sorry Gerry, I mistook you for an ugly pig,"

"My name is Speakeasy because speaking is easy to me,"

He's a 'proffesional speaker' and it's his one redeeming quality. I wouldn't say he's a bad person (though innkeeps everywhere most certainly would) but he is definetly out only for himself. Which is bad if you're an innkeep (I really like that the doors to the bar are described as The doors to heaven, and that Sly calls the bar hare an angel it's hyperbolising his cravings and I love it). Also Sly is the most alchoholic alchoholic I have ever read. Even *after* Blasio humiliates him he was going to buy himself a drink.

Luckily the incredibly inebriated Kentigern (convinced that he can clear out the Crater with nothing but a broom and honestly I wish he had tried) interrupts him and Sly decides to save up his measly little copper for a wager.

Favourite Line: Everything. Sly. Says.  The funny thing is Sly is the type of character I would not like. Self-serving, alchoholic *vole*. That's all there is to him. And yet he is so funny, and his lines so good that I just can't. He may not be the smartest fellow in the room but his shere force of conversation makes it look like he is. Honestly, Sly could enter a debate on any subject matter and come out on top- even if he missed the whole point of the debate and knew nothing about what he was supposed to be talking about.

Also, "Handsome! You DO talk! I knew it, I knew it all along! Though I must admit, the lisp comes as a bit of a surprise."



[/spoiler]

[Airan]

Thanks for doing these, Grey. It's really great to see some feedback for an older story :)

[The Grey Coincidence]

Reviews are quite fun to do  ;D

[spoiler=Treading Paper]

I really like the chapter title- it somehow reminds me of the expression of being 'on thin ice' but y'know linked with paper which is more fitting for Adeen.

Speaking of thin ice, Hagorn is a real piece of work, isn't he? I think that's all I really need to say here. The implications in that intial scene alone were rather horrendous, and of course it's punctuated with lengthy descriptions of just how disgusting Hagorn is ('pulled out something which squirmed' ... eeeeew, much?) Luckily for the PG rating Adeen is a quick-thinker and Hagorn is scared of Nix (with good reason I feel I might add).

But just because she didn't 'get searched for weapons' doesn't mean Adeen is safe just yet. She is still a murderer and it seems her reputation has spread far and wide fairly quickly. I assume it's some kind of underlying guilt that prevents her from denying the whole thing because she has never denied murdering her husband and I'm still not too sure what happened on that fateful night of robbery and, well, life would be a lot easier if beasts like Cricken didn't get it into their heads that she's a cannibal. 

And I mean, Aldridge apologizes for him, sure, but Cricken was out of order. Interesting sense of tension in her scene with Aldridge too. I love how it reads like a scene of high-stakes poker ('even the lilt of concern and hope in the stoat's tone smacked of artifice'- apparently Aldridge is going for the Oscar this year).

Minerva snuck in a needle, which she is using to embroider a water lily pattern. And of course her primary concern is for Fable. And here we have the start of the lovely back and forth of the water-lily passing.

Adeen next has a scene with Sly (weeeeell not really, but Sly's there) and Kentigern! Who she seems to have history with. Something with Redwall judging from the 'trade red bricks for grey ones'. And geez, even Kentigern has heard all the rumours! Would he... really have left Adeen to Hagorn though? I mean... fate worse than death much?

And finally the most interesting part! The hit list! I missed this completely on my first readthrough and now I am very interested again. Obviously, I have a pretty good idea of who provided the rondel but I don't remember the hit list. I love the ending! Especially in connection to the previous lines where she's deliberately not reading the margin notes on Aldridge and scribbling down everyone's weaknesses. Well, knowledge is power they say and I pity everybeast now standing between the Scribe and Canen.

[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler= Tectonic]I realized several things while typing up this review. One, it is very hard to write a review succintly when all you wanna do is gush about the writing. Two, the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word Tectonic is *not* an earthquake (surprise, surprise) but a redshirt from the movie Troy named Tecton. (Having said that Tectonic is a great chapter name because Aldridge's whole world is shaking). Three, this is a very long chapter.

It's a full course meal and I love it!

So the chapter staaaaaaarts with Aldridge still on the road from Madder Barrow to the Crater. Very descriptive writing here, in part because Aldridge is an observant beast and therefore the perfect viewpoint character for things like the Tree of Supplies to be seen from. I think it's very nice of Nix to let the carpenters have fun observing the tree. A nice humanising moment for the marteness slaver (I'm honestly not sure how much I like her. On the one hand, she gave Luthier Droven ten minutes to stare at a woodwork wonder, on the other her 'food for Bessie' line is so casual like... does Nire bring Bessie food often or?) I also like that Aldridge immediately deduces that the Monster of Mossflower is Minerva as opposed to Thrayjen. Presumably based on her scars.

I love the scene immediately following Nire's 'Look Damn Good Doing It Speech' and the by-death roll-call, how Aldridge and Aera both play the part of acting tough, Ulrich attempts to burn holes in Nire's skull with the power of a glare alone (ah, if only he was kryptonian), Minerva doesn't play along. Aldridge really *is* an oscar-worthy actor and he's really going for the golden statue this year. He doesn't rise to Trash Rat's barbs, he counts heartbeats to get a measure of time (he is very good at counting. Insert joke about calculated maneuvers) and then goes to have an interview with Nire (and it looks like Kentigern fulfilled his half of the bargain with Adeen, who is now acting as a scribe). Which gives us this lovely gem of a scene.

"You killed one of my staff when we first took your village. Would you do it again?"

Yes, he thought, as acts of barbarism flickered behind his eyelids. The wildcat, paws crushed, chained to his own table and left to starve to death. Abandoned in the frozen forest with the cords of all his paws cut. Strung up and gutted in front of his own boars, watching with his last breath as they feasted on the viscera. Clamped down and being carved up by one of the old Southern Horde's most brutal torturers...

"No," he answered, his voice perfectly level.

Okay, maybe not an *Oscar* but at least a Golden Globe, right. Made doubly impressive by the fact that he does this knowing his apprentice is in mortal peril.

Nire doesn't like playing along however and the sour-puss (g-get it? C-coz he's a cat?) takes Aldridge for Perspective Lessons With Bessie! Who is a giant spider... Poor Aldridge, his ability to see and notice everything does not come in handy when all you *can* see and notice is a monster.

The monster imagery carries on throughout the chapter, poor Aldridge seeing spiders crawling out of holes- though I love the 'some tails looked like limbs' line because of it. Again, nice of Nix to let him finish his fish. Moral greyness is heavy in the crater.

'Whoever made this should be shot with it.' (A loooot less funny when you realize that the bowyers did all end up getting killed but I love how much respect Aldridge has for his craft that he is utterly disgusted by the bows of the Crater). And he's a good shot too! You know, I forgot to mention earlier but I love that Nire gives everyone nicknames and the Dealer Of Distant Death suits Aldridge very nicely judging from his impressive archery display. Having said that I wouldn't fancy his chances against eight javelins :P

I loved his duel with Blue too, and the way he taught her the arm lock and disarming trick. But my favourite line here is in regards to his old trainer 'somebeast between a cat and a bear' who, if I recall correctly, is none other than Harroghale Khor himself. Ah the irony.

'I really need a drink', standard response at this point. Aldridge gets drunk, in the end he's reunited with his apprentice. And they get to work.

I'm going to say this is the best chapter so far just because so much stuff happens in it that it's just gaaah, I think I've read this eight times now and I keep picking up something I missed before. Do I... even want to know the word count? Or how hard this must have been to write :P





Favourite Line:  " Weapons.
   Mounted on the walls, several different weapons - an axe, a scimitar, a plain kitchen cleaver. None within reach.
   A small knife, intended for opening letters. Too far away. Useless.
   The manacles would stop him from doing anything useful.
   The manacles, then.
   No signs of rust.
   A small amount of dirt baked in to the burn-joints between the chain and the manacles proper. Not enough.
   The padlock holding the chain to the table, barely rusted and certainly not breakable.
   The hoop in the table, bolted all the way through the timber and held down with some kind of resin.
   The table itself, hefty beams of thick pine, deep scratchmarks on the stone floor betraying it as far too heavy to move.
   ...nothing."

(Necessary Naruto Reference That May Or May Not Be A Little Bit Silly) BYAKUGAN!

I just love how observant Aldridge is and this is the greatest showing of his eye prowess so far. Honestly this chapter has so many paragraphs to choose from that I'll leave it at that. I also really liked the heartbeat counting and the pawstep counting, as well as the spider poetry/description. Like I said, full course meal, lots of stuff here.
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

It's been, perhaps, a little bit too long since I did one of these. Never fear faithful readers of reviews, I still intend to finish these! (Realizes he is still on Round One). Hopefully before next year... Ahem!

[spoiler= Virtue And Terror]Silas, Post Numero Two.

Sorry Nire, I feel like 'Bard's Bane' is already taken by some radical (probably deaf) killer mouse determined to rid the world of music. Muddy Assassin... is er- rather unimpressive. I mean, with nick-names like that... no wonder so many people try to assassinate you!

And with such pizazz! Flying in on a hawk! Disguising oneself as a pillar (this one is more... style over substance to be honest, sounds really cool but I don't imagine standing in place for a very long period of time pretending to be a pole of rock is very fun) And of course those plans failed. Bet the hawk was in Nire's pocket. And the pillar disguise wasn't very good.

And Adeen shows up again, the little snoop. I mean, good on her for not burning those letters but reading them without permission... she's a better spy than James Bond anyways- far more subtle. Far more discreet. And I assuuuume the medic is Aera of Madder Barrow. 'No he couldn't help it, it was a pain reflex!' I feel like I laugh too much at some of these lines...

And then the short chapter ends on the grim note of the Thrasher... thrashing... 0.o and I'm not laughing anymore. I think one of the most terrifying parts of the Crater is that you could be taken out for 'training' and then be pitted against somebeast far above your paygrade. RIP Bog, Renny and Gerda. I *do* like the Thrasher though. Lizard gladiator. With a big battle axe and no sense of mercy. Well, like the concept more than the person :P

A nice, necessary recap chapter, if not quite as eventful as the previous one (but the previous one was like... eight pages long sooooo).



[/spoiler]