Grey's Greyt Out-of-Date Reviews!

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=Desperation And Inspiration] 

The dream sequence- or rather, the nightmare sequence- one of my favourite literary tropes because of how easy it is to do fancy things like 'symbolism' and 'foreshadowing'. I thiiiink this nightmare does neither and is more of a flashback-albeit one with extra bits of shock, horror and gore attached. And there is some symbolism I supose with the 'red' swallowing her son up. Red like the walls of the abbey.

'Here, beasts yelled at her and threw things if she sang in the middle of the night.' For shame! Imagine not being able to sing in the middle of the night! Don't get me wrong, I understand the pain Komi, I just find the way it's put hilarious.

Nothing like a nice midnight drink-of-water for when you can't sleep properly. I don't think past lovers are obligatory *or* help much with sleep but hey- we need that 'bitter-exes' drama. Granted, Aldridge and Komi aren't exactly bitter exes (well, Aldridge isn't *biiter*)... it's just... complicated. And mysterious! Or well, a mystery at this point in the story. Also, surprised noone threw something at Aldridge for being so loud. 'Aldridge asked loudly, his voice edged on panic.' He was loud.

I appreciate that Komi at least is trying to think of a way out of the Crater. A way to escape. Walls to scale, tunnels to duck into. All under Mr Happley's nose.

Or... not quite. Things could have gone poorly there if Komi had her dagger, but luckily for Kentrith he's the one armed. With a scalpel, true, but scalpels are sharp. Also, to be fair Kentrith! Maaaaaybe you shouldn't have told her about the access pits to the scorpions if you didn't want her running off. Didn't think about *that* did you?

And then we get to see the scorpions in action! Sort of. We get to see the scorpions and no, I do not think any sane creature fancies fighting them. Still, the jerk ferret bought it. And now Komi is plotting her escape from the scorpion pit... way to go Kentrith! XD
[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=Haunted]
Admittedly I didn't quite 'get' Kentrith on my first readthrough. Didn't quite get him on the second either. I'm not entirely sure I get him now either to be fair, but he has grown on me. Now, not all I'm about to say applies to this post directly, but alas that is the issue with reading the whole thing more times than I should before you know... reviewing <.< >.> Aaaaanyways, what I like about Kentrith now but kind of found odd at first. So, he has one of the more serious gladiator plotlines- and that is not to say that the other glads don't have their own weight, but plot-wise and in terms of importance he's got the whole rebellion thing going, as this chapter makes it real clear that he returned to the Crater to do a certain lynx in. So he's important to the story in a serious way that kind of sort of calls for gravitas and then behind Kali I feel like he brings in the most laughs (moreso after multiple reads to be fair, but I mean... at some point he feels a bit like this story's answer to Johnny English, bumbling secret agent on who's shoulders the world rests upon but I'm not entirely sure if some of that was intentional or just because I'm not reading it right :P). So, in a way, he's... too funny? At least it sometimes feels that way for me- which is weird because I love a laugh, I adore the ridiculous and the more bonkers the better. Usually. This is more a general comment anyways because in this chapter at least I think you struck a very good balance between the two

Having said that I'm going to praise the laughs you did get out of me here and there were quite a few. I like his brief interaction with Hagorn (and Hagorn's 'wassaghoul' line) quite a bit, but I feel the main chuckle is his confrontation with Aldridge and the spoon pointed at his throat. 'Pretend it's a knife?' There's the little scuffle, the minor scrap and then 'something metal at his throat' and you know the normal inference is usually something sharp but then Kentrith looks down and it's a spoon and I love that. (I also love Aldridge's line where he's talking about how he saw somebeast holding it and 'twisted it out of their grip'- and imagining the look of shock and horror on the poor slave waiting-for-lunch's face when this mad stoat comes and steals their spoon for NO REASON). Kentrith gives Aldridge some sound advice about not attacking trainers in public, and also covers for him pretty well.

And the funny scene comes to an end with the grim reminder that anyone can die at any moment. The 'nobeast was safe in the Crater' line.

We get some nice foreshadowing of Komi's-son-being-alive here (which I guess goes to show how far the planning went with that) with the line of Kentrith's mind being 'tickled' by the name. Obviously he heard it before, Tavin's probably mentioned his mum a couple of times. I also really like the flashback! For two reasons. One being that I absolutely adore flashbacks, but that's not a real reason. No, I like it because of Kentrith's amazing 'It's just like cutting away dead flesh to allow new growth' line, which hammers home how socially awkward being The Crane has made him. And also because it sets up a major theme that will 'haunt' (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, points at title) some of our heroes from hereon out. The 'start killing and it's hard to stop' line.

I also like his interaction with Nix here. Highlights another reason he came back but also it's really fun to look at Nix from the point of view of someone who wasn't just captured by her. She remains somewhat sympathetic despite her eeeeevil ways and of course Marik only makes her that much more sympathetic.

Also, also, I don't even know if some of this foreshadowing is intentional or just a happy coincidence (it certainly makes *me* a happy coincidence) but 'come Hellgates or flooding water', well the climax has both in spades. Cleeearly Nire didn't post enough guards. Also, also, everyone loves a hunchback and Marik is a cinamon roll. Not just because dibbuns swarm him, but also yes. Because dibbuns swarm him.

Speaking of dibbuns... I am glad I read all of Thrayjen first. The surprise of Helix and Verna being alive would have been somewhat spoiled by er-

'No wrinkles, pillows must be at the head of the bed, and Helix!" A small hedgehog froze. "Get all the food out of your bed and onto the table! You'll attract insects!"

This. Also I love that Marik emphasizes 'must' there. Is it habitual for the dibbuns to put their pillows *under* the bed?

And then we have the real punchline of the chapter. 'What if Nire were dead?' and Kent has carved his place into the plot with hammer and scalpel.

Favourite line, Prooobably either

'Pretend it's a knife?'

or

'That's exactly what I was talking about!" he exclaimed. "The element of surprise!" while covering for said spoon incident.

And of course there's always going to be this one...

''It's just like cutting away dead flesh to allow new growth'

Great work Kentrith, I like you more every time I read you.




[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=Entry Of The Gladiators]

Now I said in the previous review that Kentrith is the character, behind Kali, that gets the most laughs. And that is because every Kali chapter and scene has a dozen things to make one chuckle/guffaw/choke on your food.

And this chapter is of course no exception. I love that we start in a dream sequence, even though like the last one it's really more of one of those big bad flashback- with exagerations. Because let's be honest, Silas' head-wound is far too deep to come from only *one* lute to the face :P And Kali is exactly the type of person to hit a person... a biiiiit more than necessary when the time comes for it XD

And I think everything up until Nire's 'hey you still have your singing voice' was a flashback, and if I am correct then... damn Nire. Nice to see you can be nice :P. The rest was a nightmare of course and it ends with everyone's flying fox getting her head bit off.

Kali wakes up and proceeds to talk to herself. And I would make a joke about 'quarantine getting to her' but I'm not that good at making jokes. And this really... isn't the year for it >.> But I do find it hilarious that her 'mirror-self' is so condescending towards her :P

I like her interactions with Baxter and the cartoonish, over-the-top descriptions of the their actions (like how Baxter's eyes only open up enough for Kali to see how bloodshot they are).

And Aldridge again. Fitting I suppose Aldridge does strike me as a bit of an 'everybeast'. In other words he's 'a people person'. One line of dialogue I feel is classic Aldridge, dry humor and all, 'A crack or a dent I could fix, but this, Miss Kali, (holds up her lute, bent at a 90 degree angle) is kindling.' But of course Aldy is a nice guy and follows Kali along to try and help her get her lute fixed. They even cross through the treacherous spider-pit together!

But then it's time to perform and Kali has to race back to Nire.  And of course we get more of Blasio here being a jerky jerk. I kind of like it though, that whenever Nire and Blasio share the screen, Nire comes across as more morally righteous.

"Blasio," Nire said through a toothy smile, "One of the reasons I like you, is that you know when to drop a subject before I get angry." I mean, I know he later goes back on this but I think it's nice that he doesn't have Kali immediately thrown into the arena. Of course Nire is a bad. guy. And I'm pretty sure the only reason he very much liked Kali's song butchered-on-purpose, was because the song was about 'good' things like 'love' and 'green valleys' and 'blue roses' and whatnot.

'This is the best moment of my career, this is.' Oh Kali. This line and the whole speech before it is so endlessly quotable.

And I love the scene with the gladiator battle. I absolutely adore it. It feels so in-line and in-tune with Kali's character. Kali, the ever-naive bat. 'No holds barred bloodsport' and yet she's surprised when somebeast's head flies :P

MINOR NITPICK... because well, most of my nitpicks are minor to begin with buuuut... Tigers in Redwall? 'Every Yin needs it's Yang', kiiind of takes me a bit away from the setting (or rather, my concept of the setting). I don't know, just not something I'd expect in a Redwall thing. (And yes this is being super-nitpicky because Kali is a flying fox, but I have to be nitpicky because there are no glaring errors to look at and comment on -.- How dare you write this good!)

Favourite line: Going to have to be Kali summarising her career :P

Wiping her wing across her eyes Kali turned to the fox with a forced smile, "I got to finish a song for once. No rotten fruit thrown at my head, no beasts running me off. I finished a song. This is the best moment of my career, this is. So, don't you ruin it by feeling sorry for me."

But a close runner-up for the title is this gem.

Cupping her wings together Kali shouted, "Come on Tiger! Knock his head off!"

And then, with a flash of steel and a splatter of blood, the Tiger did just so.

Kali's jaw went slack, ears flattening against her skull as the crowd around her went wild.





[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler= Business For A Busy Beast]
I still stand by the statement that Kentrith is the funniest after Kali... If only... because he lives longer than Sly. Ahem, minor spoilers I hope noone reads this review before reading the fic (one advantage to being three years late to the party I guess). However when I said that I had forgotten about Sly (d-d-does this mean I-I'm like B-B-Blasio???)

That's my very roundabout way of saying that Sly is funny and dominates every scene he is in through shere force of verbiage. I could have started with that but alas I do not work in straight lines.  But I love the little things here. (You and I both know that Giggles isn't fond of her nick-name) Itch and his wooden spoon (unless I recall incorrectly we never see Itch again so... honestly... I like to think he dug his way out with that wooden spoon and while everyone was busy gladiatoring Itch had a whole secret tunnel built to get him out. All courtesy of Mr Speakeasy).

Damn weasel. Taking my money before I even lose. What a scam. Wish I'd thought of it.


Indeed, a great scam. I *do* like the way this and the next two or so chapters are weaved together, and it starts of course with Sly betting all 'his' money on his 'long time friend' and 'personal hero' Kentigern- y'know... the guy he met the other day :P

And of course Sly does his best to *make* sure he wins. Clever of him to hide his colar behind the headband, but rude of him to call others lowly slaves when he's not much richer :P Alas time is money and my time is short- means your money is too. Guess Sly didn't think that through. We get a bit of info ahead of Thrayjen and Kentigern's match about their opponents and lo-di-da he rushes forwards to give the important information to his friend and the Crackin' he has 'equal faith in'.

He runs into the biggest jerk in the Crater (at least Nire cares about *showmanship*) and they have a brief spat and alas, I wish Sly *had* managed to wipe the smirk off of Buck's ugly face. Oh what could have been!... But that's for later.



[/spoiler]

[The Grey Coincidence]

I feel like I should have heaped the last chapter in with these two. They just flow really well, and I know that all of the chapters are connected (yes, yes, I know, it's only one story) and all that but these last three feel the most intricately woven-together. At least as far as Round One is concerned. In any case I am nearly at the end of Round One! Laughs in this is going to take a while

[spoiler= Kentigern Two]

The spoiler doesn't open if I put your title in here. Sorry Kent. I love your title I feel it works well because Kent is the crazy beast so obviously he shouldn't lose his head, and then there's Raggabrash too so good job on making a catchy title!

I love that everyone at this point knows how big a scumbag Hagorn is and no dialogue is necessary for everyone to know what he said to Minerva. Or, some version of what he said to Minerva. Also yes, Minerva's idea of practicing is studying others for weaknesses and this fits because, technically, Minerva is a serial killer. I hear they are generally very observant. I like that she calls Kentigern out on his Kentigerness- about time someone did you know. Thrayjen may be too polite for it, but Minerva says it how it is. And Kentigern's realization that er- th-that he could die and his family would never know why? Hurts a bit when you already know his final fate :P (ALSO! Surprised noone wrote an app about his daughter trying to find Loft Kris for MOV, that feels like it would've fit right in)

Sly comes along to whisk Kentigern away from his scolding and I like the little tip Minerva gives him about widening his footpaw. Your Mileage May Vary on this but erm... <.< >.> you and I both know that prior to this Minerva was like 'yes, the hare over there has a weak stance and his footpaw isn't wide enough, *that*'s how I'll kill him if we ever have to fight'.

Moooving on from Minerva's murderous tendencies... I feel like I relate to Sly here. He says something as an excuse and then immediately forgets he said it. Alas, such are the issues with being far too witty for one's own good.

As they exited, Kentigern turned to Sly. "Ah appreciate yer time, lad, but ye kin tell Nire ah dinnae need a chaperone."

"What?" Sly gave him a brief glance of confusion, before letting out a short laugh.

ALSO, thank you Kentigern. I love that your posts don't have question marks everywhere. I-it's so much easier to copy and paste stuff off of it. Thank you for being considerate to those who review your things three years after you post them. (To the other cast people, yes yes, I know, forum bug)

I love that Sly acts like he knows all this information himself. Eloquency certainly makes him appear smarter than he is and so he gives Kent the hare's battle strategy for the day. Aim for Raggabrash (yes, very good name, go you namer-person, you know who you are) and leave Ripfang for your 'searat friend'.

The vole gave him a cheery wave and sauntered down the hallway.

I like to think that Sly proceeded to sprint towards the stands as fast he could, his heartbeat ridiculously high from all the tension of possibly losing all his hard-earned money on the first tournament fight of the story (well... second counting Tiger and Wolf... and third if we count the Direbeast... gosh there's a lot of fighting in this thing).

Thrayjen turned around. He made as if to approach the hare, but Kentigern fixed him with a piercing glare. The highlander allowed himself a small inward grin of satisfaction when Thrayjen stood helplessly for a moment, before deciding against coming up to him.

Jerk.

Kentigern shook his head. He'll likely need a wee bit o' help tae survive.


I *do* like though that, as much of a jerk as he is, he's not quite willing to throw his partner to the weasels, rat or otherwise. There's another line to this effect later on.

Kentigern looked back to find the rat. Thrayjen was on the defensive, struggling to parry Ripfang's wild strikes with his trident. The weasel was whooping in delight as he rained blow after blow down on the rat. Dinnae worry, ah'll halp ye in a moment, Kentigern promised inwardly. Just allow me tae halp yer brother tae Hellgates first.

And yes, he kind of spoils the moment by refering to Raggabrash as Thrayjen's brother, but when faced with a character like Kentigern I like to look for the good in him. He's not big enough a jerk that I can love hating him, so I suppose I just have to find things to like about him. Few and far between though those things may be...

BUT THIS FIGHT IS ONE OF THEM!!! YOU GO KENTIGERN! YOU INSULT THAT WEASEL'S FACE!

Ahem.

Very nice work on the Kentigern accent btw, props for that. But what I think is most applaudable is that Kentigern still acts like a hare from the books. Granted, he's not quite as upfront and personal or in your face as Basil Stag Hare, but Kent does get to say the very hareish lines. Which are my favourite of the chapter.

Favourite lines:

Kentigern gave him breezy smile. "Ach, laddie. Ah had tae take a moment there, ah apologize. Yer ugliness caught me off guard. Dae ye use it tae kill yer opponents usually?"

The weasel snarled and advanced toward the hare. "Youse thinks yer funny, huh?"

"Nae, laddie," responded Kentigern, eyes wide with innocence. "Ah'm just givin' ye respect fer yer natural weapons. Deadly, yer face."

On that note I also have to say that I like Raggabrash and his brother. I feel like they are entirely justified to pursue a life of murder and death and killing (I mean... most vermin do, amiright or amiKentigern?) Especially since they used to be slaves! And they even asked to be partners! C-can we just talk about how wholesome these two are as a pair of gladiators? Like (and I figure this is why Ripfang is known as 'the Wild) the younger one has a speech/mental problem but Raggabrash still looks after him and ensures that he has a living. And I know what you're thinking- Grey, he's called the Beheader, isn't it obvious that he's really evil?- but if one were to think far too much about it for a long period of time one would come to the conclusion that *actually* beheading is a very quick way to die (comparatively speaking) and that this might have been Raggabrash's way to show mercy to his opponents. Raggabrash is of course a very merciful, kind and compassionate person.

Ahem, went off on a tangent there. I love Kentigern's fight. It's a real rollercoaster of combat. I love the way the motions of the swords are described and how Kent is losing ground until he remembers Minerva's advice and then he widens his stance a bit and he's no longer on the defensive. And then he disarms Raggabrash, but then Raggabrash has a knife!!! but then Kentigern wins anyways and then he's about to end his opponent when he trips on the net and then oh no!!! Kent's down and entangled and Raggabrash is teaching him a little lesson about pain.

Masterfully done, Mister Macraff.
[/spoiler]

That review took me far longer than I expected...

[spoiler= Chest Out]

First off, here's a cookie for title planning. Chin Up, Chest Out- I see what you did there! And I reward you for it with internet cookies. No Malware, I promise, and all virus free.

Now let's get Crackin' Hracken! Your fight scene is also awesome! First Ripfang is all 'rawr, attack, attack, swing, swing, cheer-on-my-brother' and Thrayjen is tripping over himself (big beast, big target amiright?) but then Thrayjen decides he values his life more than his values of not hurting people (and his plan to let Kentigern handle everything doesn't work anymore because Kentigern is now getting the snot punched out of him... granted only because Thrayjen threw a net badly, but in his defense a net is a very niche weapon). He then vaults over Ripfang while simultaneously stabbing his leg (and I'm not going to fault the physics here because the image is awesome) and slamming his trident (the blunt part) into Ripfang's nose.

Now can we talk about how Raggabrash is such a good brother again? Look how quickly he goes to help out his little bro! Look how angry he is someone hurt him! But before we can see how well Thrayjen will do against this opponent Kentigern comes along and takes out his opponent with a sneak attack. And then we get to my second favourite part of the chapter.

That pathetic mess had wanted to hurt him, and he had delighted in it.

The rat's eyes narrowed and anger rose in his chest.

The Blackwhisker's Emergeth! I really like the recurring motif of anger/heat rising in his chest whenever he taps into his darker side.  Ripfang is now helpless and entirely at Thrayjen's mercy, what with his brother now getting the snot beaten out of him- and he starts crying like the pathetic wimp he is and Thrayjen relents. And then we get to see the Thrayjen we all love again, the polite tea rat. I love that he's trying to apologise/comfort Ripfang in a way with the whole 'You'll live' and Ripfang can go and glare all he wants Thrayjen *did* just spare his life.

I'm not entirely sure if getting your foot pierced by a trident would result in permeneant crippleness. Sure, you'd limp, and I'm pretty sure Raggabrash and Ripfang retire after *this* match but would is it really that big a deal when the alternative is getting murdered and listening to your fans cheer for your killers?

"What are ye tryin' tae play at? Ah was hearin' bells and you're dancin' around like a useless bairn! Why did ye pretend ye couldnae fight? Did ye want me tae die? Ye shouldnae have told me ye couldnae fight! Why did ye nae help me sooner?!"

To be fair Kentigern, he did offer to spar with you twice. Not his fault you refused him. Also, also, he never said he couldn't fight. You asumed it.

Having said that I love that Kentigern is as irrational as this. He *is* the beast that may or may not be crazy. Sometimes, like here, he's cray-cray, but then you have the other more touching moments of him being nice and he doesn't seem all that cray-cray.

Ah poor Thrayjen, tooth split in half sounds pretty painful. I do find it hilarious though that Blue and Hagorn have the routine of extracting such a tooth down pat. I also like that Blue pockets it. Believes in the tooth-fairy, eh?

"Miss Blue, my dear, you did it, and on such short notice! You do your father proud! Tell him I said that, won't you? You do us all very proud." Yes, making the Blackwhiskers into a competent fighter. Who could have possibly done it :P I love the way Nire talks though, so polite and aristocratic. And the way he congratulates them both? Why, you'd have no idea Hracken was just some slave.

And then a hare and a rat walk into a bar. I like that Blue's dad was influential enough to get both his kids into relatively high-ranking (well-paying) parts of the Crater's economic system. "Your trainer is my sister," the ferret explained. "Name's Plockette." Clearly Blue has mentioned her 'big new rat' to her brother. To be fair one does not often meet someone with manners as refined as Thrayjen's.

"You told me," Thrayjen began sharply, eyes narrowing, "To stay out of your way and let you handle everything. You ordered me to stay away, least you cut me down in battle." Thrayjen's grip tightened around his mug. A thin crack begin to appear where one of his claws curled inward. "You act like you're my master, yet without me I am certain you'd be drinking with your ancestors. You're welcome for the help," the rat spat, slamming his mug upon the bar top and rising off his seat to meet Kentigern's glaring eyes. "You know I can fight, now. So does Nire. He'll never let me go, not for anything. If I had kept my head down, stayed quiet, remained forgettable, I could have one day slipped into a collar with a different symbol. Now I can't. That's on you." Heat welled in Thrayjen's chest and his split lips curled back to bear his fangs. "Master MacRaff."

I really like this. After all the little shoves Kent has been sending Thrayjen's way, to finally have Mr Polite snap at him is very satisfying.

Having said that, lucky Sly interrupted, amiright? Things could have turned nasty what with the whole 'heat-in-chest' thing. Especially since bar fights can have er- very high kill counts.

The scene that follows, where they all get drunk and wasted and start doing dumb drunk-people things, is the best part though. As soon as Sly enters the scene and steals Mac's Ale things change and Thrayjen and Kentigern are no longer at each other's throats and after all the fighting and tension and death and murder we get a nice scene where everyone is friendly and kind to each other. Kent shoots a barb, Thrayjen shoots back and I have a whole list of favourite lines for this one.

"Growin' flowers," Kentigern scoffed. "What kind o' vermin grows flowers?"

"One who sold tea and honey to feed his family," Thrayjen replied curtly.

This one...

"What dae ye say ta that, rat?" Kentigern goaded Thrayjen, but the rat only shrugged.

"Did you expect me to keep up?" Thrayjen said lightly. "I'm a slave. I don't have money to compete with you."

Kentigern spluttered, almost dropping the jug. "Fine!" he exclaimed, slamming the pitcher down. "Fine. Ye didnae stab me in the back while ah was fightin' so ah suppose ah'll take example from Sly an' say thanks wi' a drink. Just one, though, rat!" Kentigern added hastily. "Cannae have ye souring the mood while Sly an' I have ah good time."

This

"The noble tuber!" Sly shouted, placing a paw over his heart.

And then Thrayjen starts talking about his kids and at first it's heartwarming and sweet and nice, because d'aaaw isn't it sweet that they tried to follow him and then fell asleep while doing so?

Of course, things turn sour when Thrayjen, despite all the alchohol, brings up the fact that they're most likely dead, and it's a very natural reaction I think. A quiet grief. And I like Kentigern's reaction. He looks away coz he just can't face the fact that Thrayjen is a genuinely nice person because it clashes so vividly with his pre-existing beliefs. I like the way that was done.

Then Kali comes in and they start dancing on the tables and singing along and we get more happy lines like this one

'Kentigern and Sly joined in, oblivious to the flinching and spastic motions Plockette was making every time Kali sang a line. '

And let's be honest any scene with Kali is bound to be uplifting. I also feel like Kali reeeeeally needed something like this after what she just saw/realized goes on in the Crater. It's such a nice, uplifting scene and seeing Kentigern, Kali, Thrayjen and Sly happy and drunk and stupid is just really, really nice considering all that's happened in previous chapters and all that is to come.

"Nan would not be happy seeing me like this," Thrayjen slurred between hiccups, starring into his empty cup.

Yes. She'd drag you by the ear and put you in bed. Naughty rascal.

Sly patted him on the back sympathetically.

"Don't dwell on what's behind you when what's ahead is vastly more important," the vole advised, and pushed another drink towards Thrayjen. Thrayjen looked at Sly, then at the drink, and then threw up on the floor.

"You'll live," Sly said with a wink.

TLDR, I need to draw the Winner's Lounge Drunk Revelry scene, definetly my single favourite scene in Round One so props to the Fantastic Four involved (let's seeeeeeee, Kali would be the Invisble Woman, Kentigern would be The Thing, Sly would be the Vole Torch and that leaves Thrayjen as Captain Stretchy (but he only ever stretches his tail) and now I want this superhero team up).
[/spoiler]

[Wednesdays Child]

I realised I haven't piped up yet - thank you very much for these!   :D

[Thrayjen]

These reviews are so entertaining and appreciated. I dont think I've ever thanked you for putting the time in to rereading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much, and remain flattered Thrayjen was your favourite character.

Name pronounciation: thray as in hay, jen as in Jennifer

Want to know a secret? I'm a beast with a few of those, you know...
Thrayjen's name is a bastardization of the Roman Emperor Trajan.

[The Grey Coincidence]

Remember when I said this was going to take a while?

No seriously, this took so long there's a fun warning message at the top informing me it's been over 120 days.

Still determined to finish these, even if I am old and (insert joke about already being Grey) by then. No reason in particular or at all that these aren't done yet. In fact I was looking forwards to this chapter for a while so really, no escuse. Blame faulty work ethic.

Thank you Wednesday and Thrayjen for your words of encouragement!

Yeeeeeeees Thrayjennifer makes more sense than my original pronounciation of Thray (like... ryhming with thigh, so Thrigh) Jen (like Gen from Generation). Confounded vowels and phonetics.

Thanks for the secret! But I am now almost a hundred percent sure I am mispronouncing Trajan's name. (Tra like... rhyming with bra and jan like in January, right?)

[spoiler=The One Where Minerva Fights The Wearet]

To start off, I realize I need to draw Minerva as an anime character with a stupidly large fishhook. They joy of rereading is finiding newfound inspiration in every word. And I have found it, and it is glorious.

Moving on to the chapter itself, gotta say I like Hammerpaw. Not as a person- he seems like a nasty guy (although perhaps this is a front he puts up in the arena and ends up taking off outside of The Crater where he is simply known as Clive. Purely speculation, but similarly to Raggabrash there is no reason this can't simply be narrative bias. Alas, and spoiler alert, Hammerpaw shall hammer no more an we shall never know.)

Either way as far as concepts go, wearet gladiator rocks because wearets are cool.

I like the concept of the Culling too, as dark as it is. Gotta thin out the herd on occasion. Maaaaaaaaybe somewhat an ineffecient system because well, you just got half these slaves, but I suppose Nire makes up for it with match revenue. I bet seats in the arena are priced by the hour.

Shoutout to Unnamed Squirrel who tried to kill Nire. In another universe he was the hero of this story and Nire died that day. In this universe, he wasn't quick enough on the draw.

I also really like that Nire just decides 'I'll make the monster fight, spice things up a bit'. Whoever's name was on that card he read should feel pretty lucky. Their match was postponed, and depending on when/where Nire threw that piece of paper maybe even cancelled!

I like her interactions with Silas. They're not buddies by any means, but they do each other a big favour here, Silas by reading Adeen's super secret message (even after Minerva told him to leave, how rude) and Minerva by giving him a pro tip in regards to fighting the Hammerpaw. And a good thing she did too, coz I'm nooooooot sure how else Silas would have gotten past the Culling. Well... maybe if Blasio laughed at him he'd have gotten his Vengeance Fueled Power Boost...

Before her talk with Silas Minerva comes up with a plan, but the audience doesn't know what it is yet. And now I feel is the time I should praise the foreshadowing. There's the blood that comes out of her mouth. Her silence (but I mean, she's the Stoic so not toooo surprising that she's quiet) and her refusal to make the first move. The way she handles all the insults Hammerpaw throws at her. (Noooo idea why, but I feel like Hammerpaw would be good in a rap battle- I especially liked the Mr Monster taunt. Bad bad guys are fun) and instead, by virtue of her silence she forces the wearet to make the first move. Well actually it was those guys in the audience who I picture as wearing giant Hammerpaw #1 Foam Fingers who did that, but my point still stands.

She blinds him, goes in for some ranged attacks, but Hammerpaw has a shield, so he can handle having a few stones chucked his way. She charges first knowing he can't reeeeeeeeeeeally hurt her, and stabs him.

I really dig the fight choreography here by the way. Absolutely top notch. There's fantastic continous movement, there's always something more exciting happening after the next. The battle is continously escalating is what I mean to say.

So now that the Hammerpaw is panting and wounded (two things that didn't happen before, so he might be panicking a little) he gets to use the sharp side of his sword! And now there's extra risk involved and Minerva can't really get away with risky plays.

So she breaks the rules, gets away with it, spits out the fishhook and takes Hammerpaw down with such ruthless efficiency that you almost pity the guy. But that pity also comes with the standard feeling of triumph whenever the protag succeeds, and that pity is also kind of non-existent the first few read-throughs. Sorry Hammy :P

There is only one part in the chapter that I will nitpick, and that is that Minerva's speech near the end before she's darted, reminds me of Russel Crowe's Gladiator. I remember the first time I read it it kind of took me out of it. Like, it was a little jarring. I don't think it's bad or anything I just remember that I quote popular movies in writing all the tiiiiiime and then end up dying a little on reread and this feels like something like that? Again there's nothing wrong with it, I just thought it was a little too on-the-nose as a reference (though I also understand it could have been something more subconcious, who wouldn't watch Gladiator for inspiration when writing about gladiators?) I am probably making way too big a deal out of this (and thus molehills became mountains) but that is because this is the only flaw I find in a chapter that is otherwise entirely my cup of hot chocolate.

Also, I wonder if Blasio, being the person that he is, would complain if someone clawed the Hammerpaw to death. 'She used *FIVE* fingers! And *TWO* teeth! That's a total of *NINE* weapons Nire! *NINE!* That's against the rules!' Because, while the fishing hook did do damage, does it reeeeeeeally count as a weapon. I would argue the belt she used to trip up the Hammerpaw was just as vital to bringing the wearet down. But what do I know, rules are rules I suppose.

FAVOURITE LINE: Hmmm, Minerva isn't a particularly expressive or vocal individual, but I don't reeeeeeally want to give this honour to Hammerpaw considering all the lines I'd choose for him are er- variations of him being rude and insulting. So I'll give it to this interaction with Silas


"Wait!" she called and the rat paused in his tracks. Minerva shifted from side to side as a wave of embarrassment flooded over her. "I- I can't read. I never learned how," she explained to him quietly. Swallowing her pride in front of the vermin, she continued, "Can you? Err... can ye read it t' me? Please?"

Because it humanises her, shows she's not so above it all and begins her rather nice friendship with Silas. It's always nice to see the other side of beasts. Minerva, tough, brooding, staring endlessly and plotting the demises of all around her, calculating weaknesses, doesn't know how to read. If Minerva was watching Minerva she would deduce that the easiest way to beat her was to throw a dictionary her way.

Love this chapter, absolutely great work! Looking forwards to more!


[/spoiler]

[foxpen]

The emperor Trajan is, to the best of my knowledge, pronounced like "Tray" + "Gen", but the beauty of Redwall is no matter how you pronounce it, there's a dozen other folk who pronounce it the way you do too! XD

Take your time, the story, and I, aren't going anywhere! :)

[The Grey Coincidence]

[spoiler=Death Follows Close Behind] While Minerva does battle with the Hammerpaw, Komi tries to steal away. Good plan! Escape while everyone is distracted, they will never see it coming.

It is a very tense, gripping chapter. Those with claustrophobia are not advised to read it. Komi(who for some reason my phone insists on correcting to Mimi)'s escape plan kind of goes flawlessly. She squeezes past the scorpion bars, putting her stoat spine to good use, squuueezes into the other tunnel after some perilous dangling/acrobatics above a pit of scorpions (don't try this at home kids) and then is on her way to freedom! And she's nearly out! She almost makes it out!

But then Dumb Vermin #1 and #2 who forgot to load a scorpion in before... Load the scorpion into the pit through the tunnel Komi is trying to escape from. Guess the timing wasn't perfect after all :/

Komi hastily backtracks and in a heart-racing moment nearly falls into the scorpion pit. She decides her life is worth more than her freedom and calls for help.

She is rescued! And everyone applauds Random Guard #89 for their excellent trick with the loop. And Komi is pulled to safety and everyone breathes a sigh of relief because the Scorpion Pit was scary.

Buuut before the reader can get complacent More shows up and is angry. So he chains Komi up to Minerva to further their character arcs punish both of them! Well, Nire is good at getting under people's skins!

Favourite line: Hmmm- hard to say because this one has... Almost no dialogue? And I usually pick dialogue for this- buuut I'll hand it to the description of the scorpion. 'A great many somethings scuttling on the ground'- creepy.

[/spoiler]

And done! Just over a year but I have knocked a Round off of my review list. Go me.

Here is a celebratory Kill Count for your viewing pleasure! Only for the Top Ten of course because there are far too many deaths and characters to keep track of. And remember guys, technically, all kills belong to Nire.

Standing at Zero unless I miscounted we have the following:

Silas- Would have been one but Kali got in the way, better luck next time

Kali- Almost there Kali! Another few hits with the loot might have done Silas in.

Thrayjen- Does Crippling someone count as a half-kill? Not sure. Rounded the foot business to nil either way.

Sly- None that I can recall. Too busy talking to murder people.

Kentigern- Oh I'm sure he *wants* to do some killing, but none this round.

With one kill each to their name we have:

Aldridge- he shot one of the Guards In Blue that came to Madder Barrow

Kentrith- Rest In Peace Direbeast, you will be missed.

Next up, standing at three each:

Adeen- I am unsure if I should count App kills as well, but being a Widow is important enough to the character as a whole that I feel I should count it. So you have three! But I'm not counting other App Kills because that gives... Certain apps... a high lead I imagine.

Minerva- The Hedgehog and Fox Hunters in her first post and then the Hammerpaw in her second. Nooot counting the stringed up bodies she has around her territory.

And finally, she with the bloodiest paws yet! Komi Banton.

Not counting her App Kill, in her first post she stabs a rat above the hip (not sure if that was a fatality but I'm gonna count it as one), then a fox in the neck, then she leaves two more dead and a third to die by nightfall and then there's one more that she murders during the Madder Barrow Battle. So, unless my counting is wrong, Komi has six kills on her paws by the end of Round One. Can she stay ahead? Or will the Monster and Widow catch up?