Heaven or Hell? Let's Rock!

[Rath the Whirlwind]

?So? bested by a bird??

Despite the harshness of the words, the edge of it all was blunted as Rath offered a faint grin toward Venril.  The ferret and stoat sat by the edge of the river near their delegated training grounds, the latter very much flustered and out of breath.  He glared up at his mentor.

?By all rights and purposes,? he panted, ?it doesn?t even make sense.?  The captain kicked moodily at the water?s murky surface, dashing it in all directions.  ?What in the world could Eliza see in that? that thing?? 

Rath cocked his head.  ?For that matter, what do you see in her?? The warrior made sure to spend as little time around the persnickety marten as he possibly could, and there was a reason for that.  ?She?s? disagreeable.?

?Don?t say that!? Venril snapped, and the ferret blinked.  Such a heated response, and from Venril of all creatures, was an unexpected blow indeed.

"You're just saying that 'cause you don't know her," the stoat continued once he'd regained a bit more of his breath.  "I know she can be a little aloof, but when you talk to her she's so witty and smart and-and...well, I mean, to go through all she's been through and still be like she is..."  The stoat sighed in frustration.  "I thought maybe she'd start to notice me, but then that bird comes along, and next thing I know she just brushes me off.  I can't stop thinking about her, though."

The ferret narrowed his good eye.  ?Is that so??

"Yeah."  Venril glared at his own reflection.  "I think she still sees me as just a squeaky little runt not even worth her time, though.  I've learned so much from these practices, and I just wish there was some way to show her that I'm worth noticing.  Or at least that I'm worth more than a bird."

In a moment?s notice, Rath had drawn his axe and was on his paws.  ?Prepare yourself.?

Venril blinked.  ?Wait, what?  I thought we were taking a break!? he protested, struggling to assume a defensive posture as his footpaws scrabbled for surface on the slippery ground.

?You want to prove yourself worthy of protecting her?? Rath grunted. ?Then you must be prepared at any moment.?  He smirked.  ?And you have to be able to defeat me.? 

The ferret watched as his apprentice leveled his sword in preparation to parry.  Rath bit back a snarl; the stoat was still playing defensive.

And then, suddenly, it was as if an old oil lamp had shattered inside the stoat, and an odd light glistened and burned in his eyes.  With a very Un-Venril-like roar, the stoat barreled forward, the fear that had lingered on his fur for the past few days all but burned away.

And Rath smiled.  Now.  That?s more like it.

He turned aside the questing sword with a clash of steel on steel, and knocked the stoat flat on his back with a mighty countering sweep of the axe.  Like a spring, Venril was back on his footpaws in a beat.  He dashed toward his combatant, performing an awkward, but earnest hopskip to the side as Rath?s axe cleaved the air where he used to be, and then the stoat sliced at the ferret?s side in a glancing blow that was just barely parried. 

Battle fire burned brightly in Rath?s veins; he couldn?t remember the last time he had felt so good about fighting.  He stepped back, twirling his axe.  ?Hmph.  Not bad, pup.  Now??

?Rath!?

The ferret gnashed his teeth, whirling on the unfortunate weasel loping toward him.  Greenfang winced, backing away from the incensed warrior. 

?Don?t mean ter interrupt nothin?, but Cap?n Matukhana wants ter see yer.?

Rath scowled.  ?Can?t it wait?? he growled.  He was afraid that Venril might lose what little fighting spirit he?d had.

?Well?? The weasel fidgeted.  ?I wouldn?t keep ?im waitin? if I were you.  Cap?n?s a bad sport about that kinda thing.? 

By the claw! Rath gripped the axe so tightly that he felt as if he could have broken it cleanly in half if he wanted.  I?ve had enough of all this! His face, however, was kept dutifully blank.  ?Fine.? 

Turning to Venril, he shrugged.  ?Keep practicing.  I?ll be back as soon as I can.?

Rath didn?t wait for a response from either mustelid.  Hefting his axe over one shoulder, he trotted down the tunnel. This had better be good.

--

Rath could hear singing as he neared the main chamber, although singing was probably too nice a term for it.  Cracked voices in deep male growls that were echoed by more feminine caterwauls assaulted his ears before he could even hear the words. 

The ferret stepped into the cave, and saw a group of vermin, mostly Matukhana?s lot, lounged about around the fire.  He could make out the lyrics just fine now.

?If all them young lasses were cakes so enticing,
I?d be the baker, and spread them with icing!?

?If all the young lads were lovely like gin,
I?d guzzle ?em down, and they?d drip from me chin!?

?Roll your leg over,
Roll your leg over,
Roll your leg over,
And sit on my face!?

Rath gave a snort of mirth, noticing that the few woodlanders that were lingering in the room were shooting glares at the vermin and muttering darkly to themselves. 

Turning away from them, the ferret pinpointed Matukhana himself and trotted over to the fox, who was standing apart from the reveling vermin, near another tunnel leading elsewhere. 

The captain, seeing Rath approach, smiled so sweetly that it could have been spread on a scone.  ?Rath!  Come, friend.?

If the ferret hadn?t already been suspicious, he certainly was now. 

His hackles rose as he slowed to a stop beside Matukhana.  ?Hello, Captain,? he murmured, his voice tight. 

?Rath,? the fox started.  ?I haven?t told you, but I?m mighty proud of you.  You fight like Vulpuz himself.  The Fritterik love you.  Proklyan?s little lickspittles love you.  Ah?? he sighed.  ?I?m beginnin? to wonder if there?s anything you can?t do.?

The ferret shifted uncomfortably beneath the hail of praise.  ?Probably??

Matukhana laughed.  ?Don?t be so modest, cully!  You?ve been a shinin? example of a crewbeast.?

?Thanks.?  Rath scratched the tip of his nose.  ?Um, is that all you wanted to tell me??

The fox?s jovial expression sharpened just a little.  ?Now, don?t go runnin? off yet.  Listen close, now.?  He looked this way and that, his brush-tail flicking back and forth behind him as he leaned in.  ?You?ve done so well, I?m thinkin? of giving you an extra-special, secret mission.? 

Matukhana continued, striding down the passageway as Rath followed.  ?It seems that we?ve got a young lass in our midst with a sizable wealth, and she?s promised it to us in return for safe passage home when we get out of this place.?  The fox?s voice simmered with covetous greed.  ?However, due to her?? he coughed. ?unique personality, she?s been subject to a number of threats from members of the crew.? 

He stopped walking and turned to face Rath.  ?She?s no good to us dead.  Your job is to make sure she stays alive.  Got it??

Rath snorted.  ?You expect me to play nursemaid to some cantankerous wench??

The dog fox waved a paw in the air, a grin plastered on his narrow muzzle.  ?Oh, she?s not all that bad.  A little whiny, perhaps.?

?It doesn?t matter.?  The warrior narrowed his eye, stretching up to his full height.  ?I ain?t gonna be stuck taking care of Miss Prissypaws day and night.?

?If you don?t mind,? the new voice sliced through Rath like an icy blade, ?my name is Eliza.?

The ferret spun around to face the pine marten.  If her expression was a bow and arrow, he?d have been pierced through at least five times.

Rath attempted to form some sort of useful counter-argument.  ?But? you? when? nerghr!?

It didn?t really work out very well.

Gaining some semblance of coherency, Rath faced Matukhana.  ?You want me to guard her??

Eliza seemed equally incensed.  ?What is the meaning of this?  You?ve made him my guard?? she demanded.

Matukhana shrugged.  ?You, Miss,? he said, with a polite nod toward the marten, ?should be thankful that you?re getting? any sort of guard at all.  And you,? this was directed at Rath, ?are still under my command.? 

He sniffed, brushing a speck of dust from his long coat. ?Now, if you?ll excuse me, I?ve got to have a word with my crew.  Good day.? 

The fox sauntered town the tunnel, leaving two mustelids glaring daggers at his retreating back.  If only?

?Well.?

Eliza broke the silence, sniffing daintily.  She glanced down her snout at Rath, as if he was a particularly vile sort of insect.  ?I suppose a brute like you will have to suffice.?

The ferret growled.  ?Well, excuse me, princess.?

?I don?t.?  The scarred marten nodded promptly.  ?Nip along down to the kitchen and see if you can?t scrounge up something decent.  I?m nearly famished, so do be quick about it.?  She set herself down.  ?I?ll be waiting right here.?

Rath stormed down the tunnel.  Unique personality my tail.  Huh.  I'll never get a moment's rest, now. I?d slice her in two as much as talk to her, the little? The paw he?d thrust into the pocket of his coat came into contact with the bag of Keane?s balm. 

An idea beginning to blossom, the ferret grinned as he ran the rest of the length to the kitchens. 

--

?It took you long enough.? Eliza rose to her footpaws as Rath approached, a tray balanced on one paw.  ?What have you got for me??

The ferret set the tray on the ground.  ?All I could find was a bit of bread? but I did make you some tea.?  He shifted his gaze.  ?Perhaps we?ve started off on the wrong paw.  This will make you feel better.?

?Mm.?  Eliza nodded primly, taking the teacup.  ?Well.  This is unexpected, slug-guard.?  She took a dainty sip and her eyes widened.  ?Quite good; thank you.? 

Rath watched, innocence in his eye, as the marten drained the cup with surprising speed.  She was in the middle of her bread when she she dropped it awkwardly, staring at something unseen.  Her tail nearly bottlebrushed. 

?What have you done to me?" she protested.  "What's going on?  And..." she blinked.  "Why won't the cave stop moving?" 

?I?m not sure!? Rath said, grinning despite the shock in his voice.  ?I?d better ask somebeast.  You stay here and keep an eye on it, and I?ll be back.? 

Eliza blinked owlishly.  ?Y-yes.  Do be quick about it.  I'll just take care of this wall.?  The marten then proceeded to attempt to stab the rock wall with her knife as her bodyguard took his exit.

Rath was about to let out a well-deserved breath of relief when he nearly tripped over Damask.  He frowned at the robin, who frowned right back at him.

?What are you doing?? The ferret demanded, gripping his axe a little tighter.

?I could ask you the same thing, ruffian!? Damask, who had been ruffled literally as well as figuratively, stopped adjusting his plumage to snap back.  ?If you must know, I?m going to see Eliza.?

Rath balked; Eliza couldn?t be seen by anybeast, particularly this little blister.  He widened his stance.  ?No, you?re not.?

?Yes, I am.?  The bird clacked his beak menacingly.  ?Stand in my way, and you shall regret it.? 

?No,? Rath repeated.  ?Eliza needs her rest, and is not to be bothered, unless it?s something important.?  He snorted.  ?Which you very much aren?t.?

Damask was livid.  ?This is absurd!  Who are you to decide what Eliza needs??

?I might not be,? the ferret growled.  ?But she is.  She told me herself.? 

?You lie!? the robin hissed.  ?Why, I bet you?re holding her hostage, you brute!  Let her go this instant, or I?ll??

Rath took a step forward.  ?You?ll what?? He hefted his axe with menace.  ?Go ahead, bird, and I?ll be more than happy to make two of you.? 

For a moment, it looked as if Damask might act on his threat, but he hop-skipped backward, glaring at the ferret.  ?This is far from over.? 

The warrior continued his sigh of relief from earlier as the robin retreated down the passage.  He waited until he was sure it was safe, and then lumbered off.  He'd return eventually, but first he needed a good rest.

And a pint of ale wouldn't hurt either...