Midnight Snack

[Rallentando]

"The funny thing about long days is, the long ones are the slower ones. The fast days are the ones where too much happens to write down. First thought: Crepitating: what does this mean? Involves creeping, or pancakes? Unsure. Note to ask Pop-pop next visit. Until then, mustn't speak the word aloud. Could be naughty."

Rallentando stopped a while to suck on the pencil and stare off into space, working out the tenses.

The kitchen was mostly dark but for the torch left by the door. It wasn't enough to wash dishes by, but it was enough to write by if she sat in front of the door. Her notebook felt awfully empty.

"I had died in six days from today," she wrote. She spoke the words slowly as they formed. "But I am better now. I would write a lot about Kotir in the next few days but none of it really matters now. It would be all silly things, and I have much more important things to write about. These are things of magnitude if there ever were any! I am on a mission now, from-" Rallentando stopped there and began a new page. She needed to ask about the spelling first.

"I am making a lot of new friends acquaintances, though I have not been able to get Radish or Girdy to talk to me much. In fact, Girdy is now mad at me because I have been gone all day, busy with my mission, and have not helped with lunch or dinner. I am now stuck with washing duty tonight and have not eaten since this morning. I think Mr. Graves is busy as well because Girdy had to manage everything by herself and the wolves are not pleased. Doing our mission while taking care of our duties is going to be a chall- whoop!"

Rallentando skidded along the floor as the door behind her swung open. A more roly-poly beast would have been bowled away to safety. She simply got squished against the wall.

"Whuff!"

The door slammed shut again.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to sleep in the doorway?" Captain Blacktip stormed into the kitchen and began looting the pantry.

"No, sir, Captain Blacktip. That never came up." Honesty, she hoped, was the best policy when dealing with the irritable mink. She rubbed her smarting nose and hid her notebook away under a dish towel. "Can I help you find something?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Eggs. I want eggs. Eggs and alcohol."

Rallentando counted on her fingers. "Hard or soft boiled, fried, scrambled, poached, basted, shirred, stuffed, pickled, or... or fresh?"

The mink smiled. "Why not fresh? Yes, fresh will do nicely."

At least she wouldn't have to cook them. The smell made her ill. Rallentando took a deep breath. "Duck, robin, woodpigeon, quail, pheasant, sparrow, crow-"

"Just... some eggs." Alan pinched his forehead and scowled. He flopped down at the bread-making table in the middle of the kitchen. "And hurry."

Rallentando grabbed the first basket she saw in the bottom cupboard and carried it to the table. She almost dropped them as something began to claw at the door.

"Confounded... like to see the inventor of knobs... see how he likes knobs after I eat his paws... nothing wrong with a good old fashioned latch... Is there anyone in there? I say, open up! It is me, Clutus! If you refuse to allow me entry, I swear on my mother's egg, your treachery will be-"

"Captain Blacktip, shall I let him in? He is so loud." Rallentando placed the eggs in front of him. Alan grabbed one and sniffed it. He appeared to be dismissive of the owl trying to bully his way in, but finally shrugged.

"Might as well. I need to talk to him anyway."

The door opened before Rallentando could reach it, and Clutus stomped in and knocked her aside with an annoyed flap of his wings. Radish shifted the bottles in his arms and offered a paw to help her up.

"Thank you kindly, Radish."

"Welcome, miss." Radish scurried over to Alan. "Captain, your drinks."

"Bah," said the mink. Rallentando thought this deserved him a bop on the nose. She waited for someone else to do it. She was fond of her tail. She quickly looked around. Where was that owl?

"Architect Forst was in the cellars," said Radish. "I told him you would be wanting to see him here soon, sir."

"I don't. I've seen enough of him for one day. Where is that owl?"

"In the pantry. But you said everyone you had that meeting with was to have another one after dinner, only you never did."

"Fine." Alan spat his egg out and put it back in the basket.

"Where do they keep the salamis?" Clutus shouted from, as Radish had guessed or known, the pantry. Rallentando's ears folded back at the sounds of jars being jostled from the shelf. She hurried to assist. Girdy was going to have a conniption in the morning!

The kitchen was empty by the time Rallentando had rescued Clutus from having his beak stuck in a jar of apricot preserve. Both of them didn't say a word about what happened in the pantry. Clutus settled himself at one end of the table, and Rallentando at the other. She began cutting the three salami rolls he had selected. There was no noise except the crunching of her knife against the cutting board and the occasional impatient grunt from the owl.

"Have a busy day, sir?" she asked timidly.

"Busy? I believe you could say that.  I came back from the dead, explored the deepest bowls of Kotir, oh, and I was nearly killed, again." Clutus paused for a moment, apparently deep in thought, before continuing indignantly. "To make matters even more intolerable, the only thing I've eaten all day was some skinny water rat."

"Oh... That's nice."

She finished and slid the board across the table, and turned away before she could catch sight of Clutus enjoying his snack. She hadn't thrown up in her first week at Kotir and she wasn't about to start now.

She wondered where Captain Blacktip had gone to. The eggs were still out, and untouched, and the bottles were still there. It looked like he would return, perhaps with the others, so she left them. She decided now would be a good time to get started on those dishes.

Halfway through the forks, the kitchen suddenly combusted into a cacophonous chorus of complaints.

"We're here, now what's the meanin' o' this, Alan? I was tryin' t' paint!" said Rousseau.

"Sir, I've collected Mr. Wulgar from the slave compound." Radish hopped to be seen over the gaggle of beasts.

"Aye, almost started having a decent sleep for once, too," grumbled Chokk. He didn't slap his tail, but that was probably because he would smack Tobias if he did.

"I am weeth the beaver. Ees eet really necessary to meet at thees-" said Rexim.

"Everyone shut up! Radish, get me a corkscrew," demanded Alan.

"Where's Luka?" said Tobias, his voice the last tinkle of wind-chimes after a storm. Everyone was silent. Radish said, "Here, sir."

Captain Rousseau opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it. Clutus harrumphed and chomped a slice of salami in half. Rexim bowed his head. Alan's wine bottle popped.

Rallentando sat down and leaned against the cupboard. She folded her arms atop her knees and tucked her head away.

"Hellgates, she's going to cry again," said Alan.

"No I'm not..." She sniffled. "Maybe a little." Chokk shuffled over and quietly placed a paw on her shoulder.

"What happened?" Alan singled out Rousseau.

There was pregnant pause. Rallentando gave birth to a litter of hiccups.

"Luka's dead, if that ain't obvious," said Rousseau. "As we were comin' back to Kotir we got ambushed by a group o' water rats in the tunnel an' Luka... he stayed behind t' give us enough time t' get away... an' saved me life. We found another rat before this an' I slew 'im, only because he was gonna slay me if I didn't.  An' in the end, all we found at the end o' the tunnel and durin' our little adventure was a river an' a ditch leadin' to the tunnel entrance and some pesky water rats.  Nothin' even worth the trip.  Nothin' worth Luka dyin' over. Just a waste o' the time we were given." She crossed her arms. "After that, the ambush happened, we ran, didn't even stand an' help the beast, and here we are."

"He was a brave fox," said Rallentando to Chokk. "He wasn't bad as the rest."

"I'm sure he wasn't," said Chokk, although his tones suggested he was only humoring her. She hugged him anyway.

"Well," said Tobias, "we're not immortal. We can thank him for proving that."

"Can't imagine what an earful he must be getting from Vulpuz right about now," said someone who was obviously very heartless.

"Right then, everyone be careful and no more dying," said Alan. He was talking around an egg. "That's an order."

"And what did your lot find out, Captain Blacktip?"

"Talking to the healer didn't get us very far," said Chokk, as the mink tried to swallow. "Not ever sure why we used our precious time for that." Rallentando caught him glaring at Alan as he spoke. "However, she and that scaly seer have offered their help should we need it."

"Well, what's the plan, then? What are we going to do about these rats tomorrow?"

Rallentando gradually eased out of her sulk and returned to finishing the dishes. The water-dulled chinks and clanks in the tub drowned out the dialogue behind her, until she imagined it was some music box tune playing only for her.

She fell asleep with her nose pressed against the bottom of a frying pan, using her dishcloth as a pillow, and hear ears drooping and completely soaked in the murky water. She only woke when Chokk pulled her out and laid her down on a bag of tomorrow morning's oats, and only then very briefly.