Mens Sana in Corpore Sano

[Rexim]

?Where?s Rousseau?? asked Tobias, once they were a safe distance away from the camp.

Alan shrugged, ?Being an idiot.?

?Lovely. That ees two beasts that died to save us. Not that I am ungrateful, but eet would be nice eef you would put more planneeng eento your rescue atteempts next time,? said Rexim, who was lying face-up in the snow after collapsing from exhaustion. The fox had not run that far or that fast in years, and he was wondering how you knew if you were having a heart attack.

Clutus, being of a species with a vastly in-proportionate ratio of body size to leg length, had faired even worse than Rexim. The owl was currently slumped against a tree and looked close to passing out. ?How far away from Kotir are we? I cannot bear much more of this.?

?We should be close? assumeeng we ran een the right direction.?

Suddenly Rallentando started shouting, ?Look! There she is!?

Rexim did not rise from his comfortable bed of snow. ?Eet?s not polite to mock the dead, rabbeet.?

?It appears the woodlander is correct,? said Alan, shading his eyes with a paw.  ?She?s got?  oh hell.?

"Bunch o' lily-livered  cowards.  Abandon the rat, why don't ya?? asked Rousseau as she drew up on the group. Unfortunately for Rexim, she was holding her sword in such a way that the blood dripping off the blade fell on to the prone fox. He staggered upright and tried to wipe off his coat.

?Forgive me for putting life as a first priority, and why in the name of Vulpuz did you grab that?!?  Alan pointed at the bound and gagged water rat kit that Rousseau was carrying.

"A little reward fer stickin' around longer 'an you cowards."

Tobias covered his eyes. ?So you kitnapped him? Do you want them to pursue us??

?Well, we could pump ?im fer information??

?Are you mad? asked Alan.  ?It?s a bloody kit!  What on earth could it possibly tell us that would be of use??

?Can we debate thees later? I do not weesh to be around wheen the rats catch up,? said Rexim, tapping his footpaw impatiently.

Alan shrugged. ?Fine. Let?s get moving. Do you know which way to go this time??

?Oh, aye. Koteer ees very close, I assure you.?

?You had better be right,? said the mink.  ?Captain Rousseau, pick up that thing, and let's go.?

*

Rexim hammered on the gate. ?Hello up there! We have returned weeth eemportant news and a preesoner!?

A ferret?s head appeared over the battlements. ?Where have you lot been? I thought you were dead.?

?Not quite. But eef you do not opeen the gates we might be soon. There may be a bunch of angry rats followeeng behind us??

?I don?t think that?s going to be the biggest of your problems. When Kovari hears that you actually came back you?re going to wish you were dead.?

Alan leaned against the wall.  ?Yes, well, all in a days time.?

?So are you sure that you don?t want me to leave you out there? It?ll probably be less painful in the long run,? called back the soldier. ?I kid, of course. Give me a minute and I?ll have those gates open.?

?So, anyone have ideas to get us out of the hot water?? Alan asked the group after the ferret disappeared from sight.

?The wolves are relatively intelligent beasts.  I have no doubt I can appeal to their logic, and at least convince them to spare most-?

?Clutus, shut up. Toby, what do you think??

?Perhaps we could tell them that the rats are planning a major attack on Kotir. It?s supported by what we found in the tunnel, and it?s most likely going to happen now that this has turned into a hostage situation," he said, glancing at Rousseau and her captive. "They would probably overlook our disobedience if they have to prepare for an attack.?

Alan rubbed his chin. ?That makes sense. Rexim, you got anything??

?I am stayeeng well away from the wolves, thank you very much. Thees was all your idea.?

?Best idea I?ve heard yet.  However, not doable.  Where?s your voice rabbit??

?Rallentando, Mr. Blacktip.?

?You kiss your mother with that mouth??

The rabbit wrung her paws nervously. ?Well, do we really have to talk with Lady Kovari at all? Maybe we could tell somebeast less likely to be angry and they could report it to Lady Kovari.?

?I suppose that will have to do, although for me, that?s hardly possible.  Maybe something convenient will occur.?

"Here now," said Rousseau, "don't I get a say in this?"

?No.  You?re a kitnapping idiot until I say otherwise.  So shut up.?

"Well, I'll be sure t' leave ya if that's wot ya want, ya lousy-"

?Hello again!? Everybeast jumped as the gate opened and the ferret stuck his head out. ?Are you going to stand out there talking all day? Because then I?d feel like I wasted my time unlocking this gate.?

Rexim glared at the soldier. ?Sileence yourself, please. Eet has been a long couple of days.?

The group filed in and crossed the parade ground into the main building, Rousseau's diminutive companion attracting a fair number of stares. Rexim took off immediately and stumbled into his room. Once inside, he collapsed on his bead, accompanied by a crackling of parchment as he realized that his bed was still covered in blueprints.

Oddly enough though, the fox did not feel in the least bit tired now. It was comparable to when he was a student at the Builder?s Guild and had once attended a party that lasted for twelve hours straight and afterward was still coherent enough to pass the yearly exam.

I haven?t slept properly in three days. I should be unconcious right now. Too much excitement, I suppose.

Heh, excitement. Yes, I suppose being locked up by a bunch of cannibalistic religious maniacs could be called that. Last time I saw them I nearly died, that should be enough excitement for a lifetime.

But why are they trying to kill us anyway? Sure, we killed a bunch of them, but we?ve been leaving them alone for a while. Does anybeast know anything about them? The only important beasts left alive from the first expedition are myself and Talfor, and he would rather cut of his right arm than talk with the rats.

Rikhard. Rexim sat up and jumped out of bed. That was it. The only wolf who ever cared about what the rats were doing, even if he only did it so he could figure out better ways to kill them. Of course, he was dead, but didn?t he have a diary or something?

The fox tossed papers off his desk and rooted through the drawers. All the paper in the castle tended to end up in his room, and he vaguely remembered stashing the journal somewhere.

He swept a pile of papers off of his wine cabinet, and lo and behold there it was. The cover was absent of any writing, but Rexim was sure that it was the correct book because it was still covered in the previous owner?s vital juices. He picked it up and opened to the first page.

?This is the official journal of Captain Rikhard, in the service of King Rolf of the Northlands. Unauthorized reading of this journal is punishable by whatever I feel necessary. That means you, Talfor.

Concerning the native water rat tribes of the area, collectively known as ?Gloomers,? I haven noticed some very macabre rituals of their religion which make a good case for their extermination??

Rexim punched the air. ?Yes! I knew eet. There ees surely goeeng to be sometheeng een here that weell be useful.?

Suddenly, a babble of voices erupted from the hallway outside. The fox tried to listen to the conversation, but his mangled hearing could not pick up any distinct words.

Thank you, Father, he thought, rubbing the stump where his left ear used to be. Sighing, the fox stowed the journal in his coat pocket and went to see what all the noise was about.

?What ees so eemportant that you eenterupt me een my momeent of triumph?? he asked the gaggle of vermin outside the door.

?One of the terns showed up with a message,? said a stoat.

?I thought the woodlanders keelled theem all.?

?Not one of ours,? replied the stoat, holding up a piece of paper. ?It?s from the army that Rolf sent.?

Rexim started. The army hadn?t sent a message about their delay last time. Maybe they were going to make it in time for the feast? An extra two hundred beasts would certainly help with the rat problem.

?Geeve me that,? he said, snatching the note.

?Let?s see thees? All hail the Lord and Lady of Koteer, blah blah? we regret to eenform you? we have been delayed and may not arrive een time for the feast? That?s certainly good to know. Carry one weeth whatever you were doeeng?

The fox handed the note back and retreated to his room. May, that was interesting. There certainly had been no ?may? a week from now, or whenever it was. But a chance of an army wasn?t much better than an absent one, and if, or rather when, the rats attacked they were probably in big trouble. He would have to talk with Yvo or somebeast about strengthening the defenses tomorrow.

Right now, however, Rexim finally felt his inexplicable energy fleeing him. He walked to his bed and collapsed face-first into the blueprints. He was asleep almost instantly.